WWF Monday Night RAW (July 22, 1996)

Original Airdate: July 22, 1996

From Seattle, Washington; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Smoking Gunns v Shawn Michaels and Ahmed Johnson: Sunny wheels out a giant birthday cake for Shawn, but it's a distraction to allow the Gunns to baseball slide into them, and the tag champs go to work before the bell even sounds. Shawn quickly fights Billy Gunn off with a Superkick, however, and he goes outside to paint Sunny's face with some frosting. That ends in Sunny trying to smash the cake into his face, but it backfires on her via Ahmed, and Michaels licks it off. And apparently the match is off for now because Billy is still knocked silly from the Superkick, but President Gorilla Monsoon announces that it will happen later tonight

Marc Mero v Goon: Last week, Mero narrowly beat a plumber, now let's see what he can do against a rogue hockey player! We've got Steve Austin on guest commentary for this one, which is always a good bet. Goon attacks from behind as Mero is holding the ropes open for Sable to get out of the ring, and he pounds Marc into the corner. Mero tries fighting him off with a slingshot splash, but Goon lifts his knees to block, and he hits a hip attack to the midsection. That looked awkward as fuck. Goon with a backelbow, so Mero tries a small package for two, and uses his legs for a double-underhook takedown. Goon fights him off in the corner and throws a clothesline, as Jake Roberts calls in to make his excuses for missing the PPV the night before. And give Lawler plenty of time to make fun of him, of course. Meanwhile, Goon works a chinlock, and hits a shoulderblock, followed by a kneelift. Another backelbow, but Mero dodges this time, and lands a dropkick. Goon tries a side suplex to keep control, but Marc counters with a double-underhook cradle for two, and it turns into a slugfest, with Mero controlling. He hits a powerslam for two, so Goon sweeps the leg, and chokes him down on the mat. Chinlock, but Mero fights free, and they totally botch what's supposed to be a headscissors takedown. No matter, Mero hits a backdrop and a kneelift, so Goon tosses him to the outside to buy time. Goon follows, but misses a charge into the steps, and Marc dives on him with a somersault plancha! Mero with a slingshot legdrop on the way back in, and that's actually enough to finish this goon at 7:03. Some rough patches, but it was energetic enough. ¾*

Backstage, Shawn and Ahmed note that they're going to "take all the straps" tonight, which must have had poor Vince biting his fist to keep from screaming out on commentary

Enter a sweepstakes to win a free PPV buy for SummerSlam! I was all over this as a kid, since my parents had scaled WAY back on buying PPVs by this point, what with the WWF and WCW going to the monthly model

Bob Backlund is out in the crowd campaigning/threatening

Earlier today, Clarence Mason met with President Monsoon to try and convince Gorilla's office to allow a mystery client of Mason's into the WWF, despite his arrest record. Oh, that's cute. If they were barring wrestlers from competing because of arrest records, the 80s and 90s would probably feature a sum total of 9 workers. I don't think ECW would ever have even been able to open its doors!

Mankind v Freddie Joe Floyd: Floyd tries a waistlock at the bell, but Mankind doesn't even pretend to acknowledge it. Freddie manages to dump him to the outside to buy time, and hits a dropkick as Mankind heads back in, but totally misses a flying bodypress. Like, that wouldn't have hit even if Mankind didn't get out of the way. Mankind pounds him down in the corner for a running kneesmash, and a guillotine legdrop on the apron follows, but Freddie fires up a comeback attempt. He can't even manage a single move other than kicks before Mankind pounds him down again, however, and he gets into trouble in a tree of woe. Mankind misses a charge to allow Freddie one more lame comeback attempt, and he manages a flying backelbow for two. Oklahoma roll gets two, but Freddie gets crotched on the top as he goes up again, and Mankind puts on the Mandible Claw at 3:47. This felt long, even at under four minutes. ¼*

Backstage, Marc Mero makes so many cat related references that poor Sable looks embarrassed to be standing with him. And you know she's probably got a really high threshold, considering she stuck through the Johnny B. Badd years

Goldust v Barry Horowitz: Brian Pillman sits in for commentary for this one. Vince notes that Goldust has been 'very aggressive' as of late, focusing less on 'theatrics' and 'shenanigans.' Perhaps his point would resonate better if he didn't make it while Goldust was making his incredibly over the top theatrical entrance. Goldust goes right to work, and hits a clothesline before dumping Barry to the outside for a trip into the apron, and a flurry of fists. See, NOW might be a good time to make that point, Vince. Back in, Goldust hits a vertical suplex, and he bootchokes Barry in the corner, as Pillman gets colorful on commentary. Goldust with a pair of corner whips to set up the Curtain Call, and he humps Horowitz along with the referee's count of three at 2:10. Just a squash. DUD

Backstage, Sunny is still covered in what I hope is frosting, but thank goodness she's there, because listening to the Smoking Gunns trying to cut a heel promo is actually physically painful

This weeks Stridex Slam of the Week features Vader hitting Shawn Michaels with an avalanche and Vaderbomb at last night's In Your House

And speaking of Vader, Vince brings the Mastodon and manager Jim Cornette out for an interview to announce that Vader will challenge Shawn Michaels for the WWF Title at SummerSlam. Nothing special here, but Cornette is entertaining and effective as always

SummerSlam ad. Vince: "well, it's not exactly the Olympics, but it is SummerSlam!" God, sound lamer, you dork

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Smoking Gunns v Shawn Michaels and Ahmed Johnson: The Gunns run in with a sneak attack, but the challengers clean house before they can get too far, and holy shit, let's all stop and admire Sunny's rack! The dust settles on Billy and Shawn to start, and Michaels quickly hooks a rollup for two. Criss cross is dominated by HBK, and he sends Gunn over the top with a clothesline - Billy still selling the damage from the Superkick earlier in the show as he recovers on the outside. Shawn forces him in by using the top rope as a slingshot, and an armdrag leaves Billy grounded in an armbar. Over to Ahmed for more abuse to the arm, as the challengers take turns working the part. Billy manages to fight an armbar from Shawn off with a bodyslam ahead of a tag, but Bart ends up in the same position anyway! Back to Ahmed, so Bart takes a cheap shot to try and fight him off, but a corner whip backfires when Johnson rebounds with a clothesline. Bart manages a hotshot to cool the big Johnson down, however, and it's over to Billy, but Ahmed quickly kills him with a sloppy powerslam before the Gunns can build momentum. That slam was all over the damn place. Shawn tags in with a flying axehandle, and a hiptoss leads to a headscissors takedown. Again, but this time Bart lends a hand from the apron, and Shawn ends up getting dropped across the top rope. Bart tags in with a corner whip into a press-drop across the top rope next, as the champs go to work cutting the ring in half on Michaels. Shawn is doing his usual brilliant job of selling here, making the Gunns look like way bigger bad assess than they have maybe ever. Shawn manages to knock their heads together on a double team to allow the tag to Ahmed, and Roseanne Barr the door! Billy eats a spinebuster, so Bart pulls to top rope down to send Johnson careening over the top, and here comes a mystery man in a weird gladiator outfit (Faarooq, in his debut) to attack Ahmed for the DQ at 15:35. He keeps pounding Johnson well after the bell, and Shawn is too busy dealing with the Gunns to immediately save, so he really gets his licks in. The announcers note that he "looks like Ron Simmons," which makes you wonder why they didn't just bill him as Ron Simmons, and forget the hard to spell name and gladiator outfit. ** ¾

BUExperience: It felt like there was a lot going on this week, which gave the episode some welcome energy, even if the stuff itself wasn’t particularly good. Bad night for wrestling overall though, with RAW scoring their lowest rating since October 30 1995, but Nitro also scoring their lowest in over a month, and winning by a much narrower margin than they had been in recent weeks. In fact, this number was so low for nWo era Nitro, that they wouldn’t score a lower rating until all the way into April 1998. I’m guessing the rating decline is related to the 1996 Olympic games, which had just started a couple of days before this.

Monday Night Wars Rating Chart

	7/22/96
Show	RAW	Nitro
Rating	2.2	2.6
Total Wins	17	23
Win Streak		6
Better Show (as of 7/15)	9	29