Friday, August 8, 2014

HITMAN383 Rant for PCW September Salvation 2001



(And now, for something really different…


As a bit of background, this was a backyard fed my friends and I ran in high school, usually playing to other kids in the subdivision on weekends or school breaks. We lived in Upstate New York, so most shows were ‘weather permitting.’ Some of the guys actually went on to become professional wrestlers, though most don’t even follow the product anymore these days)


- The HITMAN383 Rant for PCW September Salvation. PCW is a backyard federation who I co-promote with (There is a link all over my site), and they have REALLY great production values. Especially for a backyard fed. And, most of the time, they do a better job of keeping storylines/allegiances from week to week then the WWF does. They also have some terrific commentators. (I was one of those commentators, doing a bad Jim Ross impression. Good times, though. I also provided the promotions championship belt – the WCW ‘big gold’ replica that came out in 1998, which was as close as you could get to the real thing in those days. This was originally written in early 2002)


- Also, to those PCW wrestlers and crew reading this, if I rate a match low, that’s not a bad thing … it’s a constructive thing. I mean no harm, and you guys know how much I like ya 

- Finally, kiddies, don’t try this at home. These guys may not be trained professionals, but they know what they’re doing, and they are sensible in their spots. Please, be sensible.

- The system for backyard wrestling, obviously, will be more liberal than it would be for professional wrestling. Afterall, there is no ring, so any type of bumps have to be taken extra carefully, and high spots have to be limited. But, for those interested in the regular 5-star scale, I will include that too. So you will see the BYW scale, and then the PW scale. That way, you can see how it holds up. Here is the system I use for pro wrestling:
- BTW, I use this system:
***** - Excellent,
**** - Great,
*** - Good,
**- Okay,
* - Decent,
DUD – Nothing Match.

- The Backyard scale means the same, only I’m more liberal with the ratings.

- September Salvation is the name of the event, which is equivalent with a “PPV” event in the magnitude it has to the promotion. (Took place in September 2001)

- Live from the PCW Arena (a backyard, with a creek in the background). (AKA one of the kids’ house, in this case Keith ‘Jackal’ Gordon)

- Your Host is General J.D. Other commentators pop in, here and there.

- Opening Submission Match: Jackal vs. Wicus: Jackal is the heel (and commissioner), and Wicus is the face. Jackal is a big guy, who looks like a scary mofo, and fits right in in wrestling. Wicus is a smaller guy, but cuts promos (along with tag partner Mike Gallows) better than ½ the WWF roster in the last 10 years. (Jackal was sort of a Taz meets Raven type, while Wicus and Gallows were the Edge & Christian of PCW – Wicus being Christian) Mike Gallows joins J.D. to call this match, as Wicus uses his speed to take control. Jackal is too big, however, and takes him down for a leg lock. They spar a bit, with Wicus getting the best of him, and working the arm. Jackal responds with a hip toss, as they fight over an armbar. Jackal wins that particular contest, and lays in the Vader-head shots. More arm work. Superkick by the big guy, and another armbar. I appreciate the psychology, but I hope it leads somewhere in this match, or else it’s just a waste of time. Maybe he’s trying to pre-counter Wicus’ array of chops to the neck? Falling piledriver “hits,” followed by a nice rolling splash. Comment: Normally, I’d take off for a spot so clearly missing, but since this is backyard wrestling, I fully understand it, and can live with it. (Everyone who wrestled took some bumps and scrapes, but we’re lucky no one ever ended up getting seriously hurt with some of the spots they tried. I mean, they were wrestling on a (sometimes frozen) backyard lawn! Forget about a formal ring, there wasn’t even a gym mat or a pad to be found out there ) No cover, however, since it is a submission match. Wicus forgets all about it three seconds later, however, and goes back to the armbar. Jackal, pissed at the lack of respect for his moves, hooks a leg lock. Uh, what happened to the arm? Then again, Ric Flair liked to work the whole body too, and he’s one of the all time greats. (Flair’s psychology could be kinda crap at times, though) Boston crab, but Wicus rolls it into an ankle lock. Jackal responds by pounding his face, and J.D. goes nuts on commentary. Fameasser (nicely done, too), but he gets up at nine. He comes at him with a series of kicks (seemingly forgetting the leg injury), and goes for the pin. No count, however. Jackal back on the arm, and he hits a running knee. IT’S TRIPLE H! Jackal goes over to snag a chair, and lays in some Hogan-like shots with it. Again, I can understand. He drags Wicus down to the creek, and hits a nice suplex next to the water. He lays the chair on his head, and goes up the three foot hill that is there, and drops a leg on the head. Okay, OUCH! (Yeah, I remember that spot. Crazy) Bearhug, but Wicus won’t quit. Wicus comes back with an array of martial arts action, and hits a firing line. The camera is just WAY off the action right here. (That fifteen year old kid with a camcorder still probably did a better job than WCW used to in the early 90s, though) Jackal takes the opportunity to kick Wicus in the head, and hits a Russian leg sweep. Gorgeous STF applied, but Wicus hits his way out. Clothesline, and a kick to the head lay Jackal out. Incredibly stiff DDT (leaving Jackal stiffly straight in the air, in a great visual), and he follows with a second, less stiff version. Ouch. (Wicus tended to be pretty sloppy, and I remember a lot of the guys dreading working with him due to it. Oddly, when he actually got kicked out of the promotion later, it was unrelated) Jackal counters a move with a reverse DDT, but doesn’t seems to know what to do to finish him off. He decides to stiffly DDT him, returning the favor, I guess. (Yeah, that was another stupid thing about two sixteen year olds out there working a match – tempers, with little regard for their (or their opponents) wellbeing) Firing line again (think of a reverse chin crusher), and he looks to finish, but Jackal hooks the cross face chicken wing to get the knockout at 13:07. Okay, see how the arm work LED TO THE ENDING? How it led to the finishing hold? THAT IS quality. They didn’t work the arm for 10 minutes, and end in a powerbomb. They ended in a chicken wing. Find me that in the WWF (outside of a few choice wrestlers), and I’ll eat my words. BWY scale: * , PW scale: ¼*.

- 3/5 Falls PCW Tag Team Title Match: Wicus & Mike Gallows vs. Jackal & Matt Geru: This ought to be good. Geru is also the World champion, at this point. You know two of these guys from the above, so I’ll only describe the other two. Gallows is a tall guy, with a decent build, who can wrestle like a cruiserweight, or a heavyweight. (Sort of a cross between Chris Jericho and Edge) Geru is best described as a TANK, because he’s big, short, and powerful. (He’d never get a look from the WWE, but in the backyard setting, he looked like a badass motherfucker. His style most resembled Rhyno) Gallows and Jackal start. PCW fans will know that that’s a good thing, since they’ve had one of the best match series ever. They wrestle around to start, and then go into a test of strength, but Jackal turns it into a headlock. Gallows turns it into an overhead wristlock, so Jackal slams him down, but misses a legdrop. Atomic drop by Mike, and a crucifix for two. Jackal with a rolling cradle (think Eddie Guerrero) for two (Magistral cradle, which he did quite well, actually), so Gallows goes for the figure four. Geru makes the save, however, so Wicus runs in for the Firing line. He puts Gallows on top for the first fall at 2:32.
- Jackal and Gallows fight over an armbar, which Jackal wins with a single-arm DDT. Great sequence there. Gallows tags, and Wicus applies an abdominal stretch. Jackal responds with a Russian leg sweep, and a tag to the world champ. He hits a great jumping DDT for two, so Wicus kicks away. Legdrop, as I wonder why they decided to make this 3/5 falls. Why not just do 2/3, and get the same length out of it, but have longer falls? You’re accomplishing the same thing, anyway, really. (Maybe it was booked in 1982?) Geru comes back by clotheslining him, and he beats on him for a bit. Wicus comes with kicks, and tags Gallows, which sends J.D. into a fit over an axehandle. Neckbreaker, and the tag back to Wicus. DDT hits for two, which just pisses off Matt, who decides to nearly break his knee with a sweep. Forward Russian leg sweep, but Wicus comes back, so Jackal hits him in the head. He tags in legally (‘Tags’ being such a relative concept, as there was no ring (or even an outline of a ring), so guys just kind of stood out of reach at random distances), and pulls Wicus back to his side of the ring. Smart man. Fameasser hits nicely (he’s great at that spot), but the rolling splash misses. Weak superkick by Wicus sends Jackal flying, and he tags Gallows. He impresses the hell out of me, by hitting three rolling suplexes on a big man like Jackal. It only gets two, shockingly. Awesome spot, however. Jackal, pissed at being shown up, punches him in the nuts, full stream. Hope he was wearing a cup! The challengers bust out an atomic drop/lariat combo, and Geru hits a stiff reverse DDT. His neck with inches from snapping there. Piledriver follows, again dropping Gallows right on his neck. It only gets two, however. Slugfest won by Gallows, and he tags Wicus, who hits a nice bulldog. Superkick misses, but Geru’s stunner doesn’t, and the heels tie it up at 11:36. Smart, not letting Geru pin Gallows, since they have a match for the title coming up in the main event. Still, for this to work, Gallows must pin Geru at some point. (With only a few wrestlers on the ‘roster,’ the whole show was basically just combinations of the same four or five guys, taped over the course of a week or two)
- Wicus and Geru fight around for a bit, and Geru hits a hard looking Samoan drop for two. Both guys make the tag, and Gallows runs Jackal over with a series of kicks and clotheslines. Axe kick gets two, and he tries a piledriver, but gets put in a leg lock. Gallows counters, and hooks the figure four he couldn’t get earlier, this time, keeping an eye on Geru. Now THAT’S ring psychology. (Gallows didn’t have ‘the look’ to make it as a pro, but the guy really understood ring psychology) Of course, Matt runs in anyway, which draws in Wicus, and we have a brawl! Jackal gets dumped by the creek, and sends Mike into a weak bump on a log. He lays him across the log, and drops a leg from the hill, in a sick spot. Gallows comes back with an atomic drop, so Jackal kicks the hell out of his leg, and hits a frog splash off the log to get the pin at 16:17, making it 2-1.
- They keep fighting by the creek, and Jackal charges him, but takes a good looking backdrop over the log. Elbow drop off the log gets two, as the camera misses EVERYTHING. Crazy bulldog hits (with Jackal nearly flipping forward during the spot), as Wicus takes out Matt. He comes to help Gallows, who hooks the Sharpshooter, as Wicus hooks a Sid-style chinlock. That’s a pretty impressive spot, to be sure. Jackal must think so, too, since he submits at 18:21, tying it up.
- Everyone brawls again, with Geru hitting a stiff spear to Wicus, because he can. The heels set up a plastic slide on a tree (with J.D. selling it like it’s something more extreme than it is. I mean, picture a commentator yelling “slide, slide!” like JR yells “STUNNER, STUNNER!”) (The slide was part of a children’s swing set thingy, that was everyone’s go-to weapon in PCW) Anyway, Geru hits a running spear into it, nearly killing poor Wicus. Double superkick hits, which draws Gallows back in to double suplex Jackal. Double atomic drop for Geru, as the faces set up the slide, too. Gallows tries a suplex, but gets revered, and suplexed THROUGH the slide, but they aren’t the legal so there is no count. Wicus with a STIFF DDT to Jackal, as the match loses any kind of order, and Jackal Russian leg sweeps Gallows. The faces take over, and hits a double double ax handle (quadruple ax handle?), and the tape cuts away from the match at 22:56. Uh, okay. I believe the faces ended up winning, but I don’t think it was smart to cut away, mid-match. (I think they ran out of tape there) While it lasted, it was pretty good, however, so I’ll rate what’s there. BYW scale: ***; PW scale: *.

- PCW Television Title 5-Man Royal Rumble Match: Pinfalls/submissions are the only eliminations in this one, and it’s two-minute intervals. (No shit, given there are no ropes to throw anyone over the top of) Genocide (the current T.V. champion) gets #1. He’s a little guy, who doesn’t really seem to understand wrestling, or psychology, but tries hard to work a good match. (Nice guy, but he never really fit in as a wrestler, as he wasn’t a big fan. The style he was going for most resembled Sean Waltman) Why he has the second highest belt eludes me though. (Because the roster was a total of, like, five guys?) Matt Geru gets #2, and looks pissed off. Then again, he ALWAYS looks pissed off. He takes out his aggressions on poor Genocide, who takes the abuse with zeal. He’s got a selling style which basically is best described as “playing dead.” Okay, I know Geru is a freakin’ bear, and I know that’s the counter to bear attack, but be creative! (Again, Genocide wasn’t a fan, and didn’t really understand the concept of ‘selling’ in a traditional sense) Geru sets up the slide, and hits the running goar into it. Okay, that looked like it REALLY hurt. Maybe Genocide isn’t PLAYING dead. Maybe is IS dead. (Geru was known to be stiff as hell, and while guys like Jackal were better at dealing with his offense, poor Genocide was out there getting clobbered more-or-less for real) It gets two, either way, and the champ gets uppity with punches, as Mike Gallows comes out at #3. He takes a dropkick from Genocide, however, and briefly teams up with Geru to pound him. That lasts all of three seconds, however, until Gallows bulldogs him for two. He goes after Genocide, and hits a suplex. Genocide didn’t really know how to take that one, either, and looks like it hurt him. (No idea why they were bothering to work actual spots with Genocide, who clearly had no idea how to take them) Geru nails Gallows from behind, and starts working the submissions. Wicus gets #4, and goes right for Geru, as Genocide hits a backbreaker on Mikey. He then proves his lack of moveset by doing it again. Meanwhile, Geru hits a sloppy bulldog on a metal plate, but Wicus pops back up, and returns the favor with a stiff neckbreaker. He didn’t even SUPPORT him on that one. (A prolonged Wicus/Geru feud would be an EMTs worst nightmare) Armbar by Wicus, as Jackal joins us at #5. He helps Geru kills Wicus, but Gallows makes the save. Genocide joins us, and does nothing of note. Okay, he needs to leave this match, because he’s ruining the grove. (I’m coming off as really harsh on the kid, but really, for his own health, he needed to take an elimination early. I mean, the guy was so limited that they had to book him in battle royal title defenses so everyone else could do all the work) The tag champs try to double suplex Geru, but mid-way through the hold realize he’s too heavy, and drop him on his head. Sloppy guys, sloppy. Meanwhile, Genocide impresses me with a CRAZY Japanese bulldog on Jackal, which allows Gallows to go for the Sharpshooter. He applies it, but Jackal powers out, and cloverleafs him. STF, as J.D. goes nuts. He’s SO loud, damn it! Wicus controls the match now, as Gallows takes a break, and does commentary. Okay. He comes right back, however, and continues his war with Jackal. Genocide, of course, continues to drag the match down. I don’t mean it as a shot against the guy, he’s just not up to the other four’s level. Everyone brawls now, so Geru springboards off the log (see: top rope), and topples everyone down, in a train wreck spot. Jackal hits a stunner on Wicus next, to eliminate him at 11:04. Well, that was out of no where.
- Everyone brawls some more, without much direction, and Genocide tries the Japanese bulldog spot again. Okay, his moveset is definitely exhausted, time to job him out. Jackal tries the frog splash on Gallows now, but hits the knees, allowing Mike to pound on him. Jackal lays in the chops thick on Genocide, and then DDT’s Gallows for kicks. He dumps him in the creek next (That’s not a euphemism, it was an actual creek), so Geru pulls him out, and kicks the shit out of his leg. Superkick/lariat combo by the heels, as Genocide limps back into the fray. Jackal tries a powerbomb, but gets rana’d, and then superkicked. I’ll say this, when he has spots, they’re good. Backbreaker, as Matt tries to rips Gallows’ arm out of its socket. He gets sick of Genoides balls, however, and kills him next. Meanwhile, Jackal misses a superkick by a good four inches, but Gallows sells it. My theory: if a spot misses, no-sell it. THAT’S when no-selling is expectable. (‘acceptable,’ dumbass) Rolling splash gets two, so Genocide pops in with a dropkick, taking the heels down. Jackal subdues him, so Mike clotheslines Jackal, and hits a fameasser. Meanwhile, Geru hits a jumping DDT on Genocide. Figure four by Gallows to Jackal, as the other two guys lie around, and let them fight. Jackal reverses the hold, but Geru breaks it up, and they hit the Dudley Death Drop on Gallows to eliminate him at 19:01. Okay, why is the best tag team ever assembled in the federation out of this match, but Genocide is still in there?
- The heels destroy Genocide, of course, and hit a DDT where Geru lifts his legs/body up, and Jackal drops him. Ouch. Meanwhile, some unknown guy runs out, and takes Geru and Jackal out, allowing Genocide a sloppy neckbreaker on Geru. Instead of covering, he goes and gets THE SLIDE (!!!), but Jackal was play possum, so the champ is forced to hit an impressive rolling stunner to subdue him. He lays the slide across both their bodies, and then does a senton splash onto it (in a TERRIFIC spot), and pins both at 21:46 to retain. Good match, with the wrong winner. Genocide is like RVD in ECW … he does some terrific spots, but they are few and far between, while the other four do less impressive spots, but are consistently entertaining. Take your pick, but I personally like the latter style of wrestling. BYW scale: ** ½; PW scale: *. (This sounded like a train wreck)

- Main Event: PCW World Title Match: Matt Geru vs. Mike Gallows: Staredown to start, which leads to a slugfest, won by Gallows with a neckbreaker. He hits the Curt Hennig rolling neckbreaker, which is impressive to see. He tries a jumping DDT, but gets speared for two, as I struggle to see because of the botched tape quality, and the fact that it’s dark out. They fight over to the creek (which is the PCW equivalent of the WWF’s fighting into the crowd), where Geru hammers away. Gallows comes back with a sloppy DDT (as in, he didn’t really pull him down with him, but he came down anyway), and I think they both know it, since they lie around for a while. Piledriver, but Geru sweeps his legs out, and goes to work. He grabs the SLIDE (!!!!), and nails Gallows with it. He places it on his knee, then stomps away. Modified STF, as I wonder how placing a piece of plastic on the knee, and kicking it, makes it more painful. (Better that than injuring each other with actual weapons) I can appreciate the knee work, though, since Gallows is taller, and taking his vertical base away is smart. Gallows gets thrown into the shed (which is exactly what it’s name is: a shed), and then Geru hits a splash for two. The funny part is, however, he climbed up onto one of this TINY chairs that little kids use for tea parties before he did it. The whole thing gave him something like three inches of added height, but I appreciate the effort. (Oh God, yes. That spot was unintentionally hilarious, with the kid standing on the plastic chair like New Jack atop the balcony, or something) Into the shed again, and the X-factor hits. That gets two, so he drags him over to the above ground pool, and dunks him in. Creative. (One thing that backyard was great for was that it had no shortage of shit to work with, that’s for sure) Remind me to find a tape of “General J.D.’s poolside party” one day, and rant on THAT one. Gallows comes back with a bulldog for a near three, so he hooks the leg, and still only gets two! He tries a tornado DDT, but he’s all wet, and slips off, but Geru still sells it like it hits. (Because making things more dangerous is exactly what this match needed!) Russian leg sweep gets two, but Geru rolls through for a two of his own. Gallows kips up, as a result, and lariats him. Abdominal stretch (along with a pumphandle, a touch you don’t see enough), but Geru hip tosses out. Bad looking piledriver (as in, he couldn’t pick him up) gets two, so Gallows hits the axe kick. That draws Jackal out, and he hits a stunner. That draws Wicus out, to take out Jackal, and help out his partner. The heels both hit superkicks, however, and the rolling splash/elbow drop combo. THAT draws out Mad Dog (the mystery man from the last match, who now has a name) to fight the heels. He’s NUTS, too, and will take just about any bump you want. (Super, super nice guy who went on to join the Marines later. And yeah, he was a bump machine) The heels beat him up, however, so Hardcore Harry Moore comes out to help the face effort. (Guy was like the PCW version of a part-timer, only showing up once in a while, like Undertaker) He throws a chair to Mad Dog, but then spin kicks it into his face, and joins the Triple Threat with Jackal and Geru. They kill Mad Dog, until Gallows shows up, and goes eye to eye with all three heels. “You damn motherfuckers” is all he has to say, and he attacks them all. He takes the Death Drop, however, and Geru pins him at 15:25. EXTREME amounts of overbooking aside, the match was pretty good. And even if it WAS overbooked, at least big storylines went into effect, so I can understand it. The whole thing (angle and all) definitely deserved the main event slot of the show, since it made the whole thing worth it. BYW scale: ***; PW scale: * ½.

- Bottom Line: Poor tape quality aside (because they transferred it from video to computer (to add animations, and graphics with the wrestlers’ names, etc) then back to VHS) hurt this, but didn’t damage it beyond all repair. (Today, they could probably do all that on a cell phone, and then upload it directly onto YouTube) The wrestle-fest, which runs a total of an hour and a half on VHS, is very interesting to watch. Those who have never seen PCW will find this a great place to start, and those who have seen PCW will like to have this one in their collection since so much happened at the wrestle-fest. Action-wise, it’s a pretty good buy, too, since the main event is good, the Rumble is good, and what was there of the tag team title match was good. If you’re a fan, SEE IT. Go to www.pcw.itgo.com to order! (Don’t think that site has been updated since before Harry Potter hit puberty, but go for it!)

- Recommended show.

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