WWE Money in the Bank (July 2012)

 

Original Airdate: July 15, 2012

From Phoenix, Arizona; Your Hosts are Michael Cole, Booker T, and Jerry Lawler

Opening Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Christian v Cody Rhodes v Dolph Ziggler v Tyson Kidd v Damien Sandow v Santino Marella v Sin Cara v Tensai: The winner earns a briefcase for a World Heavyweight title shot. Everyone brawls to start, with Christian and Tensai getting the better of things. Tensai brings a ladder in, and wedges it in the corner to crack Kidd with a catapult under. Tensai hits Christian with an avalanche, but a second one gets blocked when Christian pushes a ladder at him, and he and Kidd work together to knock Tensai out of the ring. Christian quickly turns on Tyson, but gets dumped off the ladder before he can get the briefcase, and we get a Rhodes/Ziggler/Cara segment next. That ends with Cara cleaning house, but Kidd nails him before he can go for the case. Christian tries a flying splash, but ends up hitting the ladder, and Cody comes in to fight it out with Kidd. Kidd knocks him out of the ring with a springboard flying dropkick, and Tyson climbs, but Tensai cuts him off. Santino climbs, but Tensai pulls him off with a (sloppy, near botched) powerbomb. Kidd tries again, so Tensai tries for another powerbomb, but both guys end up taking a spill out of the ring. That allows Sandow to run in for a climb, and he’s channeling two versions of early 90s Rick Martel with his gear tonight. And kind of late 80s Randy Savage, too. Anyway, he doesn’t get the case. Christian climbs, but both Rhodes and Ziggler stop him, and rush up opposite sides to slug it out. Cody wins that one, but Tensai attacks before he can grab the case. Marella makes it to the top unblocked, but the cobra glove renders him unable to grasp it, so no case. Cody makes it up, but Vickie Guerrero distracts him (with nagging!), and Ziggler sneaks up with a Zig Zag off the ladder. Dolph nearly gets the case, but Christian cuts him off at the top, and everyone ends up climbing multiple ladders to fight it out, but no clear winner emerges. To the outside, where Tensai rages, and smashes. Both Sin and Dolph take some scary bumps here. Christian nearly gets the case, but Ziggler drops him, and gets it at 18:29. Just a collection of bumps and spots. * ¼ 

World Heavyweight Title Match: Sheamus v Alberto Del Rio: Some posturing to start, with the champion dominating. Del Rio manages to take control, but Sheamus fights him off with a scrap backbreaker for two. Sheamus picks him up in a fireman carry, but Del Rio escapes, so Sheamus tries a Brogue kick, but Alberto dodges. That allows the challenger a lungblower for two, but Sheamus dodges a roundhouse kick, and drops Del Rio with a Samoan drop. Brogue kick, and Sheamus retains at 14:23. I was bored with this one. Can you tell? ½*

The Prime Time Players v Primo and Epico: Titus O’Neil and Epico start, and Epico dominates, getting him into the corner. Tag to Darren Young, and he gets some traction, but gets dumped out, and we get a dogpile sequence on the floor. Epico hits Young with a slingshot somersault senton splash for two on the way back in, but Darren manages a tag. Titus comes in strong, wrecking Epico, and then taking him to the outside to abuse with the post. The Players cut the ring in half on Epico, and I’m having a hard time accepting the Players as heels here, simply because I like both guys so much that I want to cheer them. That is not so much the case with Primo and Epico. Anyway, Primo gets the hot tag, and a victory cradle on Young puts it away at 7:31. ½*

WWE Title No Disqualification Match: CM Punk v Daniel Bryan: AJ Lee acts as the special guest referee for this one. They spill to the outside early on, where Daniel drops him on the barricade, and the challenger takes control as they head inside. Bryan works the arm, but Punk manages a schoolboy for two, and he beats Bryan into the corner with knee strikes. Punk with a cross corner whip, and he tries unloading chops, but Daniel turns the tables. They trade off with vicious sounding chops, and Punk gets the better of the exchange with an uppercut. Punk uses a backbreaker to set up a 2nd rope legdrop, but Daniel dodges, and peppers Punk with Yes kicks for two. A criss cross allows Punk to throw a dropkick, and Daniel rolls to the outside to regroup, but Punk is on him with a tope. They fight into the aisle, where Punk drops him on the rail, but AJ gets bumped as they head back inside. Punk dives out of the ring to check on her, but Daniel shows no concern, diving on Punk with an axehandle from the apron. He chucks Punk into the steps before going over to check on AJ, and she gets taken to the back by the medical team, replaced by a different official. Bryan stays on Punk with a kneesmash from the apron, but he gets dumped into the timekeeper’s table, and both men are left down on the outside. Bryan recovers first and find a kendo stick, teeing off on Punk with it for two on the way back in. Bryan responds by laying into him with shot after shot, and he hooks the leg, but Punk still kicks out at two. Bryan with a snap suplex to set up a flying headbutt drop, but Punk rolls out of the way, and delivers a neckbreaker for two. Punk with a powerslam for two, but Bryan counters the GTS with a rana into a cradle for two. Punk pops up, but Bryan nails him with a roundhouse kick as he does, and he grabs the kendo again for more abuse. Daniel goes to a surfboard, but Punk grabs the kendo, and unloads to escape. Cue AJ Lee returning, and she sends the replacement official home. AJ decides to grab a chair, and puts it right at center ring, then steps back, letting them fight over it. Daniel gets it, and goes to town on Punk for two, then hammers him with more Yes kicks. Punk fights him off, and tries to whip the challenger into a corner mounted chair, but Lee blocks his path. As Punk goes over to deal with her, Daniel recovers, and nails Punk with a running dropkick. He goes for the kendo, but now Lee is blocking his path, and Punk recovers to nail him with a chair. A bodyslam on the chair sets up a flying elbowdrop, but Daniel dodges, and Punk crash lands on the chair. Bryan capitalizes with the LeBell lock, but can’t coax a submission. A table gets brought in, and Bryan tries a superplex through it, but Punk blocks. Punk puts him through the table with a side superplex, and Lee counts three at 27:48. This was solid, but not at the level a thirty minute match should be. ** ¼ 

Handicap Match: Ryback v Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks: We’re still doing this gimmick with Ryback? I get building a guy up, but it’s been months of these pay per view squashes. Shit or get off the pot. Ryback with a Samoan drop at 4:18. ¼*

Six-Woman Tag Team Match: Layla, Tamina Snuka, and Kaitlyn v Beth Phoenix, Eve Torres, and Natalya: Tamina and Nattie start, and Tamina dominates. Kaitlyn tags in to hit Nattie with a backbreaker for two, so Natalya passes to Beth. Beth comes in all tough, but literally gets slapped around, and tags to Eve. Kaitlyn hits her with a bodypress for two, but Eve manages to fight her off in the corner, and the heels triple team, but Beth drops the ball with Kaitlyn again. Tag to Layla, and she hits Beth with a dive for two. A roundhouse kick misses, however, allowing Beth a press-slam, but Laya counters to a cradle, and everyone comes in for a brawl - Roseanne Barr the door! Tamina superkicks Beth into a neckbreaker from Layla at 3:21. What was up with ‘jobber Beth’ here? DUD

Main Event: Money in the Bank Ladder Match: John Cena v Miz v Chris Jericho v Big Show v Kane: Winner gets a briefcase for a WWE Title shot. Cena quickly cleans house, but wants to keep fighting with Show, and they end up on the outside. Cena tries a whip into the steps, but gets reversed, and meanwhile, Miz brings a ladder in and tries to climb while the ring is empty. Cena cuts him off, and Show spears him down to put an end to that plan, however. Show throws a ladder at Jericho, but Kane comes in to give him someone (closer to) his own size to pick on. Kane manages to big boot him over the top, and Cena is out there waiting to put him through an announce table with an Attitude Adjustment. John buries Show in a pile of ladders, but Jericho comes along and buries Cena in there as well. Jericho takes a ladder in to try a climb, but Miz is in his business. Chris puts him in a Liontamer, but Kane is coming in, forcing Jericho to release. Jericho hits Kane with a baseball slide before vertical suplexing Miz, and he whips him into a ladder. Chris climbs, but Cena is back to knock him off. Cena is dazed, however, and Miz knocks him off. Miz climbs, but Kane hits him with a ladder to cut him off. Kane climbs, but Jericho and Miz stop him, and deliver a tandem suplex on a ladder. Show comes in and beats Jericho with a ladder in such severe fashion that he literally breaks the ladder in half. On that note, he goes under the ring to pull out a massive, reinforced ladder so he can actually climb, and that thing looks like a beast. It’s like the Escalade of ladders. Even the powerful Show looks like he’s having trouble maneuvering it. Show climbs, but he’s pretty tired, and is moving video game slow, and Kane ends up at the top with him. Show swats him away, but now he’s really winded, and Cena meets him at the top. Show manages to win the exchange, but Jericho is back with a chair, and Show is done. Chris and John climb opposite sides of Show’s Escalade ladder, and Jericho puts him in a sleeper at the top to block an AA. Cena ends up falling off the ladder, and Jericho goes to grab, but Miz cuts him off just as he is unhooking it. All of this may read as interesting, but everything they’re doing up there is moving at a super slow, deliberate pace. And then Show and Cena end up at the top, and John hits him in the head with the case so hard that it snaps off of the hook, giving Cena the win at 20:02. Lather, rise, repeat. Lather, rinse, repeat. Lather, rinse, repeat. As needed. ¾*

BUExperience: One ‘okay’ match, and a bunch of junk. 

DUD