WWF Monday Night RAW (July 29, 1996)

Original Airdate: July 29, 1996 (taped July 22)

From Seattle, Washington; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

Sycho Sid v Justin Bradshaw: Sid takes his sweet time with his entrance here, taking as long to get down that tiny aisle as most guys take at stadium shows. He's very over, though. Bradshaw goes toe-to-toe with him at the bell, but loses a slugfest, and Sid drops him with a chokeslam. Bradshaw reacts badly, and grabs his cowbell to whack Sid for the quick DQ at 1:03. Huh? Really? Sid just returned, and they can't book a clean win over freakin' Bradshaw? He fights off the post match beat down and hits the powerbomb afterwards, but too little too late, frankly. It's one thing if this was setting up a program, but they literally never wrestled each other ever again. DUD

Backstage, Sunny officially introduces us to Faarooq Asaad, and his motives for attacking Ahmed Johnson last week are murky, to say the least. First it's over disrespecting Sunny, then it's about some street thing, then it's about Faarooq being fat, or something. I dunno. Well, either way, he's here. What I find funny is that the character really didn't change much going forward. He's already got the name and attitude he'd retain until the comedy character he became at the tail end of his career, but he's inexplicably dressed like a gladiator. Like I said last week, they were pretty openly acknowledging that he's Ron Simmons during the debut angle, so why not just let him be Ron Simmons?

Vader v Marc Mero: He's beat a plumber, he's beat a hockey player, now can he beat Vader?! Jim Cornette sits in on commentary for this, and immediately waives his pimp hand around with advice for Mero about Sable. You know he's doing a good job of playing a jerk when you just want to reach through the screen a slap him. Vader unloads on Marc at the bell, but Mero charges him with a somersault senton, and actually hooks a crucifix for two. That was rather impressive. He keeps coming with another charge, but this time runs right into a shoulderblock, and Vader pancakes him with a wheelbarrow facebuster. Into the corner for some of the patented Vader abuse, but Mero wants to throw, so Vader goes to the eyes to keep him calm. He drills Marc with a short-clothesline before teeing off in the corner again, and a splash gets him two. Another slugfest goes Vader's way, but he stops to taunt Sable, allowing Mero to recover with a bodypress for two. Clothesline sends Vader over the top for a somersault plancha (way out of position on that one, unfortunately), and Marc rolls him back in for a nice flying axehandle. Flying sunset flip follows, and he's WAY off of his mark, but Vader takes a few steps back to save it. That looked terrible. Mero goes up again with a flying bodypress, but Vader catches him in a powerslam on the way down for three at 6:21. This had some mojo, but couldn't maintain it. Vader looked pretty bad here too, constantly out of position, and sucking wind. * ¾

Last week, Clarence Mason petitioned President Gorilla Monsoon's office to get one of his clients into the promotion

The Stridex Slam of the Week is Sid powerbombing Bradshaw earlier tonight. The clip took longer than the match

SummerSlam ad

Vince brings Jose Lothario and Jim Cornette out, and Jim cuts an epic motor mouth promo about how Jose is a has-been and a nobody that's only famous because of Shawn Michaels. He just goes on and on, until Lothario finally bops him with a right hand, to a big pop. Basic stuff, but did a better job of making me care about Jose's character than anything they'd done so far. It's nice to see them give him a little direction other than 'Shawn's trainer who no one's ever heard of before'

Backstage, Mankind attacked Shawn Michaels with the Mandible Claw while Shawn was watching the Cornette/Lothario segment

Over the weekend on Superstars, Jerry Lawler got too cocky during a match with Aldo Montoya, and ended up getting pinned

Davey Boy Smith v Henry Godwinn: Owen Hart sits in on commentary for this one. Aldo shows up on the split screen during the intros, accepting Lawler's challenge to a rematch for next week. And, if that's not ENOUGH going on all at once, he's a ticker on the bottom of the screen to announce that Sunny will be live in an AOL chat room to discuss her status as the 'most downloaded celebrity on the internet.' Criss cross sees Henry hit a wheelbarrow facebuster for two (popular spot tonight), so Bulldog bails to break the momentum. Owen, meanwhile, is owning everyone on commentary, as usual. Back in, they trade wristlocks, and Godwinn tries a charge in the corner, but Davey dodges. Smith with a pair of corner whips, but his own attempt at a charge hits boot, and Henry pounds him. Davey shrugs him off by dumping the hog farmer over the top, but Godwinn beats the count, so Smith snapmares him down for a chinlock. Henry escapes, so Bulldog throws a knee, and adds a legdrop for two. Vertical suplex, but Godwinn reverses, so Davey starts slugging away before Henry can make a comeback. Bulldog uses another corner whip, but misses a charge again, and Godwinn throws a backelbow for two. Slop Drop, so Owen runs over to spill the contents of Henry's slop bucket, and Godwinn freaks out. Dude, it's literal slop. I'm sure you can get more. But Henry is inconsolable at the notion of harm to his precious can of waste, allowing Bulldog to capitalize on the distraction with a Running Powerslam at 7:55. Well, as far as distraction finishes go, that one was certainly unique. ½*

Meanwhile, Olympian Mark Henry is, like, really strong

Back at In Your House, Goldust and Mankind got freaky in the boiler room after the show. I was into Mankind as a kid, but I find the early version of his character really grating now

Undertaker v Steve Austin: Austin keeps trying for a handshake at the bell, but that goes nowhere. Undertaker stalks after him, but Steve dodges him in the corner, and tries a headlock. Undertaker fights free and throws him back into the corner, but Austin evades again, and grabs a wristlock. Undertaker reverses, so Steve goes to the eyes, and that allows him to unload, but Undertaker no-sells. Corner whip hits, and a criss cross ends in Undertaker delivering the jumping clothesline. Ropewalk forearm, but Austin pulls him off to block, and pounds him down for a ropechoke. Steve with a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop for two, as Lawler notes that Austin is the "odds on favorite" to win the battle royal next week, which Vince disagrees with. Well, he did go on to win the next two Royal Rumbles (on his way to a record three Rumble wins), so maybe the King was on to something. Also, fuck, we have to sit through a battle royal next week?! The match drags on with Austin in control, as we get a split screen with Mankind walking around backstage. Austin hits a piledriver to set up a dive off the top, but Undertaker falls into the ropes to crotch Steve up there, and the Deadman chokeslams him off the top. Tombstone, but here comes Mankind, and Undertaker abandons the match to go after him. I can't really take him seriously if he's not threatening to dump out a slop bucket, though. Undertaker kicks his ass all the way up the aisle, and doesn't even care when he's counted out at 10:07. Afterwards, Undertaker chases Mankind off, and comes back to drop Austin with the Tombstone anyway. McMahon then goes in to ask him about the Boiler Room Brawl at SummerSlam, and you know Undertaker means business because he wants to threaten Mankind himself, instead of letting Paul Bearer do the talking. These two had a weird chemistry where sometimes it could be really fun, but most of the time it was boring. This was a 'most of the time.' ¾*

BUExperience: You know, one hour really is the perfect length for a weekly wrestling program. Even without anything especially notable, the show is just such an easy watch, and drags a lot less than even these two hour Nitro’s.

Monday Night Wars Rating Chart

	7/29/96
Show	RAW	Nitro
Rating	2.1	3.1
Total Wins	17	24
Win Streak		7
Better Show (as of 7/22)	10	29