WWE Elimination Chamber (February 2021)

Original Airdate: February 21, 2021

From St. Petersburg, Florida; Your Hosts are Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, and Samoa Joe (RAW); Michael Cole and Corey Graves (Smackdown)

Opening #1 Contender's Elimination Chamber Match: Kevin Owens v Daniel Bryan v Sami Zayn v King Corbin v Jey Uso v Cesaro: Winner gets a WWE Universal title shot immediately after. Bryan doing the YES chant in an empty building is pretty depressing. Daniel and Cesaro start, and they criss cross a bunch, dominated by Cesaro. Cesaro's gear is odd in that it's not actually different than what most workers wear, but it somehow always looks more like underwear. Bryan dumps him over the top onto the platform for a dive, and a flying dropkick gets him two on the way back into the ring. Daniel takes him up for a rana off the middle, but a charge ends badly when Cesaro blocks with big clothesline for two. Bryan tries taking him down in a submission, but Cesaro powers out, so Daniel starts peppering him with uppercuts. Cesaro responds in kind, and he gets the better of the exchange simply by being European. Don't look at me, it's just science. Cesaro with a hanging vertical suplex for two, as they note that Bryan is a former five time world champion. Wow, seriously? It still feels like he's the little underdog guy, hard to believe that narrative was seven years ago. Corbin is next in, and he grabs Cesaro for a smash into one of the pods, then tosses Bryan into the side of the cage for good measure. Inside, Corbin gives both guys a Deep Six, getting a two count on each man. Sami is next in, but gets trapped in his pod by Corbin, so Bryan saves. Well, saves from Corbin, as Cesaro ends up beating the piss out of Sami both inside and outside of his pod. Hey, that's his safe space! How dare you? Corbin with a vertical superplex on Bryan, as Sami fights Cesaro off with a tornado DDT for two. This match has really died since the good stuff with Bryan/Cesaro in the opening period. Sami and Cesaro fight up to the top of a pod to fight it out for a bit, with Cesaro getting the better of it, and Zayn taking a bump down onto the platform. Looked like he landed on his knee with that one. Unfortunately for Cesaro, Corbin is waiting for him when he comes down, and Cesaro takes a pounding. He manages to fight Corbin off long enough for a giant swing into a sharpshooter, however, and Corbin is done at 17:41. Owens is next in, so Sami tries to form an alliance, but gets violently rebuffed. Kevin gets into a reversal sequence with Cesaro next, and gets the better of him with an enzuigiri. Bryan tries slowing him down with a sleeper, but Owens drops onto Cesaro with a senton splash while in the hold, covering for two. Happy to see some multi-man interactions here, instead of the two work/two sleep formula. Sami's back with a dive, but Owens dodges, and superkicks him. Kevin finds all three of his opponents in corners, setting up Cannonball spots for all. I know kayfabe is long dead, but do they have to make it so obviously phony? Owens with a neckbreaker on Sami for two, and a fireman's neckbreaker on Daniel gets two. Uso is last in, but he gets wrecked by Kevin on the way in. I wish this match would just get to the point, because we're already twenty five minutes into it, and it feels like they're not even close to wrapping up. Too bad we don't have Don Cheadle officiating tonight. Owens with a stunner on Zayn to get rid of him at 25:24. Well, at least we're going in the right direction. Uso slams the chamber door on Kevin's hand as they're clearing Sami out, and he superkicks him a bunch of times to set up a flying frogsplash at 26:42. Uso sets his sights on Bryan next, but here comes Cesaro to stop that effort. He swings Jey into the cage a few times, and goes up for a dive at Bryan, but Daniel blocks him with a kick. Bryan with a roundhouse kick for two, as the commentators tell us that this match has now crossed the thirty minute mark, as if this is some sort of achievement. Cesaro with an exploding gutbuster on Bryan, and he goes for a giant swing while only holding Daniel's bad leg, but Uso superkicks him to stop the effort. Jey adds a flying splash, and that's it for captain underpants at 32:41. Jey looks to put Bryan away with the same, but Daniel kicks out at two. Uso responds by trying another splash from off of a pod, but Bryan lifts his knees to block this time. Daniel is battered, and the block aggravated his leg injury, but he musters the strength to nail Uso with a kick to finish at 34:09. This was pretty boring, and felt like it went on forever. The first segment with Bryan/Cesaro was pretty good, the rest not so much. A big problem was that, like many multi-man matches in modern WWE, two guys were doing something, the rest were taking a nap. * ½

 

WWE Universal Title Match: Roman Reigns v Daniel Bryan: So Daniel is pretty dead, but he's got a title match right here right now, so buck up boyo. Reigns goes for the spear right away, but Daniel catches him in the Yes Lock! Roman fights free and unloads on him with mounted punches, however, and a powerbomb follows. Daniel was battered to start, and the Yes Lock attempt pretty much ate up whatever fumes he was running on, and Reigns knows it. He toys with Daniel for a bit, before choking him out at 1:31. Afterwards, Royal Rumble winner Edge pops out with a spear to put Reigns down, and he's pointing to the WrestleMania sign, so I imagine... he wants to stream Pirates of the Caribbean... or something? I'm not sure. ¼*

 

WWE United States Title Triple Threat Match: Bobby Lashley v Riddle v John Morrison: First fall wins. Lashley pounds Riddle down in the corner to start, with Morrison hilariously cheering him on, and then putting the boots to Riddle once Bobby gets tired. That actually manages to piss Bobby off, however, and John gets stomped down, then dumped to the outside. Lashley follows to ram him into the post next, but luckily Riddle shows up before Bobby can continue to overreact. He suplexes Riddle on the floor before taking him in to finish. Neckbreaker leads to a hanging vertical suplex, but Morrison springboards in to stop the effort - only for Bobby to steamroll both of them to block a double team. Both challengers bail to strategize an attack, and settle on flanking the champion. It works, allowing them to unload in the corner, but Bobby quickly fights them off. I'm loving how dominant they're letting Lashley look here. Riddle manages to send him over the top to block a charge, and Morrison capitalizes with a corkscrew suicida. Riddle adds his own dive, but John turns on him during his celebration, posting Riddle for two. Whiplash, but Riddle blocks. John tries a suplex, but Riddle blocks that as well, and lands a pele kick this time. Suplex follows, and a senton splash sets up a kick to the face. Bridging German suplex is worth two, and Bobby's back, but Riddle fights him off with a strike. Riddle goes up with a dive, but John breaks up the count at two, and hits Lashley with the Starship Pain for two. That draws MVP over, so Morrison steals his crutch, but Lashley puts John in a full-nelson before he can use it. Riddle grabs the crutch to beat Bobby off, and he pins Morrison at 8:38. This was fine. * ½

 

WWE Women's Tag Team Title Match: Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax v Sasha Banks and Bianca Belair: Jax and Belair start, and Belair spends most of her time mocking her, before hitting a dropkick. Over to Banks for a wheelbarrow bulldog, and the challengers stereo dropkick Nia right into a tag. Belair tries a handspring moonsault on Baszler, but ends up getting caught in a triangle choke, so Bianca turns it into a cradle for two. Sasha tags in for a kneesmash for two, but she runs into a clothesline from Nia on the apron, and the champions take control. They cut the ring in half on Sasha, and somehow the fake crowd is even deader than usual for this. They finally got their dream scenario of being able to control every crowd reaction and these four still can't get a pop? Sasha fights off Baszler long enough for the tag, and Belair slams her down for Banks to dive on with a flying frogsplash for two. Belair with the Kiss of Death, but Jax breaks up the pin at two. Belair unloads on her, and tries to give her the Kiss as well, but Nia's too big. Jax with a chokeslam, so Banks comes in to save, and Roseanne Barr the door. Jax with a Samoan drop on Belair, but Sasha dives in with a flying kneesmash for two, and out comes Reginald to cheer the challengers on. Little late to the party there, bro. Sasha puts Nia in the Bank Statement, but Jax has the ropes, so Reginald passes her a weapon to finish the job with. Sasha seems confused, and Jax capitalizes with a Samoan drop to retain at 9:36. Much like shit, this happened. *

 

Main Event: WWE Title Elimination Chamber Match: Drew McIntyre v Randy Orton v AJ Styles v Kofi Kingston v Jeff Hardy v Sheamus: Orton and Hardy start, and hopefully someone hid the pliers tonight. Randy dumps him out to the platform right after for a toss into a pod, as I realize that AJ looks kinda like a bootleg Matt Hardy, so hopefully Jeff is stone sober, and doesn't get confused. That would be unfortunate. Orton puts him in a chinlock less than two minutes into the match, because I guess he just can't help himself. Jeff fights him off and uses a seated dropkick to set up a splash for two, and I'm starting to not jokingly wonder if Jeff is actually sober. I mean, that splash was basically him falling on Orton with not even a little jump or pep in his step. Drew is next in, and goes right after Orton, as the announcers have the balls to call their lengthy series of matches that never broke two-stars a 'great rivalry.' There's puffing, and then there's straight up lying. You know which you're doing. Kofi is next in, and we get another 'great rivalry' lie when he goes after Orton. He hooks Randy in a cradle to eliminate him at 8:53. That looked really weird, almost like it was an accidental pin. Randy takes out his frustrations with RKOs on guys, as Omos busts AJ out of his pod so Styles can run in to try and capitalize by pinning guys off of Randy's RKO. They kick out, but good try, I respect the heeling. Drew takes control and beats on everyone, or 'has his way with' them, per the announcers. Sheamus is last in, and I think Drew wants to hug him. I don't actually think so, but I kinda hope so. I mean, as long as he doesn't 'have his way' with him. They settle for punching each other a bunch, and I don't care if you've got a 'Z' on the side of your head of not - that's not legal! Or, well, maybe it is. I'm pretty sure this is no DQ, right? Kofi climbs onto a pod and dives onto everyone for a dog pile sequence, but everyone kicks out of the resulting covers. And then he just eats a Brogue Kick from Sheamus at 23:47. That's a long ass time between eliminations. Jeff jumps on Sheamus with a Twist of Fate, and hits Drew with one as well, covering for two. One for AJ, and Jeff climbs onto a pod for a Swanton Bomb on Styles, but then decides to dive onto Drew and Sheamus on the platform instead. Back to AJ with another Swanton, and it connects - only for Drew to kill him with a Claymore at 25:31. Sheamus attacks Drew with the White Noise, but he fails to cover, so Styles dives onto Drew with a springboard flying somersault senton splash for two. Springboard flying 450 splash gets him another two, as these guys try to make my childhood actions figures blush with their ridiculous high spot kickouts. Sheamus casually beats the piss out of AJ, and he hits his fellow challenger with a flying clothesline. Brogue Kick, but Drew comes over to hit Sheamus with the Future Shock DDT to cut him off. Well, that was rude. The man was pounding his chest, and everything. What an asshole. Claymore, but Sheamus blocks - only to eat a Phenomenal Forearm from AJ at 30:25. AJ looks to polish McIntyre off with another Phenomenal, but Drew manages to gut out a Claymore at 31:20. This was pretty watchable, though also felt too long, and could have easily stood to lose at least five minutes. Afterwards, Bobby Lashley shows up to beat the crap out of Drew, and leaves him in a pile in the middle of the ring following a full-nelson. Once that's done, Bobby steps aside as Money in the Bank briefcase holder Miz shows up, and uh oh... **

 

WWE Title Match: Drew McIntyre v Miz: Yes, this is Miz's Money in the Bank cash in. DDT somehow only gets him two, but then he just kills the champ with the Skull Crushing Finale to win the belt at 0:27. Well, hey, at least it was a big surprise ending to the show. DUD

BUExperience: Is there seriously yet another pay per view between this and WrestleMania? Just get to the damn fireworks factory, already!

DUD