WWF Superstars (May 25, 1996)

 

Original Airdate: May 25, 1996 (taped April 30)

From Des Moines, Iowa; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Mr. Perfect

Fatu v Steve Austin: Ross catches up with Fatu in the aisle during the entrances, questioning him about the mysterious gangstas. What was up with them using Ross in that role while he’s also doing commentary duties? Was Todd Pettengill suddenly too busy, the prick? Fatu dominates early, as the announcers note that Savio Vega has never lost a Caribbean strap match. That’s hardly the brag that Bret Hart saying he’d ‘never lost a cage match’ was. Or even as much of one as Undertaker saying he never lost a casket match during the build up to… the second casket match. Austin dumps him to the outside as the gangstas show up to observe, but an attempt at a turnbuckle smash goes nowhere, as apparently Austin is an idiot. He manages to sidestep Fatu in the corner, and a snapmare sets up a 2nd rope pointed elbowdrop for two. Fatu tries charging, but Steve sidesteps again, and Fatu goes flying out of the ring this time. Steve rolls him in for the cobra clutch, and Fatu passes out in the hold at 8:31. Really dull stuff here. Afterwards, Vega runs in with the strap to get Steve to break the hold, and chases Austin off. ¼*

Dok Hendrix is in the studio for the In Your House Slam Jam, and the big news this week is that the Godwinns have defeated the Bodydonnas at a house show at Madison Square Garden last Sunday. Yep, that was the most notable thing to happen on that show

Choose the Path of the Warrior PSA. Apparently, Warrior is protecting blind street vendors from getting ripped off now. Well, good that he has things to do, because he won’t be in the WWF much longer

Marc Mero v Brooklyn Brawler: Bob Backlund is in the crowd, campaigning. Meanwhile, Hunter Hearst Helmsley is watching on a monitor backstage, and cuts a go home promo on Mero ahead of their match at In Your House. Mero with a figure four at 1:12. Why the hell was Mero using a figure four as a finish? His whole appeal is the big flashy moves. Afterwards, Backlund runs in and puts Mero in the crossface chickenwing, which led to absolutely nothing, not even a token house show match. But then HHH comes down to hit Mero with a Pedigree, so at least that was building to something. The Backlund involvement was perplexing, though. DUD

Last Sunday in Queens, it was the debut of the Ultimate Warrior comic book. Warrior was all over these shows in every capacity but as a wrestler

Marty Jannetty is on the Rockers tour bus, and gossiping about how Shawn Michaels would ‘always go for the married ones’ during their tag days. All considered, Shawn is probably lucky that’s the darkest story Jannetty wants to share about those days

Davey Boy Smith v Jason Ahrndt: Ross catches up with Shawn backstage, watching on a monitor, and fuming about the accusations. He’s drowning in them lately, from all corners. Bulldog with a running powerslam at 1:50. DUD

This past Sunday at the Garden house show, Sunny came out of the Godwinns’ locker room, where she was alone with Phineas Godwinn. That leads to clips of the match, where Phineas sexually assaults Sunny, on his way to winning the title. I can’t wait to hear Henry’s version of this on the tour bus on some random 2001 episode of RAW

The Bushwhackers v Brian Walsh and Tony Roy: The Bushwhackers have that kangaroo mascot out with them again, as we continue to pretend they’re a thing again. The battering ram finishes at 1:00. Hey, at least it was quick. DUD

Dok is back with another Slam Jam

Bob Holly v Vader: Vader is looking really heavy here. Some posturing to start, until Vader plants him with a chokeslam. Holly tries to slug at him, but Vader just absorbs the shots, and goes to work in the corner. Holly forces a criss cross, allowing him to stick and move, but Vader catches a bodypress attempt, and slams him. A pump-splash finishes at 4:35. Basically a complete squash here. Holly made Vader look good here, and Vader wasn’t afraid to really lay it in. ½*

In Your House ad

Undertaker is ready to bury Goldust at In Your House, and he even works some Hollywood stuff into his promo, what a mensch. Or maybe he was just angling for a gig hosting Entertainment Tonight. I mean, payoffs were way down during this period, got to make ends meet

BUExperience: They did a good job of making In Your House feel important here, and that’s about all this needed to do, so consider it a success.