WWF Monday Night RAW (October 14, 1996)

Original Airdate: October 14, 1996 (taped September 23)

From Hershey, Pennsylvania; Your Hosts are Kevin Kelly and Jim Ross

Vader v Phineas Godwinn: Vader tees off on him in the corner to start, and uses a three-alarm no-release short-clothesline to put Godwinn on his ass. Back into the corner for more abuse, then to the outside for more of the same, as Ross and Kelly get into a weird argument about Kevin Dunn. It's in character, but still really weird to hear. Vader keeps this squash going, until Sycho Sid shows up at ringside, yelling about how he's 'from Arkansas too.' That allows Godwinn to come back with a side suplex and a clothesline to the outside, as Sid leaves to go tell some other folks where he's from, I assume. Inside, Godwinn uses a bodyslam, and it's Slop Drop time, but Vader hooks his arm on the ropes to block. He bodyblocks Godwinn down, and the Vaderbomb finishes at 4:35. ¼*

Survivor Series ad

Jim Ross brings Mr. Perfect out to discuss his planned return to the ring on next weeks show. Man, those mid-90s style oversized suits look so terrible. Must have been a great time to be a fatty, though. Weird strategy here, as they basically have him say the same stuff Bob Backlund was saying about the New Generation two years earlier, only this time it's coming out of the mouth of a babyface. No matter, it definitely worked, because I remember being REALLY excited about this in 1996

Big Bang Boom Tour ad. It's been a while since they've done tour date ads on RAW, and it's nice to see again

WWF denim shirt ads. Yep, the price is still $50 plus shipping

Jake Roberts v Jerry Lawler: Jake comes out looking disheveled, carrying a bottle of booze in his hand, and looking generally drunk. It's Heroes of Wrestling Jake, three years early! So Lawler, of course, rips into him, but the referee doesn't want to start the match. That brings out President Gorilla Monsoon, but Jake whispers something to him, and he agrees to let the referee start the match. So a confident Lawler goes right at him, only for Jake to pop him with the DDT, and score the quick win at 0:39 - Roberts never drunk at all! Or, well, not 'never,' but you know. This was actually a pretty good segment, and as a bonus, saved us from having to watch a full length match between these two. DUD

Jesse James is still the 'real Double J,' and he's pissed because Jeff Jarrett 'made him' leave the WWF in 1995, but he's back now, and he can sing for real. Which is, of course, a prerequisite to becoming WWF Champion, so watch out! 'We're looking forward to hearing and seeing more' from him, note the announcers. Speak for yourselves

Hunter Hearst Helmsley v Freddie Joe Floyd: The announcers hype up the latest issue of WWF Magazine, which apparently has an 'absolutely riveting' article about Ahmed Johnson in it. And then they get back to bickering about Kevin Dunn, as this 'bitter Jim Ross' angle continues to explore the surreal. And, speaking of odd, HHH decides to prevent Mr. Perfect from stealing his valet for the evening by handcuffing her to the post (against her will) while he wrestles. Well, at least if this business didn't work out for him, we know HHH could have had a career on the Today Show, I guess. "A great future, but his focus is not on his opponent. His focus is split with those beautiful ladies, and handcuffs." I love how they say this shit without even the hint of a wink. Jesse Ventura would be having a field day. HHH hiptosses him across the ring to start, but Floyd returns the favor, and uses a drop-toehold into a headlock. Meanwhile, Ross continues to rant about his treatment, all of which went way over my head in 1996, but that I'm actually really getting a kick out of now. HHH absolutely unloads on Floyd in the corner, and a kneelift sets up a swinging neckbreaker, as Hunter's handcuffed valet still manages to clap for him. Now that's one dedicated hooker! HHH with a hanging vertical suplex that nearly lets us have a look at little Freddie Joe, and here comes Perfect. He chats up the valet, which distracts HHH, and Floyd nails him from behind. And, turns out, Perfect has a key to the cuffs, which he apparently got from some ringside security guy. Somehow. He walks off with her, as Floyd actually kicks out of the Pedigree at two! Looks like that was supposed to be HHH letting off the cover to go after Perfect, but then Floyd kicked out anyway. He's lucky this is 1996 'I've got no clout other than I'm Shawn Michaels' friend' HHH. So, Hunter goes after Perfect on the outside, but gets his ass knocked out, and Floyd wins by countout at 4:07. This was pretty good build for the Perfect match, even if the actual wrestling was just background. ¼*

Steve Austin is backstage, and he notes that, in lieu of a match with Bret Hart, he'll just kick Shawn Michaels' ass tonight instead

The Playstation Slam of the Week is Henry Godwinn hitting Davey Boy Smith with a Slop Drop

Next week, Mr. Perfect returns to action against Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Mankind continues to chill at the cemetery

Faarooq v Alex Porteau: Sunny does guest commentary for this one, looking blazingly hot. And she's no longer Faarooq's manager, apparently. Kinda weird that she'd still show up to do commentary on his match, though. That's like the wrestling equivalent of driving by your ex's house at night. Faarooq unloads, but Alex ducks a clothesline, and throws a dropkick. That just pisses Faarooq off, however, and he absolutely DRILLS the poor Pug. Ross continues his run tonight by noting that Faarooq's headgear is completely embarrassing, and sarcastically calling Vince a 'marketing genius.' I like this Jim Ross. Faarooq with the Dominator at 1:56. Apparently, it was called the 'Tiger Bite' at this point - something I totally don't remember. This was a pretty aggressive squash, with Faarooq really letting the guy have it here. ½*

On LiveWire this past weekend, Ahmed Johnson had a tense phone call with Faarooq. This was actually a pretty great little segment, with Johnson bringing intensity and realism to the table

Undertaker is, also, still hanging out at the cemetery. At least Mankind has Paul Bearer for company

Shawn Michaels v Steve Austin: Shawn's WWF Title is not on the line tonight. There's less than ten minutes left on the Network's time bar before Shawn even makes his entrance, so don't expect much here. This match is the perfect way to 'celebrate Columbus Day,' the announcers note. It beats having Tatanka come out and job, I guess. Ross also notes that Vince wants to 'saddle Michaels up, and ride him into the ground.' He means because of the severity of his schedule as champion, but dear lord. They feel each other out at start, as Vader and Jim Cornette observe from a monitor in the back. And then Sid pops up on split screen to cut a promo on Vader as well. Pinfall reversal sequence ends in Shawn trying the Superkick, but Austin hits the deck, and bails to the outside to avoid him. Steve stops to yell at some kids out there, so Shawn goes after him, but loses the high ground. Criss cross on the way back in ends in Austin using a hotshot, but Michaels blocks the Stunner, and they're working like they're deep into a twenty minute match here. Austin unloads in the corner, but Shawn turns the tables with a ten-punch, so Vader runs in to attack for the DQ at 7:21. That draws Savio Vega out to help Shawn with the two-front war, but Austin quickly gets rid of him, so Sid runs out, and... Vader runs away from him. Seriously? That then draws 'Diesel' and 'Razor Ramon' out to watch from the aisle. Which I guess makes some degree of sense, since Sid did that same type of running away to set up his pay per view match with Diesel in '95. Diesel > Sid > Vader, it's simple math. But then Shawn and Sid accidentally collide during the scuffle, and start yelling at each other before Sid can see Diesel standing there, and run away. As weird as this fake Diesel and Razor angle is, it's even weirder seeing them on screen with the real Shawn. * ¼

BUExperience: Despite being the go-home show for Buried Alive, they actually spent more time hyping stuff that would play out at Survivor Series, and stuff for next weeks episode, than In Your House. But, such was often the case during the Monday Night Wars. Buried Alive felt like it’s already a write-off before it even happened – though I was definitely excited about it as a kid.

And speaking of the war, this episode drew the lowest rating the WWF had ever done head-to-head with WCW at the time (and third lowest RAW rating of the entire war), with a brutal 1.8. To put that in perspective, even when WCW was circling the drain, they were still consistently drawing above a 2.0.

Monday Night Wars Rating Chart

	10/14/96
Show	RAW	Nitro
Rating	1.8	3.3
Total Wins	17	33
Win Streak		16
Better Show (as of 10/7)	13	34