WWF Superstars (March 23, 1996)

 

Original Airdate: March 23, 1996 (taped March 10)

From Corpus Christi, Texas; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Mr. Perfect

Goldust v Alex Porteau: The WWF Intercontinental title is not on the line here. Ross calls Goldust a ‘thespian’ here, leading to a funny exchange with a mishearing Perfect. Goldust switching to the shiny onesie was definitely a major improvement around this period. Goldust with the Curtain Call at 2:12. DUD

Ahmed Johnson v Jeff Brettler: Quite the outfit on Brettler here. It’s like Sabu’s gear, if Sabu used his grandmother’s old bed sheet instead of actual clothing. Jim Cornette split screens in, terrified that Yokozuna will earn five minutes alone with him at WrestleMania. Johnson with a sitout tiger bomb to end this energetic squash at 1:38, as Bob Backlund campaigns in the stands. ¼*

Dok Hendrix is in the studio for the WrestleMania XII Slam Jam

Backstage, Vickie LaMotta grooms Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Ultimate Warrior hype ad

Vince brings HHH out to talk about facing Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania, and he’s really got nothing here. This is the most boilerplate interview imaginable 

Backstage, Savio Vega pesters officials to reveal who his tag partner (replacement for Razor Ramon) is going to be in the tag title tournament 

Undertaker is ready to bury Diesel at WrestleMania. I like how ‘putting his hands on Paul Bearer’ is apparently Undertaker’s red line 

Jerry Lawler v Al Jackson: Lawler does the gimmick here where he has a live microphone, and does commentary on his own match. Lawler interviews him first, and then suckers him into a cheap shot when Al goes for a handshake. Lawler beats on him while cracking jokes, before finishing with the piledriver at 3:43. I loved this gimmick as a kid, and it’s still great. Silly, sure, but great. A little too long, though. ¼*

Ross narrates a video on the training methods used by Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels ahead of the Iron Man match. These were great, feeling like the spots during Olympic coverage, or something like that

Backstage, Savio is shocked to learn that his partner will be Steve Austin

WWF Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinal Match: The Bodydonnas v Savio Vega and Steve Austin: Zip and Savio start, and a reversal sequence goes to a stalemate, as they feel each other out. Savio gets control, working the arm, so Zip makes a blind tag. Skip rushes in, but Vega sees him coming, and uses a pair of hiptosses, before grabbing a wristlock. He looks to tag out, but Austin ‘misses it,’ and Skip is able to break the hold. A criss cross allows Vega to nail him, however, and Savio unloads in the corner. A cross corner clotheslines connects, but another blind tag allows the heels to take control. Zip with a sitout powerbomb for two, as Austin ‘doesn’t see’ Vega make a tag attempt. The Bodydonnas with a rocket launcher, but Savio dodges, and runs wild. So wild that he punches Steve off the apron, but that earns him a shot back from Stone Cold, and Zip pins Vega off of it at 4:13. This was mostly storyline. ½*

Dok is back with another Slam Jam

The Karate Fighters Slam of the Week is Diesel laying Bret Hart, Undertaker, and Shawn Michaels out with a chair at a house show at MSG

Backstage, Vega is fuming at President Roddy Piper about what happened in the tournament match. He’s not wrong. He had zero notice as to who his partner was going to be, and then to add insult to injury, it’s a guy who hates him

Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin’ War Room is Ted being grilled by the FTC, and flipping out, A Few Good Men style. This was terrible 

BUExperience: This was pretty innocuous for the most part, but man, that last segment leaves a bad taste in your mouth.