WWE Rebellion (October 2002)

From Manchester, England; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz

Opening Match: Matt Hardy v Booker T: Weird bit at the start, as Matt calls for a test-of-strength, which Cole interprets as Hardy boasting about being a five-time tag team champion. They trade hammerlocks, and Booker clotheslines him down to block a hiptoss, then dropkicks him out of the ring. Back in, Matt surprises him with a schoolboy for two, so Booker tries a spinkick, but Matt bails to avoid it. This time, Booker follows to attack on the floor, but gets caught with a boot on the way back in, and Matt stunguns him, then follows with a neckbreaker for two. Booker tries a sunset cradle to comeback, but Matt cuts him off with the Side Effect for two, then slaps on a chinlock. Booker escapes, but Matt legdrops him, and hits another neckbreaker for another two count. Back to the chinlock, but Booker escapes, and catches him with a spinebuster. Slugfest goes Booker's way with a superkick for two, and a spinheel kick is worth two. Matt blocks a corner charge to setup a 2^nd rope legdrop, but Booker gets out of the way, and hits him with a missile dropkick for two. BookEnd gets two when Matt gets into the ropes, and Hardy snaps off the Twist of Fate out of the deal, for two. He tries another, but Booker counters with an axekick for the pin at 12:01. This was total house show fare, but it was decent in that respect. *

Mixed Tag Team Match: Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson v John Cena and Dawn Marie: Cena attacks while Kidman is busy holding Torrie back, but gets caught with a headscissors before he can do much. Billy goes for a victory roll next, but gets dumped onto the top rope, and whipped into the corner. Hanging vertical suplex (including a cool taunt where Cena does squats with Kidman in the air), but he takes too long executing it, and Billy escapes into a rollup for two. Tag to Dawn, and she punts away on Kidman, but he pulls her hair to stop the effort, and tags Torrie in to help literally spank Marie – which I’m pretty sure is a finish they lifted from Lou Thesz and Bill Longson. Wilson with an armdrag and a dropkick for two, but Dawn manages a schoolgirl for two and a sitout facebuster for two. Torrie comes back with an ugly spinebuster, but Cena sneaks in and bodyslams her to cut that off. Wow, you'd NEVER see that today. John tags in to continue the beating, but gets blown low, and Kidman gets the tag - nailing John boy with a flying backelbow for two. Springboard bulldog gets two, so Dawn runs in to catfight with Torrie to distract Kidman, but a follow-up by Cena gets countered into an enzuigiri, and Billy finishes him with the Shooting Star Press at 5:25. That Cena, what a jobber. *

Crash Holly v Funaki: Reversal sequence goes to a stalemate, so Crash shows him he means business by pulling a Japanese headband out of his tights, and doing a kata. Touchy Funaki gets offended and unloads kicks in response, and hits a sunset flip for two, but gets swept as they go towards the ropes. Good, serves him right for being so intolerant of Crash's heritage. Holly chinlocks him down, but gets his eyes raked, and Funaki cradles him for two, so Holly lays him out with a clothesline, and corner whips him. Stinger splash misses, however, and Funaki hits a bulldog then follows up with a jumping DDT. Nice execution on that one. Seated dropkick gets two, but another DDT gets countered into an inverted atomic drop, and Crash blocks a victory cradle for two. Funaki tries for an enzuigiri, but Crash counters into a magistral cradle - only to have Funaki reverse it on the mat for the pin at 5:35. Not much to this one. ¾*

WWE Cruiserweight Title Triple Threat Match: Jamie Noble v Tajiri v Rey Mysterio: This is elimination rules. Noble takes it to both challengers before the bell, but gets overwhelmed when Rey backdrops him over the top, then dives onto both he and Tajiri with a corkscrew plancha. Inside, that gets Rey two on Jamie, but Tajiri saves, and kicks his fellow challenger into the corner. Rey responds by bulldogging him for two, but Noble breaks it up with a northern lights suplex on Rey for two. Tajiri nails them both with the handspring elbow, then takes Rey out with the Tarantula, but the Buzzsaw misses on Noble, and Jamie eliminates Tajiri with a double-underhook powerbomb at 2:51. Powerbomb for Rey, but Mysterio counters with a rana into a cradle for two, then spinheel kicks the champ. Headscissors sets up a flying rana, but Jamie catches him in a powerbomb on the way down for two. Nice sequence there, as it started with Noble going for a powerbomb, then finished with him getting it after a series of counters. Nidia wraps Rey's arm around the post to give Jamie a part to work, and he snapmares Mysterio down to start abusing the arm, as Cole and Tazz wonder if there's 'really' a place called 'Wales,' and if there is, if there's also a place called 'Dolphins' or 'Sharks.' You know, sometimes someone feeding the announcers lines might not be such a bad thing. Noble with a lariat for two, and a hammerlocked northern lights suplex gets two. Armbreaker, but Rey escapes and scrambles to the top rope, so Noble tries bringing him down with an electric chair, but gets countered into a tornado DDT. That's his own fault for being stupid enough to put Rey fucking Mysterio up onto his shoulders, frankly. Rey with a slingshot-springboard legdrop for two, and a flying seated senton gets two. Jamie slows him down with a falcon arrow for two, but Rey keeps coming with a crazy standing sunset bomb, so Nidia distract the referee to prevent a count. That allows Jamie to sneak up with a side suplex, so Rey counters into a drop-toehold to setup the 619, but Nidia trips him to cut him off yet again. These guys are putting a lot of effort into beating a guy who's smaller than most pets. That distraction allows Jamie to hit the double-underhook powerbomb, but it only gets two. He tries a German suplex, but Rey counters into a victory roll - only for Noble to stop short into a cradle to retain at 12:48. Fun match, with a spotty three way start, then settling into a nice groove with Noble working Mysterio's arm (though it ended up ultimately being pointless), then a hot finish with Noble and Nidia throwing everything at Mysterio, but Rey fighting back at every turn like an underdog hero. ** ¾

D-Von Dudley and Ron Simmons v Chuck Palumbo and Val Venis: Venis is a sub for Billy Gunn here. Chuck gets his ass handed to him early on, and Ron powerslams him for two. Guess he tried stepping to Ron. Simmons with an abdominal stretch, as Cole has the audacity to referee to the Acolytes as 'one of the greatest tag teams ever.' Wow, there's puffing, and then there's just outright lying, Michael. Val gets the tag and manages a few seconds of offense before getting cutoff in a double-team, and getting the ring cut in half. Chuck gets the tag for a four-way brawl, but gets distracted and rolled up by D-Von at 4:09. This was the wrestling equivalent of watching paint dry, but at least it was short. DUD

Kiss My Ass Match: Rikishi v A-Train: Rikishi dominates a power showdown to start, but A-Train manages to backpedal out of the ring to avoid a butt bump in a pretty funny visual gag. Back in, Train calls for a test-of-strength, and takes a cheapshot, then pounds Rikishi in the corner. He exposes the top turnbuckle and corner whips Rikishi into it to setup an avalanche, and he works a chinlock. Rikishi escapes for a double-knockout spot, and he wins a slugfest as they recover with a Samoan drop. DDT gets two, but Train manages a bicycle kick for two before Rikishi can continue the onslaught. Unfortunately, he misses a charge into the exposed buckle, and Rikishi superkicks him to setup the Rump Shaker at 7:18. If I missed anything in there I apologize, but I was trying to avert my eyes from the screen as much as possible. DUD

WWE Tag Team Title Match: Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit v Los Guerreros: The challengers taunt them by stealing the belts, and an infuriated Angle starts with Eddie Guerrero - only for Eddie to immediately tag out to Chavo Guerrero to further infuriate Angle. Heh. Unfortunately for Chavo, Kurt takes his frustrations out on him on the mat, so Eddie runs back in with a cheapshot - only to run into an elbow, and get knocked out of the ring. The dust settles on Benoit and Eddie, and they trade hammer and headlocks until Chris tilt-a-whirl backbreakers him during a criss cross. Cute bit, as Eddie does a blatantly overblown sell job on a weak cross corner whip, so Benoit just pulls him up, and slaps him around in the corner for making too much out of it. Everyone runs in for an exchange - dominated by the champs with suplexes - but they have trouble working together, and nearly come to blows. They put their differences aside for more suplexes (they should really try that at the UN someday), and the dust settles on Kurt and Chavo. Angle snap suplexes him for two, and Benoit kneelifts him into oblivion, but Chavo gets a tag off, and the Guerreros double-team. Eddie takes over with a side suplex on Benoit, but makes the mistake of tagging Chavo back in before properly dismantling the champ, and Benoit drops him with the Crippler Crossface. Chavo gets the ropes, but the point is made, so the Guerreros cheat to takeover again, and Eddie suplexes Chris on the floor. Back in, Eddie slingshot somersault sentons him for two, then slaps on the gory special, and just as Cole notes that there's no escape, Chris counters it into a sunset cradle for two. Timing! The challengers continue to cut the ring in half, but Eddie takes a flapjack and a powerbomb to allow the tag. Suplexes abound for the four-way brawl - leading to a neat sequence where Benoit sets Chavo up for the rolling Germans, but Eddie interrupts after the first alarm, so Chris lets off Chavo, and gives Eddie the second alarm instead! That sets up the flying headbutt on Eddie for two (with Kurt making the cover), but Chavo breaks it up, and brainbusters Kurt for Eddie to cover for two. Eddie with the Frogsplash, but Benoit breaks it up with a Crossface, so Chavo saves, but Chris blocks a brainbuster, and suplexes Chavo clear out of the damn ring! Olympic Slam for Eddie, but he shoves Kurt into Chris to block, then uses the opportunity to clotheslines Angle down for the Lasso From El Paso. Kurt counters into the Anklelock, but the referee is down, so Chavo saves by whacking Angle with the title belt. That gets two for Eddie, so Chavo goes up top to finish - only for Benoit to shove him off, and shove Eddie into an Olympic Slam from Angle to retain at 16:36. So much for guys phoning it in on the UK shows. The usual goodness from this crew, with loads of great tag team psychology, and flawless execution throughout. *** ½

Main Event: WWE Title Handicap Match: Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman v Edge: Paul one ups IRS, and opts to wrestle in a full suit. But then, Irwin never had the baseball cap. Brock easily overpowers Edge in the early going, but gets caught with a drop-toehold while charging, then dropkicked out of the ring. Back in, Brock tries spearing him down, but Edge counters with a sunset flip for two, then counters a press-slam with a sunset cradle for two. Edge knocks him out of the ring again, and this time follows as Brock catches his breath - ramming Lesnar into the apron, then the post. Heyman gets involved to allow Lesnar to clobber the challenger on the way back in, but Brock misses a charge, and Edge spinheel kicks him, then spears Paul off the apron for getting in the way earlier. Impaler, but Brock counters with an overhead suplex, then tosses him out to the floor to get a bit of retribution via the ringpost. Inside, that's worth two, so Brock adds a backbreaker, and slaps on a neat looking modified Boston crab that someone should steal as a finisher. Edge makes the ropes, so Brock slaps on a chinlock instead. Brock goes for a powerslam as Edge escapes, but the challenger counters into a rollup for two, so Lesnar nails him with a clothesline for two, then grounds him again with a waistlock. Edge escapes and manages a dropkick, but then promptly walks into a spinebuster for two. Brock keeps hammering him, but misses a cross corner charge, and Edge schoolboys him for two, then hits a diving forearm. Spinheel kick gets countered into a powerslam, but Edge counters back into a half-nelson bulldog, then adds the Edge-o-Matic for two. Clothesline knocks Brock out of the ring, and Edge brings Heyman in to finish instead - figuring him for an easier get. He hits him with a flying axehandle, but Brock is back before he can score the fall, so Edge kicks him off, and back out of the ring. This time, he punctuates it with a flying bodypress out there, then a missile dropkick on the way back in for two. Flying bodypress hits the referee when Brock ducks, but Edge still manages to counter the F5 into the Impaler - only to have no referee for the count! Lesnar gets a chair, but Edge spears him to block for two, then tries another flying bodypress, but gets swatted out of the air with the chair, and F5'd at 18:40. A bit too heavy on the restholds in the middle, but good timing throughout, and generally entertaining. * ½

BUExperience: The Tag Title match is awesome, and the Cruiserweight title match is lots of fun, but there’s no historical significance or all-time classic matches to make this one worth watching, overall.

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