WWF Monday Night RAW (December 2, 1996)

Original Airdate: December 2, 1996 (taped November 18)

From New Haven, Connecticut; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

Flash Funk v Goon: Vince dancing along to Funk's music is... something. He was always a big dork, but never more so than in 1996. Goon attacks before the bell, and a bodyslam sets up an elbowdrop. Snapmare sets up a chinlock, but Funk fights him off, and uses a nice sunset cradle for two. Goon cuts him off with a clothesline and works an armbar, but he misses another elbowdrop, and Flash works his own armbar. Standing dropkick knocks Goon to the outside, and Funk dives with a 2^nd rope bodypress on the floor. Goon goes to the eyes to buy time, but he misses a charge against the post, and Flash dives again with a flying moonsault press out there. Inside, Funk his a twisting legdrop for two, and he grounds Goon in an armbar again, but it's in the ropes. Goon with a vertical suplex to set up a 2^nd rope elbowdrop for two (and a really shitty one at that), followed by a bicycle kick. Funk fights him off and tries another flying moonsault press, but Goon dodges him this time, and uses an earringer. Corner charge misses, however, and Flash uses a side suplex to set up the tumbleweed at 6:34. This was energetic and well paced, though a lot of the execution was lacking. But the smart marks in the front row give Flash a standing ovation, of course, since he used to wrestle for ECW. * ¼

Last Wednesday in London England Steve Austin was causing a ruckus

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Back on RAW in July 1993, Tiny Tim (the musician) appeared on the King's Court. He recently passed away, so here's Jerry Lawler to make fun of him some more!

Phineas Godwinn v 'Diesel': Jim Ross joins us for commentary on this one. The stock music they shoehorn in over Don't Go Messin' with a Country Boy is especially bad. Diesel pounds him into the corner right away, and a cross corner whip rebounds Godwinn into a clothesline, as Lawler keeps cracking jokes at Tiny Tim's expense. Was there even any reason for this? Like, he made a one-off appearance over three years before this, what's the point of cracking jokes about him now, days after his death? Like, even if they hated working with him, or something, it just seems so mean spirited and uncalled for. Diesel keeps dominating Godwinn, as Lawler wonders what it would be like to see 'Diesel' and 'Razor' as tag team champions. Yeah, what would that look like? Godwinn makes a comeback and tries for the Slop Drop, but Razor distracts him, and Diesel hits the Jackknife at 3:17. ¼*

Vince conducts a video conference interview with Shawn Michaels, who apparently wants to apologize for last week. Well, he should. That outfit was completely unacceptable. But instead he apologizes for not being 'defensive enough,' which is an interesting way of looking at it. At least he's a little more calm this week. He's an emotional kind of guy, and he's flamboyant, but he's still a man's man. Vince knows. Shawn's not ashamed of who he is and who he's become, and he won't apologize for it. If this segment ended with Shawn coming out of the closet it would have been groundbreaking, but as it was, it was just really weak, and tryhard

Justin Hawk Bradshaw v Jesse James: Bradshaw tries a hiptoss, but Jesse blocks, and throws jabs. Bodypress gets two, and James uses a pair of dropkicks to send Bradshaw to the outside. Bradshaw back comes in fiery with rights, and he blasts Jesse with a big boot, then hooks a magistral cradle for two. Vince is so impressed that he vows to put the WWF Title on him in eight years. Bradshaw works him over in dull fashion, but Jesse reverses a vertical suplex. Backdrop, but Bradshaw counters with a swinging neckbreaker for two, and he tries a sleeper, but James escapes with a side suplex. Bradshaw tries a piledriver, but Jesse counters with a backdrop, and he finally starts making the comeback. Lots of dancing, but Uncle Zeb trips him up as he runs the ropes, and Bradshaw hits the lariat at 5:53. This was really boring. ¼*

It's time for the semi finals of the Karate Fighters Holiday Tournament to see who will face Sable in the finals. We're scheduled to see WWF Champion Sycho Sid against Mr. Perfect, but Sid thinks the tournament is beneath him now that he's world champion, so Jerry Lawler will take his place. And Mr. Perfect is too chicken to participate (see also: left the promotion), so Todd Pettengill takes his place. Anyway, Lawler wins

Last week, Steve Austin wanted to Pillmanize Bret Hart, but Davey Boy Smith thought it was taking things too far, leading to friction between the Bulldog and other brother-in-law Owen Hart. And then last Wednesday in London England, Bulldog attacked Austin during a title match against Sid, but Bret made the save when Sid tried to Powerbomb Davey. This was a really interesting angle as it had realistic motivations. And you can see the seeds being sown for the Hart Foundation angle, though I don't think that was even in the plans yet at this point. Unfortunately all the footage from London looks like it was shot with a cell phone camera from 2004, and looks really bush-league, especially for the WWF

Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Billy Gunn v Marc Mero and Jake Roberts: Helmsley is the WWF Intercontinental Champion here. Billy starts with Jake, and bless his heart, Lawler is actually trying to get the damn Karate Fighters final over on commentary. Billy tries working the arm, but Jake fights him off with a hiptoss. DDT, but Gunn hits the deck, and bails to regroup. Meanwhile, Jesse James pops up on the split screen to challenge Bradshaw and Uncle Zeb to a Handicap match next week. Helmsley tags in, but gets caught in a wristlock, and Jake passes to Marc, but HHH dives for a tag to Billy before Mero can grab him. Gunn stalls on the outside, and eats a kneelift for two once he comes in. Tag to Jake, so Billy goes to the eyes, and it's back to Helmsley. Roberts immediately tags Marc in, and this time Mero manages to pound HHH in the corner a little before Billy can intervene. This match has got zero flow thus far. I get the storyline of HHH being afraid of Mero, but the work isn't coming together. Dust settles on Jake holding Billy in a hammerlock, as Lawler is STILL on about Tiny Tim. Seriously, drop it. The babyfaces cut the ring in half on Gunn in a weird play on the standard tag formula, but Billy manages to counter Jake's DDT with a backdrop, and get the tag off to Hunter. The heels work Jake over, and even the announcers sound bored with this thing already. Jake finally drops Billy with a DDT, and he may have been all washed up, but damned if the DDT couldn't still be counted on to draw a pop. Hot tag to Mero, and Roseanne Barr the door. Heel miscommunication spot ends in Billy walking out on the match, and Mero hits Hunter with a Samoan drop to set up the Wild Thing at 12:10. Well, I think Hunter and Billy made up eventually. DUD

BUExperience: Another weak episode this week, with many of the worst characters and gimmicks of the era all on full display.

Monday Night Wars Rating Chart

	12/2/96
Show	RAW	Nitro
Rating	2.3	3.4
Total Wins	17	40
Win Streak		23
Better Show (as of 11/25)	18	36