WWF Superstars (June 13, 1992)

Original Airdate: June 13, 1992 (taped May 19)

From Lexington, Kentucky; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Mr. Perfect

Tatanka v Barry Horowitz: Tatanka's still got the long tights at this point. Really not a good look for him at all, and the switch to the shorter gear was a huge improvement. Barry, meanwhile, looks like he's lobbying to be Marty Jannetty's tag partner. Tatanka works him over in pretty dull fashion - including messing up a press-slam - while Rick Martel pops up on the split screen to cut a promo on him. End of the Trail finishes at 2:22. DUD

Gene Okerlund reviews all the Papa Shango voodoo stuff we've seen over the last few weeks, including last week when Shango cursed he himself. I love how casual Gene is about the whole thing. Like, 'yeah, that was weird, I'll tell ya.' Ain't no thang to Mean Gene. Ultimate Warrior is less laid back about it, though clearly Shango has gotten into his head, because he's pretty obviously reading off of cue cards here

Shawn Michaels v Graig Brown: That's not a typo. Dude spells it 'Graig.' He also may be the holy grail of pasty, pudgy, balding jobbers who look like they have no business in a wrestling ring. He makes 1992 Shawn Michaels look like he has good hair! Talk about enhancement talent! I need this guy to come out on dates with me so I look better by comparison. Teardrop Suplex finishes at 1:30. DUD

Repo Man wants to choke the Bulldog. Thank God Terry Taylor was still in WCW at this point

Kerry Von Erich vows to get back to the top, now that he's got Jesus Christ in his corner. I'm pretty sure even if Christ was resurrected just for the purpose of standing in his corner, that STILL wouldn't get poor Kerry over in 1992

Razor Ramon vignette, filmed on location on the streets of Miami. God, Miami was such a hole in the early 90s. Anyway, Ramon immediately comes off like a huge star compared to guys like Repo Man and Texas Tornado. Right away

The Natural Disasters v The Executioners: Some kid in the crowd is going to town on a Sensational Sherri ice cream bar, which may be one of the most graphic things ever aired on WWF TV prior to the Attitude Era. The Executioners try a sneak attack, but the Disasters just casually shrug them off, as the announcers hype up an article in the current WWF Magazine about their chase of Money Inc's WWF Tag Team Title. Earthquake Splash/Tidal Wave combo at 2:57. The usual slow, lumbering Disasters squash. It's a wonder that these guys ended up with the tag belts. DUD

Skinner is excited because he loves summertime. Why? You live in Florida! That's the worst time of year down there

Undertaker has no particular feelings about the summertime, but he's still a little miffed at Berzerker over the whole 'attempted murder via sword' deal from a few weeks ago. Move on, man, move on. Life's too short

Mountie v Bill Koby: Sgt. Slaughter pops up on split screen almost immediately to get his promo in. God, all the feuds they're pushing this week are just the dirt worst. No wonder business was in the toilet that year. Mountie finishes very quickly, hitting a dropkick at 1:01. Only ever seeing Mountie in his big match appearances via VHS as a kid, I never really grasped just how annoying this character is to suffer through on a weekly basis. DUD

Tonight, get your big cannon ready, because it's the WBF Championship!

Okerlund was with WWF Champion Randy Savage earlier in the day, filming an interview with the champ inside an empty arena. I've gotten so used to it that it looks totally normal to me now. The usual ranting and raving promo on Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect here

Kamala v Dale Wolfe: I'm still not quite sure why they even bothered with Kamala at this point, and the fact that they kept him around for as long as they did, and that he then got a run in WCW too still amazes me. Kamala with a splash at 1:26. DUD

On newsstands this Thursday, Wrestling Spotlight on Undertaker. I never had the Undertaker one, but man, I loved those as a kid. Great way to fill in the blanks on the history of some guys who were around before I started watching. I remember especially loving the Bret Hart one, and even trying to write my own on both Bret and Razor Ramon on my grandfather's work word processor during summer vacation, much to the chagrin of his secretary

Tito Santana v Mike Samples: The girls seem to be really into Tito. Vince seems to be really into the WBF. And since Tito doesn't really have a program to hype, he gets to split screen in on his own squash with a prediction for the WBF Championship instead. Samples takes a trip to El Paso at 1:19. DUD

Big Boss Man calls in via telephone, complete with pretty graphic images of his post-beating bruises. Makeup did a great job with that one. Anyway, he's really pissy

Nailz v Ron Cumberledge: Nailz goes right for the throat with a choke, before finishing with another kind of choke at 0:59. But who does Nailz think will win the WBF Championship?!?! DUD

Papa Shango is still calling out Ultimate Warrior. Seeing as this dude goes through full makeup just to yell some nonsense at the Warrior, makes you wonder what he busts out when Halloween comes. Like, he either goes really, really elaborate, or it's just Papa minus the makeup and skull necklace, like in jeans and a Rolling Stones t-shirt, or something

The Legion of Doom cut what I'm pretty sure is the exact same promo as last week

BUExperience: This taping must have been a nightmare to sit through, with squash match after squash match on every episode taped, with not a single featured bout in sight.