WWF Superstars (December 5, 1992)

Original Airdate: December 5, 1992 (taped October 27)

 

From Terre Haute, Indiana; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan

 

High Energy v Barry Horowitz and WT Jones: Black guy and a white guy versus a black guy and a white guy. Clearly 1992 was a time of racial harmony. Though, Owen Hart's attempts at dancing threaten to set back race relations by fifty years. Jones appears to be trying to evoke Bad News Brown with his gear, hairstyle, and mannerisms. Speaking of Bad News, am I the only one who was shocked at how old he was during his WWF run? Dude was pushing fifty at the time! Bearhug/missile dropkick combo finishes at 2:26. DUD

 

Yokozuna v Mark Morgan: I would not want to be the guy who had to handle Yokozuna's laundry. A guy that big, you just know he can't properly wipe. Didn't Bret Hart have a story in his book about Yoko getting the runs during a tour of India once? God help them all. Banzai Drop finishes at 2:02. 'Energetic' isn't exactly a word you'd usually associate with Yokozuna, but this was just that. ¼*

 

Crush promotes global warming. It's good to have passions

 

Razor Ramon paraphrases a bunch of shit from Scarface, and is awesome doing it

 

Max Moon v Brian Costello: Still? He doesn't do the 'rocket pack up the steps' gimmick anymore though, at least. Doink the Clown is handing out balloon animals in the crowd during this one, as the announcer speculate about him. Moon split screens in, and apparently he's from a different planet? Because that's JUST what this character was missing. Moon with a flying bodypress at 2:38. Moon was not connecting with the audience, and having a literal clown doing tricks for the crowd during his match probably didn't help. ¼*

 

Gene Okerlund is in an empty arena, where the ring is being torn down after a show, to talk about how WWF Champion Bret Hart has been tearing down the house as well. He get clips of Bret winning the Tag title at SummerSlam '90, the Intercontinental title at SummerSlam '91, and then some of his recent successful defenses of the WWF Title. I loved Hart's 'fighting champion' gimmick. It made him stand out and made him more relatable. Gene then catches up with Ric Flair in a restaurant, where the Nature Boy is literally wining and dining him. He's coming for Bret's title, though we'd never get any televised rematches. It felt like they were building towards Hart/Flair and Razor/Perfect with these shows (maybe for the Royal Rumble), but then they changed gears completely by swapping dance partners by January. I'm guessing the plan was to then move on to Perfect/Flair for WrestleMania afterwards, but then rushed it along once Flair wanted to leave for WCW

 

Kamala v Buck Zumhoff: The gimmick here is that Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee are taking a firmer hand with Kamala after his loss to Undertaker at Survivor Series. Great, though that must have been pretty confusing for this live crowd, since this was taped a month before the PPV. Kamala with a splash at 1:48. DUD

 

Reverend Slick is back with another sermon. Why is he preaching in front of a green screen church, though? Is it a COVID thing?

 

Jim Duggan v Dale Wolfe: Haven't seen Duggan in a while. I guess he's done trying to get people to vote, and can get back to doing what he does best: ____. You fill in the blank, I've got no fucking clue. Doink is back to annoy the crowd again, as Duggan polishes Dale off with the three-point stance at 1:11. DUD

 

Gene brings Nailz out for an interview, and he's all riled up about Undertaker now. Okay, I get his issue with Big Boss Man, but what did Undertaker do to him? Pass him by while he was in the ring. Nailz really needs to get out of this prison mindset of his if he wants to adjust to civilian life again. Maybe start by taking off the orange jumpsuit? Just a thought

 

Tatanka v Louie Spicolli: Tatanka's hair is super bright red tonight, so I guess he got a fresh batch of the blood of all the Indian nations before the match. The announcers go on a weird rant about Tatanka's nutritional habits, and quote Dodgeball twelve years before it was even a thing. I think Vince is from the same planet as Max Moon. End of the Trail finishes at 2:22. DUD

 

Bob Backlund is back, for all the 'boys and girls.' Again, is he TRYING to look and sound like a serial killer? Because he's doing a great job of it

 

Damien Demento is pretty demented. Well, his parents kind of doomed him to that sort of life with a name like that

 

The Nasty Boys are going to become the Choir Boys, apparently? I don't know, who gives a shit what they do

 

Shawn Michaels v John Paul: The WWF Intercontinental title is not on the line here. They advertise the merchandise catalog during the entrances, and interestingly, the sideways WWF logo that became very prevalent around 1994 already existed even in 1992. You really do learn something every day. Shawn with the Teardrop Suplex at 1:50. DUD

 

Mr. Perfect vignette. It's the one where he's really great at all sports, from way back during his initial debut in 1988. Okay then. Did they think we suddenly forgot who he was, or something?

 

BUExperience: Another nothing episode this week.