WWF Monday Night RAW (September 30, 1996)

Original Airdate: September 30, 1996 (taped September 23)

From Hershey, Pennsylvania; Your Hosts are Kevin Kelly, Jim Ross, and Jerry Lawler

Steve Austin v Jake Roberts: Jake opts not to wear a top tonight, since I guess he didn't think he looked old and out of shape enough with one. Austin dominates him in the early going, as Ross pushes along with the fake Razor and Diesel storyline on commentary. I like how the other announcers are actually outright saying that they're cheap knockoffs, which seems like a good strategy. If the goal is to, you know, make people want to turn the channel to see the originals. Jake goes for the DDT, so Austin hits the deck and bails, allowing Roberts to go after Lawler instead. Austin sneaks up on him, and takes Jake in for a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop, and Steve works him over. They announce Austin facing Savio Vega at In Your House here, which never happened. Steve continues working him over in slow, dull fashion, and another 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop is worth two. He uses a reverse chinlock, but Jake reverses a turnbuckle smash, and starts making a comeback. DDT, but Austin hooks the top rope to block, and tries a leveraged pin, but gets busted at two. That allows Jake to land the DDT, but Austin is in the ropes at two, and here comes Lawler with a bottle of booze to try and distract Jake with. And it works! King spits a mouthful of it at Jake, and that allows Austin the time to recover, and hit the Stunner at 9:43. This was pretty bad, though I don't really fault Austin for it. Afterwards, he and Lawler beat Jake down, until Savio Vega runs out with a strap to make the save. Why was Savio always carrying around a leather strap, anyway? Was it a sex thing? DUD

Mankind hangs out in a cemetery to build up his Buried Alive match with Undertaker. No wonder business was so bad at this point. They were promoting to literal stiffs!

Backstage, 'Razor Ramon' and 'Diesel' warm up

And speaking of 'sex things,' Hunter Hearst Helmsley - upset at having his valets stolen before he gets to make sweet sweet love to them - comes out to issue a challenge to Mr. Perfect. And that's it. It's so weird to see Hunter be so succinct

The Godwinns v The Grimm Twins: HHH sits in on commentary for this. Ah, I knew he'd have more to say. And, of course, Lawler is very sympathetic to his complaints. The match is so interesting that most of it is presented in split screen as Hunter cuts promos on Perfect on commentary. And then we get Perfect himself on another split screen, and he accepts his challenge to a match. Oh man, I remember being really, really excited about that back in 1996. I'm also kind of surprised that they just went with the challenge/acceptance all within the span of five minutes, instead of drawing it out. Anyway, the Godwinns win at 4:06. The match was just background to the angles. ¼*

We get another expose on the fraud that is the singing career of Jeff Jarrett, and it's revealed (via previously secret rehearsal footage from In Your House II) that Roadie was in fact the one doing all the singing. That's all well and good, but are we really supposed to buy that the WWF didn't know about it the whole time? I mean, when the rehearsal took place on their own set, and was filled with their own cameras?

Savio Vega v 'Razor Ramon': WWF President Gorilla Monsoon does guest commentary here, and the announcers using the names 'Scott Hall' and 'Kevin Nash' is just so weird. Like I said earlier, this whole angle just comes off so badly. Not only the desperation part, but that they're flat-out saying that these are just cheap imitations that aren't as good as the real Hall and Nash. You know, the guys wrestling on Nitro. Savio charges in for an attack, and it's going to be hard for me to do play-by-play for this because the commentary is so damn mind-blowing right now. I mean, it's Jim Ross and Gorilla fucking Monsoon arguing over Scott Hall's WCW contract status, on air. This shit was, to say the least, confusing for me as a kid in 1996, but now - wow. It's also so odd to hear Gorilla talk about how Razor isn't 'his real name,' while also acknowledging that it wasn't the original workers real name either. I mean, this is the same dude that was calling guys 'Zeus' or 'Red Rooster' like that was what was written on their birth certificates. Razor hits a fallaway slam, prompting Ross to call it a 'very Razor Ramon-like maneuver,' with Monsoon then immediately shouting 'that's not Scott Hall!' This is getting to be too much for me. And then we split screen to Dok Hendrix outside of Razor and Diesel's dressing rooms, where he's trying to get an interview with 'Diesel,' but the room is empty. Wow, riveting. He should change his name from Dok to Geraldo. Gorilla keeps grilling him about who this guy really is, prompting Ross to go on a rant about how they used to have a literal clown wrestling in the WWF, so how can they complain about this now. And then Gorilla responds by noting that it was for the 'little ones at home,' as Ross tries to get him to admit that he hated the Doink gimmick. Holy fucking shit, WHAT IS THIS?! Anyway, Vega starts making a comeback, so Diesel walks out, and they immediately shout 'that's not Kevin Nash,' like there was ever any doubt. Sadly, they didn't go all in with it and yell 'that's Isaac Yankem,' though. He takes a cheap shot, and the referee rings the bell at 8:02. I wasn't even paying attention to the match, honestly. ½*

Meanwhile, in another graveyard (or maybe another part of the same graveyard, who knows), Undertaker also hangs out. The announcers use the words 'unbelievable' over and over again to describe this, but really, what was so crazy about it? He's just standing in a graveyard with a shovel. I mean, HIS NAME IS UNDERTAKER! It's not really even far-fetched, let alone beyond belief

Next week, Sycho Sid battles Goldust. Yeah, that's probably not going to be good

This past Saturday, WWF Champion Shawn Michaels was at Macy's in New York, Rocking the Vote

Shawn Michaels and Jose Lothario v Vader and Jim Cornette: I almost typed ‘mixed tag team match’ by accident. Shawn and Vader start, thank God. Though, I'm not expecting too much from Shawn, considering this was taped the night after the brutal Mankind match at In Your House. Shawn sticks and moves, but runs into a clothesline during a criss cross, and Vader squashes him with an avalanche. He adds a short-clothesline, then dead lifts Shawn up for a weird looking fallaway slam. Well, that was... unique. Powerbomb, but Shawn uses a rana to counter, and he slips to the outside to crotch Vader on the ring post. Shawn with a flying seated senton on the way back in, but Vader ducks a bodypress, and Michaels takes a bump to the outside. Back in, Vader clobbers him with a bodyblock before unloading in the corner, and with Shawn good and beat up, Cornette wants to tag in. Michaels passes to Lothario while Jim warms up though, and Jose unloads on him. Unfortunately for Jose, Vader gets the tag back in, but Lothario manages to tag out before the big man can do any damage. Poor guy looked like he was ready to shit his pants. Shawn hits Vader with a jumping forearm to set up the flying elbowdrop, but the big man ducks the Superkick, and throws a clothesline for two. Vaderbomb time, but he takes too long posturing, and lands on Shawn's knees. That triggers a comeback, and Michaels manages a bodyslam to set up the Superkick, so Cornette goes after him. That allows Vader to charge with another avalanche, but Shawn dodges. He tries another bodyslam, but gets toppled this time, and Vader adds a Powerbomb. Vaderbomb connects this time, and it gets the pin at 8:25. This was basically a Shawn/Vader singles match, as Lothario and Cornette didn't really do more than they normally do from the outside as managers. I'm surprised they actually jobbed him (and that Shawn agreed to job) to Vader cleanly here. Afterwards, Vader wants to give him more punishment, but Sid runs out to make the save, so Goldust runs out to back Vader up, and we have a big brawl as the show ends. ** ½

BUExperience: Well, the Razor/Diesel/Ross/Monsoon stuff is interesting from an adult smart-mark perspective, and definitely falls into the ‘so bad, it’s good’ category. The main event is a solid wrestling match. Everything else is pretty focused, if unspectacular. It is what it is.

Monday Night Wars Rating Chart

	9/30/96
Show	RAW	Nitro
Rating	2.3	3.3
Total Wins	17	31
Win Streak		14
Better Show (as of 9/23)	11	34