WWF King of the Ring 1996

For 1996 the WWF decided to revamp the King of the Ring format – still holding a full sixteen-man single elimination tournament – but this time, only putting the semi finals and finals on pay per view – that way allowing them the air time to book a more well rounded card.  The idea left me numb, as after the 1995 show, I was a bit turned off by the whole gimmick, and the field going into the pay per view (Steve Austin, Marc Mero, Jake Roberts, Vader) wasn’t exactly enough to lure me back in.

I did have some interest in seeing The Undertaker finally square off with Mankind after months of build up, as well as the blowoff to the Shawn Michaels/Davey Boy Smith feud – as Shawn was my favorite Superstar with Bret Hart away for the year. Even so, my interest in this show as a graduating 5^th grader was tepid – though it would turn out to be quite a historically significant one for the WWF.

From Milwaukee, Wisconsin – Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Owen Hart – who spends the night proving that had he not tragically died in 1999, he would have had a brilliant career as a color commentator once he retired from in-ring competition.


Free For All Match: The Bodydonnas v The New Rockers: The Rockers control Skip to start, and take turns working a chinlock. Skip comes back with a victory roll on Leif Cassidy, but a second try gets him full-nelson suplexed. Slugfest, and Skip hits a fantastic Northern Lights suplex for two, but gets caught with a leg lariat. Marty Jannetty hits the Rocker Dropper, and an impressive powerbomb off of the top rope. It goes nowhere, though, as both men tag out. Zip is a house of arson, but an assisted flying splash on Cassidy misses, so Cloudy (the Bodydonnas cross-dressing response to losing manager Sunny) wets Cassidy with a kiss, and he gets rolled up at 8:00. Really dull at the onset, but it picked up nicely, with Chris Candido (Skip) performing very well here. ¾*

Opening King of the Ring Semi Final Match: Steve Austin v Marc Mero: Stalemate sequence to start, as Austin starts sizing him up, confused as to why Johnny B. Badd is suddenly so though to handle. Mero catches him with a headscissors to put him on the outside, and tries to follow with a dive, but Austin shrewdly moves out of range, stopping the effort. Inside, Mero works a side-headlock, but gets caught with a Thesz Press, and Austin declares himself the winner. Unfortunately, the referee disagrees, and Mero feels a bit uncertain about it as well – eventually landing on a tentative 'no' – so Austin dumps him for thinking too long. He pulls up the mats, and slams him onto the concrete. Inside, Austin with a suplex, and he works the back. Still unnamed FU elbow gets two, and a backbreaker gets two. Boston Crab, but Mero rolls out, and hooks an inside cradle for two. That only serves to piss Austin off, so he locks the hold again, but Mero counters again, this time leading to a reversal sequence. Mero with a double-underhook roll-up for two, busting Austin open from the mouth hardway, and he grabs a sleeper. Steve with a chincrusher to escape, but Mero catches him with a springboard... assblock. Never seen that one before, but it was awesome. Dropkick, and a crisp flying axehandle get two. To the floor, Mero with a somersault plancha, and he follows with a tope. Back in, missile dropkick gets two, as Austin just won't stay down. He tries a top rope rana to kill him off, but that only gets two, and Austin catches him with a stungun as Mero gets frustrated. Stunner finishes at 16:49 to move Steve Austin on to the finals. It started off slowly, but the ending picked up quite a bit. The psychology of Austin working the back went nowhere – and they spent a lot of time there – but the last few minutes, once they started tossing off highspots, were ahead of most of the roster at the time, and got the crowd going, which is good stuff for an opener.  ** ¼. I should note that we’re one match in, and already doing better than anything on the entire show in 1995.

King of the Ring Semi Final Match: Vader v Jake Roberts: Vader overpowers him to start, wrestling him down to the mat, and generally abusing him. Splash gets two, but he runs into a boot off of an avalanche, and Jake calls for the DDT. Vader blocks with some body shots (forearm shots to the body, not alcohol being licked off of Jake's naked body, to be absolutely and explicitly clear), but a second avalanche misses, and Jake hits the DDT. Unfortunately the referee gets bumped on the way down, and decides to disqualify Vader for it at 3:34, sending Jake to face Austin in the finals. Okay. Probably the first time I've ever seen a referee DQ someone for an accidental bump, and even so, the logic of it is flawed, as Jake was performing the hold. Shouldn't he be disqualified for throwing a temperamental four-hundred pound ex-con at the referee? Nothing match, either way, as Jake looked out of shape and clumsy – especially next to Vader. DUD. Afterwards, the understandably angry Vader breaks Jake's ribs (kayfabe) to help swallow that bitter-pill, though, really, he should probably take it out on the referee for that spotty job of officiating.

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Smoking Gunns v The Godwinns: Sunny (at this point aligned with the Gunns, because they have the titles, and, well, she's a slut) plays mind games with the Godwinns, allowing the champs to jump Phineas Godwinn, but he manages to get a tag off to Henry Godwinn. He's gay, apparently, as Sunny's charms don't phase him (that really adds a whole new layer to that hog pen feud he had with Triple H, doesn't it?), and the Godwinns cut the ring in half on Bart Gunn until Billy throws a cheap shot from the apron. Billy Gunn with the still unnamed fameasser for two, and the Gunns cut the ring in half, vaguely focusing on Henry's back. Bart misses a great looking flying legdrop, and both men tag out. Phineas is a house of arson, and Henry immediately joins in - as apparently eight seconds in the corner is as refreshing as a vacation with Ponce De Leon. The Gunns pull a double team, however, and retain at 10:10. Not as bad as their armbar disguised as a match from the month before, but still a dull, punchy-kicky affair. ¼*

The Ultimate Warrior v Jerry Lawler: This one came about when Lawler made fun of Warrior's comic book, and Warrior wanted REVENGE! Even as a kid, I had a hard time buying that one, as why would Warrior – the guy who beat Hulk Hogan; ended the Honky Tonk Man's reign of terror; retired Randy Savage – give a shit if some guy didn't like his comic book. Now, as an adult, I find the feud even more ridiculous, and actually somewhat insulting - insulting that no one involved here couldn't be bothered to come up with an actual angle between two veteran wrestlers other than 'he doesn't like his comic book.' Lawler does that great bit where he insults half the crowd on the way down to the ring, and it's so odd to watch, knowing how universally loved he has become by the audience today. If there's one guy who you never thought was going to turn into a lovable babyface – that guy was definitely Jerry Lawler. The King jumps Warrior with his scepter during the entrances, and chokes him out with one of the tag ropes, left over from the last match. Piledriver, but Warrior CRACKS UP!! and a barrage of clotheslines finishes at 3:50. Match was literally a three minute chokehold, followed by Warrior's comeback routine. I got into wrestling in 1994, and my exposure to the Ultimate Warrior had been VHS rentals available at my local video store. Remember, this was an era long before WWE puff pieces on Superstars past and present, or even Wikipedia, YouTube, and Netflix to find information on a guy - and from the tapes I was able to find, my understanding was that he was a legend. I was beyond pumped for the return at WrestleMania XII, as this mythical character was going to be a part of my WWF - but the whole thing came off so badly, I began to wonder if perhaps the tapes were only showing his better stuff, as this surely couldn't be the same guy from the video store. Warrior would be gone by the next month. Maybe to work at the video store - which would be pretty awesome. DUD.

The Undertaker v Mankind: This came about as part of a groundbreaking feud for The Undertaker, as Mankind debuted the night after WrestleMania XII, savagely attacking him. Then, for the next few months, he would continue to terrorize the Undertaker at every opportunity, getting the best of nearly all of their encounters – something that almost no one had ever done before. As a kid I was terrified of him, and it was definitely one of the better angles they ran that year - and in general for the Undertaker character, as it changed his entire style for the better, and forever. After all of the build, this was their first, highly anticipated meeting. 'Taker hides in the shadows during his entrance, and jumps Mankind off of the top rope with a flying clothesline - already showing the influence of the feud, as the Undertaker never had done anything like that before. He tries to tear the mask off (it's not Phantom of the Opera-ish enough!), but when that fails, he goes to the ropewalk forearm. Mankind shoots him a back elbow to take over, and chokes away. To the floor, Mankind with the Cactus elbow, and he grabs a chair. He charges, but 'Taker blocks with his boot, and backdrops him into the aisle. Back inside, 'Taker goes back to what worked before – hitting another big boot, but Mankind counters the Tombstone with a double-arm DDT. He goes for the Mandible Claw, but 'Taker blocks, so Mankind keeps hammering. Nervehold, and oh, come on! Finally, a show Yokozuna isn't booked on, and I still have to sit through a fucking nervehold?! And a bad one at that - making him look less like a demented villain - and more like an annoying aunt, pinching the Undertaker's cheek. Outside again, Mankind places the Undertaker against the stairs, and charges with a brutal looking kneesmash. Slam on the floor, and he tries another Cactus elbow, but 'Taker uses the chair to block. He unloads with it, and inside he hits the jumping clothesline. Backdrop, but Mankind counters with his wedgie-piledriver for two. Mankind starts flipping out, bashing his head into the mat in frustration, and locks on the Claw. Paul Bearer (Undertaker's manager) tries to help by clocking Mankind with the urn, but ends up nailing 'Taker, and he’s done at 18:21. To say that the crowd is shocked would be an understatement. The match itself – while groundbreaking in the development of the Undertaker's style from 'zombie wrestler' to a more three dimensional character, as well as the shock of Mankind's victory, as most people assumed he was just another 'flavor of the month' opponent for the Undertaker, and didn't give him odds to actually win the thing - was nothing short of revolutionary for 1996 WWF, but as an actual match, it was fairly plodding, and lacked the intensity it needed for a feud like this one - though they would get there later. *.

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Goldust v Ahmed Johnson: Goldust had spent the Spring feuding with The Ultimate Warrior, The Undertaker and Ahmed Johnson (he was kind of a whore) - but the Johnson feud was by far the most interesting (mostly by default, as the others were so cruelly boring), when Goldust made sexual advances on Ahmed, trying to give the intensely macho Johnson 'mouth to mouth resuscitation' on an episode of RAW, causing him to go berserk, and setting his one up. Oh, and Ahmed is pissed. Charging to the ring, beating the cum out of Goldust, and hitting his hands free tope on the floor. Well, vaguely hitting, as Goldust was out of position, but it was still a pretty awesome spot. He viciously throws the stairs at him next, but Goldust moves - likely saving himself a couple of legitimate broken bones. Ahmed misses a blind charge, though, and Goldust gives him a relatively vicious shot with the steps of his own. Inside, Goldust goes to a reverse chinlock, and starts fondling Johnson's tushy to keep the crowd into it. You have to give it to Dustin Rhodes - guy had balls, not only to go through with this gimmick, but to get so deeply into the character. After all, as Hawthorne said, 'I like puppy doggies.' Not really relevant to the conversation, but I think we all enjoy puppy doggies, and it's worth noting. Anyway, Goldust with a piledriver, and he plays with Johnson's johnson on his way to a two count. Sleeper, but Goldust lets off at two arm drops because he wants to sexually molest some more. See, normally I would have an issue with this sort of psychology (he had the win!), but with the Goldust character, it's in his nature to want to molest Johnson more than worry over silly little things like wins, losses, or titles - so it works. He makes the mistake of laying a kiss on him, though, and Ahmed HETEROS UP!! Spinebuster, and the Pearl River Plunge finisher at 15:34. This was supposed to be the big step up for the increasingly over Ahmed Johnson, but kidney problems later that summer forced him to take a break, and by the time he would return the bloom was off the rose. Match was fairly dull for a big blowoff, as they started off well, but then took a turn down resthold alley - as Goldust focused on trying to knock Ahmed out for sexual molestation purposes (wasn't the mid 90s a fun time to grow up?) - until the finish. ½*

WWF King of the Ring: Steve Austin v Jake Roberts: Jake is selling the broken ribs from earlier, but still insists on competing, as someone has apparently told him the tournament prize is a months supply of shots. Which, in case you can't read between the lines, is, like, a really fun month for a guy like Jake Roberts. Austin doesn't even let him get into the ring before attacking the ribs, and he tears off his medical tape. No, not the Spanx! WWF President Gorilla Monsoon steps in, but Jake really wants those shots, and keeps it going. Austin shrugs off the DDT pretty quickly, however, and the Stunner wins the King of the Ring at 4:28. He heads over for the coronation, but unlike the Kings of the past, rejects the regalia - instead taking the time to run down the injured Jake Roberts. He then adlibs one of the more important lines in WWF history with, 'you sit there and you thump your Bible, you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere! Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16... well Austin 3:16 says, I just whipped your ass!' This didn’t seem like much at the time (we didn't even talk about 'King Austin' the next day at school), but soon after, he would start picking fights with Bret Hart - on hiatus since WrestleMania - and bring a more brash style to his promos than the other cartoonish Superstars. While the Attitude Era wasn't born on this show, this was certainly the conception - which is interesting as the actual birth was a convenient nine months later. The match itself was nothing, but for historical purposes it ended up becoming one of the bigger moments in wrestling history. DUD.

Main Event: WWF Title Match: Shawn Michaels v Davey Boy Smith: Mr. Perfect is the special enforcer, with the angle being that Davey and manager Jim Cornette have bought him off. Davey waves his flag around to draw heel heat, though that's kind of a stretch considering he's the British Bulldog, but maybe Milwaukee holds some crazy Revolutionary War grudge, or something, I dunno. They fight over an armbar to start, with Davey using his power, but Shawn using speed to outmaneuver him. Davey tries to dump him, but Shawn skins the cat, and catches him with a headscissors to the floor. He hits a rana off of the apron, but Davey beats the count back in, and locks Michaels in a bracing side-headlock. Press slam, but Shawn supermarket sweeps him into an armbar. Bulldog counters with an equally thrilling chinlock. Shawn with a single-arm DDT, and a flying axehandle for two. Criss cross, and Davey goes for the press slam, but instead of completing the spot, just takes a few halting steps backwards, and drops him clear over the top, to the floor. Okay, and Shawn is dead. Davey follows to make sure, and hits a hanging vertical on the outside, and takes a breather by working the count. He breaks it before he loses his shot at the title, but decides the press slamming fun isn't over, bringing another, this time press slamming Shawn from the floor into the ring, in a truly impressive spot. That gets two, and Shawn Flair flips into a clothesline. Surfboard, and a backdrop gives Shawn a delightful view of the ceiling. Another long chinlock sequence, Shawn gets a gorgeous crucifix (odd thing to type) off of a criss cross for two, but gets clotheslined when going for the Superkick, and Davey piledrives him. Flying headbutt misses, and Shawn crawls to the top, but gets crotched, and Davey hits a super-duperplex for two. Side superplex, but Michaels counters with a bodyblock for two. Slugfest, and Michaels tries a rana, but Davey counters with a sitout powerbomb for two. Double knockout, as Davey takes his variation of the Flair flip spot, and Shawn catches him with the diving clothesline. Flying elbowdrop, and the Superkick finishes at 26:25. Wow, Mr. Perfect was less than a cipher there. Afterwards, Owen Hart drops his headset, and Vader runs in, attacking Michaels, until Ahmed Johnson and The Ultimate Warrior make the save, setting up the next months In Your House. People remember this one really well, but outside of a few really nice spots and sequences from both guys, it was a rather dull match, crammed with bunches of restholds, and a formula finish. **.

BUExperience: While no one knew it after the curtain dropped, this ended up becoming on of the more historically significant shows in WWF history – with the conception of the Attitude Era, as well as the first meeting between The Undertaker and Mankind in a long series. At the time, it likely seemed as if this would be remembered as the show where Ahmed Johnson rose to the main event ranks, but that experiment didn’t quite play out the way everyone thought it would.

And even that almost didn’t happen for them, as the original plan was for Triple H to win the whole thing – not Steve Austin. However, he was on the outs with Vince McMahon after participating in a public ‘goodbye’ (since becoming known as the ‘MSG Incident’) with Shawn, Scott Hall, and Kevin Nash when the latter two left for WCW, but first all had a nice group hug in the middle of the ring at Madison Square Garden, in a glaring break of kayfabe.

As for me, as a kid, wrestling had cooled, and the local video stores didn’t even bother to order a copy of this show for rental purposes – so I never even got to see it, leaving me with copies of old WrestleMania’s and SummerSlam’s to re-watch instead. Probably better off, anyway. *.