WWF Monday Night RAW (July 3, 1995)

Original Airdate: July 3, 1995 (Taped June 26)

From Danville, Pennsylvania; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

1-2-3 Kid v Mike Bell: This is Kid's return, after sustaining a legit neck injury back in April, which forced him to miss In Your House. And indirectly led to the debut of Savio Vega! That would have actually been a fun feud, with Kid coming back and getting pissed at Vega for hogging all of Razor Ramon's affections. I mean, not 'good,' but at least the matches would have probably been decent. For now Kid has his hands full with Mike Bell, but somehow manages to overcome this candy cane jobber with an Oklahoma roll at 2:58. ¼*

In Your House Report! I remember being really confused by the concept of running In Your House as a monthly thing between the big shows. Not confused by the concept of monthly shows, but of the fact that they were using the same (shitty) name over and over. At least WCW actually had unique show themes for every month

With My Baby Tonight music video! It took them two years to pay it off, but the Double J character finally does just what he always said he would: sing! The song is actually catchy as hell, and Jeff doing the strut during the guitar break is pretty awesome

Bob Holly v Brooklyn Brawler: No one cares about either of these guys, so McMahon and Lawler spend the match discussing the music video, as well as Lawler's breath issues due to the Kiss My Foot Match at King of the Ring. Give it to Lawler too, he's getting this stupid angle that involves horse shit and a dentist over like gangbusters. I feel bad for kids today, who likely only know Lawler as 'that drone who sits next to Michael Cole.' Holly with a flying bodypress at 2:58. ¼*

On Superstars over the weekend, Adam Bomb got slopped by Henry Godwinn. Hey, I've been complaining for weeks that they should give Bomb something to do. I was hoping for something a bit more substantial than 'feud with a pig farmer over pig slop,' but baby steps

Henry Godwinn v Barry Horowitz: Oh man, they must be really serious about this feud, if they're giving Godwinn the quality jobbers. They also start laying the groundwork for Barry's upset over Skip, as McMahon notes that he's 'yet to win a match,' and talk about Godwinn's victory as a foregone conclusion. And, I mean, yeah, it was. But they usually didn't outright say that no matter how obvious it would be that the jobber didn't have a hope in hell. Slop Drop finishes at 2:58. There is some precise squashing going on this week. DUD

Barry Didinsky wants you to buy the new Adam Bomb t-shirt! Only $20! Proceeds go to buying shampoo

Sid v Bam Bam Bigelow: Cool bit, as Ted DiBiase catches Henry Godwinn before he leaves ringside, and pays him off to attack Bigelow during the entrances. Sure, it's only Henry Godwinn, but I appreciate the effort. He only gets in a few shots before the referees pull them apart, but that certainly enough to disorient Bam Bam some. Sid stalls to start, as apparently he's now being pushed as a chicken, who fears Bigelow and Diesel - hence the need for a Lumberjack Match at In Your House. I get why they switched gears because of the pitfalls of trying to book a Lumberjack Match with a babyface champion, but then why book it to begin with? What's wrong with a Cage Match (to keep the Corporation out), or whatever. The whole reason Sid got over to begin with is because he was a badass. Maybe they were afraid people would start cheering him over Diesel if they kept booking him that way? I can't understand why else they would ever kill the characters appeal, otherwise. Bigelow controls with a shoulderblock, and he catches Sid with a DDT coming out of the corner. That's enough to setup the flying headbutt in his mind, but Ted DiBiase distracts him, and Sid clobbers him from behind. Okay, so it's not enough just to make him into a coward who runs away, but Bigelow hits two moves, and he's supposedly finished if not for DiBiase's save? What kind of title threat is that? Fucking Mike Bell puts up more of a fight against Bigelow. Okay, so now Sid takes over with a series of big boots, and he slaps on a reverse chinlock. Bigelow escapes with an electric chair, but a cross corner charge misses, and Sid chokeslams him. Powerbomb, but Bam Bam manages to backdrop him to block, and he goes up for the flying headbutt again, but this time gets shoved off by Godwinn, and Sid covers for the pin at 7:00. Okay, so not only is he a coward. Not only is he a member of the pitiful Million Dollar Corporation. Not only is he finished after two offensive move by Bam Bam Bigelow. But, he also needs a JTTS pig farmer to beat the guy who lost to a football player at WrestleMania. Man, I wish I could invent a time machine just to go back to 1995 and buy In Your House again! ¼*

Over the weekend, the WWF took part in the Special Olympics. Was Aldo Montoya there as an ambassador, or competitor?

Waylon Mercy v Jeff Hardy: Mercy's bit where he shakes the referees and opponents hand before the match, only to go berserk after the bell rings is pretty cool. Much like the character as a whole. They should base more gimmicks on characters from Scorsese movies. What about a guy who stops to piss in jars during matches? Imagine the type of crazy selling Barry Horowitz could do for some guy doing an After Hours gimmick, who keeps trying to get to the ring but gets delayed each time. Speaking of selling, Jeff sells his little ass off for Mercy here, before finishing him with a sleeper at 2:58 (again). Then, afterwards, Mercy immediately starts shaking the terrified referees hand like he's a babyface again. ¼*

Earlier today, Jerry Lawler tries to convince anyone who will listen that he was robbed at King of the Ring, while in the waiting room at Isaac Yankem's office. He's pretty funny as he goes off on some poor kid, too

BUExperience: Unless you’re just super into seeing squashes that run exactly 2:58, there’s real no reason to subject yourself to this episode. You’d think switching to monthly model would lead to angles developing faster (and, in turn, more exciting television), but things are somehow even more dull during this period than when they had months between pay per views.