WWF Championship Wrestling (August 17, 1985)

 

Original Airdate: August 17, 1985 (taped July 30)

From Poughkeepsie, New York; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Bruno Sammartino

The US Express v Tiger Chung Lee and Dave Barbie: The WWF Tag Team title is not on the line here. I like how Vince’s outfits were much more restrained here, letting the color guys wear the loud and colorful clothing. It almost makes me think that they made those colorful blazers for Bruno, and then Vince just took them over after he left (and McMahon grew into them). Barry Windham puts this away with a bulldog at 3:09. DUD

Lord Alfred Hayes is in the studio with Update, giving us a look at Corporal Kirchner’s training. Which basically involved swimming in a pond while holding a knife in his mouth. Lucky they cropped it, I’m pretty sure there was a grandpa fishing in the background, it would really ruin the mystique 

Terry Funk v Paul Roma: Funk is so pleasantly ornery. Terry tries finishing with the spinning toehold, but Roma dumps him over the top to block, and tries to sell us on a comeback, but Funk hooks a sunset flip for two. Bodyslam, but Paul counters to a small package for two, and Funk has had enough. He gives him a neckbreaker, but Paul blocks a second, and manages a pair of bodyslams, before Funk catches him in the sleeper at 2:56. I’m not surprised that Roma eventually became a star, but I am surprised that he never became a bigger star. He seemed like one of those dudes who had ‘it,’ and he could work. ½*

Gene Okerlund catches up with WWF Champion Hulk Hogan, who will be defending his title against King Kong Bundy in Boston. His training routine includes ‘hanging and banging,’ which feels like, at least, 10% more impressive than whatever the hell Kirchner was doing

Tito Santana v Mike Donnatello: The WWF Intercontinental title is not on the line for this. Captain Lou Albano sits in on commentary here, all excited about being in the running for Manager of the Year. But that draws Freddie Blassie out to attack him with his cane, and Lou basically sings a Twisted Sister song in response. Santana with the figure four at 3:20. DUD

Freddie Miller catches up with Uncle Elmer. And his hat. I think Elmer’s been hitting the moonshine, because he thinks he’s facing ‘Johnny ‘the Hammer’ Valentine’

The Dream Team v Lanny Poffo and Gary Starr: Gosh, how many guys named ‘Starr’ were there in the world of professional wrestling? That family tree must rival the Harts and the Anoaʻis. Brutus Beefcake’s gear here looks like it was recycled for Shawn Michaels in 1992. I suddenly feel like mooing, and I just don’t know why. Greg Valentine with the figure four at 2:10. DUD

Roddy Piper hosts Piper’s Pit, with guest Andre the Giant. Roddy offers him a t-shirt as a peace offering, but then blows his nose in it, and Andre chases him off. That doesn’t seem smart. But, I guess, they called him ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper not ‘Brilliant’ Roddy Piper

Don Muraco v Sal Gee: Muraco is a very entertaining character, but the squashes are dull as shit. Don with the tombstone at 2:11. DUD

Randy Savage wants you to work out. Was that, like, a PSA? Because that’s a weird use of Macho at this stage

Junkyard Dog and Ricky Steamboat v Moondog Spot and Steve Lombardi: A lot of tag action this week. Steamboat with a flying bodypress on Lombardi at 1:59. DUD

Miller catches up with Jimmy Hart and the Dream Team, who remind Uncle Elmer what their names are. Might need to repeat them a few more times, he looks pretty dumb

BUExperience: Not a groundbreaking episode, but entertaining enough, and fine. And, every champion appeared, which is something of note in 1985.