WWE Extreme Rules (April 2010)

Original Airdate: April 25, 2010

 

From Baltimore, Maryland; Your Hosts are Michael Cole, Matt Striker, and Jerry Lawler

 

Opening Gauntlet Match: The Hart Dynasty v Big Show and Miz v Montel Vontavious Porter and Mark Henry v John Morrison and R-Truth: Miz and Morrison start, and Miz pounds him down, but misses a clothesline, allowing John an armdrag. Tag to Truth for a tandem hiptoss, and he adds a splash for two. Miz tags out, and Show uses his ample size to knock Truth around. Back to Miz to work a chinlock, but Truth escapes, and both guys tag - Roseanne Barr the door! Show goes for a chokeslam on Morrison, but John counters with a triangle choke - only for Show to fall into the ropes. That should be a break, but John doesn't comply with the official's instructions, and Morrison is disqualified at 3:12. MVP runs in on the battered Show, but a big boot misses, allowing Miz to tag in... and immediately get clobbered by MVP for two. Suplex gets Porter another two, and he passes to Henry to bash Miz with a headbutt. Avalanche, but Miz dodges, though Show is still selling the choke from earlier, and isn't home for the tag. That allows MVP to tag back in, and the Ballin' elbowdrop gets two. Playmaker looks to finish, but Show saves with a knockout punch, and Miz pins Porter at 5:38. Hart Dynasty are the last in (led out by Bret Hart, waving them on like it’s WrestleMania IX), and they immediately nail Miz with the Hart Attack at 6:18. This felt really, really, really rushed. Like even 1999 Vince Russo would be telling them to cool it. ¼*

 

Hair Match: CM Punk v Rey Mysterio: The fact that Rey's mask is not on the line against Punk's hair should tell you what you need to know about how this is going to end. Punk pounds him down in the corner to start, but Rey fights back with a dropkick, and uses a headscissors takedown. 619, but Punk counters to the GTS, only for Rey to block. Punk responds with a powerslam for two, and he chucks Rey to the outside for Serena to abuse. Punk with a slingshot somersault senton splash for two on the way back in, and he works a headscissors, but Rey escapes. Punk tries a sunset flip, but Rey rolls through into a seated roundhouse kick for two, so Luke Gallows takes a cheap shot to allow Punk a cover for two. Backbreaker gets two, so he works a Mexican surfboard, but Rey topples him for two. Punk cuts him off again with a clothesline for two, and a trio of legdrops get two. Punk works a gory special, but Rey escapes, so Punk tries a powerbomb, but Rey rides him down for two. Rey goes up with a dive, but Punk crotches him, and grabs him for the GTS, but Rey blocks. 619, but Serena trips him up to stop the effort, so the referee ejects her - and Gallows for good measure. Rey blasts Punk with a baseball slide as CM protests the call on the outside, and Mysterio adds a springboard moonsault press on the floor. Rey with a springboard flying legdrop for two on the way back inside, and a springboard flying seated senton connects, but a third springboard gets blocked with a dropkick to the gut for two. Punk with a springboard flying clothesline for two, but Rey counters the GTS with a rana into a cradle for two. Punk blasts him with a roundhouse kick as they get back to a vertical base, however, and he hooks the leg for two. Knee in the corner misses, allowing Rey the 619, but a masked man shows up - giving Rey a powerbomb on the floor before disappearing under the ring. Punk drags him in, and the GTS ends it at 15:56. This was okay, though not really any better than the WrestleMania match, despite having ample extra time to work with. **

 

Strap Match: JTG v Shad Gaspard: JTG goes at him at the bell, but Shad quickly fights him off, and makes three corners before JTG cuts him off with the strap. JTG unloads with it, and then dives off the middle with a leg lariat, allowing him a few corners before Shad cuts him off. Shad uses the strap to pull him into the post, and he unloads with it, before tying his former partner up to drag. So, of course, Shad drags him to the corners, with JTG hitting them all along the way while being dragged as well, before diving past Shad to hit the fourth one himself at 4:40. DUD

 

World Heavyweight Title Extreme Rules Match: Jack Swagger v Randy Orton: Swagger dominates on the mat in the early going, and that just goes on and on and on with Orton barely getting a word in edgewise for five minutes. Swagger with a vertical suplex and a belly-to-belly suplex for two, and a side suplex follows. Jack tosses him into the post through the buckles, and he grabs the title belt, but Randy blocks a shot. You'd think that would lead to Orton getting some offense in after over seven minutes of abuse, but nope, Swagger quickly cuts him off with another suplex. Bodyslam follows, but Orton blocks the pump-splash by using the title belt as a weapon, and he finally makes a comeback. Powerslam gets him two, but Jack counters the rope-hung DDT by backdropping him over the top. Swagger follows to abuse him with a trashcan, but that backfires on him in rather dramatic fashion, and Orton adds some smashes into the announce table for good measure. That was a nice sequence, they made all the weapon shots look good. More realistic carnage as Orton puts his head on the steps and stomps away, and he delivers a Garvin stomp on the way back inside. Kneedrop misses, allowing Swagger to grab a chair, but Randy kicks it away from him, and delivers the rope-hung DDT. He sets up an RKO onto a chair, but Swagger slams him onto it to block, and a gutwrench powerbomb retains at 13:59. Surprisingly slow and dull. ¾*

 

Street Fight: Triple H v Sheamus: Sheamus comes at him with a pipe right at the bell, but HHH sidesteps the blow, and clotheslines him over the top. Hunter chases with a tackle on the floor, and he smashes Sheamus into the announce table, then the barricade. Hunter with a rotating spinebuster on the way back in, but Sheamus counters the Pedigree with a clothesline, and HHH wisely bails. Sheamus is right on him with another clothesline on the floor, and he sends Hunter into the barricade a few times for good measure. Inside, Sheamus delivers mounted punches, and a pair of kneedrops get him two. Sheamus unloads in the corner, and he works a crossface chickenwing, but HHH escapes via side suplex. He bails, but Sheamus is right on him again, this time with a neckbreaker on the floor. Inside, Sheamus uses a scrap backbreaker for two, and a running powerslam is worth two. He grabs the pipe again, but Hunter blocks with a kneeling facebuster - only for Sheamus to rebound with the pipe for two. Crucifix powerbomb, but Hunter backdrops him over the top, so Sheamus grabs a kendo stick, but HHH blocks a blow with a drop-toehold into the steps. Hunter unloads with the stick out there, but Sheamus counters a Pedigree on the ramp with a backdrop. Sheamus with a Brogue Kick on the way back in, but no cover. Instead he lets Hunter get to his feet, just so he can have the pleasure of drilling him with two more at 15:48. Another draggy one tonight, that fell short of their WrestleMania match. *

 

WWE Women's Title Extreme Makeover Match: Michelle McCool v Beth Phoenix: The gimmick here is that they have all sorts of home goods to use as weapons. Beth gets a rollup for two early on, and she dives off the middle with a clothesline for two, so McCool bails. Beth chases her, so Layla tries attacking with a broom, but Beth chases her off. That does allow McCool to recover, however, and she sprays Beth in the eyes with hairspray to blind her. McCool brings an ironing board in to whack her with for two, and then covers her over with it for a double stomp. McCool works a bodyscissors, but an attempt to hit her with an iron gets messed up, and Beth schoolgirls for two. McCool cuts her off and uses the ironing board again for a seated dropkick in the corner for two, but another try at the hairspray ends up hitting Layla, and Beth slams the champ onto a table. Inside, Beth unloads with a mop bucket for two, and she actually does the big shocked face over that not getting the pin. It's a hollow plastic bucket! Beth tries a superplex, but Layla interferes again, and McCool shoves her challenger off the ropes for two. But then Beth just Glam Slams her for the belt anyway at 6:34. Why wouldn't Layla just run in right there? They probably should have saved the 'accidentally blinded by hairspray' bit for the finish. ¼*

 

Cage Match: Edge v Chris Jericho: Jericho stalls on the outside, so Edge baseball slide into him, and forces him into the ring to start the match. Edge unloads on him in the corner, but a catapult ends badly when Jericho lands on the ropes, and starts climbing! Edge cuts off the escape and slams him off the top rope, and Chris eats some steel. Jericho fights him off and snaps his throat under the bottom rope with a catapult, then delivers a side suplex for two. Charge, but Edge blocks by backdropping him into the cage, and Edge comes back with a flapjack. Sitout facebuster is worth two, but Jericho fights back with a one-handed bulldog, and he climbs for the escape, but Edge cuts him off at the top. They slug it out on the top rope, but Jericho gets the better of it, and applies the Walls on the mat! Nice transition there. Edge makes the ropes, but that's meaningless in a cage match (this week, anyway), though Edge is able to scale up the ropes to leverage a break. Edge-o-Matic gets him two, but Chris counters the implant DDT with the Walls - only for Edge to block. Edge delivers a big boot, but Chris dives for the door to avoid the spear - Edge narrowly able to stop him. Jericho buys time by slamming the door on his head, and he has this thing won, but turns back while out on the steps, deciding he wants to deliver more punishment first. I hate shit like that. So Chris swings with a chair, but Edge ducks, and delivers a spear for two. Jericho comes back with a Codebreaker for two, so he tries to climb, but Edge chases him. He manages to pull Chris back in, but ends up getting crotched on the top rope for his efforts. That allows Jericho to get up and over the top of the cage, but Edge hustles in time to pull him back in again. Jericho buys time with a springboard Codebreaker for two, and he grabs the chair to kill him off with, but his big shot misses. That allows Edge to toss him into the cage a few times, so Jericho tries a climb, but Edge cuts him off. He starts going to town on the leg to prevent any more quick escape attempts, and the spear finishes at 19:59. This show has been a timekeepers dream. It felt like they were really into this as workers, but I wasn't feeling it at all. * ¼

 

Main Event: WWE Title Last Man Standing Match: John Cena v Batista: Both men very cautious in the early going, measuring each other. Cena dominates that, so Batista grabs himself a chair, but John dodges a swing, and bulldogs his challenger down. Suplex follows, but Batista beats the count, and pounds John down to take his own count. We're three minutes into this, are we really supposed to believe that simple suplexes and clotheslines are going to incapacitate these guys? Batista keeps dominating him with really basic stuff that Cena is selling like he's been in a car wreck, and he works a figure four, but Cena reverses. None of this goes anywhere. Double knockout spot gives us a completely drama-free bit where both guys fight to beat the count, and Cena makes a comeback. Five Knuckle Shuffle leads to the Attitude Adjustment, but Batista bails before John can execute it. Cena chases, but Batista fights him off with a wrench. He stalks John in with it, but Cena fights him off with an AA on a chair. Batista beats the count, so Cena looks for a dive off the top, but the challenger shoves the referee into the ropes to knock John off. That allows Batista a spear, but Cena beats the count, so Batista gives him a second one. Cena beats that, so Batista leans a table up in the corner and puts John through it, but the champ beats the count yet again. He bails, but Batista is on him for a whip into the barricade, and the challenger sets up a Batista Bomb through the announce table, but John counters by backdropping him through it. Batista beats the count and puts Cena through another table in the ring, but John gets vertical, so Batista Bomb's him. Cena beats it and uses an STF that goes nowhere, so he decides to literally duct tape Batista to the post, and apparently that's a perfectly legal way to consider him down for the count at 24:33. This was mind numbingly boring at points, and worse, felt like it was frequently insulting our intelligence. The finish in particular was horrendously bad, as the whole point of this gimmick has always been to beat your opponent so he can't continue, and here Batista was still totally alive and kicking, and basically lost by getting tricked. DUD

 

BUExperience: Most of the matches are lesser versions of their WrestleMania counterparts, and none of the fresh matches were any good either. Don’t waste your time.

 

DUD