WWF Monday Night RAW (June 5, 1995)

Original Airdate: June 5, 1995

From Struthers, Ohio; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

Bob Backlund sets up soapbox outside the 'arena' (they're taping at a high school - DIESEL POWER!) to campaign/yell at a bunch of people like the crazy old man he is

Opening Match: Savio Vega v Kenny Kendall: They were lucky Facebook wasn't around in 1995, otherwise I don't think even Vince's propaganda machine could have convinced people Vega was actually some sort of Caribbean 'legend.' Shit like that, and 'tournaments' that 'took place' in exotic locales would get instantly shit on. Vega's also shaved the WWF logo into his hair, which I'm going to go ahead and guess was a rib involving the Kliq, and lots of alcohol. Savio with an abdominal stretch at 2:00. A sign in the crowd notes that 'the remote stops HERE!' Yeah, wait 'til September. DUD

Diesel vignette, presumably since he's injured, but they want to keep him fresh in your mind to trick you into thinking you miss him. Plus, in vignette form, no restholds!

Backstage, Ted DiBiase promises that Sid and Tatanka will put Diesel right back in the hospital at King of the Ring

Also backstage, Bodydonna Skip runs the steps of the high school hallways as Sunny talks him up. There really should be some sort of law about wearing outfits like that in a high school. In fact, I'm pretty sure that there are!

Barry Didinsky wants you to buy the new King of the Ring t-shirt. It's practically a steal at only $18! All the words are spelled right, and everything!

Skip v Barry Horowitz: Sunny! Ten year old me thanks you, WWF. Not that these gimmicks are doing anybody any favors, but the concept of Pain & Gain style douchebaggy fitness gurus is certainly something worth exploring. Hey, Rock even has experience now! Skip with a flying legdrop at 2:37. Don't worry though, Barry would get his win back later. ¼*

King of the Ring Report! Todd apparently read my review of last weeks show, because the mullet is gone! Move over Fatu, I'm makin' a difference here now!

WWF King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Owen Hart v Davey Boy Smith: This is a weird one, as Davey Boy was in the midst of legal troubles in Canada and couldn't show, so instead, they air this match that was taped as a non-King of the Ring related dark match from the first In Your House. I'm assuming this was originally meant for Coliseum Video, or something, since we've now got Jim Ross and Gorilla Monsoon providing commentary. Anyway, Smith holds Owen in an armbar to start, but Hart flip-flops his way into a reversal. Davey counters into a hammerlock, but Owen escapes, so Smith press-slams him for two, and Owen bails. He stalls for a bit, so Davey Boy brings him in hardway by using the top rope as a slingshot, then goes back to the armbar. Hart uppercuts his way out, but gets hiptossed, and monkeyflipped back into the hold. Owen escapes with some chops, but misses a cross corner charge, and takes a hanging vertical suplex for two. Why is Mr. Fuji waving a Japanese flag in support of Owen? I mean, I get that he's Yokozuna's partner and all, but Yoko's not even there! Were Canadian flags really too hard to find in Upstate New York? Smith goes to a chinlock, but runs into a kneelift as Owen escapes, and gets choked out on the apron. Hart takes his head off with a spinheel kick to setup a somersault cradle for two, then slaps on a sleeper. Davey side suplexes his way out, and hits a sunset flip for two, but walks into an enzuigiri for two - as things finally pick up. Hart tries a dropkick, but gets caught in a slingshot, and Davey unloads a series of turnbuckle smashes, then fisherman suplexes him for two. Surfboard weakens Owen for a two count, and the Running Powerslam looks to finish, but Owen's in the ropes. Inside cradle for two, and a crucifix for two, so Owen counters a backdrop with his own inside cradle for two - reversed back by Davey for two. Owen tries a piledriver, but Davey backdrops him, so Hart counters into a sunset flip for two. Backslide, but time expires at 15:00 for a draw. Why's the time limit always got to go at the backslide? This was clearly a dark match in every way, and they were just sleepwalking through the valley of restholds for most of it, before it kicked into gear for the last couple of minutes. *

Jerry Lawler accepts Bret Hart's challenge for a match, but only under the condition that they make it a 'Kiss My Foot' match, with Lawler showing off his unwashed feet

Vince brings Bret Hart out for an in-ring interview, and asks (with a completely straight face) if, in his long and illustrious career, he ever thought he'd find himself in a Kiss My Foot match. The look Bret shoots him in response answers that question

Jean Pierre Lafitte v Jerry Flynn: Maybe Vince should have added, '…and then realized that wasn't even the low point, because feuding with a pirate over a leather jacket is still to come this fall!' This is joined in progress, and Jean with an impressive somersault plancha, then the Cannonball at 1:26. ¼*

Bob Backlund is still ranting and raving outside of the arena, but since all the fans have went inside to watch the show, he's alone in the dark. He has a flashlight though, so don’t worry! Given that the only somewhat decent match wasn't even live, I'd probably have preferred to stay outside with Bob, myself

And finally, they play the epic ‘I’ll Be Your Hero’ music video from SummerSlam 1993 to promote yet another Lex Luger/Yokozuna match next week

BUExperience: What’s with the live shows sucking so much every time?