Original Airdate: October 7, 1996 (taped September 23)
From
Marc Mero v 'Diesel': Mero's Intercontinental gold is not on the line here. The weirdness of this angle is just too much for me. Like, they're outright saying that this is a fake Diesel, and complaining about what a rip off it is... but then still saying stuff like, "Big Daddy Cool Diesel is facing the Intercontinental champion" with a straight face. It's like if Alec Baldwin walked into the White House, and everyone just started treating him like he's actually the president. Diesel pounds him into the corner (throwing in plenty of hair flips, in a nice touch), but Mero fights him off with jabs, and sends him over the top with a dropkick. Marc dives after him with a tope suicida, and a slingshot splash gets him two on the way back in. Criss cross sees Diesel press-drop Mero across the top rope, and he hits the champion with a straddling ropechoke. Big boot nearly takes Marc's head off, and Diesel takes him into the corner for some abuse. Give it to him though, Glenn Jacobs does a much better job of working like Kevin Nash than Rick Bognar does of working like Scott Hall. And speaking of him, 'Razor' appears on split screen to cut a promo from the back, as Diesel hits a sidewalk slam. Cross corner whip rattles Mero, but he manages to counter a side suplex with a double-underhook cradle anyway, so Diesel drills him with a clothesline. Bodyslam sets up an elbowdrop, but Marc dodges, and starts making a comeback, as Razor shows up at ringside. Mero spots him, and decides to dive after him before any shenanigans start, but that just ignites the shenanigans, and Razor runs in for the DQ at 6:39. In a vacuum, taken purely for the wrestling, this was actually a pretty decent match. * ¼
Undertaker is still hanging out at the cemetery. At least when they were building the Yokozuna match in '94, he was building an actual casket for the match with his time. Why is he spending weeks digging a grave that isn't even going to be the grave that ends up in the arena anyway? Like, what's the point? Also, how fucking long does it take to dig a hole? He's been there for weeks now!
Sycho Sid has something special to say to Goldust
Get your WWF superstar themed denim shirts for only $50 (plus shipping), if you never want to sleep with anyone again. Also, FIFTY DOLLARS?!? With inflation, that's approximately $80 in 2019 dollars. Before shipping. Who the fuck would drop that kind of coin on this shit? And, honestly, only super fans would spend that much on something like this, so if they were able to sell large quantities of those, you'd think that their overall business would be on fire. Which it decidedly was not
Mr. Perfect returns to action to take on Hunter Hearst Helmsley, two weeks from tonight. Or not
The Smoking Gunns v The New Rockers: The Gunns (especially Billy) are all broken up about losing Sunny here. Do you blame them? Billy starts with Leif Cassidy, but he's all distracted because his mind's on Sunny, so Cassidy dominates him. Tags all around, and Marty Jannetty grabs Bart Gunn in a headlock, then counters a press-slam attempt with a rollup for two. Cradle gets two, and a backslide gets two, so Billy demands to tag back in. He beats on Marty in the corner, and drops him with a clothesline before passing back to Bart to work a wristlock. Jannetty slaps him across the face, triggering a chase on the outside, but it's a ploy to set up a sneak attack from Cassidy. That allows the Rockers to take control, and they work Bart over. Billy takes a cheap shot at Jannetty to turn the tide, and the Gunns double up, but they're having all kinds of communication issues (in kayfabe). Billy misses a charge and takes a bump to the outside to allow the tag to Cassidy, and he comes in hot, but gets nailed with another cheap shot from Billy, and the Sidewinder finishes at 9:01. Not the best, as both teams were playing heels, and the work was really clunky. The Gunns as heels is a weird enough dynamic in general, but the Gunns as heels working like they're having communication issues is a fucking dumpster fire. ½*
And now, for an update on the scandal that ROCKED the WWF, as we get reintroduced to Roadie - now going as Jesse James, the 'Real Double J.' Apparently, WWF Officials have been investigating Jarrett's performance at In Your House II for the last fifteen months. Really?! Also, why? That seems like a weird use of resources. Oh, and Jeff won't comment because he 'slithered away from the spotlight' after that night, so we're just pretending he didn't return in late '95, and do a brief feud with Ahmed Johnson, I guess. This whole thing is pretty (unintentionally) funny, as they do a whole postmortem on the performance and match at In Your House II in the style of Behind the Music - complete with Jesse saying things like 'but it was actually the beginning of the end' and 'and then it all came crashing down.' I guess I get what they're going for with all of this, but running a super serious, multi-part series on the 'scandal' no one even knew existed a few weeks ago is a bit much
Backstage, Goldust prepares for his match with Sid by rubbing himself. Hey, whatever gets the blood flowing and the muscles warmed up, I guess
This past weekend on LiveWire, Vince McMahon made all sorts of shootish comments about Bret Hart, Jim Ross, and even Ted Turner, while Jim Cornette looked at porn
And speaking of Jim Ross and Jim Cornette, it's time (it's time) for an in-ring interview with Vader (time). What I'm not getting is why Vader even needs to beat Sid at In Your House to become top contender? He beat Shawn last week, he beat Shawn at International Incident, and the SummerSlam match had all sorts of controversy - why does he need to jump through ANOTHER hurdle to get a shot? But, at least Cornette actually says just that, instead of insulting our intelligence by pretending otherwise
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Next week, WWF Champion Shawn Michaels faces Steve Austin
Sultan v Aldo Montoya: Bob Backlund joins the commentary team for this one. Sultan throws Aldo around to start, so Montoya starts sticking and moving. Sultan blocks a rollup, so Aldo uses a pair of dropkicks instead, but Sultan blocks a sunset flip. Sultan with a headbutt and a belly-to-bell suplex, as Backlund goofs around on commentary. Sultan with a bodyslam and a corner whip, as this thing just drags on. Bridging saito suplex gets two, but then Sultan just slaps on the camel clutch right away from there to win the
Mankind is also still at the cemetery. He and Undertaker both need to put their differences aside, and just, like, do a puzzle together, or something
The Playstation Slam of the Week is Mr. Perfect hitting the PerfectPlex on various jobbers
Goldust v Sycho Sid: 'Razor Ramon' watches Goldust's entrance on a monitor in the dressing room, apparently ready to rekindle the feud. Now I'm actually starting to feel bad for the guy. Like, at first, it was being presented like Ross messing with the fans because he's bitter. But now, this guy seems to actually believe that he really is Razor Ramon! He likely needs the help of a mental health professional, and we should all stop making jokes. Goldust attacks from behind, and hits a clothesline right away, followed by a fistdrop. Into the corner for a ten-punch count, but Sid shrugs off the blitz, and throws a few clotheslines of his own. Powerbomb, but Goldust manages to bail to the outside to save himself, and Marlena tries a distraction. Sid actually OUTSMARTS THEM, but Goldust manages to reverse a suplex into the ropes to take control. He hammers Sid for a bit, but the big guy largely ignores it, so Goldust tries a facebuster. That gets some traction, as Jim Cornette shows up to sit in on commentary. Goldust with a powerslam for two, but Sid wins a slugfest, and drops him with a chokeslam. Powerbomb and goodnight at 4:29. This was barely a match, let alone a main event. Afterwards, Vader runs in to attack, but Sid is already all pumped up from all the no-selling he did for Goldust, and no-sells Vader as well. ¾*
BUExperience: This was not a good show in any traditional sense (as should be obvious when the highlight features fake Diesel), but it was a breezy watch. One thing the WWF did well during this period is masking their weaknesses by throwing just so much at you that you felt like a ton was going on, even when very little actually was.
Monday
Night Wars Rating Chart
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|
10/7/96
|
|
|
Show
|
RAW
|
Nitro
|
|
Rating
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2.1
|
3.5
|
|
Total Wins
|
17
|
32
|
|
Win Streak
|
|
15
|
|
Better Show (as of 9/30)
|
12
|
34
|
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