Hey Rant Lovers. I'm here today to review WCW's Spring
Stampede 1994. (This was one of my earlier HITMAN383 Rants – originally written in
1999. Kind of weird to think that this was written only some five years after
the show took place)
I use this system: ***** - Excellent **** - Very Good *** -
Good **- Okay * - Decent DUD - Awful.
- Live From Chicago
Illinois.
- Your hosts are Tony Shavonie, Bobby Heenan, Gene Okerlund,
and Jesse Ventura.
- Decent video package to start.
- Gene welcomes the hot crowd. And lets Aaron Neville sing.
He sings, and smiles. I yawn, and fast forward.
- Tony and Bobby talk. Nothing really interesting said.
Bobby kisses Chicago's
ass.
- Opening Match: Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page: Badd is
SO gay here. He's announced as "the prettiest in WCW." This was
before their great 1996 feud. (Wait, 1994 came before 1996? Tell me more…)
Man Page is fat. Man, Kim is hot. DDP and Kim have a gift for Bobby
("BH" in diamonds). Page has a stupid outfit. (Take THAT, DDP!) Dallas attacks from
behind, and Page rolls him up for 2, then clotheslines him to the floor. Back
in for Badd arm drags, and Dallas
pulls the hair to get the advantage, and slams him for 2. They mat wrestle
eachother, and Badd into a lot of submissions. Back up and a back elbow turns
the tide. Dallas
then mat wrestles for many 2 counts. NICE snapmare sequence from Badd, and a
sweet drop-kick. Page rams him to the corner, then works him over. Side suplex
by Page. He puts the boots, and gut buster slam. Bobby and Tony argue over the
name of the move. Bad suplex by Page into a reverse chinlock. Head vise by Dallas, back to the
chinlock. Badd fights out of it, and side suplexes him. Page sells it nice, and
JBB gets an atomic drop, and backdrops him. Flying head scissors and the Tooty
Fruity Punch knocks Dallas
to the floor, and a flying cross body follows. Badd goes up and sunset flips
him for 3. *** (Yeah, I kind of overrated this, but hey, it was 1999. We didn’t know
better! We thought Vince Russo was the greatest booker of all time, for gosh
sakes!)
- Gene and The Governor talk about nothing, really. Just
hype Flair/Steamboat, and the street fight.
- WCW TV title: Steve Regal (ch.) vs. Brian Pillman:
Buffer does the intro's, and Pillman gets a decent pop. Regal is pretty hated.
I don't like that version of the TV belt, BTW. When did the current one come
into use? (The ‘current’ one came into use in mid-1995, but I actually really
like the design they were using here nowadays) Pillman goes right to
work beating the shit out of Steve all over the ring. Pillman is like a
machine. Brian slaps him hard, then dunks him to the mat. Nice criss cross
sequence, ending with an overhead armdrag. To the floor, and they brawl, with
both guys getting the upperhand. Pillman works on the arm for a while. Hard
chop by Pillman. Regal with a stiff uppercut, and good snapmare. Now Regal
works on the wrist. Brian wants to fly, but Regal wants to wrestle. Vicious
attack by Pillman, but Regal wins a criss cross to get control. They bring up
that Regal lost Pillman's half of the tag titles. They trade stiff offense.
Quick small package gets two for Brian. Beautiful wrestling sequence. Regal
then goes into a long submission hold. Heenan is VERY funny here. Crowd is
behind Pillman. Tony is really coherent here. Uppercut by Regal, and then a
back surfboard. Regal's shoulders are down, but not counted. He lets THAT off,
and locks on a chinlock. VICIOUS (I mean that) chops by Pillman. Nice sequence
ending with a type of rana for Pillman. Regal roll gets 2. More submission
holds. Man, Brian WANTS to fly so bad, but Steve keeps grounding him. Tony even
brings that up. (Yeah, it’s called psychology. Look into it, 1999 me) Brian
breaks a hold with punches, then tries a back drop, and Regal locks ANOTHER
submission hold. Oh screw you Regal! They make the 15 minute time limit very
noted to everyone. That becomes important. Pillman fights back, and Regal pulls
the tights down. Roll up for 2, and another hold by Regal. Kind of a full
nelson on the mat. Regal hammers, and Brian fires back, and hammers him in the
corner. Pillman will not go down. Regal likes to uppercut, huh? Pillman with a
nice drop-kick. Pillman then gets a flip out of a crab, and they both lie on
the mat. Enzuguri by Pillman. Attempted sunset flip by Brian, and he tosses him
off. Regal leaps off the 2nd rope, and gets drop-kicked. Crowd is INTO this.
Backdrop by Pillman. Both guys fly to the floor, and Pillman decks the manager
to a huge pop. Back in the ring and time expires out of a suplex. Regal
retains. ** 1/2. (Again, overrated it)
- WCW Tag titles, Chicago
Street Fight, The Nasty Boys (ch.) vs. Cactus Jack and Maxx Payne: The WCW
tag belts are cool. Mick with a superdad shirt. He's just too cool. Everybody
fights on the ramp to start. Payne and Saggs do ONE move in the ring, and go to
the floor. Knobbs viciously beats Cactus with a pole. Hard shot to the railing
on Saggs. Jack with stiff shots, and goes postal on Knobbs. Cactus clothesline
follows. HOLY CRAP chair shot onto Payne. Then on Cactus. This is SO ECW. Crowd
loves this. The faces beat the shit out of the Nasties next. Big elbow by Payne
on Jerry. Then another. On the ramp Knobbs takes Cactus to town. In the ring
Saggs nails Cactus with a pole. This is shortly after the ear loss, BTW. Payne,
and Saggs fight down the isle. Nice bumping by Cactus. Knobbs and Maxx go to a
souvenir stand. Yeah, a stand where fans AREN'T allowed. That'll sell. Split screen shows us
lots of brawling. Jack with a hard chair to Jerry's head. Payne slams Knobbs
through a table of toys and such. He then makes him eat a Nasty Boy's shirt.
Cover by Maxx get 2. Brian using a wooden pole, and Cactus takes a HARD bump
over the railing by Saggs. Everyone's at the stand, and they break the stand.
Vicious table shots by Jerry to Cactus. Back to the ramp they go, and Knobbs
covers Payne for 2. Jack and Saggs on the ramp, and Jack with a neckbreaker.
Cactus sets the table up, then suplexes the table on Jerry. Really cool. He
sets it up again, and Knobbs nails Cactus with the shovel, ultra stiff. Payne
goes nuts with the shovel on Knobbs, and Jerry/Cactus try a piledriver on the
table, but it breaks from the weight. Brian covers Maxx. Cactus falls off the
ramp *HEAD FIRST* to the floor in a holy shit moment. Saggs kills him with a
shovel for 3. Cactus IS THE MAN. Saggs then beats the hell out of Maxx with the
table, and chucks the shovel at Jack again. Sick. **** 3/4. Amazing match. (I
know this match is pretty universally loved, but it just doesn’t hold up for me
today. I’d probably stick around my ** ½ BUExperience rating, though perhaps
it’s due a rewatch)
- WCW US title match, Steve Austin (ch.) vs. The Great
Muta: Muta looks like a total ass with his hood. Austin is pretty heat less, and Parker seems
to be drawling more. What does KFC mean? Austin
gets a nice pop when he gets to the ring though. They stall to start. A lot.
Muta with headlocks to start, and Austin reaches his feet, and well, does
nothing. They just kinda stand there in a "hold." Another head lock
by Muta. A "Muta" chant starts. More stalling. Is Larry Z there? Take
down by Austin,
and he puts the boots. Criss Cross, into an abdominal stretch by Muta. Nice
sequence. More "Muta" chants. Austin
tries to reverse but Muta stops that. More stalling, Roll up by Muta for 2,
then a side headlock on the mat. Man he used to be SO good. They ponder how the
time difference effects Muta. I miss things like that. Side suplex by Steve
gets 2. Nice suplex by Muta, and drops a fist. Another Head lock, long one too.
Beautiful criss cross ends in a sweet ass Muta drop-kick followed by an
exciting headlock, switched into a head scissors by Steve. He escapes, and Austin runs to the floor.
Austin looks
funny with the blond hair. Roll up by Steve, then a drop toe hold, into a front
face lock, and Muta breaks it into a hammerlock. He rolls it in for 2. Stiff
kick by Muta, and another headlock. Parker trips Muta, and Austin kicks him to
the floor. Parker chokes him, and Austin
attacks on the floor, and goes postal. Austin
thinks he's Ernest Miller for some reason. Steve beats him on the floor some
more. Back in, and Steve puts the boots. Snapmare, and a knee drop gets 2.
Abdominal stretch by Stunning Steve, and he grabs the ropes for leverage. I
always hated that sequence, especially when Diesel used to do it to Razor
Ramon. Tony is pretty on tonight. After like an hour, Muta hip tosses out. They
trade punches, and Muta goes for a drop-kick but misses. Elbow of the 2nd rope
by Steve for a 3 2's. yeah, you read right. Austin chokes Muta on the bottom rope, and
Parker gets his licks in. Muta rams Austin
in the corner. Crowd is behind Muta all the way. Backdrop and snap suplex by
Muta. Nice drop-kick, and he s-l-o-w-l-y goes up top, and misses a drop-kick.
Nice bump. Austin with a sweet ass roll up, and
tries Hollywood
and Vine but can't. Funny lines by Heenan about it too, "He's on Hollywood and Sunset, but
not quite Vine." Stun gun by Muta gets a huge pop. Cross corner whip, and
then flipping elbow to a big pop. Man he's over. Top rope rana by Muta tares
the roof off this joint. He kicks Parker, and then backdrops Austin over the top for the DQ pissing
EVERYONE off. Cross body by Muta on both guys anyway. Crowd is *SO* behind
Muta. ** 1/2. If not for all the resting ***. (Ugh. It’s either two and a half,
or it isn’t. There’s no ‘well, if it wasn’t for all the resting…’ What’s next?
‘Well, this Kamala/Undertaker match would have been four-stars, if not for all
the bad wrestling’…?)
- WCW International World Gold Belt, Rick Rude (ch.) vs.
Sting: Sting with a major pop here. Whoa. Rude was always cool, and he has
the "world belt." Man that title is flexible to the rolled up like
that by Rude. (It was the same piece of leather from the belts inception, so yeah,
it’s worn in. For reference, most wrestling belts in that era lasted a year or
two before being replaced. Today, even less, due to Vince wanting them to pop
on HDTV) Rick does his usual shtick, and Harley Race breaks in and
challenges the winner to face Vader! Race tries to nail Sting, and gets his ass
kicked. Sting jump starts this, and gets like a 30 foot back drop on Rude, and
Rick goes to the floor, and gets suplexed. Back in, and Sting hammers. Amazing
pops for Sting. Cross corner whip, and a "whoo" from Sting. Side suplex
for 2 by Sting. Back rake by Sting, and a front face lock, then a slam and his
50 foot elbow twice. (’30 foot’ backdrop, ’50 foot’ elbow…
hyperbole much?) Sting poses, and does that elbow again! (60
feet this time!) Rick takes the ref. down, then Sting covers for 2, and
gets another front face lock. Rude gets to his feet (in the hold) and Sting
wrenches on the move. Rude stomps the feet, but no dice. Sting locks in. Rude
tries to escape, but again no dice. Repeat twice. Finally Rude lifts him and
straddles him on the ropes, and Sting falls to the floor. (I’ve definitely become more
concise in describing the holds. Today, this whole passage would probably read
as ‘Sting applies a front-facelock, but Rude powers out, and dumps him to the
outside.’) Rude follows out, and rams Sting to lots of stuff. Back in,
and Rick hammers the Back (oh the irony) and a side suplex for 2. Rude poses,
and hooks on the Sid chinlock. Rude jumps on the back, and poses more. Again
into that chinlock. Why is everyone resting so much tonight? Rude kills Stings
back (oh the irony) and the fans are distracted with something in the crowd.
Rick gets a 2 count and back into the chinlock. Sting stands with Rude on his
shoulders, and gets a victory roll for 2, reversed by Sting for 2. They trade
punches, criss cross and a sleeper by Rude. Everytime the crowd gets into this
they start to rest. Why? Even I wouldn't rest yet, and I'm not in the shape
either guy is. Punches by Rude, but Sting no sells and pulls Rude's pants down.
Atomic drops, and a punch by Sting. 3 clotheslines, and a backdrop. Rude still
doesn't bother to lift the tights. Ref. bump out of the Stinger Splash.
Deathlock is on, but no ref. Race comes out, but Sting kicks *his* ass. Vader in,
and Sting beats *his* ass too to a huge pop. Rude clips the knee, and goes for
the Rude Awakening. It takes like an hour to turn, so Rude clobbers him, and
beats him some more. He tries again, and Race comes in with a chair and
accidentally hits Rude. Sting clears Harley out, and covers. Fans count with
the ref. The place goes absolutely crazy. Whoa, they are out of their mind
popping for this guy. ***. Slow start, but boy did it pick up!
- Bunkhouse Match, Bunkhouse Buck vs. Dustin Rhodes:
Buck is hated. Again, what is KFC in terms of WCW and wrestling not the chicken
joint. Rhodes charges the ring and hammers the
hell out of Buck. Irish whip and clotheslines him out of his boot. More
punches, and a suplex by Dustin. Backdrop by Rhodes, and Dustin is just
relentless here. Parker tries to cool Buck off, but Dustin follows out and they
go toe to toe with punches. Dustin wins that BTW. Elbow down low, and back in
they go. Twink of the eye by the bookers boy (okay Flair was booking here, but
still), and he then misses a cross body to the floor. Parker gets his shots in,
and then Buck cracks a board on his back then his head. Nice selling by Dustin.
He blades, and it's a gusher baby! Dustin STILL selling the board shot. On the
ramp Buck with a 360 clothesline. Buck chokes him with his suspenders. Back in,
and Dustin does the Piper air punches. Slam by Buck, and puts the boots on.
Good blade job by Rhodes BTW. Buck works the leg pretty good, using the post,
the mat, and the side of the ring. Vicious punch by Bunkhouse, but Dustin won't
quit and kicks him from a lying down position! He's just dripping blood too. He
tosses powder in the eyes, and Buck takes his belt off, and spanks away. Man,
Dustin is a trooper taking those shots. Heenan is just on back then. Today he
sure is a sorry shadow of what he used to be. Buck kicks away and works him
over in the corner. Dustin is a mess. Buck misses a move in the corner, and Rhodes hammers him, and kicks the ribs and back. He kicks
a field goal to the back. Bionic elbow him the nose. Belt off by Dustin, and
nails him right in the face. Ouch. Stiff shots by Dustin. He take his boot off,
and beats him with *that*. He hits a boot from the 2nd rope. Buck is busted too
BTW. Rhodes decides to start whipping him, so
takes his shirt off, and whips away. Bionic elbow, and a clothesline to the
floor. Great brawl. Back in, and an atomic drop by Dustin. Atomic elbows in the
corner. 10 of 'em, as the fans count. Cross corner, and a bulldog hits hard. He
gets 2, and attends to Parker. He suplexes him in, and whips Parker with the
belt. Buck rolls him up from behind for 2, and the crowd is into this. They
trade punches, and a big punch by Rhodes to
win THAT slugfest. He gets 2 off that, and then boots Buck when he tries a
clothesline. Parker hands him something, and he decks Rhodes
for 3. *** 1/2. Great bloody fight.
- Jesse is in the back as Rude throws a tantrum. Rude is
pissed as shit. Vader and Race walk in a fight starts. Knobbs is the first guy
to break it up. Want proof this was planned? Brian stands half out of his chair
waiting to jump on Rude (before the fight starts) to stop the fight. Worst
part: Saggs in nothing but a towel. I know where the name "Saggs"
comes from now.
- Grudge Match, The Boss vs. Vader: This is such a Big
Boss Man rip, that I'm not surprised they got in trouble with the WWF. Vader's
one big, *over* bastard. Too bad he only has credibility in Japan now. They
fight right in the isle. Race holds Boss, and Vader misses a charges and nearly
kills Race. Boss hammers him to the ring, and clotheslines him over the top to
the ring. Bobby complains no one fights in the ring. Boss just beats the shit
out of Vader in the ring and out. Mostly with punches and forearms. Vader comes
back with stiff blows, and gets Boss down on the ramp. Vader slams him back in,
and actually leaps over the top from the ramp onto Boss. Whoa. Boss gets the
knee's up though. He takes the offensive, and hammers away. he actually
clotheslines the big guy to the floor, and then whips him OVER the railing.
Again, whoa. Boss slams him on the railing. Man, they have their working boots
on huh? Back in, and Boss head butts and punches. Stinger Splash by Boss, and
he slams him. Whoa for the third time here. Vader comes back ultra stiff, and
almost takes his head off. Backdrop OVER the top by Vader. Almost killed him
too. Race gets some kicks in. Vader is busted over the eye, or on the eye, I
can't tell. Suplex by Vader back in. Splash by Van Vader gets 2. They slow it
down, and Vader works him over in the corner, stiffly. Boss fights back,
missing some moves. Side suplex by Boss. Irish whip by Vader, and a criss cross
ends with a cool Boss Man clothesline. Vader with a stiff boot and clothesline
to turn the tide. Vader goes up, but Boss catches him and gets a
powerbomb/slam. Nice. They go up, and Boss Superplexes him (!!) for 2. Boss
goes back up (!!!) and hits a cross body for 2. he goes up again (!!!) and
tries another cross body, but Vader powerslams him. Crowd is into it. Vader
sets up the Vader Bomb, and hits it for 2. Whoa. Vader is gonna finish this
baby, and hits the moonsault for 3. I said "whoa" and was going
"holy crap" so many times I gotta go *** 3/4. Boss then pounds Race
and attack both Vader and Race with the Night Stick. Bonkwinkel stops it. And
they tease a fight going WAY over with the fans. *UPDATE!!! I watched it again, and I have to go *** 1/2 on re-view*
(Don’t
know why I went back to amend that, instead of just saving it for the HITMAN383
Re-Rant)
- In the back Bonkwinkel is pissed at the Boss, and takes
the stick away, then strips him of the name "The Boss." Jesse has a
"this is stupid" look on his face. He talks to Boss like he's a child
"you did a bad thing Boss. Bad boy!"
- Tony gives some history on the Flair/Steamboat match.
- Main Event, WCW World Title, Ric Flair (ch.) vs. Ricky
Steamboat: Ricky enters and they talk about Hogan other then you know, the
Dragon. Flair comes in to a great pop. I saw the 1989 one and I thought it
wasn't what is was made out to be, but still great. Lets see how this one goes.
Buffer is so gay. For some stupid reason he reads off names of officials in the
Illinois
board of sports. Yeah I really cared. He reads Steamboat from Charlotte, NC.
No the other guy, dummy. The WCW belts looks like the old WWF belt. Flair's hot
wife is ringside. (Dear lord, that was a brutal passage. It just kept getting more embarrassing
for me with each line, too) Okay, the match. They stall to start, and
Flair takes Ricky down, and then wrestle on the mat. Side headlock by Ric, and
more mat stuff. Lots of stuff ending in "lock." Flair is more over
than Steamer. Tie up, and Flair with a headlock, and then a head scissors by
Steamboat. Tie up, shoulder block by Steamboat. More stalling. They amateur
wrestle on the mat. Really boring stuff, but Tony and Bobby's stuff on history
makes up for it. They let up, and chop. Stalling again, then the tie up, sweet
criss cross sequence ending with a press slam by Ricky. A few flying head
scissors and drop-kicks put Flair out. Back in, and Rocky hits a chop off the
top for 2. Flair runs out, and moons his wife. OK, no, but he bends over in
front of her. Ric goes back in and they trade a nice up and down sequence.
Chops by Flair getting huge pops each time. Ricky comes back with hard chops of
his own. They stall MORE. Come on boys. I guess they do it to build drama but
still. Side headlock by the Dragon, and Flair tries to escape, but a nice
sequence keeps him in. Ricky wrenches it in. Cool criss cross, ends into
ANOTHER side headlock. Steamboat did it cool, kinda just dropped into it. They
go up, and fight into a few 2's for Steamboat. Another side headlock. The crowd
is really good tonight, being respectful to everyone. In the corner, and hard
chops by Flair. Snapmares, then a flying head scissors and he gets another side
headlock. Long one too. Irish whip, and some shoulder blocks by Ricky. Skin the
cat by Steamboat and he rolls Flair up for 2. SIDE HEADLOCK. This match: Cool spot,
side headlock for an hour. Repeat. The spots rule, but the headlocks are boring
as shit. Ricky keeps wrenching the hold. Knee by Flair to break. Another chop,
shoulder block, and to the front face lock. And my theory is right. The
announcers are *SO* on tonight, it ain't funny. Flair takes him to the corner,
and rams shoulders to escapes the hold. Backdrop by Steamboat, and then Flair
gets a drop-kick. More chops, and a punch that misses by a mile. More chops,
another miss by a mile punch. Snapmare by Ric, and drops the shin. Bobby makes
fun of the Dragon. Flair hammers him, but Steamboat keeps fighting back.
Snapmare to shin drop sequence again gets 2 on SEVEN attempts without stopping.
kinda like 1....2....kickout, repeat. Flair gets a back elbow, and tries tto
pin FOUR times this time. Chops by Flair, then by Dragon. Now they trade them.
Less resting, yeah! Crowd gets behind Steamer as he chops. Criss cross ends in
both guys going over the top to the floor. Attempted piledriver by Flair on the
floor, backdroped. Steamboat takes him in front of Flair's old lady, and misses
a flying cross body on the railing. Ouch. Back in, and Flair goes up, but Ricky
hammers him and follows up with a GREAT superplex for 2.999999. Flair flip, and
a chop by the Dragon to the floor. Steamboat with a SWEET chop onto the floor
from the top. More chops, and back in as Flair begs off. 20 minutes in,
according to Capetta. Steamboat gets the 10 count punch, and chops away. Flair
flop, and Ricky gets 2 (ended with a foot on the rope.) Flair tosses him out,
but he sunset flips back in, and Flair hammers so not to be rolled up. Shin
drop blocked in a sweet ass spot into the figure four. Flair kicks out at 2.
Crowd is going crazy too. Steamboat cranks it on. Flair wants the ropes, so Ricky
pulls him back. Eye poke breaks it, and Steamboat bails. Flair with an
attempted suplex into a pin by Ricky for 2. Amazing wrestling sequence and they
fight on a backslide, and Ricky gets it for a close 2. Small package by Dragon
for 2. Flair begs off, then sucker punches and chops in the corner. They both
chop all around the ring. Big one by Steamer gets Flair to the ramp. Dragon
tries to suplex him in, but Flair reverses, which Steamboat flips out of and
clohteslines/chops Ric in! Whoa! He follows, and more chops. Flair flip to the
floor. Chop attempt off the apron, but Flair lifts him foot and CONNECTS hard!
Flair goes in, and Ricky rests on the floor. He goes on the apron, and Flair
and he trade blows. Ricky goes up, and hits a super high flying cross body for
a close 2. Chop by Flair. Snapmares him over, and goes up. Steamboat chops him,
and slams him off the top. Ricky goes up, and misses a big splash. Figure four
almost on, and Ricky blocks the clamp of the leg, then Flair fights Dragon off,
and hooks it. Steamboat in pain on the mat almost pinned. Slaps by Ric. He
makes the ropes, and the crowd is really hot. Whole arena "whoo's"
with Ric. Another snapmare, and he gets cradled out of the figure four for 2.
Crowd has a heart attack. Backslide by Steamboat gets 2. More punches by Ricky,
then puts Flair up top, and chops him. He hammers, then SUPER SUPER SUPERplexes
him off. Sweet spot. After an hour, Steamer covers for 2.99999, and the crowd
freaks. Nice spot into a roll up for 2. Ricky flips out of a lock, and gets the
double chickenwing, and pulls back for 3. And a MAJOR pop. Ricky thinks he's
won, but BOTH men's shoulders were down. After confusion Flair Retains. Crowd
is mixed but pops when they raise Flair's hand. Steamboat is *PISSED*. Begging
was boring as hell, but it heats up like an oven. **** 1/2. (Though
most of this shoe has wildly different ratings than the BUExperience, this
match is actually exactly the same)
- Bottom Line: Really a great show. Everyone was on, and
nothing was bad. The lowest thing I called was ** 1/2 for Pillman/Regal and
Austin/Muta which still were okay matches. The Tag Match is wild, the Main
Event is amazing and nothing in between is bad.
HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION!
(This one is pretty embarrassing for me to read today, but sometimes
when I look at my feet, I understand that the heel comes before the toe, depending,
of course, on what angle I’m looking at it. And what I mean by that, because I understand
that not everyone is poetic, or even studied basic anatomy, is that you have to
understand your past to understand your future, and before that, your present.
And this is my past… my “heel,” if you will )
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