WWF St. Valentine's Day Massacre (Version II)

 

Original Airdate: February 14, 1999

From Memphis, Tennessee; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Opening Match: Goldust v Blue Meanie: Goldust attacks before the bell, and hits a spinebuster right away. Goldust with a sitout matslam, and he unloads in the corner. Blue tries a backdrop, but Goldust blocks, so Meanie bails and stalls. Blue manages to get a spinning toehold on after getting back in, but Goldust fights him off. He tries for shattered dreams, but Blue blocks, and dives with a flying moonsault - only for Goldust to dodge. That allows Goldust a curtain call at 3:07. Oh man, this was a total TV match. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

WWF Hardcore Title Match: Bob Holly v Al Snow: This is for the vacant title, after Jesse James got jumped and injured the night before. They brawl into the crowd right away, as Cole notes that Holly is a former Intercontinental and Tag Team champion, but, if he manages to win this belt, it will finally be the thing he needs to break out. He does understand that, just because it’s a winged eagle, it’s not the world title, right? They brawl to the backstage area, and then outside, down by the river. They brawl into the water, and Snow ends up getting wrapped in a section of chainlink fence, and pinned at 9:58. This style was still somewhat unique at this stage in 1999, but man, it has not aged well. ¼* (Original rating: ¼*)

Big Boss Man v Mideon: Mideon grabs a standing side-headlock at the bell, so Boss Man throws him into the ropes, and uses a shoulderblock on the rebound. Boss Man pops him with some punches from there, and he unloads in the corner. They spill to the outside, where Boss Man keeps pounding, as Cole notes that “the Boss Man’s strength is his power.” Noted. Boss Man tries a corner whip, but Mideon reverses, and follows in with a clothesline. That allows Mideon a choke, but Boss Man fights him off, and succeeds with a cross corner whip to set up a corner splash. Boss Man with a straddling ropechoke, and he goes to a full nelson, but Mideon suplexes free. Mideon stays on him with mounted punches, but a criss cross allows Boss Man to catch him with a scrapbuster at 6:19. This was just kind of there. Afterwards, the lights die, and the Ministry of Darkness comes in, and abducts Boss Man. DUD (Original rating: -¼*)

WWF Tag Team Title Match: Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett v D-lo Brown and Mark Henry: Jarrett’s theme at this time slaps. Owen and Mark start, and Hart tries slapping him, but it just serves to really piss Henry off. Mark throws a big clothesline before passing to D-lo, and a reversal sequence allows Hart a bulldog. Tag to Jeff for a dropkick, but a whip into the ropes gets reversed, and Brown delivers a powerslam for two. That draws Hart in, but here comes Henry, and the challengers dominate. That draws Debra McMichael onto the apron to distract Mark, and the champs cool things out. Jeff hits Brown with a single-arm DDT, and he tags Owen for a tandem clothesline, followed by a wishbone. Hart with a cross corner clothesline, and a rotating spinebuster sets up a 2nd rope fistdrop from Jeff. Jeff adds a turnbuckle smash, and he ropechokes D-lo, but misses a straddling version. Hart saves by clotheslining Brown from the apron, and he tags in, but gets a suplex reversed on him. Hart saves things again by hitting a leg-feed enzuigiri for two, and the champs work Brown over, until Owen tries a ten-punch in the corner, but gets dropped with a sitout powerbomb. That allows a tag to Mark, and Roseanne Barr the door! Henry misses an avalanche, but Brown is there to dropkick the champs to keep them from capitalizing. A sitout spinebuster on Jeff gets two, and Brown bodyslams Owen to set up a legdrop. D-lo goes up, so Debra distracts him, but here’s Ivory to neutralize her. Sadly, that pulls Brown’s focus, and Owen is able to hit Henry with a guitar, and Jarrett locks the figure four at 9:17. A solid go here. * ¼ (Original rating: ¼*)

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Ken Shamrock v Val Venis: Billy Gunn acts as the special guest referee for this one. Ken tries attacking to kickstart things, but Val has the high ground, and fights the attempt off. Val with chops in the corner, and a cross corner clothesline finds the mark - twice. That gets a slow two count from Gunn, and Ken fights back with a roundhouse kick. Shamrock unloads in the corner, and a cross corner whip rattles the ring. Ken throws a clothesline, and he tags Val with some more kicks. Despite the intense angle, this is moving very slowly, and the crowd is losing interest. Ken just keeps working him over with kicks and punches for minutes on end, and he finally uses a bodyslam to jazz things up. A vertical suplex, but Val counters to a hanging version, and both guys stagger up for a slugfest - won by Venis. Venis with an inverted atomic drop, and he ropechokes the champion. Val throws a backelbow to set up an elbowdrop for two, again slow rolled by Billy. Val with a butterfly suplex, and a backbreaker shifts into a submission version. Val with a turnbuckle smash, and he dumps Shamrock to the outside, ramming him into the post a few times out there. Inside, Venis applies a camel clutch, but Ken starts fighting it off. Ken tries a turnbuckle smash, but Val reverses, and uses a snapmare into a tiger cradle for two. You don’t see that one too often! Val with a bodyslam to set up a chinlock, but Ken escapes, so Venis throws a knee for two. Val uses a hotshot ahead of a bootchoke, but he telegraphs a backdrop, and Shamrock is able to counter with a DDT. Cover, and Gunn stops counting at two. Shamrock gets in his face, allowing Venis to recover with a sleeper. Just what this match needs. Shamrock side suplexes out of it, and delivers a powerslam for two. Well, at least Billy kept counting that time. Val manages a bridging fisherman suplex for two, and Ken hooks a magistral cradle for two. Val rakes the eyes and uses a pair of short-knees into a Russian legsweep, but Billy breaks up an attempt at mounted punches. Val goes upstairs, but Shamrock slams him off, and lands a leg lariat. Ken with a rana, followed by a belly-to-belly suplex, and it’s anklelock time! Val is in trouble, but Ryan Shamrock helps him get into the ropes. That draws Ken to the outside to yell at his sister, so she slaps him. Well, technically he told her to. Billy hops out to try and intervene, so Ken shoves him, and Gunn isn’t having it. He knocks Ken out, and rolls him in for Venis to cradle - fast counted to three at 16:54. They had a hot angle, but a cold match. You’d think they’d book tons of gaga here, and do a big sports entertainment match, but instead they pretty much played it straight. * (Original rating: ¼*)

X-Pac and Triple H v Kane and Chyna: Shane McMahon sits in on commentary for this one. HHH and Kane start, and Kane slugs him down. Kane lands a big boot to set up an elbowdrop, but HHH dodges, and tags out. X-Pac comes in with fists of fury, and a spinkick connects in the corner, but Kane turns the tables. Kane with a turnbuckle smash, and Chyna tags in to deck him. Turnbuckle smash, but X-Pac reverses, and tries for the bronco buster, but Chyna bails. Tag to Kane on the way back in, so X-Pac charges him with some punches, and throws a dropkick to the knee to cut him down to size. DX double up on Kane in their corner, and HHH tags in for a flying axehandle, so Chyna takes a cheap shot at him. That allows Kane to clobber HHH, and a bodyslam buys Kane the time to get to the top for a flying clothesline. Tag to Chyna to pound on Hunter, but a vertical suplex gets blocked. HHH tries one of his own, but Chyna slips free, and bodyslams Hunter. Elbowdrop, but HHH rolls out of the way, and X-Pac tags in to work a wristlock. Chyna goes to the eyes to escape, and Kane tags in for a corner splash, but X-Pac sidesteps. DX tandem suplex Kane, so Chyna tries to dive in, but HHH throws her off the top, at Kane. DX with a tandem DDT on Kane, and they clothesline him over the top, but he lands on his feet, and drags X-Pac out with him. They brawl on the outside, and Shane gets caught in the crossfire. Inside, X-Pac tries a spinheel kick on Kane, but gets caught in a slam. The Corporation work X-Pac over, until HHH is able to catch the tag, and Roseanne Barr the door! HHH catches Chyna with a high knee, but Kane attacks to protect her from the pedigree. X-Pac sneaks in to hit her with the bronco buster, so Shane runs in to attack him. X-Pac chases McMahon to the back, as HHH reverses Kane into the steps on the outside. He comes in to hit Chyna with a kneeling facebuster, and he sets up the pedigree, but Kane saves with a chokeslam - then puts Chyna on top at 13:45. This had the type of gaga the Intercontinental title match desperately needed. Both matches were technically on par with each other, but one was boring, and one was engaging, and the crowd reactions made it obvious. * (Original rating: *)

WWF Title Last Man Standing Match: Mankind v Rock: Mankind turns his back, allowing Rock to get the first shot in, and you’d better believe Rock takes him up on it. Rock swipes at the leg he injured on Sunday Night Heat, but Mankind throws a shot to fight him off. Rock goes down, but beats the count, so Mankind keeps attacking in the corner. Rock ends up on the outside, and he bails up the aisle to buy time, but Mankind chases him down with a clothesline at the entrance set. He throws Rock into the set a few times, but goes to the well once too often, and Rock reverses. They fight over to the A/V area, where Mankind manages a DDT through a table. Mankind hits him with one of the monitors, and he tries dragging Rock back toward the ring, but ends up getting side suplexed on the concrete. They end up back at ringside, where Mankind reverses him into the steps, and delivers a bodyslam on the way back in. That sets up a people’s elbow, but Rock rolls out of the way, and hammers Mankind with punches. Back to the outside, where Rock suplexes him on the floor a few times, but Mankind gets up. Rock stops to taunt him at the commentary table, so Mankind launches at him with a somersault senton, and then dives off the middle rope on the outside with a flying elbowdrop on the floor! Mankind feeds him the steps, then charges him with them, but Rock blocks. Rock grabs a chair and starts going to town on the leg, and they spill back to the outside, where Mankind is able to deliver a swinging neckbreaker on the floor. He tries a piledriver through the announce table, but Rock counters with a backdrop on the floor - Mankind’s leg hitting a chair on the landing. Rock drops the steps on the knee from inside of the ring, as Mankind tries to punch every square of his bump card. Inside, Rock uses a bodyslam on a chair to set up the people’s elbow, but Mankind beats the count. He gets Rock in the mandible claw, but the referee is down, and there’s no one to count the challenger down. Mankind revives him, but it’s too late, as Rock is recovering. He hits Mankind with a low blow and a DDT, and tries swinging at his head with a chair, but Mankind ducks, and DDTs the challenger onto the chair. Rock beats the count, so Mankind puts the claw back on, but Rock gets a uranage to escape. Both guys grab chairs as they stagger up, and it leads to a double knockout - both guys counted down at 21:02. Oh man, that’s an incredibly bad finish, given the build up. This feud is so beloved, and produced so many high profile matches during this period, but they all feel the same, even with wildly different stipulations throughout the series. This had all the hallmarks: lots of brawling, lots of crazy bumps from Mankind, and a weird finish. ** ¼ (Original rating: *)

Main Event: Cage Match: Steve Austin v Vince McMahon: It’s kind of hard to believe it took them this long to get around to a match. And Vince wants to make us wait even longer, stalling on the outside for a while. Steve finally goes out and chases him, allowing McMahon to steal the high ground, and now he won’t let Steve in. Austin ends up twisting his knee while trying to get in, and a jubilant Vince goes out to capitalize, but it turns out that Stone Cold was faking. That allows Austin to unload, and McMahon eats the announce table, then the cage. Steve chokes him with an electrical cable before smashing Vince into the steps, but McMahon manages to send Steve into the cage to buy time. Vince uses that time to bail into the crowd, but Austin chases him down. That ends with Vince climbing the cage to try and get away from him, but Steve knocks him off, and McMahon takes a bump through an announce table. So, he’s dead, so the EMTs come out to cart him off, and Austin is about to be declared the winner, but Steve doesn’t want it that way. He drags Vince off of the stretcher and beats him with it, then into the cage they go, where Steve hits a pair of 2nd rope pointed elbowdrops right away. Steve heads out the door, but as he’s about to hop off of the steps, he sees a defiant Vince giving him the finger, and turns back. Steve stomps a mud hole, and just continues to beat McMahon from end to end of the ring, until Vince is a bloody mess. Austin climbs out, but Vince again throws up the finger, and Steve turns back. The psychology here is great, with Vince literally crying as he forces Steve to come back in, but knowing he has no choice. Steve continues beating the hell out of him, and a stunner leaves Vince for dead. But before he can decide what to do next, Paul Wight pops up from underneath the ring, and wrecks Austin. Why wouldn’t Vince just have him come in earlier, though? Vince wants Steve to suffer, so he instructs Wight to throw him into the cage with all of his strength. Paul obliges, but that causes the wall of the cage to swing off, and Steve ends up on the outside at 20:52. This wasn’t a great match, but it was a great story. * (Original rating: ** ¾)

BUExperience: The top matches all had excellent builds, and really everything on the card had some sort of storyline behind it. It isn’t a great wrestling show, but as the kind of thing you’d have on in your dorm room, and enjoy with a bunch of friends over, this would have been great. And, really, that was the target audience at this point anyway. 

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