Original Airdate: June 16, 1997
From Lake Placid, New York; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jim Ross. They open by discussing the real life backstage fight between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels that took place last week (with Vince kind of blaming it on Bret), in which Shawn got hurt, and won’t be back for six weeks. So, he’s stripped of his half of the WWF Tag Team Title, and there will be a tournament to declare the top contenders, the winners of which will face Steve Austin and a partner of his choosing
WWF Tag Team Champion Steve Austin storms out to react to this news, and it's interesting hearing Ross refer to Vince as 'Mr. McMahon' at this point. Anyway, Steve is fuming about this thing, since he's fine with being tag champions all by himself. Yeah, I don't think it quite works that way, Steve. And really, what is he complaining about? If Jack Tunney was still around, he'd have vacated the title altogether, and Steve would be shit out of luck. Mankind pops up on the TitanTron to try and offer up his services as Steve's partner, since he has long hair, can put on an earring and dance around like Shawn Michaels does. Man has a point. Steve's not interested, but he is interested in the Hart Foundation, and especially kicking Brian Pillman's ass tonight. But instead of the Foundation, this draws Ken Shamrock out, and he's still all worked up about stopping bullies. Steve's 'why the fuck are you here?' reaction is pretty great. And he's right, what is Ken, the world's most dangerous hall monitor? Ken gets in his face, takes off his shirt, and... then walks away. Okay then
'Cause Stone Cold Said So home video ad. I think I had that one back in the day
Backstage, Brian Pillman is still upset over the whole swirly attack at King of the Ring, and he's ready for Austin tonight. And apparently, the Foundation will all be handcuffed to the ring posts during the match, like they were supposed to be for the originally scheduled Hart/Michaels match at King of the Ring. I guess the return-by date had passed on those handcuffs, and really, who needs that much store credit to a sex shop?
The New Blackjacks are new and black, jack
WWF Intercontinental Champion Owen Hart and WWF European Champion Davey Boy Smith want their belts back. You've got enough belts! There are starving kids who don't even have belts at all! And, face it, they need them! I mean, they're starving, clearly their pants must be falling off all the damn time. You selfish jerk
#1 Contender's Tournament Quarterfinal Match: The New Blackjacks v Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith: Owen gets into trouble almost right away, and the Blackjacks work him over. Blackjack Windham with a vertical suplex for two, but Owen fights back with a suplex of his own, and he reaches Bulldog to wishbone Windham. Davey with a backdrop, and once again we have a dead crowd on our hands here. For all the talk of how crazy hot the 1997 RAW crowds were, they're scary silent most of the time. They pop for the big stuff, and completely sit on their hands for the rest. The Foundation cut the ring in half on Windham, but he fights Owen off long enough to tag. Blackjack Bradshaw with a powerslam on Bulldog, so Owen dives in to break the count at two, and Roseanne Barr the door! The crowd can't even bother to wake up for it, though. Owen evades Windham and nails Bradshaw with a spinheel kick to allow Davey a cradle at 3:31. Just kind of going through the motions here, but it wasn't terrible. ¾*
Backstage, WWF Champion Undertaker plays with his belt. Oh, won't someone PLEASE think of the (starving) children?!? This is just cruel. Tonight, he teams with Ahmed Johnson against Faarooq and a new mystery member of the Nation of Domination, but Paul Bearer won't let him cut a promo for himself. Probably for the best
Backstage, Chyna turns Hunter Hearst Helmsley on
Ken Shamrock is sitting around in the locker room, apparently eating lobster? I'm not sure, the bib threw me. Anyway, he's still annoyed with Steve Austin. Maybe don't walk away from him to go eat crustaceans next time?
Hunter Hearst Helmsley v Phineas Godwinn: Chyna beats up a ring attendant before the bell, probably turning HHH on even more, so hopefully this one is over quick so they can go fuck. Godwinn gets all riled up on him in the early going, but he telegraphs a backdrop, and Hunter counters with a kneeling facebuster. HHH unloads in the corner, and a high knee connects. Hunter dumps Godwinn to the outside for Chyna to abuse, as Vince notes that Chyna is a woman, but "not necessarily a lady." Inside, Godwinn gets a comeback going, and it's Slop Drop time, but he gets distracted by Chyna. Hardly Sunny flashing him there. Godwinn responds by sexually assaulting her, but this allows HHH to recover, and the Pedigree puts it away at 3:33. Really? They couldn't put HHH over PHINEAS GODWINN clean? Afterwards, Henry Godwinn shows up to get in Phineas's face, though nothing comes of it. "It's all your fault, McMahon," Henry yells. "Everything's my fault these days," deadpans Vince, in a funny moment. ½*
The Sega Slam of the Week is the Headbangers doing a dive on Rob Van Dam in Shotgun Saturday Night
Backstage, Faarooq promises 'bigger, badder, better, and a blacker' members of the Nation
Chris Candido v Brian Christopher: In your dose of 1997 weirdness for the week, this is an offshoot of the Jerry Lawler/ECW feud, and is billed as an inter-promotional ECW versus USWA match. Sunny acts as the guest ring announcer, and Paul Heyman sits in on commentary. Chris attacks before the bell, but a criss cross ends in Christopher using an inverted atomic drop. Christopher adds a leg-feed enzuigiri and a backdrop, and it's weird hearing them acknowledge Candido as a former tag champion, since generally showing up with a different gimmick negated that sort of thing in those days. Chris with a neckbreaker to set up a 2nd rope legdrop for two, and a rana off the top follows, as Heyman goes on a rant, outing Christopher as Lawler's son. Chris takes him upstairs for another rana, but now Lawler himself runs in, attacking Candido for the DQ at 2:43. Afterwards, Christopher, Lawler, and Rob Van Dam beat on Candido, but Tommy Dreamer makes the save. Would it have killed them to at least have his Triple Threat partners step in? There was nothing to this as a match. ½*
Backstage, Ahmed Johnson is as you've never seen him before: without baby oil!
Over the weekend at the Skydome in Toronto, the Hart Foundation got a hero's welcome. I don't get why they keep acting like these Skydome shows where the building is less than a quarter full are a big deal, or why they think it makes them look good to show highlights of such on TV
Backstage, Jim Neidhart apparently thinks his gimmick is that of some sort of criminal. I know the guy had his share of gimmicks over the years, but did no one give him the memo that he's not a reboot of Repo Man?
Goldust v Jim Neidhart: Ross goes on a rant about how the WWF never prevents the fans from 'expressing themselves,' which makes me actually laugh out loud. Anvil pounds on him at the bell, but misses a clothesline, and Goldust throws a bodypress. Goldust takes him into the corner for a ten-punch count, but a whip into the ropes gets reversed, and Jim throws a knee to turn the tide. Goldust fights back with a clothesline, as the announcers try to get over aspects of Goldust's relationship with his father, and it all comes off awkwardly as hell. Goldust with a bodyslam to set up a pointed elbowdrop, as Davey Boy Smith wanders down to ringside. He puts the moves on Marlena, drawing Goldust to the outside to chase him off, allowing Anvil to attack again. You don't attack a man's crack running buddy! Back in, Jim goes for the kill with a backdrop (really?), but Goldust counters with an uppercut for the pin at 3:47. Yes, Neidhart got to job to that move Goldust uses in every match that usually doesn't even warrant a pin attempt. And rightly so, as Jim looked absolutely TERRIBLE out there. It's shocking that he was involved in a classic match just weeks after this, and even more shocking that WCW actually bothered signing him the following year. Like, he looked like he barely had enough in the tank for an indy performance, let alone as a worker in a top level promotion. DUD
Steve Austin is still an angry white man
Steve Austin v Brian Pillman: Owen Hart, Davey Boy Smith, and Jim Neidhart are each handcuffed to a ring post to keep them out of the match. Vince is on about the fans expressing themselves again, and they keep hitting that note over and over, so I'm guessing it was some sort of jab at WCW that no one but them cared about. Austin charges in, and here we go! Steve wins a slugfest and uses an inverted atomic drop, and Pillman bails. Pillman wins a chase to take the high ground, and he nails Steve with some chops, but gets caught in a hotshot, as Ross tries to get this match over by calling it like he's still in WCW. Steve with some mounted punches for two, and Brian begs off, and the crowd is surprisingly quiet for this one. I get being dead for Brian Christopher or the Godwinns, but Austin against the Hart Foundation should be generating more heat than this on general principles. Pillman goes up for a dive, but Steve violently crotches him on the ropes to block, and Brian takes a bump to the outside. Pillman grabs a chair out there, but Austin knocks it back into is face, and takes the time to beat up the Foundation for good measure. That allows Pillman to grab a piece of electrical cable to choke Stone Cold down with, and he sends him into the steps before taking it back inside. Brian with a clothesline for two, and a snapmare sets up a chinlock, but Austin escapes. Sleeper, but Austin escapes. Steve is wisely doing almost all of the legwork here, allowing Pillman to just be in the right place at the right time for his end. Steve takes control and stomps a mud hole in the corner, but the referee complains, so Steve just Stuns him. I love how matter of factly he does that. Pillman capitalizes by pulling out a set of knux to knock Steve silly with, but it only gets two from a second official. Owen steals the key from the downed first official, and runs in for the DQ at 10:30. Wait, so a man freeing himself from bondage is a DQ, but Austin straight up attacking the referee is not? No wonder Bret kept complaining! Afterwards, the Foundation give Steve a beat down, but Goldust and Ken Shamrock make the save. But then Austin and Shamrock start brawling, until the Legion of Doom pull them apart, and this whole thing results in an 'LOD' chant, somehow. Yeah, sure, sit on your hands all night, but pop for THESE guys? So once the dust has settled, Goldust finds a microphone, and he's gone full Southerner now, apparently. Steve agrees to team with them long enough to fight the Harts at the pay per view, but he clarifies that he doesn't like them. It's another small miracle that Pillman was involved in that same classic match at In Your House, because he too looked like a shell of his former self at this point. The match wasn't very good, but I'm glad we finally got it. I mean, they'd been building to it for the better part of a year. *
'Cause Stone Cold Said So home video ad. I think I had that one back in the day
The SuperSoaker Rewind is Steve Austin attacking the referee in the last match
Backstage, a bloodied and battered Hart Foundation don't discriminate, they'll destroy these five guys with pleasure
Tommy Rogers v Bobby Fulton: Okay, I guess we haven't gotten our full dose of 1997 weirdness yet. Sable act as the guest ring announcer, since 'go ring announce' was apparently the 'go make me a sandwich' of 1997. Thankfully the women got a more active role soon after. They trade bodyslams to start, as Ross makes a weird case for these guys by noting that they were a big team in the 80s, and discussing their history. I get acknowledging it, but why make them sound like they're about a hundred years old? Who does bringing up the NWA and the Midnight Express help in 1997? Fulton tries a leveraged pin, but gets busted, and Rogers kills him with the tomikaze at 2:47. The work was actually decent, but this crowd is barely responding to the big stars, do how do you think THIS got over? Afterwards, Marc Mero comes out to drag Sable to the back. * ½
The Headbangers want the tag belts so they have something to hold their skirts up. "I don't want them around my daughters," notes Ross. Is he trying to sound more like an old man with every segment? Maybe he'll hype up prune juice by the main event?
#1 Contender's Tournament Quarterfinal Match: Jerry Lawler and Rob Van Dam v The Headbangers: Heyman and Dreamer are hanging around in the crowd for this. RVD starts with Mosh, and tries getting all cute with a split during a criss cross, but that ends badly. Tag to Thrasher for a tandem flapjack, and he adds a gutwrench powerbomb for two. Van Dam fights him off in the corner and dives with a 2nd rope sidekick, and it's over to Lawler for a turnbuckle smash. They go to work on Thrasher, and Lawler is so loud that he's basically doing commentary on the match as he works it. RVD with the flying frogsplash for two, but Jerry misses a fistdrop, and Mosh gets the hot tag - Roseanne Barr the door. Poor guy didn't even get a courtesy pop from this terrible crowd. Lawler hits Thrasher with the Piledriver, but Sandman runs in to hit Jerry in the balls with his cane, and the Headbangers capitalize at 3:58. ½*
Backstage, Ahmed Johnson has thankfully found the baby oil, but Paul Bearer wants him to remember that he still works for him tonight
Undertaker and Ahmed Johnson v Faarooq and Kama Mustafa: Faarooq introduces us to Kama as his mystery partner. People holding up lighters is such a weird reminder of a different era. Kama sneaks in from the crowd to attack Undertaker before the bell, and he hits an avalanche early on. Undertaker is game to sell big for his buddy, of course. Cross corner whip works, but Undertaker rebounds at him with a clothesline, and uses a bodyslam. Faarooq takes a cheap shot to cut him off, however, and the Nation use a tandem clothesline to keep him down. It wasn't so noticeable in his 1995 gimmick, but without the t-shirt, and without the hair, he's very, very clearly Papa Shango, and I'm surprised I didn't notice it as a kid back in 1997. The Nation work Undertaker over, cutting the ring in half, but he fights Faarooq off with a chokeslam for two, as Vince speculates that Mr. Hughes will be next to join the Nation. Undertaker looks for the tag, but Ahmed is busy arguing with Paul Bearer, and Kama capitalizes with a uranage at 5:48. Vince sounds legitimately surprised at the pin, and I can't blame him. Even if you booked it, it's hard to believe. Afterwards, Ahmed chases the Nation off... and then turns on Undertaker with a Pearl River Plunge. Ross way oversells it, like they've been the best of friends for years, or something. They were fighting literally two weeks ago! And then Ahmed joins the Nation at the top of the ramp to officially join the group. This was positioned as a big deal, but sadly Johnson got injured again before the scheduled title match with Undertaker at In Your House, and his career never recovered. Was there ever a dude more unlucky when it came to poorly timed injuries? DUD
BUExperience: You can’t say they weren’t trying a bunch of stuff, but very little of this pasta actually stuck to the wall. The dead crowd this week really dragged things down, but it’s not like it was a very good show to begin with.
Monday Night Wars Rating Chart
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