WWF Superstars (April 23, 1994)

Original Airdate: April 23, 1994 (taped March 22)

From Lowell, Massachusetts; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

Doink the Clown v Bert Centeno: Doink throws glitter at Lawler during the entrances, which has to be resolved. He’s a captain now! Bert gets a great looking dropkick in here, before falling prey to the Whoopie Cushion (complete with Vince making a fart sound with his lips) at 2:43. Or, well, at least I hope he was making it with his lips. ¼*

Shawn Michaels (and his unibrow) and Diesel host the Heartbreak Hotel with guest Mr Perfect. This was taped two days after WrestleMania, so Perfect was still playing ball, though he’d bailed on them by the time this episode actually aired. So all of his jawing at Lex Luger is kind of pointless, even if he does a great job of it. And he really does, this is much more compelling than a lot of the other angles running. I’m surprised they didn’t cut the segment out, though. I also think it’s kind of funny that when Perfect finally returned in 1995 it was just after Luger left the promotion himself. He was on the run!

The Smoking Gunns v Gary Steele and Doug Smith: Vince is pretty shocked at Mr Perfect’s behavior, but really, this one is on Jack Tunney. He really should have done a more thorough background check before assigning guest referees. But then, they were so hard up for starpower that I guess they couldn’t also be picky. The Gunns put it away at 2:02. DUD

Stan Lane presents Live Event News, and the news this week is that the WWF raised $60,000 for the benefit of a public library in Connecticut. Yeah, I sure wonder why all of a sudden they’re doing all this philanthropy? And advertising it? There must be some reason. Anyway, these segments are already much better than the cookie cutter promos that Face to Face was by the end of its run

WWF Unbelievable ad 

Irwin R Schyster v Burt Stiles: Nikolai Volkoff is in the crowd here, and Lawler promises him as a guest on the King’s Court this Monday on RAW. What a world it was before Nitro forced them to take it up a notch. IRS gets some great heat here, as the crowd is still fuming about the attack on Tatanka and Chief Jay Strongbow on last week’s episode (taped at the same time as this week’s). And speaking of Strongbow, he split screens in with a one word promo on Schyster: “war.” Meanwhile, Vince complains that Schyster did what he did ‘for no reason.’ What do you mean?! He had a very specific reason, and literally talked about it for weeks before acting on it! If anything, Tatanka should have been better prepared, the idiot. Schyster with an STF at 3:20. DUD

Duke Droese vignette. This dude was clearly never an actual garbage man because he looks incredibly uncomfortable working with actual trash in the segment. Doesn’t pass the smell test

Razor Ramon v Adam Bomb: Razor’s WWF Intercontinental title is not up for grabs. Bomb attacks from behind before the bell, and he unloads in the corner, ahead of launching Razor with a hiptoss. Bomb with a scoop powerslam, but an elbowdrop misses, and Razor unloads with rights. Clothesline sends Adam over the top, but Bomb drags him out after him, and uses a short-clothesline on the floor. Adam with a slingshot clothesline for two on the way back in, but he argues the count, and Ramon schoolboys him for two. Bomb cuts off the comeback with a backelbow, and a pair of corner whips set up a side suplex for two. Backdrop, but Ramon is ready with a kneelift, and the Edge finishes at 3:35. No reason this couldn't have been for the title. Afterwards, Lawler comes over to talk, and calls Razor the ‘bad man,’ which Ramon quickly clarifies is ‘bad guy.’ Yeah, wouldn’t want to get sued by Johnny B Badd. Anyway, Lawler asks the hard hitting question: why is Razor ignoring Shawn Michaels’ challenges to put the gold up against Diesel? Called out, suddenly Ramon is a tough guy, and agrees to put the belt on the line against him next week. ½*

WrestleMania Revenge Tour ad

The Quebecers v Scott Taylor and Ben Jordan: The WWF Tag Team title is not on the line, and we have a fan doing the ring announcing for this one. And, once again, the tag title gets an angle with no angle, as suddenly the champs are ‘dodging the Headshrinkers.’ So, they’re no longer dodging Men on a Mission? They’re done with that? Captain Lou Albano split screens in to hype the Headshrinkers getting a shot, as the champs put things away with a combo at 1:58. DUD

Owen Hart v Gary Sabaugh: Owen looks great here, his 1994 gear from WrestleMania on was always top notch. The crowd loudly chants ‘we want Bret’ at Owen, and man, with those kinds of reactions, you’d think business would have been a little better during this period. I mean, things were on a downswing regardless, and Bret definitely did better on top than the guys that followed him for the next couple of years, but still. Hart with the Sharpshooter at 3:04. DUD

Lawler brings Shawn and Diesel out to hype up the title shot next week

BUExperience: Even though King of the Ring still isn’t on the radar, and thus there isn’t a big show to build towards, the episode didn’t feel at all directionless. Solid stuff.