WWF In Your House - Mind Games (September 1996)

I saw this one on pay per view at a wrestling buddies (to be clear, a buddy who I watched wrestling with) uncle’s house, who also let us order WrestleMania that year. While I don’t remember much of the show other than worrying whether or not Shawn Michaels (our de facto hero, while Bret Hart was away from the WWF) could defeat the monstrous Mankind, it was a really fun night, and my friends uncle even got us McDonalds at some point during the show – and when you’re eleven, that pretty much makes it the best day ever.

From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Mr. Perfect – who is actually a third person, not Vince’s ego.


Free for All Match: Marty Jannetty v Savio Vega: Dance showdown to start, but a proper criss cross allows Vega a monkey flip, and they fight over a headlock. Jannetty with a kneelift for two, but Savio rolls through a flying bodypress to finish at 5:22. Marty didn't even bring his kneepads - this was just going through the motions. DUD. Afterwards, Justin Bradshaw runs in to jump Vega, and since this is Philly we get a sort of impromptu-match.

Caribbean Strap Match: Justin Bradshaw v Savio Vega: Bradshaw jumps him before he can even get the strap on, and gets some shots in, before the referee shows him the mercy of stopping to tie him to the large hick who is beating him with a belt. To the floor, Vega uses physics to post him, but Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman from ECW (sitting at ringside) throw beer in Vega's face, in what was an angle, but they play as a shoot - desperate to try and rival the nWo invasion angle from WCW. Inside, Bradshaw walks him to three corners, but gets side suplexed. Vega whips away, and hits a spinkick. Three corners, but Bradshaw pulls him back from the fourth, and hits a big boot. Lariat, and he HANSENS UP!! for three corners, but Savio pulls the old 'follow, and hit the corners behind him, then beat him to the fourth' routine' for the win at 7:09. That would have been a better bit if he hadn't just done it with Steve Austin in May. And, you know, if this were a better match. Slow, boring blowoff to the forgettable Vega/Bradshaw feud. ¼*.

Jim Cornette v Jose Lothario: This was the epic battle of Shawn Michaels and Vader's managers, and even as a kid this didn't intrigue me in the least. Cornette tries to jump him, but gets met with fists of fury, and... actually, that's about it. A bunch of punches finish Cornette at 0:57. This was basically to prove that Lothario was still a though guy to modern WWF audiences – who saw him as ‘that old man in Shawn Michaels’ corner’ –and justify his position more than anything else. DUD.

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Smoking Gunns v Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith: Bulldog and Owen play mind games (hey!) with the champs to start, by unveiling a defaced poster of manager Sunny, blown up to arena size. Gags like that must have cost so much more in the era before giant video screens. They then play body games with them, as Owen throws Billy Gunn around, and hits a bodypress for two. Owen with an inside cradle for two, and Bart Gunn comes in. Owen quickly chopblocks him, and works the knee. Bulldog comes in, and Bart gets an early Thanksgiving, with a wishbone. As I've noted elsewhere, Davey's legwork never made sense to me from a psychological standpoint - as his finish is a Running Powerslam - but when he started tagging up with Owen, it worked, as he was the muscle, weakening the leg for Owen's finish. Hanging vertical suplex for two, when Billy saves, and Owen tries a leglock, but gets cradled for two. He responds with an enzuigiri for two, but Davey gets caught with a cheap shot from Billy during a criss cross, and tossed into the steps. Back inside, the Sidewinder (sidewalk slam/flying legdrop combo) looks to finish, but Owen makes the save, as Sunny nearly has a heart attack on the floor. Her heart is located underneath her boobies for those concerned. The match considerably slows down, as Gunns continue to work over Davey with punchy-kicky stuff, until he counters a Bart running powerslam with his own to win the titles at 10:59. Afterwards, life long gold digger Sunny dumps the Gunns for losing the belts, in an angle that eventually ended with their break-up. They took too long to transition into the finish after the Sidewinder spot, and the legwork went nowhere – but not horrible, or anything. ½*. They would have an equally uninteresting rematch the next month.

Jerry Lawler v Mark Henry: This was very early in Mark Henry's run, as they were playing off of his legitimate Olympic background (the '96 Summer Games had just happened in Atlanta, and he's dressed as an athlete at the opening ceremonies, to really hammer it home), doing a 'World's Strongest Man' gimmick. Lawler reels off insults on the house microphone before things can get started, but then tries to avoid tying-up. That goes on forever, until finally Lawler agrees to a lockup, and nearly jizzes his pants when he gets a headlock off of it. They do a whole sequence where Henry reverses anything Lawler puts on (headlock! Hammerlock!), but when Lawler tries a slam, Henry just throws him clear across the ring. Shoulderblock, so Lawler tries his own, but Henry simply sidesteps him, and Jerry goes tumbling out to the floor. Jerry decides to play the one act he knows Henry won't be able to follow, and busts out a pair of brass knux. Henry PRIDES UP!! however, and an overhead backbreaker finishes at 5:13. Wrestling 101. Henry was greener than... some…really green stuff... and this was the perfect format for him to work at this point. ¼*.

Final Curtain Match: The Undertaker v Goldust: The 'Final Curtain' match is basically just a 'No Holds Barred' match, as this was the final blowoff to the Epic(ly boring) Undertaker/Goldust feud. 'Taker takes it right to him to start, and Goldust bails to seek comfort in manager Marlena's ample tits. It must have worked, because he goes right in with a swinging neckbreaker, but 'Taker isn't feeling like selling, and hits a big boot. Suplex gets two, and the ropewalk forearm (dude, three matches of getting killed with that move, and he still hasn’t figured out he counter yet? Just sloppy booking) lets him dump Goldust, but Marlena passes him a loaded glove out there. Kind of ridiculous that he would dump him, from a logical standpoint - as there are no countouts, and he was dominating him. Just a bad transition. Inside, Goldust unloads with the loaded glove, and actually gets two off of a hip toss. And a sloppy one at that. Biting, and it's hard to tell who's wearing more makeup here: 'Taker or Goldust - but I think Goldust takes 'Taker by a brushstroke. Powerslam gets two, but 'Taker gets the jumping clothesline, and you know now he means business! Chokeslam, and the tombstone dusts him off at 10:23. It hardly took advantage of the stipulations, but the Undertaker wrestled a gimmick match almost every month during this period - he likely couldn't keep track of the rules, the poor guy. Likely the worst in a horrible series of matches, as these two just had zero chemistry together. DUD.

Main Event: WWF Title Match: Shawn Michaels v Mankind: Shawn sells a bit of fear in locking up with the terrifying Mankind to start, and Mankind takes control of the initial lockup, getting a backdrop, and a Cactus clothesline to put them outside. Shawn tries to climb back in, but Mankind bucks him off of the apron, into the guardrail. He starts to pull up the mats, and in a beautiful spot, Michaels dropkicks the mats onto him, burying him underneath, and then double-stomps all over it, like a kid jumping on the bed. Twisting bodypress off of the top, and he slams his head onto the exposed floor. Inside, Michaels with a flying axehandle, and a slam sets up his flying elbowdrop. He revs up the band, looking to finish early, but Mankind bails to the floor. Back inside after regrouping, they appear to botch a springboard spot, and Shawn chews him out over it - though it was all a work, in a brilliant nod to Michaels' actual backstage problems around this period, particularly when he lost his cool in the ring with Vader over a blown move at SummerSlam. And with pretty much everyone else (wrestlers, referees, road agents, props, a can of soda, the moon…), up and down the card, all year long. Perfect setting to do a bit like that, as well, as a good percentage of the Philly crowd would have been in on it at this point. Mankind goes for the Mandible Claw, but Shawn slugs away to stop him, so Mankind dumps him. He sets up a table out there, so Shawn leaps through the air with a bodypress to stop that effort, and then suplexes him onto the steps, nearly breaking his leg. Inside, Shawn clips the knee, and hammers away on it. See, this sort of psychology works - as it doesn't set up Shawn's finisher - but he hurt Mankind's leg through the natural course of the match, as opposed to targeting the leg. He has to follow up on it, otherwise that would be psychologically unsound. Figure four, but Mankind reverses, so Shawn dropkicks the knee. Half-crab, but Mankind makes the ropes, so he gets a sunset flip for two. He tries a rana, but Mankind drops him with a stungun. He starts beating on his own leg in frustration, so manager Paul Bearer (at his point, aligned with Mankind, for anyone Bearer-tracking) hands him a shiv - which he stabs his own leg with, just to make sure it's still working right. The little touches of insanity in the Mankind character are what made him so terribly terrifying as a kid - or just great, in general. He takes the weapon after Michaels, and hits his cross corner knee - half to take it out of Michaels, and half because he's a masochist, and wants to batter his own leg. Faceslam, and Shawn Flair flips into a Tree of woe. Shawn bumps over the top off of a big boot, but Mankind eats steps off of a blind charge, banging up his knee again. Shawn with a drop-toe hold, dropping Mankind head first into the stairs - and hard. He posts him next, as the stipulation is apparently now 'First Concussion Match,' and inside hits a diving back elbow, and a powerslam for two. Criss cross, and Mankind gets tied in the ropes - 1994 Germany style - but when Shawn goes to capitalize, he gets caught in the Claw! They spill outside, and Shawn counters the Claw by whipping him into the rail. Shawn with a chair (making sure to at least name check a shot to the bad leg), but back inside, Mankind gets the Claw again. Shawn counters by stomping the hell out of his hand, even ripping his brace off to try to prevent him from applying the hold. Yes, but did he get his socks?! Blind charge, and Mankind sends Shawn halfway up the aisle with a backdrop, then follows with a Cactus elbow. Swinging neckbreaker out there, but he makes no effort to bring Michaels in - which makes little sense, as titles don't change hands by countout. Though, ‘Mankind’ and ‘making sense’ go together like ‘rape’ and ‘Bugs Bunny,’ so. Shawn, refusing to take a loss, however, crawls his way back in, only to head right into a double-arm DDT for a dramatic two count. Wedgie piledriver gets a series of two counts, and a fisherman's cradle gets two. Mankind starts flipping out, smacking his head against the mat, and wildly throwing chairs around (dude! Any city but Philly! Remember how the ‘Shawn loses his shit’ bit is perfect for this crowd? Throwing chairs around in Philadelphia is the exact polar opposite), and tries to throw Shawn into the casket he brought with him for the occasion. No go, however, and Shawn with the diving forearm. Flying bodypress gets two, but he gets crotched on the top, and Mankind follows him up, trying a side suplex to the floor, but Shawn counters in midair, and turns it into a bodypress through the table Mankind set up earlier. Gun introduced. Gun fired. Vince 'checks on Shawn' out there, actually passing along instructions that it's time to go home - because God forbid they save this show any harder. The best part is watching Shawn wave him off. ‘What are you gonna do, put the title on Sid?’ They pull themselves out of the rubble, and Mankind heads to the top with a chair, but Shawn dropkicks it into his face to finish. Vader runs in, however, giving Shawn the disqualification win at 26:25. Horrible ending to an excellent, creative brawl – one filled with wonderful sequences, and that doesn’t fall into any standard 'formulas’ – and would never need to. Incredible pacing by both men, the only faults being the non-ending (setting up Vader to win the WWF Title at Survivor Series, which ended up going to Sid instead), and lack of blood, which a brawl like this really needed. Lack of color aside, this was still an incredibly brutal match, with both guys bumping like madmen, particularly the always intense Mick Foley. **** ½

BUExperience:  Up until the main event, this might have been a candidate for one of the worst pay per views of all time. Nothing of particular historical significance, a green Mark Henry learning to work, a horrible Undertaker match – it just wasn’t going well. The main event saves it from that distinction – though not by much. While it is a wild brawl that still holds up today, and it is well worth checking out, it can’t justify watching the other hour and a half. Even at eleven years old I was left numb with this show, as I remember kids talking about the main event the next day at school – if they even bothered to watch the show – but only between conversations about what was going on in WCW. *.