NWA (ECW) The Night the Line Was Crossed (February 1994)

 

Original Airdate: February 5, 1994

From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Your Host is Joey Styles

Opening Match: Salvatore Bellomo v Mr. Hughes: The ring looks a lot more professional here than it has in the past (and would in the future). Styles gets a funny line here, noting that Bellomo is “coming off a successful tour of the pizza parlor down the street.” Hughes dominates a long slugfest early on, and he avalanches Bellomo in the corner. A second one misses, allowing Bellomo to make a comeback, and he uses a series of shoulderblocks, but Jason trips him up. That allows Hughes to attack, and the spinebuster finishes at 3:12. All punch/kick stuff here. DUD

Dog Collar Match: Sandman and Tommy Cairo v Rockin' Rebel and Pitbull: In a nice touch, Jason comes out in a new outfit for this one. I’m pretty sure someone didn’t get paid that week thanks to that. Sandman/Rebel and Cairo/Pitbull are the pairings. They all spill to the outside right away, and everyone swings chairs. Cairo and Rebel are quickly busted open, and they brawl into the crowd next. Rebel backdrops Sandman through a table in the crowd, and everyone goes back to the ring, where Tommy puts Pitbull down with a belly-to-belly suplex at 4:48. Just aimless brawling. DUD

Public Enemy v The Bruise Brothers: The Enemy attack before the bell, and they immediately spill out of the ring for a brawl through the crowd. Why book this right after the Dog Collar match if you’re going to do the exact same thing? And Joey ranting about how you ‘can’t find this kind of action in Atlanta or Stamford’ just makes me want to go watch some WCW or WWF. Both were pretty good during this period, certainly better than this. And, in WCW, they were doing crazy brawl tag matches around this period that were far, far better than this. But then Joey tells the truth, noting that “this is no wrestling match.” They fight over to the announce area to put each other through tables, and then back to the ring they go, where the Enemy double up to pin one of the Brothers at 8:00. See my thoughts for the Dog Collar match. I guess that’s why they call it ‘mindless violence,’ I don’t even have to think of anything clever to say. DUD

Jimmy Snuka v Tommy Dreamer: To put in perspective what neckbeards the ECW mainstays are, a sign in the crowd taunts Dreamer by noting that ‘no pretty boys’ are allowed. They stall for a good several minutes to start, and it’s not even high grade stalling like Lord Steven Regal, or something, it’s just wandering around the ring and jawing at fans. Tommy looks like he borrowed Sabu’s gear tonight, they should have formed a team. No one would be calling Sabu a ‘pretty boy,’ I can assure you that. They finally make contact some four minutes in, and Dreamer escapes a headlock, delivering a pair of bodyslams. That has Snuka bailing to regroup, and Tommy tries a bodypress when he comes back in, but Jimmy ducks, and Dreamer takes a bump to the outside. Jimmy follows to whack him with a chair out there, and Snuka puts the boots to him on the way back in. Snuka with a knife-edge chop, and a backbreaker sets up the flying splash for two. He took fucking forever to get up there, it’s almost comical that Dreamer wouldn’t have dodged it. Snuka responds by pounding on Dreamer, and he goes up for the splash again, but opts not to cover this time. Instead, he goes up a third time, and that wipes Dreamer out at 10:15. This was especially disappointing, because unlike some of the other guys, these two could have probably had a decent match if they wanted to, but this was literally half stalling. Afterwards, Snuka gives him another splash, so Commissioner Tod Gordon runs out, but Jimmy beats him up as well. ½*

Kevin Sullivan v Tazmaniac v Pat Tanaka and Sheik: The ECW Tag Team title is not on the line here. Just like the other tag matches, it’s immediate chaos, and they’re in the crowd within seconds. Brawl, punch, brawl, kick. Meanwhile, Tazmaniac just puts Tanaka in various holds for extended periods, while Sullivan and his father Sheik punch each other. Finally, Sheik throws a fireball in Tazmaniac’s face, and Tanaka hooks the leg at 3:11. DUD

JT Smith v Mike Awesome: Smith attacks before the bell, but Mike no-sells him, and sends him backflipping with a clothesline. Awesome with a frogsplash, and another clothesline again takes JT’s head off. Mike with an overhead suplex from there, and a clothesline sends Smith over the top - Awesome on him with a suicide dive. Inside to finish off with the powerbomb, but JT hooks a quick small package at 2:00. Mike was sloppy as hell, but full of piss and vinegar, and I’m honestly shocked he didn’t become a bigger star. He got over huge with the ECW crowd here. And then, in an unintentionally hilarious moment, Awesome beats up the referee after the match, only to have the top rope snap on him as he tries a dive, causing him to face plant. ½*

Main Event: ECW Title Three-Way Dance: Terry Funk v Sabu v Shane Douglas: Sabu’s ECW Television title is not on the line here. So the idea is that the match starts with just Sabu and Douglas, with Funk joining at the fifteen minute mark. Unless one of them beats the other before then, which earns them a one-on-one match with Funk right away. Paul E Dangerously takes Sherri out before the bell (and I mean creams her, wow), triggering a brawl between Sabu and Douglas. Shane manages a hanging vertical suplex for two, and he grounds Sabu in a chinlock. Shane with a few turnbuckle smashes around the horn, but Sabu starts no-selling, and hits Douglas with a spinkick to put Shane on the outside. Sabu capitalizes with a baseball slide, and he rolls Douglas back in for a bodyslam to set up a springboard somersault senton splash for two. Sloppy as hell, but points for effort. Sabu gets a nervehold on as we cross the (gimmicked) five minute mark, and man, pro-wrestling is literally the only thing on earth that somehow gets away with gimmicking time. Shane escapes and delivers a neckbreaker, but misses the follow up, and Sabu gets a cross-armbreaker on. Shane escapes, but misses a corner splash, and Sabu goes back to the arm. Shane manages to backdrop out of a hold, and he capitalizes with an inverted atomic drop this time. Sabu swipes at the arm as he we cross the gimmicked ten minute mark, but Shane reverses a cross corner whip, and dumps Sabu to the outside. Shane follows, so Sabu tries a springboard moonsault on the floor, but misses, wiping out in the crowd. “That man just defied gravity,” notes Joey. Uh, no, he didn’t. And then he takes a swipe at WCW, noting that they don’t have pads on the floor ‘like in Atlanta.’ So, he’s longing for the Bill Watts era? Back inside, as Funk hits the ring to join the match since no falls have occurred. And the match kind of grinds with his arrival, as they all just brawl on the floor, with the terrible hard camera not giving us the best views of it all. Inside, Funk drops Douglas with a few DDTs for two, but Shane takes control when they spill to the outside, whipping Terry into the guardrail. They brawl up the aisle, where Douglas bodyslams the champion on the floor, but Terry tries a spinning toehold on the way back in, thwarted by Douglas hooking a cradle for two. Shane adds a clothesline, but gets reversed into the corner, and is Sabu dead? He hasn’t been seen since Funk entered the match, and that was, like, fifteen minutes ago. Ungimmicked. Sabu finally returns after nearly twenty minutes of nap time, and he slugs it out with Douglas, so Funk retreats to the commentary area, and calls them both pieces of shit, challenging them to come to him. They pretty much ignore him, though, and Douglas gets Sabu in a half-crab in the ring. Funk goes to the ring after being soundly ignored, so Shane charges him, but misses. That allows Funk to put Sabu in the spinning toehold, but it goes nowhere. Douglas gets a sleeper on Sabu, but Funk puts Shane in one at the same time, and Styles thinks this is pretty much the wildest thing he’s ever seen. It also goes nowhere, and Shane ends up clotheslining Terry over the top. Sabu hits Shane with a slingshot moonsault, so Sherri distracts him, and the moron chases her around. That allows Douglas to grab a chair, and he goes to work on Funk, as Sabu’s bad leg gives out after chasing Sherri. Douglas hits Sabu with a bridging fisherman suplex for two, so Sabu tries a rana, but they just kind of flop to the mat. What a classic. Sabu with a slingshot legdrop, and he puts Shane in the camel clutch, but Axl Rotten and Ian Rotten run in to beat both guys up on Funk’s behalf. They decide to brawl out of the building next, but since there aren’t any handhelds, we don’t actually get to see any of that. No matter, it’s hardcore! Entertain yourself by starting a chant! Back to the ring, Funk hits Douglas with a low blow, and passes one to Sabu to keep it fair. Funk with a series of headbutts, but he gets loopy, and flops. That allows Sabu to clothesline the champion, and a bodyslam sets up a springboard moonsault, but he botches it twice. He finally manages a flying moonsault (with Funk having to hastily reposition himself to accommodate Sabu’s botches), and Sabu adds a flying moonsault on Douglas as well. Cover, but there’s no referee (he got bumped at some point). Douglas recovers with a piledriver on Funk, and he drops Sabu onto Funk with a gourdbuster. Shane covers Funk for a two count from the recovering official, and Sabu hits Terry with a few splashes for two. Shane uses a snapmare to set up a legdrop on Funk, and a vertical suplex follows, but Sabu runs over with a double splash for two (covering both men). Sabu puts Funk in a reverse chinlock, but Shane gets Sabu in the same hold, but it goes nowhere. Funk ends up putting Shane in a spinning toehold, but Sherri comes in to save. Funk responds by suplexing her, but wastes time putting her in the toehold, and Douglas recovers, saving her. Shane hits Sabu with a side suplex, and he tries for a piledriver, but Sabu counters with a backdrop. He doesn’t get a chance to follow up, however, as Funk comes over with a low blow. The sense of urgency here is pretty muted, considering the announcer keeps counting down time, and there’s only three minutes left. They spill to the outside, and again no urgency, as they waste time attacking managers instead of trying to win. Shane manages a flying bodypress on Sabu, but Funk prevents a cover. The referee is out again anyway, so it doesn’t really matter. They’re clearly going for the draw, and fuck you if you don’t like it, basically. And time does indeed expire at 57:31, with no real drama, just kind of cruising into port. This was just so unnecessarily long. And at the expense of the undercard, to boot. Plus, this is coming off of Funk and Douglas doing a forty something minute draw on TV a few weeks prior (which also sucked), as Shane tries harder than Triple H to out Flair Ric Flair. But, hey, at least I can finally say that I’ve seen it. On the positive side, they mostly kept it moving, and didn’t just spend extended periods sitting in holds. ¾*

BUExperience: This was a really bad show, with no good matches, and a masturbatory main event. Plus, everything was rushed to accommodate the needless long main, and came off as disappointing conclusions to stuff they spend weeks of build on. Bad, bad stuff. 

DUD