WWE Survivor Series (November 2016)

Original Airdate: November 20, 2016

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada; Your Hosts are Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, and David Otunga

Opening Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team RAW (Charlotte, Sasha Banks, Bayley, Alicia Fox, and Nia Jax) v Team SmackDown Live (Becky Lynch, Carmella, Alexa Bliss, Naomi, and Natalya): Nattie is a last minute addition after Nikki Bella was injured (kayfabe) before the match. I'm torn, because Team RAW has the better wrestlers, but Team SmackDown has the prettier girls. Fox starts with Carmella, and quickly snaps off a dropkick, then a bridging northern lights suplex for two. Carmella fires back with a very nice headscissor takedown to setup a bronco buster for two, and the camera suddenly starts focusing on the RAW team, in the middle of a sequence. I'm assuming someone in the production truck messed up there. End result is Bayley and Becky tagging in anyway, but Charlotte wants to take care of business herself, and forces a tag in. Sasha then does the same (well, she is the Boss), and the three teammates start arguing, allowing Becky to attack, and resulting a in a brawl breaking out between all ten ladies. The RAW team gets the better of that, until the dust settles on Sasha and Becky. Becky schoolgirls her for two, but Banks hooks a backslide for two. Charlotte tags herself back in (in a sloppy bit), but walks right into a pair of armdrags, and a sunset cradle. Dis-Arm-Her, but Charlotte is in the ropes right away, and tags out to Nia. That's one big ass, folks. She destroys Becky with ease until she's forced to tag out to Carmella - who promptly gets destroyed as well. Over to Alexa - destroyed. Naomi? Destroyed. Natalya? Destroyed. Jax doesn't bother actually, you know, pinning any of them, though. Tag back to Fox (why?), but Carmella misses another bronco buster, and a sloppy axekick sends her home at 6:25. Alexa rushes in and nails Alicia right after the fall, and the Twisted Bliss quickly polishes her off at 6:45. In comes Charlotte, but Alexa is feisty, and fights her off, so Charlotte passes back to Jax. Naomi comes in and knocks her to the floor for a flying bodypress, but gets tossed into the post, and she's counted out at 7:00. Dust settles on Sasha and Alexa next, and Bliss manages to crazy her down, then tags Nattie in for some abuse in the corner. Banks fights off all three SmackDown gals in the corner, but Bliss prevents her from hitting a lungblower on Nattie, and Nattie schoolgirls her at 10:20. Nattie pops Charlotte with a discus forearm and a nice release German suplex, but gets clotheslined in the corner. Charlotte goes up for the moonsault, but Natalya brings her down with a sitout powerbomb for two. Sharpshooter looks to finish, but Charlotte gets the ropes, and blasts Nattie with a running big boot at 12:00. Really short, but a good little segment between these two. Becky and Alexa get into a fight over who gets to go next, but quickly unite to deal with an incoming Nia. They double up on her (with zero assistance from her RAW teammates), and sloppy tandem DDT gets two, before Lynch Dis-Arms-Her at 13:40. Nia flips out over it and kicks Becky's ass on the way out, allowing Charlotte to blast little Alexa with a big boot at 14:00. Becky's literal 'oh fuck' reaction upon realizing she's now alone is pretty funny. Charlotte wrecks her in the corner, but Becky blocks the Figure Eight, and starts throwing clotheslines. A leg lariat sets up an exploder suplex, and a flying legdrop follows for two. Tag to Bayley with a quick somersault cradle for two, so Becky tries slugging back, and manages an exploder suplex for two. Legdrop hits, but a second misses, and Bayley hits a seated clothesline for two. Becky tries for the Dis-Arm-Her, but gets countered with a vertical suplex. She tries again, but Bayley is in the ropes, and she snaps off the Bayley-to-Belly at 17:30.
Survivors: Charlotte, Bayley
I was kind of surprised they sacrificed Jax to a submission hold instead of letting her get DQ'd or something, but the rest of the booking was fairly predictable. The match was a bit too schizophrenic for my tastes, but it certainly wasn't boring, with a fast pace and zero resting. * ¾

WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Miz v Sami Zayn: If Zayn wins, he takes the title back to RAW. Feeling out process to start, with Zayn dominating. A magistral cradle gets him two, and a leg lariat sends Miz to the outside, so Maryse runs a distraction, and Miz is able to pull his challenger to the outside. He tries a whip into the rail, but Sami springboards onto it for a moonsault press, so Maryse gets involved again, and Miz clips the knee. Miz with a flying axehandle on the way back in, and he starts working the leg. Sami fires back with some chops in the corner, but Miz escapes a ten-punch, and swipes at the knee again to knock Zayn off the middle rope. Miz keeps hammering the knee, but misses a charge, and goes over the top. Sami tries a dive, but the knee slows him down, and Miz is able to sweep him from the floor, then bash the leg into the post a couple of times. In, Miz tries a figure four, but Sami blocks, and manages to fire off a clothesline. Zayn is doing a tremendous and consistent job of selling the leg here. Another clothesline knocks Miz over the top, and this time Zayn manages a somersault plancha, and inside, a michinoku driver gets two. Side suplex, but Miz counters to the figure four - only for Sami to counter back with an inside cradle for two! Miz with a DDT for two, and he follows up with a series of three cross corner dropkicks on a battered challenger, then punctuates it with a cross corner clothesline. Another flying axehandle, but Sami counters with the blue thunder bomb for two - the offensive move aggravating his knee, and stopping him from performing the Helluva Kick. That allows Miz to go for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Zayn counters with a victory cradle for two, then sends him into the turnbuckles with an exploder suplex. He powers through the Helluva Kick, but Miz dodges, and immediately slaps on a figure four! Things look bleak for the challenger, but he manages to reverse into the ropes. Miz punishes him with a series of kicks, but Sami ducks a big roundhouse and applies his own figure four! That seems like a bad idea on a bad knee, brother. Miz struggles, so Maryse rings the bell - tricking Sami into thinking he's won, and allowing Miz to schoolboy him to retain at 14:05. Can I just stop and say how much I hated that finish? I mean, Zayn spends the entire match selling the ever-loving FUCK out of the knee, and Miz spends the entire match doing a brilliant job of suitably destroying him, only to end when Maryse tricks Sami into slipping on the proverbial banana peel. Would it have killed them to simply have Miz reverse the figure four, and have the knee give out? Honestly, the spot with Sami fighting through the pain but missing the Helluva Kick and getting pinned would have been a very satisfying finish too, instead of being used a near fall. Major points deducted for that ending. *** ¼

Ten Tag Team Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team RAW (The New Day, The Shining Stars, Enzo & Cass, Sheamus and Cesaro, and Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson) v Team SmackDown Live (Heath Slater and Rhyno, The Usos, The Hype Bros, American Alpha, and Breezango): Big E starts with Fandango, but Fandango is more interested in making it rain than wrestling, and New Day end him with the Midnight Hour at 0:45. Unfortunately for Kofi Kingston, he takes too long celebrating, and eats a superkick from Jey Uso at 1:10. Not wasting any time here, I see. The dust settles on the RAW team working over Jey, but he gets the tag off to Zack Ryder, and Zack flapjacks Epico. Tag to Mojo Rawley for some dance related offense, and a three-point stance gets two, but Epico dropkicks the knees. Tag to Primo to send Mojo into the RAW corner for some abuse, but he manages to get the tag - only for Ryder to run into the Magic Killer from Gallows and Anderson at 5:20. Those cool tights won't save you now, Zacky! American Alpha come in with a blitz, but Chad Gable runs into a forearm from Gallows, and gets destroyed in the RAW corner. The Shining Stars actually work a chinlock into this to prove to everyone just why they suck, but miss a tandem move, and Jason Jordan gets the tag - Alpha putting Primo away with the Tech Fall at 8:10. A brawl breaks out between all the remaining participants from there, with everyone ending out on the outside for a dog pile sequence. In the ring, Jordan overhead suplexes Sheamus, but runs into a giant swing from Cesaro. Gable saves with a nice German suplex, and everyone ends up outside for another dog pile - only for Jordan to eat a Magic Killer at 10:40. Slater rushes in with a high knee on Anderson, and a superkick on Gallows, but he eats a spinebuster, and Sheamus tags in. The RAW team work Heath over, but a miscommunication between Gallows and Enzo allows the tag to Rhyno - Gallows eating a Gore at 12:30. Cass charges right in with a big boot to setup the Bada Boom Shakalaka, however, and it's goodbye SmackDown champions at 13:00. I almost forgot the Usos were still in this. They didn't, however, and they put Enzo away with a superkick/flying splash combo at 13:30. That leaves only two teams, and Sheamus tries the Brogue Kick on Jey, but misses. That allows the tag to Jimmy Uso for a tandem superkick, but Cesaro saves. They've completely abandoned tags at this point, and we've just got a brawl going on. Sheamus hits Jimmy with White Noise off the top rope, but Jey dives with a flying splash onto him as soon as they land, so Cesaro saves at two. Now, despite no one making a tag in forever, Cesaro suddenly goes back to the apron, and waits with his hand outstretched. Why? He's a haus of fire, and an extended giant swing sets up a sharpshooter on Jey, but Jimmy saves again. That allows Jey to counter into a half-crab, but Cesaro counters back to the sharpshooter. Cue Jimmy again, but this time Sheamus cuts him off with the Brogue Kick, and Jey taps at 18:55.
Survivors: Cesaro and Sheamus
This was really breakneck pacing compared to the ten-team matches from the first two Survivor Series shows in '87 and '88, wasn't it? Like the opener, this got better once it settled down into only a couple of teams (the final segment with Sheamus/Cesaro and the Usos was terrific), but didn't really work for me as an overall match. But, also like the opener, it wasn't boring. ** ¼

WWE Cruiserweight Title Match: Brian Kendrick v Kalisto: If Kalisto wins, he takes the title to SmackDown. Brian charges right into a rana to start, and he gets sent to the floor for a somersault plancha! Back in, Kalisto flies with a springboard bodypress for two, and a springboard corkscrew backelbow gets two. Kendrick throws a leg lariat to slow his challenger down, and adds a side suplex for two. Sliced Bread, but Kalisto blocks, and victory cradles him for two - reversed by Brian for two. Kendrick with a schoolboy for two, so Kalisto responds in kind, for two. Kalisto headscissors him into the corner to setup a corner dropkick, so Brian hides out in the ropes, and suckers his challenger into getting schoolboyed into the turnbuckles! Brian pulls him out of the ring, sandwiching Kalisto between the steps and post for a shot, but Kalisto beats the count in, and gets pounded on the mat for his efforts. Snap suplex gets two, and Kendrick applies a cravat, but Kalisto fights free, and dropkicks Brian out of the ring. They slug it out on the apron, and Kendrick gets reversed into the post, allowing Kalisto it take him to the floor with a Spanish fly! That's an awesome spot, especially if you've never seen it before. Back in, it's worth two, and Brian wisely bails to the floor before the challenger polishes him off. Kalisto dives after him with a tope, then drags the champion back in, but gets crotched on the top turnbuckle while trying a dive. Kendrick looks to bring him down with a side superplex, so Kalisto tries countering with the Salida del Sol off the top, but Brian counters with a nasty Captain's Hook off the top! Nuts! Kalisto gets the ropes, however, and manages to fire off a kick combo to stagger the champion. Rolling fireman's carry slam sets up a 2^nd rope flying inverted seated senton, and a kneeling rana follows. Salida Del Sol only gets two, however, so Kalisto goes up, but in runs Baron Corbin to attack him both men, giving Brian the win by DQ at 12:25. Ugh, another terrible ending in a title match tonight. I wasn't surprised that they kept the IC title on SmackDown (since RAW already has the US Title), but I thought the cruiserweight's moving was all but a sure thing. Guess not. Good thing I'm not a betting man. Lots of crazy spots here, but they failed to properly connect with the crowd, and again, major points off for that horrible finish. ** ¾

Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team RAW (Kevin Owens, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Chris Jericho, and Braun Strowman) v Team SmackDown Live (AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose, Randy Orton, Bray Wyatt, and Shane McMahon): We haven't seen some of these dream combinations in literally months! Owens starts with Styles, and they feel each other out, which quickly devolves into a slugfest. Both guys miss several signature moves, until an annoyed Owens passes out to Jericho. Chris pounds AJ, but gets cocky (I was shocked too), and runs into a dropkick. He passes out to Rollins (and his awesome hybrid t-shirt), but Dean isn't in the mood, and gives him Ambrose instead. They feel each other out, and much like the initial sequence, it ends in both guys avoiding each others signature moves. Chris tags himself back in, and manages to get Dean down with an enzuigiri for two, but none of his partners are in the mood to tag in. That allows Ambrose to reverse a turnbuckle smash, and unload a ten-punch count before passing out to Shane. McMahon slugs Chris until he falls out of the ring, then hits a jumping backelbow as soon as Jericho climbs back in. Shane with a pair of armdrags, but a corner charge his boot, and Jericho nails him with a 2^nd rope missile dropkick. Owens seems intent on playing Shawn Michaels at the 1994 Survivor Series tonight, and it's hilarious. Tag to Seth with a snap suplex for two, then over to Roman to help him with a wishbone. Just in time for Thanksgiving! The RAW guys work Shane over, but he manages to backdrop Rollins, and gets the tag to Ambrose. Dean comes in hot on Owens, and knocks him to the outside for a tope, then back in for something off the top, but Kevin dodges, and superkicks him. Pop-Up Powerbomb is countered to the Dirty Deeds, but Jericho interferes, and that triggers a (weak) brawl between both sides, with Strowman badly out of position at one point. The whole thing results in a big dog pile, until Dean turns on AJ, and eats a running powerslam from Strowman at 16:00. Braun goes after Shane next, with McMahon's attempts to stick and move not working out too well. That brings in AJ, but he gets launched over the top, in a nice bump. Orton tries to RKO the big guy, but gets denied. That brings in Bray, to try and talk Strowman down, but that doesn't work either, and he gets pounded. Unfortunately for Strowman, he gets a little too jazzy on the outside, and eats an RKO onto the announce table, which sets him up for a flying elbowdrop through it by Shane-o-Mac! AJ helps a jump McMahon back in ahead of the count, and though Strowman looks to beat it in himself, he's stopped when James Ellsworth hooks his ankle from the floor at 21:30. Poor James goes through a table near the entrance set for his efforts. Why do they have two random folding tables with generic looking pizza boxes stacked on them there anyway? It begs so many questions! I don't want to trigger any conspiracy theories, but I should note that there's also an empty bottle of Gatorade there as well! Could it be the same person who left the bottle of Gatorade underneath the ring at Clash of Champions?!?! What is the purpose of these bottles? Is Big Energy Drink somehow tied up with Big Pepperoni in all of this?! HOW HIGH DOES THIS GO?!?! I won't be sleeping tonight, that much is for sure. Meanwhile, the RAW team cut the ring in half on the still battered McMahon, but Jericho misses a flying splash, and AJ gets the tag. He comes in hot on Chris, and the fireman's neckbreaker gets two. Clash, but Jericho counters to the Walls, countered back by AJ to the Calf Crusher. Jericho escapes and goes back to the Walls, but AJ counters with an inside cradle for two, then goes back to the Clash, so Kevin comes in with the list for the save, and gets DQ'd for using the clipboard at 29:30. Okay then. He gives AJ a powerbomb on the way out, as poor Jericho mourns the disorganization of his precious list, and eats an RKO at 30:15. Seth comes in all fired up, but runs into a well executed powerslam for two, and Randy passes out to Wyatt. Bray quickly hits an avalanche for two, then back to Randy with a vertical superplex. That hurts him as much as it does Seth, however, and Rollins is able to get the tag to Roman before Orton can cut the ring in half. Reigns passes out Samoan drops to everyone, and AJ eats a sitout crucifix powerbomb for two. Superman Punch, but AJ counters with an enzuigiri, and he manages a tag to a still woozy McMahon. Shane does his best with a floatover DDT, but Reigns Spears him out of the air as he goes Coast to Coast, and Shane is ruled unable to continue at 35:00. He couldn't eat a pinfall? I mean, I understand protecting guys like Strowman or Owens with countouts or disqualifications, but Shane McMahon? Really? The SmackDown team cut the ring in half on Reigns, but Bray runs into the Superman Punch on a charge, and Seth gets the tag. He nails Styles with the 2^nd rope somersault neckbreaker, and a flying high knee follows. Seth stops to hit Wyatt with a tope before vertical superplexing Styles, then floating over into a falcon arrow for two. Orton saves, so Seth tries a tope on him as well, but Randy blocks with a forearm. That earns him a beating from Reigns on the outside, but Styles saves Randy from going through a table. That brings Dean Ambrose back out to attack AJ, however, and the Shield reunites to powerbomb him through an announce table - allowing Seth to pin him at 42:30. That leaves it two-on-two, but then Luke Harper shows up, and the SmackDown guys attack as he distracts Seth and Roman. That leads to a big brawl, and Seth takes Bray down with a sling blade, then takes Harper out with a nice somersault plancha! Back to finish Wyatt with a flying frogsplash, but Orton pops in with the RKO as Seth soars - Bray scoring the pinfall at 46:00. That was a cool callback to their WrestleMania 31 match there. Roman is all by his lonesome now, but he doesn't let that stop him from bringing the fight to the two remaining SmackDown guys. He controls a brawl on the outside, and hits Wyatt with the Drive-By, then Spears Harper for good measure. That allows Wyatt to try the Sister Abigail, but Roman counters with the Superman. Spear, so Wyatt shoves Orton into the flight path, and hits a dazed Reigns with Abigail at 52:55.
Survivors: Randy Orton, Bray Wyatt
Not a bad match, but far too long. ***

Main Event: Brock Lesnar v Goldberg: Stare down to start, and Brock tries to establish dominance early by knocking Goldberg into the corner, but Goldberg shoves him onto his ass! He won't be intimidated! Spear hits out of nowhere, and another one follows - setting up the Jackhammer for a quick pinfall at 1:26. So much for 'fantasy warfare.' Even in the videogame, no way you're beating Lesnar that quickly. The funny thing is, a frequent criticism I have of many modern WWE matches is that they are too much like videogames, with lots of big spots, and lots of finishers, but not necessarily a lot else holding them together. Then you have this one, which was literally promoted as being like the videogame come to life, and they book it more like a UFC or boxing match. Now, I have a WWE Network subscription, so it's hard for me to feel particularly ripped off by any single show, but I can only imagine how someone who bought a ticket because of this match, or paid to order it on pay per view must feel. DUD

BUExperience: I don’t think it is overstating the case to say that this is one of the worst pay per views I have ever seen. It isn’t the worst officially speaking in that everything is decent, and there are no negative star matches, but that’s little praise. It’s still a mind numbing three and a half hours of bad finishes, perplexing booking, uninspired performances, and disappointment

DUD