NWA (JCP) World Championship Wrestling (March 29, 1986)

Original Airdate: March 29, 1986 (taped March 23)

From Atlanta, Georgia; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone and David Crockett

On World Wide Wrestling, Jimmy Valiant calls Pez Whatley the ‘best black athlete in the world,’ which either deeply offends or deeply moves Pez, based on the look on his face. Honestly not sure

Wahoo McDaniel v Ron Rossi: “You look at Wahoo, and you have to think of Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin,” notes Crockett. You do? You have to? Because I usually just think that I wish my vision wasn’t so good at that particular moment. McDaniel with a chop and an elbowdrop at 2:20. DUD

Ron Garvin comes out, and he feels the only thing that can solve his problem with NWA World Champion Ric Flair is a cage match. Good promo from Garvin here, his motivations are solid

Jim Cornette is out to promise all kinds of victories for the Midnight Express in the Crockett Cup, but mostly he hopes that the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express make it to the finals too, so the Midnights can embarrass them on the biggest stage

The Midnight Express v Wee Willie Wilkins and Phil Brown: The NWA World Tag Team title is not on the line, and Cornette stays on commentary for this. Wilkins has his head shaved like he’s one of the Road Warriors, which Cornette, of course, ridicules. And rightly so. This drags on and on, before they finally put Wee Willie away with a flying kneedrop at 7:04. ¼*

Pez Whatley is out, and apparently he was offended. And rightly so, honestly. Though, apparently, this makes him a heel now. But anyone who calls Valiant an ‘undercover hillbilly’ is alright with me

Jimmy Valiant responds to Pez’s turn, and he’s badly hurt. Hearing Jimmy toned down and speaking calmly like this actually makes me reappraise him a bit. His usual shouty, dancy shit doesn’t connect with me, but this came off as real and direct. Could I have been wrong about Jimmy Valiant? Probably not, but I am intrigued! 

Jimmy Garvin v Don Turner: Okay, but do we think of Wahoo McDaniel when we see him? Don’t leave us hanging, Dave! Jimmy with a suplex at 4:13. I’d give it a higher rating if I thought of Wahoo more. Afterwards, Garvin swings by the desk to say ‘Wahoo’ about three hundred times. DUD

Ivan Koloff v Ray Traylor: Why were they wasting time on Ivan squashes nearly every week, instead of throwing Nikita out there to wreck guys? How much mileage did they really think they were going to get out of him at this point? Koloff with a clothesline at 5:32. Koloff gave Traylor a lot here, and Ray come off looking pretty good, so at least Ivan wasn’t gobbling guys up. ¼*

NWA United States Champion Magnum TA comes out to note that he’s not scared of Nikita. Well, why should he be? Dude never does anything

Nighthawk stops by, and he doesn’t understand what’s going on with Pez Whatley

Ron Garvin v Tony Zane: Okay, but who does this Garvin make us think of? Ron with his knockout punch at 7:47, after endlessly toying with the jobber. DUD

Dusty Rhodes and Baby Doll swing by, promising to break Tully Blanchard’s jaw so he can’t run his mouth anymore

NWA Television Champion Arn Anderson, NWA National Champion Tully Blanchard, and JJ Dillon think Dusty talks real tough… for a guy hiding behind a skirt

Magnum TA v Bob Owens: The NWA United States title is not on the line, sorry Bob. Magnum with the belly-to-belly suplex at 0:19. DUD

Magnum TA and Ron Garvin come out to hype up the Crockett Cup

Tully Blanchard v Bill Tabb: The NWA National title is not on the line. Blanchard is all hot and bothered by Dusty’s bullshit earlier, and takes it out on poor Bill. Meanwhile, JJ Dillon stops by the desk to do his own commentary on this one. Tully with a slingshot suplex at 4:57. Just under the wire for the longest a squash can acceptably be. I have a hard time taking these Crockett guys seriously when the WWF guys were squashing their jobbers in under two minutes. DUD

Precious comes out to make fun of Wahoo, so McDaniel comes out to confront her. Yeah, sure, now that she’s all by her lonesome. What a tough guy

NWA World Champion Ric Flair shows up to perk things up with his sexual boasts. Muddy Waters ain’t got nothin’ on him

The Rock 'n' Roll Express v Art Pritts and Ken Glover: Speaking of guys who continuously fail to impress me. But, at least, Flair sits in on commentary for it, so I don’t fall asleep through their barrage of armbars. The Express with the stereo dropkicks at 6:01. Afterwards, Flair calls the Express over so he can hand them a set of training bras (for their fans, you see). Ricky Morton responds by stomping Flair’s sunglasses, and Ric doesn’t take too kindly to that one. He goes after him, but Morton is fired up, and wrecks the world champion - with Robert Gibson not even needing to get involved! I have a feeling Ricky’s going to regret that one. DUD

NWA Television Title Match: Arn Anderson v David Dellinger: Well, at least Arn is still putting gold on the line. Anderson with the gourdbuster at 2:56. DUD

Ivan and Nikita come out to talk Crockett Cup

Wahoo is back, and he feels that when a woman ‘steps out of line,’ she’s no longer a woman to him. So if Precious gets in his face again, he’s not responsible for what he might do. Again, this guy is the babyface in this feud! What a weird era this was

The Road Warriors v Larry Clarke and Paul Garner: The Warriors don’t waste any time, of course, and squash these jobbers as they’re meant to be squashed. Animal with a big clothesline at 1:02. Lots of energy here. Afterwards, they swing by the desk to talk about their youth in Chicago. No mention of Rocco, sadly. ¼*

BUExperience: I hate this show. It’s just so damn long and repetitive.