Original Airdate: April 20, 1998 (taped April 14)
From Uniondale, New York; Your Host is Jim Ross, with Michael Cole (hour one), and with Jerry Lawler (hour two)
Kevin Kelly reports like from the cemetery, where Undertaker and Kane are set to collide later
It’s time for the Love Shack with host Dude Love, and while this didn’t become a regular segment, I really wish it had! Unfortunately Dude doesn’t even have a chance to get rolling before Vince McMahon shows up to fine him $5,000 for interrupting his business with Steve Austin last week. And if you ever needed proof positive that this is a worked sport, Mick Foley rolling right past having to spend five grand should be enough
Faarooq v Kama Mustafa: The Nation of Domination get booted from ringside, while Ken Shamrock and Steve Blackman are blocked from even getting past the Gorilla Position. Both guys are armed with bats, and Faarooq ducks a swing, and nails him with it. He uses a belt on him next, then whacks him with a beer keg. Kama fights him off with a hammer (a literal hammer, not a wrestling move), and a bodyslam sets up an elbowdrop. Kama works Faarooq’s taped ribs, but a splash hits the knees, and an avalanche hits Faarooq’s boot. Kama still keeps control somehow, and keeps hammering on the ribs. Not literal hammering this time, to be clear. Faarooq finally fights him off a mounts a comeback - only for Kama to cut him off with a clothesline. That allows Kama a headbutt drop to the groin for two, and he works the ribs in the corner. Kama grabs the hammer again, but Faarooq blasts him with his boot before he can use it, and Faarooq delivers a spinebuster at 6:03. This felt really long for what they were bringing to the table. ¼*
Backstage, DX want to make some pee pees
DX come out, and Ross apologizes that “Triple H may urinate on this crowd.” The Attitude Era was a truly unique time. So the big payoff to HHH… peeing on everyone… is him pulling out a SuperSoaker and squirting the crowd. This kind of thing was hilarious to me as a middle schooler, but, you know, I’m not a middle schooler anymore. Anyway, Owen Hart, The Legion of Doom, and Sunny interrupt, but Commissioner Slaughter steps in, and tells them this is the right place, but the wrong time. So we’ll see a six-man tag later on
Backstage, Vince enjoys a nice cup of joe
Back at the cemetery, Undertaker… still hasn’t arrived. Well, thanks for THAT update, Kev
Mosh v Dan Severn: Dan schools him on the mat to start, but Mosh manages to hold his own. Dan responds by gutwrench suplexing him, and then adds a butterfly suplex. Another series of suplexes follow, as Dan spams him with gutwrenches. Well, he beat Brock Lesnar to the punch by a good fifteen years. Dan with a bodyslam, and an armbar to tap Mosh at 2:42. ¼*
Over at the cemetery, Undertaker arrives and chokes Kevin out
Goldust v Bradshaw: Luna Vachon cuts a promo on Sable, promises to leave her alone and naked in the ring at Unforgiven. Bradshaw comes in with a big boot to kick start the match, and a backelbow follows. Bradshaw whips him with his chaps, and a backdrop follows, leading Goldust to bail. Bradshaw chases for a big chop on the floor, and he feeds Goldust the steps out there. Inside, Bradshaw hits boot on a charge, and Goldust throws a few clotheslines. Turnbuckle smash follows, but Bradshaw no-sells him, and delivers a Russian legsweep. Elbowdrop, but Goldust dodges, and delivers a DDT to set up mounted punches. Snapmare sets up a kneedrop for two, so Goldust works a chinlock to wear him down, but Bradshaw fights free. Goldust throws a knee to cut him off, but a clothesline misses, so Goldust tries a bodypress, but gets caught in a fallaway slam. That allows Bradshaw to hit a big boot, and a trio of cross corner clotheslines connect. He looks to put it away, but Kaientai (now called Club Kamikaze) run in on him for the DQ at 4:50. Pretty solid stuff here. *
The M&M Slam of the Week is Vince slapping Austin on last week’s show
WWF Champion Steve Austin hits the ring, and he’s looking for blood. Anyone’s, but preferably Vince’s
The New Midnight Express v Terry Funk and 2 Cold Scorpio: The NWA World Tag Team title is not on the line, and Jim Cornette sits in on commentary. The crowd is totally dead as Scorpio dominates Bob, and a powerbomb sets up a legdrop for him. Over to Funk for a neckbreaker, as Cornette puts over the Express as the ‘future’ of the WWF. There’s salesmanship, and there’s outright lying, and Jim Cornette is on the wrong side of that line. Funk gets into trouble in the heel corner, allowing the Express to work him over. Terry fights Bob off long enough for the hot tag, and Scorpio runs wild on Bart. He looks to put it away, but Bart fights him off with a powerbomb, and Bob delivers a piledriver for good measure, but Scorpio is in the ropes when Bart covers. That draws Funk in, and Roseanne Barr the door. Funk eats a spike piledriver for his trouble, and they take him to the outside for further punishment, but Scorpio hits them with a dive. He rolls Bob in for a flying moonsault, but Bob lifts his knees to block. Bob tries a superplex, but Scorpio blocks, and delivers a flying 450 splash at 6:51. Lots of effort here, but the crowd just did not care, and so the match fell flat. Afterwards, Dan Severn comes in to break Scorpio’s arm, but Funk saves with a chair. *
Backstage, a hearse arrives in the garage
Val Venis vignette. These are somehow getting trashier
Cole brings Sable out, and he thinks she’s going to be humiliated if everyone sees her naked. Thankfully, Sable quickly corrects him on that point, noting that she has nothing to be ashamed of. And anyway, she doesn’t care if she’s completely naked in front of everyone, so long as she gets her hands on Luna
Backstage, Kane and Paul Bearer get out of the hearse, both looking disheveled
Six-Man Tag Team Match: Triple H and The New Age Outlaws v Owen Hart and LOD 2000: After some posturing, we get Billy Gunn and Owen Hart to start, and Hart dominates. Over to Jesse James, and he gets into trouble in the babyface corner right away, so HHH tags in, and he hits Animal with a high knee, but Animal fights back with a powerslam and an elbowdrop for one. He holds a wristlock before passing to Owen, so HHH scrambles, tagging out before Hart can lay hands on him. Owen hits Billy with a spinheel kick in frustration, and a neckbreaker sets up a legdrop for two. Backdrop, but Gunn counters with a rocker dropper, and he passes to HHH. Hunter is happy to come in now that Owen is in trouble, and HHH puts the boots to him in the corner. Owen fights him off and looks for the Sharpshooter, but Hunter blocks, so Owen uses a leg-feed enzuigiri to knock him silly. That allows Hart to get the Sharpshooter on, but Gunn runs in with a DDT to break it up. Tag to Jesse with a pair of kneedrops for two, and a corner clothesline finds the mark. Tag to Billy, but Hart fights them off with a double dropkick (nicely executed), and he makes the hot tag to Animal - Roseanne Barr the door! Doomsday Device on Jesse looks to finish, but everyone gets distracted by Chyna going after Sunny, and X-Pac comes in with a chair. That allows Billy to piledrive Animal for the pin at 9:10. *
Out in the garage, Kane and Bearer roll caskets supposedly containing Undertaker and Kane’s parents out of the hearse
Kane and Bearer bring the two caskets onto the entrance stage in order to burn, and they light up his dad, when Undertaker shows up. He tries to put a stop to it, but gets chokeslammed through his mother’s casket for his troubles. I have no memory of any of this, and it feels very much out of 1991, and kind of WrestleCrappy. Undertaker in street clothes was a big departure for the period, though
Backstage, Cole provides an update, and apparently Undertaker is distraught
Dude Love v Steve Blackman: McMahon sits in on commentary here. “Just like old times,” notes the King. And say what you will about Vince’s commentary, but no one gets an angle across quite like him. No wonder he feels the need to micromanage when he’s not in the booth himself. Dude avoids some strikes early on, and uses a kneelift to put Blackman down, but an elbowdrop misses. Steve responds by dropkicking him to the outside, and he grabs a standing headlock on the way back in. Dude escapes with a backelbow, but Blackman blocks a turnbuckle smash, and schoolboys for two. Dude bails, but Blackman chases, dragging him back in - only to get clobbered as a result of giving up the high ground. Love with a swinging neckbreaker for two, but another neckbreaker gets countered with a snap suplex. Steve adds a clothesline, and a series of pointed elbowdrops set up a headbutt drop. Blackman tries an abdominal stretch, but Love reverses, and the bell abruptly sounds at 3:45, despite the referee not calling for it, and Blackman not submitting. Steve flips out and goes after the timekeeper, and here comes Stone Cold! He takes Dude out on his way to going after Vince, and we have a brawl to close the show. The closing with Austin showing up to brawl with everyone was obviously hot, but the match was flat, and the way the finish was handled wasn’t really clear/didn’t really come across well. It would have helped if Vince (or one of his stooges) had an active role, the way it was presented it almost seemed as if the timekeeper just made a mistake. ½*
BUExperience: There was really nothing major going on, and none of the matches are what you might consider ‘good,’ but at least it felt like there was more focus on on-ring stuff this week. This episode was fine.
Monday Night Wars Rating Chart
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