WWF Superstars (June 6, 1992)

Original Airdate: June 6, 1992 (taped May 19)

From Lexington, Kentucky; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Mr. Perfect

Bret Hart v Tom Stone: Hart's WWF Intercontinental title is not on the line tonight. I always loved the way Bret would kiss a title belt before giving it away to the referee, even in a non-title match like this one. Wonder if he used to kiss his various gals the same way before leaving town for the next show too. Stone looks like one of those dudes you'll see putting away a big stack of pancakes alone at a diner at 1:00am. He's terrible too, not taking stuff right throughout, and even almost fucking up getting locked in the Sharpshooter. Which finishes at 1:33. They're still building to Hart defending against Shawn Michaels at SummerSlam here, but obviously that wouldn't be the case or much longer. DUD

Gene Okerlund reviews last weeks debut of Nailz, where he brutally attacked Big Boss Man. I get why they used to do these flashbacks, and they were certainly very effective, but when you have the benefit of being able to binge watch the episodes, they're kind of annoying. Anyway, that leads to a promo from Nailz, who promises that last week was the first in a long line of beatings. Literally everything about this man's behavior just screams 'parole violation'

The Nasty Boys v Reno Riggins and Major Yates: Weird that the Network's preview thumbnails show the jobbers for each of the matches on this show. High Energy pop in to cut a promo on split screen during the match, and honestly, no wonder that team never got over. 80% of their promos so far have just been them screaming "we're High Energy!" Like, okay, we know, fuck off. The Boys put Yates away with a running powerslam/flying elbowdrop combo at 1:55. DUD

WBF will be holding their championships on pay per view next Saturday, and it will be 100% drug free! Well, that explains the buyrate then. Who could enjoy that crap without a shitload of drugs?

Kerry Von Erich v Mike Collins: Kerry looks like he's in a different world at this point, poor guy. Like, he looks like he's sleepwalking his way to the ring, and stopping to kiss every girl he sees is coming off especially creepy here. He also just looks like total shit, and even trips over himself while finishing with the Discus Punch at 1:14. This made me sad. DUD

Mountie is in a singing mood. Shocking. Anyway, he's still got a hard on for Sgt. Slaughter

Virgil is all about the self high five this week. When DDP did it, it looked cool. When Virgil does it, it feels like we're watching his masturbate

The Beverly Brothers v Mike Samples and Scott Bailey: Some kid in the crowd has on Legion of Doom shoulder pads, so the Brothers go out and steal them away from him - painting 'LOS' on them. See, for 'Legion of Sissies.' The kid was probably a plant, but his reactions were great regardless. There's also another kid in the crowd with a big 'Beverly Sister' sign that he sticks right in their face during their antics, but he gets completely ignored. Poor little guy was trying so hard there. Shaker Heights Spike finishes at 1:05. ¼*

Tito Santana believes he may be in the race for the WWF Title. Yeah, good luck with that one, pal

Kamala wants to take over the WWF. Maybe call out guys that aren't Jim Duggan and Kerry Von Erich, then. Just a thought

Crush v George Anderson: No old school commentator got worked up about 'agility' quite like Vince. Sometimes I can hear him going on about Yokozuna's agility in my dreams. Crush also pops in on split screen mid-squash to give us his pick for the winner of the WBF Championship, so you know shit just got real. Crush with the head vice at 1:26. Nothing much, but Crush was so agile! ½*

Gene Okerlund brings Papa Shango out for a podium interview to talk about Ultimate Warrior, but Shango gets annoyed with all the questions about his voodoo powers, and makes Gene bleed black blood. Or 'evil goo,' as Vince calls it. Well, maybe if Okerlund just let the poor man practice his religion in peace, this wouldn't have happened to him. Hopefully he's learned his lesson once and for all, the intolerant prick. This was goofy as all hell, but I still think the Shango character had legs as far as getting over as a heel in a product aimed at children

High Energy v Kato and Kevin Kruger: Hey, did you know these guys are called 'High Energy?' It's sad that this probably would have been Owen's ceiling too, if the business hadn't gone in the crapper and made Vince more open to taking a chance with him. And I don't think we would have fared much better in WCW either, since he did a quick run there in '91 which went nowhere fast. Energy with a tandem backdrop on Kevin, and a bearhug/2^nd rope dropkick combo finishes at 2:25. Finish looked sloppy as hell. 1/4*

Repo Man v Dan Robbins: Repo stalls on the outside, and the stupid jobber actually turns his back, allowing Repo a sneak attack. I'm not even sure I'd call it a 'sneak' attack, since the Robbins is just a total moron. He's like the homers in Zombieland 2. Repo with a half-crab at 1:35. DUD

The Legion of Doom have lots of hard ons this week. It's kind of funny that the Beverly Brothers have been spending all their time trying to get the LOD's attention, yet LOD barely even acknowledge them. Power

WWF Tag Team Champions Money Inc are class all the way, and won't be giving up that lifestyle just because the Natural Disasters want the belts. Wait, what? I mean, I get wanting to be the champions, but Ted DiBiase has always been portrayed as independently wealthy. Since when is he relying on the purse money to try and afford himself a certain lifestyle? Actually, that would be an interesting gimmick, with a guy (or team) who live beyond their means, and desperately want to keep hold of a title in order to keep living a certain lifestyle

BUExperience: I’m still all in on watching/reviewing these, but man, you really need a feature match in there somewhere. Or, at the very least, a major angle. This one was pretty rough.