WWF Armageddon (December 2000)

From Birmingham, Alabama; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler

Opening Six-Person Elimination Tag Team Match: The Radicalz v Team Xtreme: The idea here is that Dean Malenko wants to get his hands on Lita. Big brawl to start, and Matt Hardy saves Lita from Dean with a side suplex, but Eddie Guerrero pulls him out of the ring before she can Swanton him. Jeff Hardy responds by diving out onto both Dean and Eddie, and inside, the dust settles on Saturn and Matt. Saturn with a quick brainbuster, and Eddie comes in with a diving backelbow, but gets flapjacked in the corner, and Matt tags Jeff. Hardy comes in with a big backdrop, and we get a weird sequence where it looks like Saturn was supposed to fire off a cheapshot from the apron, but missed his cue - with Jeff selling it anyway. He's a nice guy that way. Eddie tries to capitalize on the phantom cheapshot, but ends up taking the Swanton, and he's done at 2:56. Saturn comes in and quickly polishes Jeff off with a Death Valley Driver at 3:41. Matt slingshot sunset flips in for two, but Terri grabs his ankle as he tries to follow-up, and Saturn hits a bridging German suplex for two. Headscissors, but Matt manages to counter into a sidewalk slam, and he adds a 2^nd rope legdrop for two. Twist of Fate ends Saturn's night at 5:07 - and triggers an amazing up skirt shot of Terri for good measure. WOW! See, now THAT's an ass! Not this fat, disgusting Nicki Minaj fad that has somehow captivated America. Terri and her fine ass come in to take a spear from Lita, but the distraction allows Dean to schoolboy the remaining Hardy at 5:33. So, down to Dean and Lita, which is obvious, but necessary booking. Malenko tries to corner her, but she snaps off a headscissors, and hooks a victory roll for two. Moonsault press gets two, and she drops him with a DDT, but a trip to the top gets her superplexed for two - Dean stopping his own count to dish out more punishment. He unloads a series of short-clotheslines and a backbreaker for two - again pulling her up. Texas Cloverleaf, and Lita's done at 8:03. Sure, you could say that the booking was predictable, but I'll take predictable any day of the week when it actually gives us what the match is designed to give us, versus today's 'close, but no cigar!' style booking. Crowd was really into it, too. Good opener. **

WWF European Title Match: William Regal v Hardcore Holly: Holly goes right after him, and snaps off a backelbow before the champ bails to break the momentum. He suckers Hardcore out onto the floor, but gets overwhelmed in a slugfest, and takes a side suplex on the way back in for two. Holly tries a flying elbowdrop, but hits Regal's boot on the way down, and William superplexes him for good measure - getting a few two counts off of it. Surfboard, but Holly escapes, so Regal tries a double-underhook suplex - Holly countering with a nice backdrop driver for two. Nice sequence there. Hardcore dropkick and a bodyslam setup a flying legdrop (AKA the Alabama Jam, since we're in Birmingham) for two. Regal responds with a powerbomb, but Holly grabs the ropes before he can lock the Stretch on. Holly tries for a comeback, but suddenly Raven runs in to DDT him, and Regal covers at 4:59. The ending was way out of nowhere, but this was a totally decent little match before it went off the rails at the finish. * ¼

Intergender Match: Val Venis v Chyna: Chyna attacks him on the floor before the bell, and tosses him into the steps. Inside, Chyna with a drop-toehold to set up some forearms to the back of the head, and hits a DDT, but walks into a couple of short-kneelifts, and takes a Russian legsweep. Venis tosses her to the outside for Ivory to abuse, but that's sort of like tossing a Rottweiler to a Chihuahua. Back in, Chyna shrugs it off, and backdrops him, then hits a sloppy neckbreaker for two. Hey, like I always say, if you're gonna be sloppy, make sure it's on neck oriented moves! Val comes back with a powerslam, but the Money Shot misses, and Chyna hooks the leg for two. Bodyslam, but Ivory trips her up as she runs the ropes to follow-up, and Val hits a fisherman's suplex for the pin at 5:02. I'm not big on the man/woman stuff (especially twice in one night), but even objectively, this was a pretty shitty match, with Chyna blowing a bunch of stuff, and looking generally lost out there. ¼*

Last Man Standing Match: Kane v Chris Jericho: Speaking of things I'm not big on, add Last Man Standing matches in general to that list. Brawl by the entrance set to start (add that to the list as well), and they go backstage, but the there's no camera there, apparently, so we're stuck with a good minute of just crowd shots while they sort it out. We pick things up with them brawling around the hallways backstage, and then back out to the arena - where the dead crowd wakes up to greet them. Whose bright idea was it to go to the back in the first minute of the match? There's no need for it period, but if you're going to do it, at least wait until after you've hooked the crowd, because now they're completely indifferent to this one. Kane rams him into the post a few times, and slams him on the floor, but Chris is up at the referee's count of four. They punch-kick their way back into the ring as the crowd falls deeper into naptime, and Kane hooks a hangman. He drops Jericho for the referee to count, but he's up at seven. Kane misses a charge in the corner to setup a springboard moonsault, but that his knees, and Kane dives at him with a flying clothesline for a six count. Chokeslam, but Jericho's up at nine. Kane gets frustrated and decides to Tombstone him onto a chair to finish, but Chris blows him low, and DDTs him onto it. That leaves both guys down for six count, and Chris whacks him with a chair as they stagger to their feet. That's worth six. Jericho with a diving forearm and a missile dropkick, but he waves off the count, and decides to stay on him with a bulldog. Springboard moonsault onto a chair-covered Kane gets nine, and Kane big boots him for his efforts. Now good and pissed, he press-slams Chris right out of the ring, and they randomly decide to brawl up the aisle and over to the entrance set again. Weird spot there, as they just kind of randomly started heading over there to do the big finish, but there was no proper transition. Over at the entrance, Chris manage to knock Kane over, and he shoves a piece of the set onto him for the win at 16:45. The camera angle totally blew that spot, too, and made it look more like he built Kane a nice fort than hurt him in any way. Well, building security must have appreciated this match at least, because people tend to be less destructive when they're asleep, but like I said before, Last Man Standing matches are not really my cup of tea. They're acceptable when there's a really, really good issue to blowoff, but for this midcard quasi-feud, it's just way too much dead time. ¼*

WWF Tag Team Title Fatal Four-Way Match: The Goodfather and Bull Buchanan v Edge & Christian v The Dudley Boyz v Jesse James and K-Kwik: Man, who'd have thought K-Kwik would still be around fourteen years later? Or that Jesse would still be getting tag title runs? First fall wins. And while we're at it, add Fatal Four-Way tag matches to the list as well. That's another one that I understand the reason bookers use it, but I rarely actually enjoy. The champs start with the Dudley's, but quickly get overwhelmed, and James tags in. And gets beat up by D-Von Dudley. Everyone takes turns beating on K-Kwik, until Edge misses a 2^nd rope axehandle, and takes a neckbreaker from him. The whole thing eventually turns into a big brawl to give us a dog pile spot on the floor, and inside, Edge takes the Wassup Drop from the Boyz. Electric chair/flying clothesline combo gets two for the Boyz, and Bull takes the Death Drop. One for Goodfather, and Wassup Christian. Unfortunately for them, Edge spears Bubba Dudley, and Christian hits the Impaler to win the titles at 9:42. Sorry if the play-by-play was strongly lacking for this, but it was too aimless and too all over the place before the last two minutes. As noted, I understand why this match makes sense from a booking perspective, but from a workrate perspective, it's detrimental. ½*

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Billy Gunn v Chris Benoit: Gunn controls the initial lockup, but can't shift into a hold, and Benoit gets into the ropes to break - then promptly jumps him. Billy responds with a drop-toehold and a series of armdrags for two, then tossing his challenger out over the top. Billy follows for a whip into the post, but one into the steps gets reversed. Inside, Benoit goes to work on the knee - kicking at it, and driving it into the mat. Kneebreaker, but Billy counters into a sunset flip for two, so Benoit fires off a dropkick at the knee to cut him off. Chris with a legwhip to setup a figure four, Gunn reverses, but Benoit's in the ropes, so Billy tries a stinger splash, but Chris sidesteps and delivers the three-alarm rolling-German suplexes. Flying headbutt, but Billy rolls out of the way, and Chris splats. Billy with a powerslam for two, and a press-slam hits, but the knee slows him down. Jackhammer and the Fameasser get two, but he's moving too slowly as he goes for the One and Only, and Benoit is able to counter into the Crossface! Billy makes the ropes, but the knee gives out as he tries a tilt-a-whirl, and Chris side suplexes him for two. Gunn tries a desperation inside cradle for two, but that only serves to piss the Crippler off, and the Crossface finishes at 10:01. Would it have absolutely killed them to finish with something that targets the knee? Surprisingly good and psychologically sound match other than that though, with Gunn doing a really good job of selling the knee. Benoit was certainly a better choice for Intercontinental champion at this point too, as Gunn was long removed from believability at that level. **

WWF Women's Title Triple Threat Match: Ivory v Trish Stratus v Molly Holly: First fall wins. Molly goes berserk on Trish right away, and they work a nice spot where Stratus monkeyflips her, with Holly landing on her feet - right into a lariat from a waiting Ivory. She and Trish decide to team up on Molly, but that quickly falls apart, and Holly hits them both with a flying bodypress as they bicker. She backdrops Ivory out and gives Trish a sitout powerbomb, but here's Ivory to break up the count! She tosses Molly out, and hooks Trish's leg to retain at 2:11. Too short to really go anywhere, but this was good for what it was. ½*

Main Event: WWF Title Six-Way Hell in a Cell Match: Kurt Angle v Steve Austin v The Rock v Triple H v The Undertaker v Rikishi: First fall wins. Austin attacks Angle outside of the cage as the bell sounds, and inside, everyone pairs off on the floor: Austin/HHH, Rock/Rikishi, Angle/Undertaker. Angle/Taker take it into the ring as the others brawl outside, with Undertaker choking the champion in the corner. Rock and Rikishi sense the crowds boredom with the extended chokehold, and come in for Rock to hit a nice jumping clothesline on Rikishi. That was some nice elevation, and the camera angle really accentuated it nicely. Switch to Austin/HHH in the ring, and Steve hits the Thesz press for two. Rock with a swinging neckbreaker on Kurt for two, but he walks into a backelbow. Lather, rinse, repeat as everyone trades off for quickie in-ring portions, until Triple H Pedigree's Rikishi. Rock breaks up the count, so Angle hits him an Olympic Slam for two - saved by Austin, who gives Kurt a Stunner. Undertaker breaks that up and chokeslams Austin for two, but HHH grabs his ankle to pull him out to the floor to break the count. Undertaker destroys him on the floor for that one, and HHH is busted open! Meanwhile, Vince McMahon rides out to ringside on the flatbed of a truck filled with woodchips. He hitches the cell door to the truck to rip the door off, then decides to really go for broke by trying to rip an entire SIDE of the cell off. Uh, okay. Commissioner Mick Foley comes out to stop that effort, however, but the door is still torn off, and Triple H escapes, but Austin is right behind him, and they brawl over to the entrance set. Austin grabs one of the camera cranes to swing into Hunter, as Rock and Angle brawl over to the entrance as well - Undertaker and Rikishi eventually joining too. That goes on for a long ass time, and you can add 'cage matches where the guys spend half the match outside of the cage' to the list as well. Fast-forward ten minutes, and we're finally back at ringside. Ringside, mind you, not in the cage, or anything ridiculous like that. HHH decides to climb the cage to get away from Austin, but Steve follows, and they fight atop the cell. Not to be outdone, Undertaker joins them, with Angle in tow. Rock and Rikishi eventually join, but the party is getting so boring that Austin and HHH just outright leave - no one even bothering to bump off. After what feels like an eternity of scaffold match-like stuff atop the cell, Undertaker finally pushes Rikishi off for a nice landing on the (padded) flatbed of the truck. With that out of the way, Rock and Austin head inside, and Rock wins a slugfest with a spinebuster. People's Elbow, but Austin manages to hit the Stunner - only for HHH to stop him from covering, and Angle to capitalize by getting an arm across Rock's chest to retain at 32:10. Well, no one would dare call that 'rushed,' that's for damn sure. I dunno, I could see how this would be entertaining when it was live, but as a match, it was really heavy on the sports entertainment aspect for my taste. It was also way too damn long. It's not a failure as a main event, but it doesn't really hold up fourteen years later. ¾*

BUExperience: When the main event is a half hour long, it’s definitely a make-or-break deal, and in this case, ‘break,’ for sure. The undercard is really forgettable, pedestrian stuff too, and without a truly great main event to send us home on, this show is just a total stinker.

DUD