WWF Superstars (March 5, 1994)

Original Airdate: March 5, 1994 (taped February 1)

From White Plains, New York; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Johnny Polo

Lex Luger v Reno Riggins: Riggins is dressed way about his pay grade this week. Meanwhile, Polo ‘can’t believe’ how much people love Luger. It’s really not such an astounding amount, pretty believable, actually. I do enjoy him working in Snoop Dogg and Dr Dre lyrics that go completely over Vince’s head, though. Lex with the torture rack at 2:32. Luger gave Riggins quite a bit of shine here. ¼*

Gorilla Monsoon is in the control center with Update, and this week he wants to talk about WrestleMania. Specifically, one of the ‘biggest innovations’ in the history of the business… Fan Fest. I totally thought he was setting up a discussion of the Ladder match, silly me

WrestleMania Moment: Undertaker’s entrance at WrestleMania IX

Jeff Jarrett v Dan Dubiel: We get the fan guest ring announcer deal this week, and this little kid actually does a great job. He’s not overly nervous, and is audible. Probably better than I’d have done at his age, honestly. Probably better than I’d do even today, if we’re being truly honest. Meanwhile, we spot Nikolai Volkoff in the crowd again, and points to them for moving him around to different spots throughout the taping. Jarrett is dressed more like a clown than Doink this week. Jeff with a DDT at 1:08. Did they have something against the figure four at this point? DUD

Stan Lane is in the studio for Face to Face with guests Crush and Mr Fuji, and Randy Savage

Doink the Clown v Brooklyn Brawler: Polo goes to Vince’s level with his jokes here, noting that Doink and Dink are ‘personal friends with Ronald McDonald.’ That was some Jerry Lawler level stuff. Doink dominates early on, and dropkicks Brawler to the apron, as Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon split screen in to hype the mixed tag for WrestleMania. Doink misses an elbowdrop, allowing Brawler to bodyslam him, and work a bite in. Brawler hammers him in the corner, but Doink fights back with a bodyslam of his own, and dives with the Whoopie Cushion at 3:02. ¼*

Sy Sperling sleepily hypes his appearance at WrestleMania X. Could he sound any less excited? The participation level of the celebs during this period was pretty sad, like they were all embarrassed to be seen associated with the sport. There were some notable exceptions, but for the most part, these were the dark days

Diesel v Rich Meyers: Vince is, of course, very excited about Howard Finkel getting hair as part of WrestleMania. The guy really had his finger on the pulse back then, didn’t he? Diesel with the powerbomb at 1:17. Finally! It gets a good reaction too, though he did a different version of it here where he goes down with the guy. I’m honestly surprised it took them this long to figure it out. DUD

Todd Pettengill, and his lame jokes, are in the studio for the WrestleMania X Report. Alundra Blayze still has no announced opponent with two weeks to go, and Adam Bomb has officially replaced Ludvig Borga, although no explanation (or even acknowledgement of the substitution) is given

The Bushwhackers v Cory Student and Mike Khoury: The Bushwhackers really were the herpes of the WWF, always reappearing at the least opportune moments. At least they didn’t get any more pay per view matches going forward. Even as a kid I never liked these two, and basically everything Kathie Lee said about them in her autobiography confirms what I’ve always suspected. The battering ram finishes at 2:16. DUD

Fan Festival ad

Paul Bearer hosts the Funeral Parlor with guest Owen Hart. Well, that’s certainly a weird pairing. Vince noting that “Owen Hart is heading for the funeral parlor” feels really icky. Owen cuts a solid promo on Bret Hart here, though nothing especially notable. Good continued character building though, no foul

March to WrestleMania ad

Crush v Todd Mata: Randy Savage split screens in, and seriously, how did this guy’s heart not explode years and years earlier just from doing the voice? Crush with the headvice at 1:28. DUD

Lane is back for another Face to Face with WWF Tag Team Champions The Quebecers and Johnny Polo, plus Men on a Mission and Oscar. For the first time, we hear MOM actually give some motivation, noting that they want to become the second ever black tag champions. They should have leaned into that more, it gives them some actual direction, as opposed to a random team getting a title shot because the Steiner Brothers disappeared 

BUExperience: No notable matches or segments this week, but it’s WrestleMania season, so even in cruise control this was entertaining enough