WWE Starrcade (December 2019)

 

Original Airdate: December 1, 2019

From Duluth, Georgia; Your Hosts are Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton

Well, since this is 'Starrcade' we naturally have to open with something something featuring Ric Flair. In this case that something being the Kevin Owens Show. I get that he's a legend, and I loved him as much back in the day as anyone, but even watching Ric walk down the aisle these days feels embarrassing. He just seems like such a mark for himself. This leads to Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson coming out to interrupt, which in turn leads to the Street Profits also coming out, and we have our first match - with Flair in the Street Profit corner

Opening Match: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson v Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford: Karl and Ford start, and Montez is all about using speed to stick and move in the early going. Tag to Dawkins for a shoulderblock for two (In 2019? Really?), and a dropkick gets two. I guess they're going for that classic Starrcade feel. Back to Ford with his own dropkick for two, but he fails to cut the ring in half, and Gallows tags in. Superkick sends Ford to the outside, and inside, the heels cut the ring in half on him. Ford fights Gallows off with a leg-feed enzuigiri to allow the hot tag to Dawkins, and Roseanne Barr the door! Dawkins runs wild, but gets overwhelmed fighting a two front war, and Anderson hits a spinebuster for two. Side suplex/neckbreaker combo gets the heels two, so they set up the Magic Killer, but Ford runs in to stop it from happening. Gallows gets dumped for a plancha, and a flying frogsplash on Anderson finishes at 8:46. This was fine, but totally paint by numbers. *

WWE Women's Tag Team Title Fatal Four-Way Match: The Kabuki Warriors v Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair v Bayley and Sasha Banks v Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross: First fall wins. The entrances take forever here. Kairi Sane starts with Cross, and they take turns spanking themselves, since apparently that's a thing now. And that's actually literally all they do before Bayley and Charlotte tag in. Charlotte also spanks herself, but Bayley doesn't want to play, so Asuka tags in instead. This match is weird. This combo finally gets us past the self-spanking, and Asuka dominates a criss cross, but Flair hair tosses her. Flair with chops and a fallaway slam to set up the Figure Four, but Asuka blocks, and Banks tags herself in off of Charlotte. Asuka quickly fights her off with a dropkick, but misses a hip attack, and Cross tags herself in to schoolgirl Sasha for two. Small package gets two, and speaking of 'small packages,' Alexa tags in. Crowd loves her. She dominates Banks, but Cross fails to hold up her end, and ends up getting pounded in the Boss 'n' Hug corner. We get Bayley and Becky next, with Lynch dominating with armdrags, and holding an armbar for a bit. Banks responds by helping out with some cheating, and she and Bayley work Becky over in their corner. This match is really hard to get into since they just tag in and out every two seconds, and they aren't building any heat on anyone, or even particularly telling any sort of story. They finally settle into all working Alexa over, but there's still no real story being told, other than that Alexa is really nice to look at for extended periods, I guess. Asuka starts spanking herself again, allowing Bliss to fight her off, and stupid Alexa is fighting for a tag to Becky instead of her own partner for some reason. Stupid reason. Like, seriously, Nikki is as far as Becky. Go for Nikki! You can't win this match if she's not legal. Lynch gets said stupid tag, and Roseanne Barr the door, we've got a kettle on! Everyone eats suplexes from Becky, and a 2^nd rope legdrop on Sane gets two. Cross steals a tag and dives at both Warriors with a flying bodypress, but Banks breaks the cover on Asuka at two. Everyone trades moves from there, until Asuka hits Becky with a German suplex to set up a flying elbowdrop from Sane - only to have Flair spear them both to prevent a cover. She tries the same on Cross, but wipes out with a miss in the corner (taking a nasty bump on the head in the process), and Asuka traps Cross in the Asuka-Lock at 13:25. This didn't really tell any kind of story, and just felt like a bunch of stuff thrown at the wall, with very little sticking. *

Main Event: Bobby Lashley v Kevin Owens: This is supposed to be Lashley against Rusev in a Last Man Standing match, but Tim Allen wanted too much to make an appearance, so we get this instead. They should have went back to Jonathan Taylor Thomas again. Also because Lashley and Lana have a restraining order against Rusev, and so he can't appear. Seems like something he should have thought about that before signing the match, but whatever. Owens with a superkick and a Cannonball right away, but Lashley manages to block the stunner, and he bails. Owens follows for a brawl on the floor, and he hits a somersault senton off of the apron. Kevin tries to take it back inside, but Bobby wants absolutely none of that, and makes Owens chase him again. That allows Lashley to trip him up, and Kevin eats post to turn the tide. Inside, Bobby ropechokes him, as Lana stands around looking like an absolute smoke show. Lashley works him over in dull fashion, and yo, Kevin's hope spots need work. He's no Bret Hart, let's say that. Lashley misses a corner charge to allow Owens to get to the top for a flying somersault senton splash, and he hustles back up with a flying frogsplash for two. Stunner looks to finish, but Lana distracts the referee to prevent a count, and Owens of course takes the bait. Since babyfaces always have to be morons in WWE. That allows Lashley a spinebuster for two, so Lana passes him a chair to finish the job, but Rusev runs in from the crowd for the DQ at 9:30 before he can use it. I was pretty bored with this. ½*

BUExperience: This was really boring and totally unnecessary. Skip it.

DUD