WWF Coliseum Video Collection: Hottest Matches (1990) (Version II)

WWF Coliseum Video Collection: Hottest Matches (1990)

 

Coliseum Video compilation. The front cover of the tape features Tito Santana holding an armbar, and nothing says ‘RENT ME’ quite like half of Strike Force working a resthold. Not even tits

 

Sean Mooney hosts from in the studio, and the theme is that he's getting closer and closer to hell with each passing match. But it's PG, so they just say that he's going to WCW

 

Tito Santana v Rick Martel: From Prime Time Wrestling on April 16 1990 (taped April 4) in Glens Falls New York. Ooh, they're wasting no time in making good on that armbar promise! Weird set up in the arena here, as they didn't take the hockey glass down. Or, maybe they're just trying to be COVID safe. Some feeling out to start, with Martel cheating his way to landing a dropkick. Turnbuckle smash works, but Santana reverses him into the ropes, and a hiptoss leads to a pair of dropkicks, putting Rick on the outside. Martel stalls out there, so Santana brings him in the hard way, and Rick misses a knee in the corner to injure the part. Tito goes to work on it, and frankly fuck off, armbar or death! Figure four looks to finish, but Martel goes to the eyes to block, and a snapmare allows Rick a pair of pointed elbowdrops. Rick snaps him under the bottom rope with a catapult, and a bodyslam sets up a dive, but Tito crotches him up there, then knocks him off. Santana makes a comeback, so Martel tries a 2^nd rope bodypress, but Santana ducks, and covers for two. Inside cradle gets two, and a backdrop leads to El Paso, but it knocks Martel to the outside. Rick gets hold of his cologne out there, and he blinds Tito on the way back in, then hooks the leg at 9:37. This was fine, though I'm tempted to deduct points for the lack of armbar. Someone should sue for whatever remains of this Coliseum outfit. * ½ (Original rating: *)

 

Back in the studio, Mooney looks like he's been straight buttfuckin' outrageous

 

We get segment on the history of the WWF Tag Team Title, starting with Demolition beating Strike Force for them at WrestleMania IV, and then jumping ahead to the Colossal Connection winning them on Superstars in December 1989, completely skipping over the Brain Busters' reign in between. Then over to the changes at WrestleMania VI and SummerSlam '90. This wasn't a great segment, but it was something I would have ate up as a kid, back when it wasn't easy to find clips of these changes. Hell, I don't think I've ever actually seen the Connection's title win even to this day

 

Back in the studio, Mooney is full on Rotunda'ing from the heat

 

The Rockers v The Orient Express: House show action on June 17 1990, in Toronto Ontario Canada. The Express attack before the bell, but the Rockers fight them off, and clean house. Dust settles on Shawn Michaels and Tanaka to start, and a distraction from Sato allows Tanaka to get control with a cheap shot. Marty Jannetty comes in to help, and the Rockers get control with double team action. Marty wins a criss cross with Tanaka, and an armdrag leaves Tanaka in an armbar. The Express cheat to fight him off, however, and they do some illegal switches behind the referee's back. Listening to the commentators talk about what an incredible official Danny Davis is, just a couple of years removed from his heel run, is pretty funny. And without a hint of irony! Marty outsmarts them during a criss cross to allow the tag to Shawn, and Michaels dives in with a flying axehandle, then hits Sato with a swinging neckbreaker for two. Back to Marty for a double team chop for two, and he gives Sato a monkeyflip before running into a cheap shot from Tanaka. The Express go to work on Marty, until he manages the hot tag to Shawn, and Roseanne Barr the door! It spills to the outside, where the Rockers manage to knock them silly, and they steal a countout win at 12:09. Not bad, but a total house show effort. Though, to be fair, it was a house show. * ½ (Original rating: ½*)

 

Back in the studio, Mooney might literally be on fire

 

Greg Valentine v Dusty Rhodes: TV taping dark match from June 27 1989 in Niagara Falls New York. Lots of posturing to start, and Dusty manages to dominate enough that Valentine bails. Greg throws a cheap shot on the way back in, but Rhodes quickly fights him off (well, as quickly as Dusty moves), and unloads. Backelbow sets up an elbowdrop, but Rhodes spends too much time on the theatrics, and Valentine dodges. Greg with a series of chop drops, and works a chinlock, then pounds the worn down Dusty into the corner for a blistering series of chops. Unfortunately for the Hammer, that just fires Rhodes up, and he makes a comeback. Figure four, but Greg blocks, and bootchokes him in the corner. Hammer works the leg a bit, and he sets up his own figure four, but Rhodes counters with a cradle for two. Valentine quickly cuts off another comeback, however, and a series of kneedrops is worth two. Back to the chinlock, but Rhodes fights to a vertical base, and he tries another comeback, but hits Greg's knee on a corner charge. Jimmy Hart tries a cheap shot for good measure, but Ron Garvin shows up to cut him off, and Rhodes hooks Valentine in a (super sloppy) cradle at 10:09. ½* (Original rating: DUD)

 

Back in the studio, Mooney has the balls to tell us that we should spend actual money to buy postcards and stamps so we can write in and ask for more awesome matches like that last one

 

Jake Roberts v Akeem: From Prime Time on June 25 1990 (taped June 6) in Binghamton New York. Jake's tights here are a weird deal, certainly not one of his best. Jake sticks and moves in the early going, but Akeem manages to bail to avoid the DDT, and he regroups on the outside. Back in, Jake works the arm, but Akeem bails to avoid the DDT again, and this time Roberts chases. That allows Slick to interfere, and Akeem blasts Jake to take control. Inside, Akeem with a pair of corner whips to rebound Roberts into a punch, and he squashes him with a straddling ropechoke. More corner whips, until Jake manages to reverse one, but Akeem backdrops his was out of another DDT attempt. Splash, but Roberts dodges, and kicks off a comeback with a short-clothesline. DDT, but this time Slick hooks the ankle to block, and that's a DQ at 6:09. This was really low key, even by this era's standards. DUD (Original rating: –½*)

 

Jake Roberts introduces us to all of his various snakes. Luckily the one from Heroes of Wrestling does not appear

 

Ted DiBiase v Jake Roberts: TV taping dark match on December 14 1989 in Hamilton Ontario Canada. Virgil attacks as Jake steps into the ring, and the idiot official actually rings the bell to start the match while the heels are double teaming him! Well, no wonder they were praising Danny Davis when THIS is who he's up against. No matter, Jake quickly fights them both off, but DiBiase ducks out before taking the DDT, and it's stall time. Ted tries slugging on the way back in, but Jake quickly turns the tables on him, only for DiBiase to bail again ahead of the DDT. More stalling, until a frustrated Jake falls prey to a distraction from Virgil, and DiBiase is able to gain control. I like how they picked two matches that are almost identical to show back-to-back - right down to the detail of the black manager! DiBiase works him over in dull fashion, until Jake manages to escape a gobstopper like front-facelock, and he makes a comeback. The captioning on Peacock apparently thinks an 'atomic drop' is an 'atomic bomb.' Not unless Rick Rude is involved. DDT looks to finish, but Virgil runs in for the DQ at 12:35. Just as boring as the Akeem match, but twice as long! Bonus! DUD (Original rating: -*)

 

Back in the studio, Mooney is farting. Hard

 

Brutus Beefcake v Haku: From Prime Time on August 28 1989 (taped August 9) in Fresno California. Beefcake taunts Bobby Heenan at the bell, so Haku attacks, and unloads in the corner. Beefcake fights him off with a high knee, and a kneelift follows, sending Haku bailing to the outside to regroup. Brutus chases for an atomic drop on the floor, and he rolls Haku back in to corner with a ten-punch count for two. I wonder, was there ever any talk of bringing him in as 'Bobby 'the Bran' Heenan?' Like, a health themed character that shits a lot? Because that would have been money. Haku comes back with a shoulderbreaker for two, and he works a chinlock, but Brutus fights free. Haku cuts him off by going to the eyes, but an elbowdrop misses, and Beefcake mounts a comeback. They botch a backdrop somehow, but a vertical suplex works out for two, and Brutus slaps on the sleeper! Cue Heenan for the run-in, and there's the DQ at 7:10. Boy, people sure tolerated a liberal amount of terrible finishes back in the day, didn't they? ½* (Original rating: DUD)

 

Mooney continues bringing the heat with temperature related puns

 

Manager Profile on Sensational Sherri. Which is less a 'profile' than Sherri just cutting a promo

 

Ted DiBiase v Shawn Michaels: From Prime Time on May 14 1990 (taped April 24) in San Antonio Texas. DiBiase toys with him in the early going, but he eats a dropkick during a criss cross, and Shawn adds another one. Trio of armdrags send Ted to the outside, and he stalls to break the momentum. Inside, DiBiase tries grabbing an armbar, but Michaels whips him into the ropes, and uses a hiptoss. Mat-based headlock follows, so DiBiase tries rolling it into a cradle, but Shawn sinks his teeth in. What's up with this referee blocking Ted's cradle attempts? That's a perfectly legal and legitimate counter. Since he's dealing with incompetence, DiBiase is forced to get into the ropes to escape, but Shawn throws another dropkick at him after the escapes, and takes it back to the mat with another headlock. And again the idiot official is blocking DiBiase's attempts to cradle! And they let this clown referee the main event of WrestleMania III! DiBiase escapes, so Shawn corner whips him, but the charge in hits boot, and Ted delivers a trio of fistdrops. Clothesline gets two, and a backbreaker is worth two. Backelbow sets up a kneedrop for two, so DiBiase grounds him in a chinlock, but Michaels fights free, and hooks a schoolboy for two. Ted quickly pounds him back down, and then dumps Shawn to the outside to let Virgil abuse him, but Marty Jannetty cuts that off. No matter, DiBiase drops Shawn across the guardrail himself, and he suplexes him back in from the apron for two. Chinlock wears Shawn down for two, so Ted tries a piledriver, but Michaels counters with a backdrop. Criss cross results in a double knockout spot, and DiBiase is up first with a bodyslam, but a 2^nd rope backelbow drop misses! That allows Michaels to make a comeback, and he plants a dropkick for two. Swinging neckbreaker sets up a flying fistdrop, but DiBiase gets vertical, so Shawn uses a flying bodypress for two instead. He comes off the ropes with a follow-up, but Virgil trips him up, and DiBiase delivers a clothesline. Virgil tries more interference, but Jannetty comes in to block, and the referee decides to throw the match out at 14:20. Another crappy finish, but both guys came to work. Watching this, you could really see that Shawn was a future singles star, as he had fantastic timing and selling. It's somewhat surprising that they tried him as a heel first when he finally went into the singles division, he was such an effective babyface. ** ½ (Original rating: * ¾)

 

Mooney looks like he's been drinking heavily between takes

 

Power & Glory work out/prepare to fuck each other

 

Mixed Tag Team Match: Randy Savage and Sensational Sherri v Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire: TV taping dark match on June 26 1990 in Huntington West Virginia. Savage has Brother Love in his corner in response to Dusty having Miss Elizabeth, but that seems like a pretty major downgrade. Lots of posturing to start, until things settle on the ladies to start, and Sapphire sweeps Sherri off of her feet. Sherri misses a charge (taking a comical bump in the process), but Sapphire can't keep control after Sherri goes to the eyes, so Dusty comes in to save his lady. Tags to the men, and Macho throws a knee, but Dusty reverses him into the ropes, and elbows him down. Rhodes with a series of elbowsmashes, so Love distracts him, and Savage uses a high knee to send Dusty to the outside. Love abuses him out there before rolling him in for Randy to cover for two, and Savage dives with a flying axehandle for two. Sleeper looks to finish, but Dusty gets fired up after two arm drops, so Savage rakes the eyes. Up for another flying axe, but Rhodes blocks with a gut-punch this time, so Love runs more interference to help Savage keep control. Straddling ropechoke misses, however, so Love tries to attack again, but ends up running into Sherri instead. That allows Rhodes to make a comeback, and he slaps on a sleeper of his own, so Love tries another attack - this time managing to blast Rhodes with Sherri's loaded purse while she distracts the referee. That allows Savage to cover for two, and he tags Sherri to splash him for two. Rhodes quickly passes to Sapphire, but Macho breaks up a pin attempt, and Roseanne Barr the door! Sherri gets hold of the purse, but Liz comes in to prevent her from using it, and Sapphire splashes her for the pin at 9:54. Lots of smoke and mirrors made this work as a sports entertainment deal (to a degree), but it certainly was not workrate classic. ¾* (Original rating: ½*)

 

Mooney signs off by literally masturbating on screen. My spellchecker assumes he’s ‘masquerading.’ Oh, sweet spellchecker. How I envy your innocence

 

BUExperience: There’s some decent stuff, but man, that middle section will drain your will to live.

 

Not a good addition to your Coliseum Collection.