- BY POPULAR DEMAND! Yes, you the readers chose for me to
rant on this show, so here it is, the HITMAN383 Rant for ECW Extreme Evolution!
Remember, I am not a big ECW mark (well, 1995, 1996), hence I have ONE ECW
tape, and don’t much care for their stuff. So if you’re a mutant from Philly,
you may not like what I have to say =) (This was originally written in 2000, and is
on the VHS version)
- Quick Poll Question (Part II): Since the last poll
worked so well, I’ve decided to let you decide something else. There is
currently a rant for WWF WrestleMania IX up, but it isn’t up to par with my
newer stuff. Would you like a new re-rant? E-mail me at HITMAN383@aol.com
(Offer (and email address, for that matter) no longer valid)
- BTW, I use this system: ***** - Excellent, **** - Great,
*** - Good, **- Okay, * - Decent, DUD - Awful.
- Your host for this tape is (who else?) Joey Styles. He
lets us now this will be Extreme. OOOOOH! I’m pumped up NOW (!!).
- ECW TV Title Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn:
This is from Hardcore Heaven 1999, and is called ECW’s best match EVER. For
those that don’t know, that’s a GIGANTIC lie. This match is a sucky little
spot-fest, if there’s ever been one. Hey, I had a disclaimer at the top, didn’t
I? They do an arm-bar exchange to start, and Rob WORKS THE HEADLOCK (!!). After
such action, Rob needs to stop and pose. A big criss cross leads to a nice
flippy-floppy sequence on the mat, and then (you guessed it) more posing. That
lasts about 5 minutes, and earns an “RVD” chant for the AMAZING workrate of his
poses. Lynn has
enough of that crap, and they do another flippy-floppy thing, which goes
nowhere. Hey, more posing! And people hate Hulk Hogan’s ego? Lynn
gets the Jericho
dropkick, knocking Van Dam to the floor, and he dives out onto him. “ECW” chant
for that, which isn’t really with good reason. Lynn flies around on him some more, and a
guillotine leg drop gets two, as does a 2nd rope bulldog. Fonzie gets involved,
and Lynn
straddles the top rope, allowing Rob a Van Daminator, knocking him to the
floor, HARD. He gets legitimately hurt, however, and has to lie down for a
while, as Rob stalls. Hey, had he not gotten hurt, he’d stall anyway, so, I
guess it’s all the same. Rob, the compassionate individual, throws him to the
rail while he’s still hurt, and hits a flying clothesline onto him. That would
have been cool, had he not taken about three minutes between each spot. Lynn gets a sunset flip
for two, but Rob powerbombs him, and gets flippy-floppy on his ass! Northern
Light’s suplex gets two for Rob, but Lynn
powerbombs him for two. He heads out, and finds a table, which he sets up. It
spills into the crowd, and Rob hits a chair-assisted kick to the face. He looks
stoned here folks. Then again, he ALWAYS looks that way. Lynn tries a top rope DDT through a table,
but Rob backdrops him to the floor. Ouch. They get back in the ring, where Rob
does some more crappy flips, which he disguises as offense, and hits a
springboard leg drop for two. Slugfest ensues on the ring apron, and Lynn flips from the
inside to the outside, and powerbombs RVD through the table they set up
earlier. Nice spot, admittedly. It gets two. Fonzie takes a wicked chair shot,
which distracts Van Dam for Jerry to hit a German suplex for two. He heads up,
but gets crotched, and Van Dam climbs up, but they screw up, and both kinda
fall off. Rob gets two off that. They do a sloppy mat sequence, and Rob hits
the split legged moonsault for two. 5-star frog-splash follows, but Lynn fights back, only to
have a chair kicked in his face. Rob hits the splash AGAIN, this time getting
three at 26:14. DEFINETLY overrated, but still an okay match. Just not what ECW
(and it’s fans) make it out to be. The last five minutes, however, really
rocked, and saved the match, but the first 20:00 or so, were a boring
pose-fest, for the most part. ** ¾. Afterwards, Rob (GASP!) poses.
- ECW World Title Match: Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka:
This is from November to Remember 1999. Mike dominates the match to start, but
Masato comes back and cross body’s him on the floor. Awesome gets him back in,
and hits an overhead belly to belly, and hits an over the top, no hands dive to
the outside. NICE! They brawl out there for a bit, and Mike dives into the
third row after him from the top rope! He then takes his head off with a chair,
but Tanaka pulls an Ultimate Warrior, and no sells. He gets the chair, and
clobbers Awesome with it for two, and does bad things to him with it. Tornado
DDT on the chairs gets two, and he tries again, but gets powerbombed. Awesome
hits a slingshot powerbomb, and sets up a table on the outside. He tries to
powerbomb him through it, but Masato fights back, only to get dropped anyway!
Great spot there. It gets two, but Tanaka is DEAD at this point. Another table
gets into the ring, and Mike places Tanaka on it, and heads up, only to be
super-duperplexed off through it! ANOTHER nice spot. THAT gets two, and he hits
a cool variation of the Diamond Cutter, but misses the discuss elbow. Awesome
clotheslines him out of his boots, and hits a frog splash, only earning two.
They both head up, and Mike hits a powerbomb off the top to get the three count
at 12:27. GREAT MATCH here. **** ¼. See, if only RVD could work a match like
this, with … you know … no stalling, and NO SLOPPINESS (!), I may like him.
- ECW World Title, Barbed-wire Match: The Sandman vs. Raven:
This is from December, 1996. This is also never before seen footage, so
hopefully it will be good. But more than likely, it’ll be really bad, and
that’s why it hasn’t been seen. They start by trying to get eachother in the
wire, with the other avoiding it. As interesting as it sounds. Raven goes to
work down low, but Sandman fights off, and tries a figure four, which doesn’t
go too well, and he flies into the wire. OUCH! He’s strung up in it, and Raven
hits two dropkicks to him, and then crotches him on it. It spills outside,
where Raven sets up a table, and Jim goes through it in his summersault bump.
Cooking sheet (with extra torque!) smashes on Sandman’s skull, and a table gets
in the ring now. Raven tries to set it up, so Jim charges him, using his body
to break the table, in turn knocking Raven into the wire. Sandman suplexes him,
and uses wire cutter’s to cut some wire down, so he can rake his face. Sandman
then whips him with it, and it obviously isn’t very sharp, as nether is
bleeding yet. Raven grabs a cane at ringside and lets Sandman have it a couple
times in the head. Scotty’s bleeding at this point, for those who care. He then
rakes Sandman’s face in it, and now HE’S bleeding. A brawl on the outside leads
to more cane shots, this time by the Sandman. He tries to pull Raven in, but
Scott drags him into the wire, and chokes him with it. ANOTHER table gets in
the ring, and Raven tries to assault Sandman, so he gets some VICIOUS cane
shots in return. Sandman cuts some more barbwire, and wraps Raven up with it. A
bow on top would have been a nice touch. I guess he never worked at
Bloomindales. (…or tried to spell it) Sandman then wraps HIMSELF in the wire,
and dives onto Raven, but misses, and goes through a table. MORE tables, and
Raven tries to piledrive Sandman through one, but it breaks before hand,
earning boo’s from the crowd, so Raven DDT’s him and pins him for the belt at
17:18. The match was not, by ANY means boring, but it wasn’t a really good
wrestling match EITHER. **.
- The Eliminators vs. Steve Williams and Terry Gordy:
This is from late October, 1996. A brawl breaks out from the start, and it
officially starts with John and Gordy. Gordy gets the best of that
confrontation, and kicks John’s ass. Williams tags in, but gets clotheslined,
and John does the handspring elbow, only to get German suplexed by Dr. Death.
Steve hits a Stinger Splash, and both guys take John apart, and a powerslam
gets two. Double shoulderblock for two, and a bulldog for another. Gordy with a
vertical suplex for two, and a series of clotheslines for two. A brawl breaks
out, and Saturn powerbombs Steve on the floor, but Terry is still killing his
partner in the ring. Saturn gets tagged in, and he small packages Gordy for
two, but gets powerbombed for two. The Eliminators double team him, and a Regal
Roll/splash combo gets two. Total Elimination for two, as Steve saves. The
Elim.’s keep control, and Perry climbs to the top of a scaffold that is set up
for later that night, and drops a crazy elbow drop on Gordy for three, at 8:57.
The match was pretty decent, but the crowd heat was crap. The big elbow was
SWEET, however. *.
- Mixed Tag Team Match: Tommy Dreamer & Beulah vs.
Shane Douglas & Francine: This is from December 1996, and is on the
same night as the Sandman/Raven match earlier on this tape. War of words to
start, which quickly escalates into a match. Shane kicks serious ass to start,
and baseball slides Tommy into the rail at ringside, hurting his knee. Shane
dives out after him, and breaks a bottle of Fruitopia on his head. It goes into
the crowd, where a fan gets overly excited and ATTACKS SHANE WITH A CHAIR,
which turns into a fight, and the guy is ejected. (Oh dear) Lousy ECW fans
… It gets back to, you know, the ring, but only for a moment, as they fight on
the floor. Back in, and Shane hits a neckbreaker on a chair, and works the knee
he injured earlier. Francine gets her shots in too, but gets beaten on in
retaliation, but Shane saves and piledrives him. He heads to the top, but Tommy
slams him off, and a powerslam gets two. Dreamer works the knee for a while,
and gets two off a DDT. Francine gets involved, and Tommy tags Beulah in, and
it’s catfight time. How intriguing. Shane hooks on a figure four, after that
mayhem ends, but Dreamer quickly breaks out. Francine gets bumped off the apron
to the floor, and gets in a fight with Hawaiian Shirt guy. If I’ve said it
once, I’ve said it a thousand times: Lousy ECW fans! (They were terrible assholes, but
that was part of the charm) She comes back in, and clobbers Beulah,
which earns her a piledriver from Dreamer. However, while in position for it,
she becomes exposed, sending the mutants into a riot. Dreamer wants to ends it
with a moonsault, but Beulah objects, and does it herself, only to be belly to
bellied by Shane for three at 12:30! The match was a decent little mess, *.
- Bottom Line: What’s there to say? It’s ECW. In
reality, going by star ratings, this tape is not much of a tape. I mean,
Awesome/Tanaka ROCKS, but other than that the only thing that’s even REMOTLY
good is Lynn/RVD, which is pretty boring. It does, however, have a good range
of stuff from ECW, showing you SOME of what they are all about, but *I* could
have put together a better “best of” tape, and I’m not even an ECW fan. Another
argument could be made, however, that even if the tape wasn’t ‘AMAZING’ it
wasn’t insulting either, and was fairly solid the whole way through, which is a
fairly valid point. So I guess I’ll go …
- Neutral Feelings. Don’t run
out and get it, but don’t avoid it at all costs either. (Haven’t seen this tape in years,
but more ECW stuff will be getting the BUExperience treatment soon)
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