WWF Superstars (May 30, 1992)

Original Airdate: May 30, 1992 (taped April 29)

From Syracuse, New York; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Mr. Perfect

The Legion of Doom v Kato and Rich Mitchell: They're still working really hard to get 'Legion of Sissies' over as a thing. Honestly, it would have been a lot more effective if they found an insulting word that started with 'D.' Like, Legion of Dorks, or something. Not that it would have sparked the next boom period with that change, but it might have gotten over just a little better. I dunno, why am I even analyzing this? Doomsday Device finishes Mitchell at 1:48. LOD squashes are always reliably energetic. ½*

Gene Okerlund reviews Papa Shango's dark magic attacks on Ultimate Warrior

Papa Shango v Brian Brieger: No match, as Shango goes into a trance before the bell, until suddenly the lights die, and Brieger's boots burst into flame. And you should hear the shrieks of absolute TERROR from the people in the crowd! It all sounds very silly... and it is very silly... but man, Charles Wright was so absolutely committed to this character that it worked. I can certainly tell you he scared the shit out of me as a kid. Like, I got into watching around 1994, but I'd hear about Papa Shango on the schoolyard, or read about him in old magazines or see old videos, and I remember being really glad that he wasn't around anymore, because he was scary as fuck. And, of course, it's always scarier when you build it up in your mind, but needless to say, Papa Shango loomed large to young me

Tatanka won't take no disrespect

Repo Man is... still around

Sgt. Slaughter v Bob Bradley: Speaking of 'still around,' here's Sgt. Slaughter. And you know he's getting old because Bradley actually dominates him in the early going. Still hard to believe that he's just a year removed from being world champion and in the top program. Like, this dude headlined a SummerSlam just nine months before this! Cobra clutch finishes at 1:38. DUD

The WBF Championship is coming soon! And it will feature cows, apparently. I wouldn't watch that shit for free (and you can, I think it's on YouTube), hard to believe they were actually selling this as a pay per view! I guess Barnum was right

Rick Martel v Jim Powers: Martel is still flashing Tatanka's feathers here, which may count as disrespect. And Tatanka literally just told us that he don't take no disrespect! Quick, somebody tell Martel. Of course, he also don't take no action, as I don't think he actually went after Martel until Survivor Series. Rick with the Boston Crab at 1:51. Another nothing squash. Vince notes that he'd like to see those feathers crammed down Martel's throat, which frankly also sounds like disrespect. Like, Martel stole Tatanka's family heirloom, and Vince thinks the appropriate course of action is to desecrate it further? DUD

The Nasty Boys are ready to desecrate in their pants

Undertaker is pretty low-key about the whole attempted murder thing by Berzerker. I mean, he pretty explicitly threatens to kill Berzerker, but he doesn't seem too worked up about it. Probably good for his overall emotional wellbeing, good for him

The Natural Disasters v Duane Gill and Mike Fury: Fury's actually a pretty big guy, I'm surprised they never tried to do anything with him. I mean, he doesn't look especially impressive in the ring, but that's never stopped them before. This is actually a really slow squash, as the Disaster's just plod around forever. Earthquake Splash/Tidal Wave combo finishes Fury at 2:57. This felt endless. DUD

Big Boss Man v Dave Roulette: That fake laugh of Vince's should annoy the hell out of me, but it's like the soundtrack of my youth, and I can't get enough of it. Yuk it up, McMahon! Boss Man Slam wraps things up in a brisk 1:06. Afterwards, Boss Man continues to brutalize the poor jobber, until Nailz runs out of the crowd to make the save! Oh, wait, Nailz is the heel? Seemed like a pretty babyface-ish move. But, if you weren't sure, boy do they make certain you get it, as Nailz delivers an extended and graphic beating to Boss Man with the nightstick. I mean, it just goes on and on, with Boss Man cuffed to the ropes and totally defenseless. And man, these officials suck! Like, a dude runs in from the crowd, and can just beat on a wrestler for five minutes without interference? And then, when they finally bother to show up, they just protest from the floor until the guy decides to stop! No wonder none of the wrestlers respect them! Can't say this wasn't an effective debut, that much is for sure. And Boss Man does a stretcher job to really sell it. Sadly, the character never really lived up to the power of this debut segment, and they waited way too long to finally get to the blowoff (November at Survivor Series), by which point all the hype and mystery surrounding Nailz had long faded. DUD

Berzerker v Glen Ruth: The announcers totally ignore this match in favor of talking about Nailz. Sorry, Berzerker, you're just as good as your last attempted murder, pal. And at the rate they seem to occur at on this program, you're not good for long. Berzerker dumps Ruth over the top for the countout win at 2:07. Is that really Headbanger Thrasher? Dude's look changed A LOT in five years. DUD

Crush is making pancake jokes

Sgt. Slaughter wishes Mountie would just kill him. Hey bud, this is WWF Superstars in 1992! If Mountie won't, someone else will. Don't lose hope!

WWF Intercontinental Champion Bret Hart is holding that title belt like it's the love of his life. No wonder all the gold plating came off of it! And, you know, that his wife left him

BUExperience: The Nailz debut is pretty memorable, everything else less so. These continue to be fun, but they are definitely getting a tad bit repetitive, and they really need at least one competitive/feature match to make them go down easier.