WWF In Your House - Buried Alive (October 1996)

I was quite pumped for this one, as a kid. It was one of the few pay per views I got to order during 1996, and despite the fact that neither Shawn Michaels or Bret Hart (my two favorite grapplers) were scheduled to perform, eleven-year old Ben was pretty excited for this one, as the Undertaker/Mankind storyline intrigued me, and to that point I had only seen them battle via highlight packages or brief interactions on TV to set up pay per views I wasn’t allowed to order. I can still remember walking the two blocks home from the school bus the Friday before the show, imagining what the WWF had in store for us that Sunday, and excited to make some predictions of my own with my action figures as soon as I got home.

From Indianapolis, Indiana, your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, and Jim Ross – doing his ‘evil’ JR gimmick. Which is basically code for ‘telling it like it is, but hitting a little too close to home for Vince until they scrapped the whole thing.’


Opening Match: Hunter Hearst Helmsley v Steve Austin: Austin threatens to steal Hunter's valet for the evening, making her look incredibly uncomfortable in the process, as she was likely some poor call girl they hired who didn't know jack shit about wrestling, and actually thought that the skinhead looking dude was due to rape her now. Austin senses that his penis is making the room uncomfortable, and sets his sights on a fat kid in the front row. Triple H - not to be outdone - then heads out and makes fun of the kid, too, in a nice bit. They fight over a standing side headlock once they're done plotting rapes and bullying the overweight children of America (that last one could really take a while), but Austin gets sick of that, and switches to an armbar. Because nothing says 'buyrate' like a nice, long armbar. HHH with a backdrop to comeback, and he follows with a suplex. Shindrop gets two, and a side suplex sets up... a chinlock. Austin stunners out, and then stunguns him. FU elbow for a series of two counts, but he gets caught with a high knee, and Hunter hits a second rope flying fist drop. Double knockout, and here comes Mr. Perfect, who at the time had been feuding with Triple H by helping Marc Mero to the Intercontinental title - though we would soon find out it was all a plot to get the title on Hunter. The next night, in fact. Perfect goes after the escort, drawing HHH to the floor, where Austin kills him. In a telling move though, Perfect grabs Austin as well, instigating a fight with him - while Hunter is safely in the ring, on his way to a countout victory. Back inside, Pedigree, but Hunter lets off to go chasing Perfect - which makes no sense considering we'd learn they were in cahoots all along. Why not just finish Austin? You're not actually mad at Perfect. Austin goes after him, and hits a slingshot into the post, and  the stunner finishes at 15:30. These two would go on to become among the biggest stars in the history of the business, and headline multiple pay per views. However, this is more passable as a house show main event. Overlong, with endless restholds in the first portion, and while it heated up some towards the end, it was really questionable booking, as Hunter loses, but gets a title shot the next night, and we learn Perfect and Hunter were aligned the whole time. Seriously, dude – why go after Perfect? You had Austin beat! Just pin him and then go Eiffel Tower that bitch in the dressing room! ½*.

WWF Tag Team Title Match: Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith v The Smoking Gunns: This was during the Smoking Gunns break-up angle, as they had lost the titles to Davey and Owen, and had been dumped by Sunny because of it. Also, because they're the fucking Smoking Gunns. Owen and Billy Gunn start, and Billy wins a dumbed down reversal sequence with a clothesline. Watching Owen have to work with what was available in the mid-90s tag division is still a little depressing. One of the saddest things about his death (aside from, like, him dying), is that he never got a chance to work with all of the guys who came in during the early 2000s. Davey has a go with Bart, controlling with a side headlock, but he gets powerslammed. Bart Gunn with a flying bodypress, but he hits the mat, and Bulldog with a standard bodypress for two. Owen with a missile dropkick, and he cradles him for two. Criss cross, and Bart accidentally knocks Billy off of the apron. Well, you knew something like that was coming. They keep it together enough to hit Hart with a double Russian legsweep, and Billy hits a great looking standing neckbreaker for two. Swinging version, as somehow the champs have become the faces in this match, with the crowd cheering for Owen to make the tag, and not responding to the Gunns at all. Sidewinder (sidewalk slam/flying legdrop combo), but Davey pulls Owen out of harms way, and a spinheel kick finishes Billy off at 9:17. Kept short enough, and they were smart enough to use Owen for the heat segment. ¾*. Afterwards, the Gunns have HEATED WORDS, but don’t pull the trigger on a break-up. Well, that's gonna lead to some interesting make-up sex, at least.

Jim Ross hits the ring, ranting against Vince McMahon – before that was a common thing to do on the air. Usually that was saved for long car trips between arenas, or while taking a dump. He promises Bret Hart’s return to the WWF for RAW the next night (he had been away since WrestleMania), and says Hart has a lot to say about Vince, Shawn Michaels, and more. Vince takes umbrage when Ross publicly credits himself for Bret’s return to the WWF (something Vince took great pride in), venting at him – and you can see the shots are hitting a little too close to home for McMahon, his reactions awkward and jokes more forced than usual. I know this began as an angle (Jim Ross, Jaded Announcer!), but I think it went too far – and based on the way McMahon treats Ross to this day I wouldn’t be surprised if he still holds something of a grudge.

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Marc Mero v Goldust: After years of spotty hotties in the WWF, in 1996 they finally BROUGHT THE ASSCREAM with Sunny, Sable, and Marlena - two of whom are in this match. Ah, what a time to hit puberty. Funny moment in the opening bit, as Goldust rubs on Mero, causing him to nearly puke, flip out, and shove him away. Hmm, guess some pastor must have gotten a hold of him between his WWF debut and WCW exit, because I remember a guy named Johnny B. Badd who made Goldust look like Ron Swanson. Nice reversal sequence to start, and Mero takes him down with a series of armdrags. Mero with a headscissors takedown, and a backdrop puts Goldust out, so Mero follows with his slingshot seated senton. Slingshot legdrop back in for two, and he goes upstairs, but gets powerbombed off. Goldust works a chinlock, but Sable starts spanking the mat to get the crowd pumped up. It works, and Mero gets a bodypress off of a criss cross for two. Side suplex, and Mero hits a fantastic springboard moonsault off of the top for two. Goldust catches him in the Curtaincall (hangman's neckbreaker), but Mero counters into a reverse-underhook roll-up, for two. Blind charge allows Goldust to backdrop him to the floor, where Mero gets into a conversation with Hurley and Charlie from LOST. Mr. Perfect still has some lingering questions, too, though, so he makes his way over, to help him in the ring, and that draws out Triple H, as I guess they’re done sightseeing France. Inside, Mero drops Goldust like a Samoan, and the Wildthing (shooting star press) finishes at 11:38. Fun match – and a good showcase for Mero, before an injury a few months after this ruined what could have been a lot more of a career. ** ½.

#1 Contenders Match: Vader v Sid: WWF Champion Shawn Michaels comes out to do guest commentary. Sid takes him down right away, and hits his angel fucking legdrop for two. He tries a slam, but, you know, physics and all, so it doesn't work out. Vader just beats the piss out of him (or, maybe in Sid's case, the shits) in the corner, and hits an avalanche, dropping Sid to the floor. He spends an easy hundred count out there, but finally decides to actually, like, continue to professionally wrestle, and sunset flips in, only to get buttsplashed. Another avalanche, but Sid counters with a big boot, and tries a flying bodypress, but gets caught, and kinda slammed, but mostly just dropped. Splash gets two, so does it again off of the 2^nd rope, but he pulls him up at two, because apparently he has never seen a professional wrestling match before. Vaderbomb hits the knees (if ‘hit’ means ‘loosely skimmed’), and Sid satisfies Chekhov by hitting the slam. Powerbomb, but Vader goes low by going low. Vader with his own powerbomb, but Sid is a fellow master, and blocks, and the chokeslam finishes at 8:00. Vader is a terrific wrestler, but his push was all but dead at this point, and he might as well have mailed in this performance. Plus, both guys are 'Masters of the Powerbomb' (that was their damn tag team name in WCW), and you finish with a CHOKESLAM? Fuck off! ¼*.

Main Event: Buried Alive Match: The Undertaker v Mankind: This was the first ever Buried Alive match, and was definitely intriguing to a kid - along with this feud, which was one of the better ones the WWF did in the mid-90s, particularly with the Undertaker character. The concept is that there is a cemetery set near the entrance area, with an open grave, and the first man to get the other inside of the grave, and then bury him in six feet of earth wins. It came about based on the Undertaker's gimmick, and because these two were feuding so intensely for the bulk of 1996, that it seemed like the only fitting ending was one guy literally killing the other. Brawl to start, and 'Taker throws him into the rail. He goes up top, and hits a flying clothesline into the aisle, and starts beating him towards to cemetery. They go tumbling down the cemetery set hill (picture a giant mountain of dirt, with patches of grass – some landscaper in Indianapolis made a killing that day), and head back to the ring area having established the gimmick. 'Taker chokes him out with an electrical cable, and they head into the crowd, allowing Mankind to take a bump over the rail, and 'Taker to follow with a hands-free clothesline over the rail, and after him. Into the ring for basically the first time in the match, and 'Taker gets crotched trying the ropewalk forearm. Paul Bearer (at this point aligned with Mankind, for anyone Bearer tracking) slips Mankind a shiv, and he gets all stabby on 'Taker - which I remember scared me as a kid. I thought now he'd gone too far. Literally burying the other man alive - fine. But prison weapons? Too much. 'Taker comes back with the jumping clothesline, but wastes time chasing Bearer on the floor, and Mankind catches him with a chair. He drags him to the cemetery, and gets him in the grave, but the Undertaker doesn’t want to die yet, and pulls him down inside with him before the burial is complete – which is one of the weirder sentences I’ve had to type. 'Taker hiptosses him out of the cemetery, and they head back to the ring where Mankind piledrives him. Double-arm DDT onto the chair, but he gets distracted playing with Paul Bearer, and 'Taker whacks him with the chair. Weird transition there - as Mankind just looked foolish, and not like the killer his gimmick works so hard to sell him as. To the floor, 'Taker gives him a backdrop driver into the steps, and inside, 'Taker with the tombstone. He carries him to the grave, but Mankind gets him in the Mandible Claw. He looks to finish, but 'Taker counters with a chokeslam into the grave, and shovels on a bit of dirt to get the victory at 18:25. The referee says enough, damn it, but the Undertaker knows Mankind needs to be finished, and he is up to the task of homicide. He continues shoveling on dirt until The Executioner (Terry Gordy, under a mask) makes the save, and he, Mankind and a bunch of random heels spend forever burying 'Taker under all six feet of the dirt. BUT WAIT - just before the show goes off the air - lightning strikes the grave, and THE UNDERTAKER'S HAND comes shooting out of the dirt! He’s okay, kids! You can try that at home! The match was different than anything else you'd have seen in the WWF at the time, but had no flow, as the graveyard was set too far from ring, causing too many sections where it was 'I'll drag you by the hair to the grave, now you pull me back to the ring so we can do more spots,' as opposed to a standard casket match where the object is right at ringside - which works better. Still, an interesting concept, and one they would use again - but not a great match. * ½.

BUExperience:  Yeah, so, I loved this as kid (The Undertaker gets buried alive!), but sixteen years later – not being wrapped up in all of the angles, and not being, you know, eleven – yeah, it sucks. Austin/Triple H would be done better, later, once they became main eventers. Undertaker/Mankind was run, about, 1,000 times on WWF pay per view, and most of them were better than this one. Mero/Goldust is fun, but nothing worth tracking a show down for. *.