HITMAN383 Rant for PCW April Action Zone 2002

- The HITMAN383 Rant for PCW Action: April. This is basically just a compilation for some matches from April 2002 PCW shows. (And this was originally written around then)

- Once again, please don’t try this at home.

- Also, I want to note that even though I am very hard on the wrestlers at some points in the rant, I mean it only in a good, constructive way. If I ride you for something, its only to help it be improved the next time, not a personal shot  

- The system for backyard wrestling, obviously, will be more liberal than it would be for professional wrestling. Afterall, there is no ring, so any type of bumps have to be taken extra carefully, and high spots have to be limited. Here is the system I use:
- BTW, I use this system:
***** - Excellent,
**** - Great,
*** - Good,
**- Okay,
* - Decent,
DUD – Nothing Match.
- The Backyard scale means the same, only I’m more liberal with the ratings.

- Taped from the PCW and GWF Arenas.

- Your Hosts are General J.D., Big Ben, Big W, and others.

- #1 Contenders Tournament: Semi-Finals Match: Jackal vs. Omega: Yes. Again. I think the point of all these matches together is to get Omega seasoned, so HE can carry other people, as opposed to being carried. I can’t disagree with that. Omega has Dusty Rhodes with him, who joins J.D. and Mike Gallows on commentary. (To be clear, not the actual Dusty Rhodes, just some kid who used to do a Dusty impression) Jackal over powers him to start, and they wrestle around, without much direction. Jackal tries a powerbomb, but gets DDT’d for two, and Omega works the bad knee from the three-way match. That lasts all of three seconds, as Jackal starts working the back. He spends an eternity doing so, as the commentators get bored. Jackal over sells Omega’s rana, and we head to the creek. Omega works the knee again, and we do the hair-pull transition back to the main area. Jackal goes back to the back, with a backbreaker for two. Gory Special, but Omega escapes, and works the knee again, making sure to sell the back injury all the while. Jackal counters with a big lariat for two, but misses a second, and takes a superkick for two. More back work by Jackal, as I drift off. Overhead backbreaker, but his knee gives out, and he’s forced to break the hold. Commentators were way off in calling it, too, instead of playing up the kamakazie type effort, J.D. was busy yelling “MY G-D!” about 100 times. Omega with the Hennig-neck snaps for two, so Jackal PLANTS him with a DDT. Regal cutter by Omega for two, and a Russian leg sweep. Seriously, J.D., it’s called Valium. Consider it. DDT gets two, so Jackal busts out the surfboard (!!) to add something to this match. Powerbomb, but Omega rana’s, so Jackal turns it into a Texas cloverleaf! Wow! His knee gives way again, however, so he heads back to the backbreaker. Series of them, as I have Vietnam-style Genocide flashbacks. Pedigree gets Jackal two, and he hits the Diamond cutter. Reverse cradle, and Jackal gets the pin at 19:20. That pisses Dusty off so much, he throws down his visor. Oh, now THIS MEANS WAR! Match sucked, unfortunetly, as both guys seemed like they didn’t want to be there for whatever reason, and lacked the intensity and enthusiasim of Omega’s debut match. ½*. (This sounds closer to *** just from reading it. Might have been dull, but it was really psychologically sound, and both guys were selling like crazy)

- #1 Contenders Tournament: First Round Match: Mike Gallows vs. Roman: Bruce and J.D. are on commentary for this one. Roman dresses like Sandman, and out of all the PCW wrestlers, he looks most like an actual pro-wrestler. He’s just got that certain “look.” Now, that doesn’t actually mean he’s the best WRESTLER in PCW (far from it), but he LOOKS like a future WWF superstar. (Pretty sure this kid doesn’t even watch wrestling anymore, but yeah, he looked like a future star) He suplexes Gallows around to start, but complains to the referee about a slow count, so Mike jumps him, and Russian leg sweeps him. DDT gets two, so Roman stun guns him. Sidewalk slam, and he beats the crap out of him on the ground, then complains to the ref that Gallows tried to grab his ear. Roman is a great heel, make no mistake. Mike responds by THROWING him into the tree (with authority), but Roman spears him into the shed. Gallows with the axe-kick for two, so Roman hits a low blow, then acts offended that anyone would accuse him of foul play. Belly-to-belly (Roman’s biggest problem is that instead of waiting for cooperation on suplexes, he just DOES THEM, and throws his opponents around. Luckily, Gallows is big enough to take it). (Yeah, he sort of had that football player mentality to doing spots, which could be dangerous. He wasn’t intentionally being dangerous, just overzealous) Series of belly-to-bellies leave Gallows dead (probably half legitimatly), and they fight down to the creek. There, Gallows impresses EVERYONE and takes a powerbomb INTO the creek. That truly IS dangerous, and I question Gallows for doing it. (To be clear, he took a powerbomb into a very active creek on a spring day in Upstate New York. If that sounds insane to you, then you’re probably normal) To give him time to swim out, Roman goes into a huge rant about his dick (which is hilarious), but Gallows is back to hit the URINE-AGE (!!!) for two. (To clarify, that came from a call I made around the time, as I called the ‘uranage’ the ‘urine age’ to be silly) Gallows has balls to take the creek bump, and then come back 10 seconds later. Crucifix, and Gallows advances at 10:27. Nothing special, outside of Gallows’ big bump. *.

- Okay, to launch into a mini-rant about PCW, here’s how I’m feeling. I love PCW because all the guys are hungry, and everyone tries, but this is the problem: time. PCW matches average between 18-25 minutes, and it hurts the effect. For big main event matches, that’s fine, but on average, 6-10 minute matches would GREATLY increase the quality of the product. Since about only that long is interesting action anyway, they usually fill 10-minutes with boring non-action, and brawling to get to around 20 minutes. See Jackal vs. Omega from the top of this rant. Now, I have nothing against 30 minutes matches, but you have to be able to effecently fill that time, and not waste it with mindless crap, and 8 minutes of good action. Roman vs. Gallows is a great example of what length they should be aiming for, but even IT seeged into non-essential stuff to fill time. But, lets say it was Gallows vs. Jackal for that time, it would be classic. So, to summurize, I think PCW should still give the big main event matches 15-20 minutes (even more when needed), but finish up these undercard-midcard matches in no-less than 10 minutes. For example, Jackal vs. Omega in Omega’s debut ran around 12 mintues, and got ***. It was almost all action. Giving them near 20 mintues to do a boring psycological play did not help anyone. Okay, I think I’m done. Back to the action. (This was certainly true, but the extreme lengths often had to do with only having enough guys at a show to do one or two matches, and putting on two five minute matches wouldn’t be worth anyone’s time – wrestlers or observers )

- #1 Contenders Tournament: Semi-Finals Match: Mike Gallows vs. Ben Dover: From the GWF arena. This was a REALLY hot day, and the commentators (J.D, Big W, Big Ben) got REALLY silly, playing up inside jokes the whole match, instead of putting over the guys. Not good. (That was as much my fault as anyone’s, as we just got way too silly that afternoon) They fight over the first spot, and Dover wins with a superkick. Poetic, too, since the first spot he tried was the superkick (it missed), and he finally finished it with a superkick. Gallows with a Russian leg sweep for two, as the commentators reach their own little world. Dover with a suplex, but he misses an elbow. Gallows with his own suplex, but he eats Ben’s clothesline. Ben with an elbow drop off a pool deck for two, and a springboard flying forearm gets two. He wastes time, however, and Gallows locks the figure four. Dover with a rana for two, and a bulldog. Senton, and the rolling suplexes look to finish, but Gallows hits the Rocker dropper/pedigree combo for the pin at 8:08 to advance to the finals, and face Jackal. Great length for this one, and even though the match is nothing to rave about, it was perfectly done for what it was. *.

- Bottom Line: Basically just the loose-ends of the tournament here, and nothing really special to see. Unless you are compiling the tournament as a whole, I wouldn’t track this one down, under any means.

- Recommendation to Avoid.

- One last thing: I think PCW should seriously consider releasing a “best of” tape with the wrestlers involved in the match dubbing commentary over it, and giving us perspective on the match, without staying in character. I would pay to see it, that’s for sure. (Never happened, but yeah, it would have been cool)