WWF Monday Night RAW (December 23, 1996)

Original Airdate: December 23, 1996 (taped December 16)

From Tampa, Florida; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Jerry Lawler

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Hunter Hearst Helmsley v Marc Mero: If HHH is counted out or disqualified, he loses the title. Goldust watches from the crowd, as he's now been announced as top contender to the title for the Royal Rumble. Mero sneak attacks while HHH is distracted by Goldust's presence, and Hunter bumps all over the place for him. They end up on the outside, where Mero decides to stop and chase Lawler off (King disappearing for the rest of the night), and that allows Helmsley to recover with a clothesline on the floor. He adds a bodyslam out there, and inside, it's chop time, but Mero turns the tables. Marc with an overhead armdrag, and a cross corner whip sets up a corner clothesline. Hunter dumps him to the outside to buy time, but wastes it posing, and Mero attacks. Helmsley dumps him to the outside a second time, as Goldust and Marlena continue to observe. Couldn't they have at least gotten better seats? I get that Sting was a hot character for WCW, but I don't think putting your stars in the cheap seats was the trick that made it work. Helmsley with a baseball slide, and we get a pinfall reversal sequence on the way back in - ending in Hunter clobbering him with a clothesline. HHH with a hanging vertical suplex to set up a kneedrop for two, but a tilt-a-whirl backfires when Mero uses a headscissors takedown. Mero with a kneelift and a flying dropkick for two, and a cross corner whip rebounds Hunter into a Samoan drop. Flying moonsault press, but HHH dodges, and the Pedigree finishes at 6:35. Wow, totally clean. Like, not even a distraction, or anything. This was totally solid, if completely unspectacular. Afterwards, Helmsley grabs a microphone, promising to make Goldust into a real man at the Rumble. That doesn't faze Goldust, but when HHH promises to show Marlena what it's like to be with a real man, that gets his attention, and Goldust chases the champ off. I'm not really feeling this Goldust face turn yet, but at least it's a direction. ** ¼

Last week, Bart Gunn may have crippled brother Billy. Thank God Vince never went into medicine. "Billy allegedly has no feelings in his lower limbs." Oh

And now, a Christmas carol about Sycho Sid. Why Sid, though? Like, I get that he's the champion, but maybe try a babyface?

Rocky Maivia v Salvatore Sincere: Sunny is out for guest commentary here. Apparently Sincere is being managed by Jim Cornette, which I don't remember at all. Rocky works a wristlock, as Vince hypes up the debut of Shotgun Saturday Night. Oh man, I really wish the early episodes of that were up on the Network, because I'd review the shit out of that. Criss cross goes Rocky's way with a hiptoss over the top, so Sincere pulls him to the outside, but Rocky retains control. Cue a distraction from Cornette, and that allows Sincere to take control as they head back inside. Cross corner whip, but Rocky counters with a springboard flying tomahawk chop, and man, that looked rough. It's hard to even imagine Rock going to the top. Sincere with a sidewalk slam for two, and a chincrusher follows, as Sunny looks on with concern. Sincere with a bodyslam and a fistdrop, and a Russian legsweep is worth two. Rocky makes the comeback, and a running shoulderbreaker finishes at 5:40. This had effort, but felt like a house show match with better lighting. ¾*

Royal Rumble ad

Vince brings WWF Champion Sycho Sid out for an in-ring interview to hype up his defense against Shawn Michaels at the Rumble. Not much here

Shotgun Saturday Night. Such a cool concept that it's honestly hard to believe they tried it

The New Rockers v Pierroth and Cibernetico: Oh God, the AAA crossovers. Maybe the worst thing of this whole bad period. That, and the minis they brought in a little while later, but at least they were around when the product was crazy hot to offset it. These guys showed up right at the nadir of the entire promotion. You can tell how much I dislike this stuff when here we are, over twenty three years later, and I still can't be bothered to do play-by-play for their matches. Pierroth finishes Marty Jannetty with a flying splash at 4:49. This wasn't bad wrestling, but it just screamed desperation so loudly that you could probably hear it on the moon. *

Ross talks to Mil Mascaras, who apparently is going to be in the Royal Rumble. At age 54. And this is something they're hyping up

Bret Hart v 'Razor Ramon': Honky Tonk Man joins us for guest commentary, and even Vince is openly calling him the greatest Intercontinental champion of all time. Really? I think even fake Razor Ramon might edge him out. Feeling out process to start, dominated by Bret. Duh. Hart with a bodypress for two, and he works the arm, but Razor throws rights to escape. Turnbuckle smash, but Bret reverses, and the Hitman unloads in the corner. Ramon goes to the eyes, and a right hand puts Hart down for some stomping. Razor with a ropechoke and a cross corner whip, as the crowd sits on their hands. Bless Bret, he's trying, but this character is unsalvageable. And also not much of a worker. Ramon puts the boots to him in the corner, and he choke-tosses Hart into the corner, then pulls the hair. For a while. Like, that's not an actual move, dude. Clothesline knocks Bret to the outside, but Bret reverses a whip into the steps out there, with Razor not even bothering to take a real bump into them. Wow. Bret gives him another chance, and then posts him for good measure. Inside, Hart hits a bulldog to set up a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop, and the Sharpshooter wraps it up at 7:07. And the punk took his fucking time submitting, too! ½*

Shawn Michaels is watching the show backstage, and Vince attempts to interview him, while Shawn acts like a moody teenager. And looks like a Clerk. Hey, but at least bitchy, petulant Shawn is more interesting than stripper-for-kids Shawn that we got for most of 1996

BUExperience: Wow, so this was pretty terrible. Last week they tried a few interesting angles (even if they were mostly misfires), but this one was in total cruise control mode, and featured some of the worst aspects of the promotion from the period.

This episode actually ended up drawing RAW’s lowest rating of the entire war (hitting a depressing 1.5), and to make matters worse, Nitro didn’t drop off almost at all from their previous rating.

Monday Night Wars Rating Chart

	12/23/96
Show	RAW	Nitro
Rating	1.5	3.1
Total Wins	17	43
Win Streak		26
Better Show (as of 12/16)	19	38