WWF Superstars (February 20, 1993)

Original Airdate: February 20, 1993 (taped January 25)

 

From San Jose, California; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Jerry Lawler

 

Razor Ramon v Buddy Wayne: Lawler gets a funny line in about Brutus Beefcake's return on the past episode of RAW, noting that he'd thought he'd switched over to a hockey game because it was a 'face off.' Oh, King. Never change. The WWF's presentation really was unmatched in those days. Scott Hall in WCW looked like another guy. Razor Ramon in the WWF looked like a star - even in the land of giants. Razor's Edge finishes at 2:02. DUD

 

Gene Okerlund is in the control center to talk about all the Brutus Beefcake/Money Inc drama over the last few weeks. Beefcake looked so out of place, even by 1993. Time moved a lot faster back then. He'd been out less than three years, and already it felt like he was from an entirely different era. See also: Ultimate Warrior in 1996. Gene has an update on Beefcake's condition following the brutal attack on RAW, and apparently it's not so bad, they just dislodged some of the plates and screws holding his face together. Oh, just? That's basically a paper cut!

 

Mr. Perfect v Bobby Young: Lawler, of course, is still having a field day with Beefcake's misfortune. And, frankly, if Beefcake's face is so fragile that he can't take a little steel briefcase to the head once in a while without falling apart like paper mache than he should probably stick to doing interviews. Perfectplex finishes at 2:18. This felt unfocused, since they were talking about Beefcake the whole time, instead of using the time to hype up his issue with Lex Luger. DUD

 

Yokozuna is ready to eat Bret Hart's dick like it's the Catalina Wine Mixer

 

WWF Champion Bret Hart has fingers

 

Bam Bam Bigelow v Earthquake: They have a fats mcgats showdown to start, complete with blubber. Bigelow wins, but a cross corner whip backfires when Earthquake rebounds with a bodyblock - extra fatty! Earthquake with a bodyslam to set up an elbowdrop, but Bam Bam dodges, and side suplexes him. Bigelow with puts the boots to him ahead of a second side suplex, but a headbutt drop misses, and Earthquake makes a comeback - full of piss and partially-hydrogenated oil. Avalanche misses, causing Earthquake to take bump to the outside, and Bigelow gets the countout win at 4:04. DUD

 

Kamala v Mike Starr: Did all the jobbers get paid of hair bleach this week? They certainly weren't getting paid in gym memberships, that's for sure. Kamala is looking all fired up about his new babyface role, but Kimchee shows up, and Kamala quickly gets distracted. Luckily, Starr fucking sucks, so he can't capitalize, and Reverend Slick is able to get him back on track. Splash finishes at 2:23. I'm tempted to bump up the rating for how enthusiastically Randy Savage is about Kamala rolling him over for the pin. DUD

 

Debra Duggan (wife of Jim Duggan) is at home (which is apparently a life sized doll house, by the looks of things), and she's very concerned about Hacksaw getting injured by Yokozuna, especially since she's pregnant. I mean, if she wasn't, fuck him, let him get crushed. But with a baby on the way, she doesn't love the idea of him waging some sort of one-man war again Japan. Though, really, if your husband is walking around talking about wanting to wage a one-man war against anyone, it might be time to rethink some things

 

Gene is in the studio with the WrestleMania Report. Mr. Perfect/Lex Luger is announced, as well as the Steiner Brothers/Headshrinkers. The card is almost full formed at this point, though still no mention of Hulk Hogan. Though, he will be on hand this Monday night on RAW

 

Undertaker v Raven Clark: It's weird, because all the footage of Giant Gonzalez lumbering around the ring makes him look slow and terrible, but yet Undertaker moves at roughly the same speed, and somehow he looks more intimidating doing it, despite being a foot shorter. Tombstone finishes at 1:22. DUD

 

Crush needs your money to help put a Headlock on Hunger

 

WWF Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels sounds like he needs a fix

 

Undertaker is ready to kill Giant Gonzalez for being brave, or something. Pretty sure this kind of pre-meditation makes this full on first degree murder that he's promising to deliver on pay per view. And they said Vegas got too soft in the 90s

 

Doink wants Big Boss Man to loosen up. Offer the man some stool softener! Don't just stand there, you clown

 

Big Boss Man is happy being constipated. Leave him be

 

BUExperience: Nothing of consequence this week, and the feature match sucked, but good to see the card for WrestleMania fill out well in advance, which should give us some better stuff in the weeks to come.