HITMAN383 Rant for PCW TV - March 29, 2002

- The HITMAN383 Rant for PCW T.V., March 29 2002. This is the weekly T.V. show, which I got a copy of from the crew, so here it is.

- P.S.: Hulk-a-Mania LIVES!!!! (This was written around WrestleMania X8, obviously, which most of the PCW wrestlers actually attended)

- Once again, please don’t try this at home.

- Also, I want to note that even though I am very hard on the wrestlers at some points in the rant, I mean it only in a good, constructive way. If I ride you for something, its only to help it be improved the next Jtime, not a personal shot 

- The system for backyard wrestling, obviously, will be more liberal than it would be for professional wrestling. Afterall, there is no ring, so any type of bumps have to be taken extra carefully, and high spots have to be limited. Here is the system I use:
- BTW, I use this system:
***** - Excellent,
**** - Great,
*** - Good,
**- Okay,
* - Decent,
DUD – Nothing Match.
- The Backyard scale means the same, only I’m more liberal with the ratings.

- Live from the PCW Arena.

- Your Host is Big W, Bruce and Rob Sweet. (Sweet ended up going on to become a successful pro with the NWA in New York, and has won the NWA North American Tag Team Title, as well as been ranked in the PWI 500. Last time I saw him he was working with Tommy Dreamer, and I hope he gets a look from the WWE one day)

- General J.D. comes out (minus music, so referee Mick Moo sings the “Nation of Domination” theme song), and sets up a tournament of champions. It basically will take the top four PCW wrestlers, and hold a singles tournament. Works for me, I guess.

- Ben Dover comes out, and bitches about not getting the star treatment in PCW. He also challenges Wicus to a match, TODAY. That draws Wicus out, who uses his natural charisma to except the challenge. Hey, I asked for this one in a past PCW rant, so thanks to the crew for answering the request. (Dover also went on to go pro)

- J.D. comes back out, and strips Harry Moar of the T.V. title for never appearing, and says that the first round tournament match between Wicus and Dover is now over the title. This show is pretty thrown together, so far.

- Opening Triple Threat Match: Jackal vs. Omega vs. Mad Dog: Winner gets a bye in the tournament. Jackal and Omega fight alone to start, until Mad Dog comes out and kills Jackal. Suplex, but Jackal is way to big, and drops his weight on him. He tries his luck with Omega instead, and succeeds, then DDT’s Jackal. Bulldog for Omega, so Jackal tries to suplex Dog, but gets reversed. See, because of the momentum, the suplex worked now. Nice. Jackal comes back with a big series of backbreakers, and Omega wisely hangs back. Legdrop by Omega on Jackal, but Mad Dog takes him out. Jackal takes HIM out, with a single arm DDT, and tries a DVD on Omega, but gets locked in a dragon sleeper. Reversal sequence leads to a Diamond Cutter by Jackal, and Dog stiffly bulldogs the big man. That only serves to piss him off, however, and he cloverleafs him. Omega comes over to break it up, and works Jackal’s leg a bit. Dog jawbreakers Jackal, and he and Omega double team him. Good strategy there. He comes back, however, and dangerously suplexes Omega. DDT, so Omega hits the Omega cutter (Regal cutter) for two. Jackal no sells that, however, and neckbreakers Mad Dog. Omega keeps the hurt on the knee, however, and keeps him down. Mad Dog gets sick of teaming now, and nails Omega, so Jackal drops him. That earns him an atomic drop/spear combo by Mad Dog, as Big W gets a little silly on commentary. Anyway, Dog camel clutches Jackal, but his arm hurts so he fails, and Jackal arm breakers him. That prompts Omega to beat Jackal’s leg, and return the favor to Mad Dog by beating him up for a bit. Jackal uses the bad leg to take both out (??), and gets Omega to take an incredibly ludicrous bump on the log. They all go over to the creek, where Dog atomic drops Jackal. That prompts Omega to hit a somersault clothesline on the big dude for two, and he keeps working the leg. Back to the main area, a reversal sequence allows Omega a reverse DDT on Jackal for two. Notice: he hooks the BAD leg, which is smart. Dog suplexes Omega, but gets Russian leg swept by Jackal for two. Pedigree for Omega, and tries a powerbomb on Dog, but he escapes, so Jackal hooks the Martyrs cross to eliminate Mad Dog at 14:50. See, how the bad arm led somewhere? Hopefully the bad leg will lead somewhere later. Rana by Omega gets two, but he gets cloverleafed by Jackal. His own leg gives out, however, and Omega hits a neckbreaker. Spin kick into a Russian leg sweep (cool combo there), but he opts not to cover. Superkick misses by a mile (but Jackal sells it), and Omega hits a Japanese stunner for the win at 17:27. Too long (I would cut this to about eight-ten minutes, without the boring middle section), but it was still an okay match. The leg work led to absolutely nothing, however, so I hope they use it later in the tournament (bad leg from this match) to go somewhere, or we’ve just wasted eighteen minutes. **.

- Main Event: PCW Television Title First Round Tournament Match: Wicus vs. Ben Dover: Wicus comes through the back way, but doesn’t take the advantage of jumping Dover, rather just yelling at him. Dover literally slaps him around to start, but Wicus goes to the arm, only to have Ben side suplex him. That gets an arrogant two count, and he wastes about three years doing an elbow drop, and a leg lock. (Out of the whole crew, Dover would have been my last guess (well, second to last, behind Genocide) of guys who would go pro, but there you go) Wicus turns it into a sleeper, however, but gets kicked downstairs to break. Wicus with a rolling kick, so Dover dropkicks him. Superkick, and a legdrop set up the dragon sleeper. Wicus reverses, however, and reverse DDT’s him onto his knee! Chopfest won with a Dover fameasser for two, and he hooks a terrible camel clutch, which they fall out of into a sleeper. Sloppy, but they covered up for it pretty well. Suplex by Dover, and a snapmare leads to a chinlock. Enough with the restholds already! These are the two guys who should be flying around all over the place on eachother! Wicus with a kick (that misses by a mile, of course, and Ben only half-sells it. Good for him. Wicus then removes his sandals, and changes into shoes (yes, mid-match), which gets Dover to drop toe hold him and beat on his ass. I like the comedy of Wicus and Gallows in INTERVIEWS, and only in interviews. Gallows knows to be serious in the ring, but Wicus seems to have a HUGE problem staying serious during matches. (That actually got him kicked out of the promotion around this period, after he ruined a match with (booker)  Jackal by being too silly) Back elbow by Dover, and the rolling suplexes. Senton splash for an arrogant two, so Wicus reverse X-factors him. OUCH. Last Hour/Firing Line combo gets two, so he tries a Hennig-plex, but gets reversed into a cradle suplex for the pin, and the title at 9:00. Dover then grabs some cookie sheets, taking referee Moo out, and then hitting Wicus for them for a while. That draws Jackal out to makes the save, which is the second time in weeks the man has saved Wicus. I really don’t understand this, unless the idea is that he hates Dover for than Wicus. Anyway, he takes him out, and SHAKES WICUS’ HAND to end this edition of PCW T.V. in mystery, without even so much as a goodbye from the announce team. Well, that was strange. The match was a MAJOR disappointment, with brief moments of their brilliance, shrouded by a lot of restholds, and silliness. ¾*.

- Bottom Line: Angle wise this was a big show (establishing the tournament, and crowning a new T.V. champion), even if the angles were massively confusing. What’s the brackets for the tournament? Why did the winner of the three-way get a bye? Why is Jackal helping Wicus? All these questions went unanswered, and made for an incredibly confusing 1-hour show. Normally, I’d let that kind of stuff slide, if the wrestling was good, but it truly wasn’t. The three-way was way too long for what it was, and the main event was a disappointing mess.

- Thumbs down, this week.