NWA (JCP) World Championship Wrestling (April 5, 1986)

 

Original Airdate: April 5, 1986 (taped March 30)

From Atlanta, Georgia; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone and David Crockett

NWA National Champion Tully Blanchard joins us to make sure Ron Garvin knows he’s not beating Arn Anderson for the NWA Television title today. Not gon’ do it

Wahoo McDaniel v Ray Traylor: Ray still looks like a cross between Rod Farva and Buzz McCallister, but he’s so big that he looks a lot more impressive than Wahoo. It’s no surprise he got a chance, and eventually became a star, especially in the WWF. Wahoo with a knife-edge chop and an elbowdrop at 3:51. State of the art stuff, McDaniel. DUD

NWA United States Champion Magnum TA swings by to continue his slow moving war of words with Nikita Koloff

Nighthawk v Tony Zane: This is Nighthawk’s debut, and one of only two TV matches before he’d be out of the business completely by the end of the year. Nighthawk with a shoulderbreaker at 1:35. Hey, brisk squashes this week. I’m going to have to pay for this with a nine minute Rock ‘n’ Roll Express squash, aren’t I? DUD

Jimmy Garvin and Precious join us with words for Wahoo. ‘Words for Wahoo’ feels like something my wife’s book club might read

Manny Fernandez v Bob Owens: Manny swings by to say… something… on the way out. I’m not being glib, it was in Spanish, no idea what it was. Manny with a jumping forearm at 3:54. I’m telling you, don’t get comfortable. We will pay. DUD

Wahoo is back to respond to Garvin’s comments from earlier. Words for Jimmy - next on PBS

Ron Garvin is out, and he’s going to win the TV title later. Because he’s proud to be an American. Okay, noted

Ivan Koloff v Gene Ligon: The fans chant ‘USA,’ but are they anti-Koloff, or is Ron Garvin just still out there? Because he’s proud to be an American, you know? Probably blasts Born in the USA every morning while brushing his teeth. I mean, I’ve heard. I’ve never actually been in his bathroom. Not while he was brushing his teeth. Nephew Nikita Koloff whacks Gene on the outside, and Ivan puts it away at 6:12. DUD

Dusty Rhodes is out to convince us in his taste in women. As long as he’s not trying to sell us on his taste in clothes, I’m all good. It’s like five different concepts at once!

Hector Guerrero v Carl Styles: Hector looks like if Eddie Guerrero played supporting roles in Jack Horner’s pictures. Which, honestly, would have been the shit. Guerrero with a twisting splash at 6:08. ¼*

Six-Man Tag Team Match: Barbarian, Baron von Raschke, and Pez Whatley: Bill Tabb, Brodie Chase, and Rocky Kernodle: What an odd group this is. Like, wasn’t Baron supposed to be some sort of Nazi? And the announcers talking about how Paul Jones has ‘bought’ Pez feels icky. Pez with a jumping headbutt at 8:32. Dragged on for too long, but it was energetic enough, at least. ¼*

NWA Television Champion Arn Anderson doesn’t slap his gums

Jim Cornette comes out to promise victory for the Midnight Express in the Crockett Cup

The Rock 'n' Roll Express v Larry Clarke and Art Pritts: This better be quick. We already had Ivan and Hector taking their sweet time. I paid enough, John. I paid a lot. I know it was a common type of expression forever, but continually calling the Express ‘the tag team of the 80s’ made them seem all the more out of place when they kept showing up in the 90s. The Express with a combo at 4:45. Well, Phil may still shit a brick, but this was under five minutes, I’ll take it. Afterwards, the Express swing by the desk for their usual. DUD

Magnum TA v Randy Mulkey: The US title is not on the line here. Magnum with his usual brisk squash at 0:25. I like this man. DUD

Paul Jones leads his Army out to declare war on Jimmy Valiant 

NWA Television Title Match: Arn Anderson v Ron Garvin: Arn stalls early on, but manages to get a side-headlock on once engaging. Garvin fights to an overhead wristlock, but Arn quickly counters out into an armbar. Garvin shifts it into a cradle for two, so Arn bails, and forces a chase. He tries clobbering Ron from the high ground, but Garvin catches the leg, and nails him. That allows Ron to get a bow-and-arrow on, but Arn slugs free. Ron responds in kind, and he wins the resulting slugfest, covering for one. Arn sunset cradles for two, but Garvin is right back up, so Anderson bails to break the momentum. Back in, Arn gets a wrislock on, so Garvin starts throwing chops, but Anderson manages to take it to the mat with an armbar. Garvin fights to a sleeper counter, as Tully shows up to do commentary. Arn fights out of the hold, so Garvin nails him with a double stomp, and hooks a small package for two. Garvin with a series of rights to flop the champion, and a vertical suplex follows. A corner whip allows Garvin a backdrop, and he looks to tag Arn with the big knockout punch, but Anderson hits the deck. Arn slows it down with a collar-and-elbow, but the resulting criss cross results in a double knockout. Garvin is drowsy, but manages to get an abdominal stretch on as he tries to get his bearings. But before he can, Tully runs in for the DQ at 12:39. I liked the one from a few weeks earlier better, but this was solid. **

The Midnight Express v Denny Brown and Mike Somaini: The NWA World Tag Team title is not up for grabs, and Cornette is back to slap his gums some more. The Express at 4:30. DUD

Nikita Koloff comes out to rant about Magnum to close the show

BUExperience: You could always reliably count on the star/star match being something good and/or interesting, but man, the bulk of this show is just the most boring squashes in the world.