Original Airdate: May 18, 1998
From Nashville, Tennessee; Your Host is Jim Ross, with Michael Cole (hour one), and with Jerry Lawler (hour two)
WWF Champion Steve Austin arrives outside the building, but security won’t let him in, acting on Vince McMahon’s orders. Austin issues threats, but decides to go have a couple of drinks, and let the guy think about if he wants to do things the easy way or the hard way
Vince and his henchmen come out, and clarify that Austin isn’t being allowed in because he was injured on last week’s show, and so it’s just for his own safety. Vince then brings Dude Love out (in a suit and tie), and Dude does a great promo here, even using a different voice and cadence, like the classic champions of the 70s. Vince then brings Dustin Runnels out to answer for blaming every problem in his life on Vince, and McMahon books him against Dude tonight. And if Dustin wins, he gets the title shot against Austin at Over the Edge. But, if he loses, he has to work for 30 days without pay
Jerry Lawler arrives (in a minivan?) leading a mystery person into the building, hidden under a blanket
Scorpio v Val Venis: This is Val’s debut, and he immediately comes off like a big star. Posturing to start, and Scorpio gets the first takedown with a clothesline, but Val pops right up and returns the favor. They trade wristlocks next, and Scorpio lands a savate kick. Val manages a cross corner clothesline, and Venis uses a snapmare for two. A powerslam follows, and Val unloads with mounted punches. Backdrop, but Scorpio knocks with a knee, and uses a sunset flip for two. Scorpio adds a corkscrew kick, but a cross corner whip backfires when Val rebounds out with a clothesline. Val with a bodyslam to set up a 2nd rope splash, but Scorpio lifts his boot to block. Scorpio with another corkscrew kick, and a corner backelbow finds the mark. A bodyslam sets up a flying twisting splash for two, but Val fights off a waistlock, and hooks a bridging German suplex for two. Val goes up, but gets crotched, and Scorpio slams him off the top. Scorpio with a corner clothesline, and another bodyslam sets up a flying moonsault, but Venis dodges. That allows Val to go back up, and a flying splash finishes at 6:03. This wasn’t bad, but came off kind of flat, like a house show match. It didn’t make for an especially effective debut. * ¼
Outside, Austin again gets cut off by security while trying to get in, but this time Steve isn’t feeling patient, and just kicks the guys ass instead of trying to reason with him
Austin storms down to the ring, and calls out McMahon and his goons. Vince, Pat Patterson, and Gerald Brisco respond, and Vince agrees to a fight… but it wouldn't be fair to Steve to have to fight all three guys, so it’ll be two of the three against Austin in a handicap match tonight
Edge vignette
Backstage, Lawler’s mystery person is getting hair and makeup done
Marc Mero v Terry Funk: Sable tries to break her professional relationship with Mero off before the bell, but Marc promises to enforce their contract, and orders her into his corner ‘like a good little girl.’ Marc then attacks Terry, and he whips Funk into the guardrail. Inside, Funk manages a piledriver for two, and a neckbreaker gets him two. Marc comes back with fists, and a trio of clotheslines find their marks, as Ross goes on a weird rant to explain away why Terry being old is different from all the times he made fun of WCW for being the ‘senior circuit.’ Funk has passion, you see. That’s the difference. Funk blocks a charge in the corner, and lands a clothesline. Terry makes a passionate comeback, but the referee gets bumped along the way, and Mero delivers a low blow for two. Sable tries to narc on Marc, and there’s no one to count when he delivers the TKO. That allows Funk to recover, and he DDTs Marc at 4:05. ½*
Backstage, the security guy Austin beat up gets attended to
The 1-800-Collect Rewind is Undertaker beating up Jerry Lawler on last week’s episode
Backstage, the cops search for Austin
LOD 2000 v Chainz and Skull: No Sunny this week, for whatever reason. Hawk and Skull start, and Skull delivers a sidewalk slam for two. Tag to Chainz for a bodyslam, and he adds a trio of elbowdrops. Backdrop, but he telegraphs it, and Hawk delivers a facebuster, then a leg-feed enzuigiri. To the ‘mid-back area,’ per JR. Good looking out, Jim. Tag to Animal for a powerslam and a powerbomb for two, but a brawl breaks out, and Roseanne Barr the door. Everyone kind of trips over each other, until 8-Ball shows up and makes a switch, schoolboying Animal at 2:38. DUD
Backstage, Lawler is still leading around his blanket covered guest
Earlier today, Kane and Paul Bearer visited a doctor to have a DNA test performed. Or, per JR, a ‘complicated’ DNA test
Lawler leads out his guest as he heads down for the start of the second hour, and he’s revealed to be Al Snow, who will watch the King’s back out here on commentary
#1 Contender’s Match: Dustin Runnels v Dude Love: Runnels attacks before the bell, pulling Dude’s sport jacket over his head, and unloading. Ross gets a funny line in here, telling Lawler that he must know what it’s like to have to work thirty days without getting paid. They spill to the outside, where Love bashes his brains into the steps, but Dustin turns it around with a clothesline on the way back in. Runnels with a bulldog, so Gerald Brisco distracts him, and Dude capitalizes with the mandible claw at 2:21. This never got off the ground. ¼*
Backstage, Austin watches the result on a monitor, but the cops show up to arrest him. Once he’s in cuffs, Vince and his stooges show up, so McMahon can rub it in, like George Constanza at the airport
The Headbangers v Dick Togo and Mens Teioh: Kaientai attack during the entrances, and deliver a three-man beatdown before the match gets officially underway. Mosh fights them off, and starts with Togo officially. Mosh with a powerslam, and he passes to Thrasher for a 2nd rope clothesline. Togo goes to the eyes to allow the tag to Teioh, but he walks right into a backdrop. The Headbangers hit him with a rockerplex for two, and a tandem press-drop follows. Thrasher with a bodyslam, so Togo pulls down the top rope as he comes off them, and Thrasher takes a bump over the top. That allows Kaientai another triple team attack on the outside, and they work Thrasher over back in the ring. They dominate, until WWF Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku and Bradshaw run in on them for the DQ at 5:49. Kaientai were willing to bump around, but the match didn’t really have a lot of oomph, and the crowd was dead. ¾*
Out in the garage, the cops have Austin in the back of their cruiser, as Vince gloats
The Castrol GTX Slam of the Week is Vader delivering a Vaderbomb on Barry Windham last week
Back at the lab, the blood is drawn. Why is Kane in a tracksuit and using a ski mask to cover his face? I mean, really? Talk about aura killing
WWF Tag Team Title Match: The New Age Outlaws v Rock and Owen Hart: Big brawl to start, with all other stable members getting involved. Everyone finally gets ejected, and we get Jesse James and Rock to start, and a big criss cross ends in Rock kicking Jesse down low when James tries a leapfrog. Rock with a bodyslam to set up the People’s Elbow for two, and he passes to Owen for a pair of inverted atomic drops. James goes to the eyes to allow a tag to Billy Gunn, and Gunn goes to work in the corner. A cross corner whip rebounds Hart into a press-slam, but Owen blocks, and throws a leg-feed enzuigiri for two. You can see Hawk blushing from all the way in the dressing room. Tag to Rock, and he barrels into Gunn with a shoulderblock. Wristlock, but Billy slugs free, and passes to Road Dogg. James tries a charge, but Rock is ready with a Samoan drop, and Hart adds a flying elbowdrop. Hart then starts wildly biting Jesse’s ear to draw blood (in something of a WTF moment), and a Rock delivers a uranage. Cover, count, but Gunn saves at two. That draws Owen in to brawl with him, and Roseanne Barr the door! Faarooq sneaks in during the chaos, and drills Rock with a piledriver, allowing Jesse to cover at 6:06. ¾*
Back in the lab, DNA is being a’tested
Out in the garage, Austin is still fuming in the back of the police cruiser
Backstage, the cops let Austin out of the cruiser so he can apologize to the guard he beat up earlier, which Steve does (in his own fashion), and then storms off. Justice?
Kevin Kelly brings the doctor out to discuss the DNA results, and Paul Bearer is indeed Kane’s biological father. Man, between the cops letting violent offenders go if they ‘apologize,’ and doctors sharing confidential patient information on national television, the 90s were a wild time. Or maybe it’s just a Tennessee thing, who knows. So Kane and Paul come out to gloat, but Undertaker runs out to attack. He initially dominates, but Kane gets control, so Vader runs out to make the save, as Undertaker chases Bearer to the back
Backstage, Austin laces his boots
Handicap Street Fight: Steve Austin v Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco: This is the first match for Pat and Gerald each since 1987. Sgt Slaughter acts as the special guest referee here. And wow, Pat actually jumps the top rope here, impressive. Austin gives Sarge the finger on the way in, so Slaughter clobbers him, and that gives the heels an immediate advantage. They dive on Steve and go to work, and Pat nails Steve with knux for two (complete with a super fast count). Austin has had enough, however, and starts running wild like the Road Warriors in 1986. Brisco eats a stunner, as does Patterson, so Slaughter tries putting Austin in a cobra clutch. Steve fights him off, so Dude Love runs in, and business is about to pick up! Austin clotheslines him over the top, so a guy in an Austin mask hops the rail, and whacks Steve with a chair. He unmasks as Vince, and the attack allows Dude to put Austin down with the mandible claw. And I guess that’s the end of the match at 4:19, though no bell sounds or decision is announced. ¼*
BUExperience: A very entertaining show, even if there wasn’t any good wrestling on it. A true ‘sports entertainment’ production.
Monday Night Wars Rating Chart
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