WWF at Madison Square Garden (March 19, 1990)

 

Original Airdate: March 19, 1990

From New York, New York; Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Hillbilly Jim

Opening Match: Jim Powers v Iron Mike Sharpe: This is one of the few times I can remember where they have the commentary position set up in one of the boxes, instead of down on the arena floor of MSG. The only other time I can recall is SummerSlam ‘88. Powers dominates early, sending Mike bailing out of the ring a bunch of times, as Gorilla reveals an interesting layer: if you walk out on a match, you get no money at all - not even the loser's end of the purse. Sharpe manages to throw a cheap shot during a test-of-strength to take control of it, as Gorilla hypes WrestleMania on pay per view, noting it’s best not to invite anyone over, so you can sit there in your underwear and pick your nose while you watch. Monsoon is having a lot of fun today, and I’m there for it. Powers escapes the hold and starts targeting Sharpe’s arm, but gets clobbered again, and Sharpe works him over. Jim tries a dropkick, but no one’s home, and Sharpe keeps going, until Jim finally makes a comeback. The dropkick finds the mark for two, but he telegraphs a backdrop, and gets nailed. Powers fights him off again, and a powerslam puts it away at 12:47. This was a five minute match stretched out to thirteen. ¾*

Hercules v Black Bart: Posturing to start, with Hercules overpowering him at every turn. Bart finally gets a shot in, and pounces, raking Hercules’ face, and ropechoking him down. Hercules ends up groggy on the outside, and Bart hits him with a clothesline for two on the way back in. A swinging neckbreaker gets him another two, and a legdrop is worth two. Bart goes to a chinlock next, but Hercules slugs free, so Bart throws a knee to put him back down. Bart delivers a clothesline out of a criss cross, and he adds a fistdrop for two. Bart looks like a shagg(ier) Stanley Kubrick. Another chinlock, until Hercules finally goes on the comeback trail, and gets him in a torture rack at 12:27. Another one that was stretched out way too long. ¼*

Demolition v The Orient Express: Smash and Tanaka start, and the Demos get him into their corner for a double team early on. Tags to Ax and Sato, and there's lots of posturing, until Tanaka takes a cheap shot from the apron, and Sato pounces. The Express double up, but Ax fights out of the corner, and tags to Smash to hit Tanaka with a backbreaker for two. The Express try doubling up again, but Smash fights them off anyway, so they dump him to the outside so Mr. Fuji can get a shot in to turn it into a triple team. That's finally enough to give them control, and they go to work on Smash. "Look at these Japanese men go to work," declares Lord Alfred. He's so fucking excitable! Ax gets the hot tag and runs wild, but Fuji distracts him ahead of the Decapitation, and Ax gets counted out while dealing with him at 10:51. Really boring. DUD

Koko B Ware v Frenchy Martin: Koko dominates early, as Gorilla moves on to pushing the pay per view by noting how easy it is to order. Well, that might be more useful than the underwear/booger angle. Luckily, Hillbilly barely chimes in most of the time, I’m not even sure why they booked him. Martin gets control and works a nervehold, but Koko escapes, and manages a flying bodypress for two, before Frenchy cuts him off. More nervehold fun, until Koko escapes again, and makes a proper comeback. A clothesline gets him two, and a standing dropkick connects, so Martin begs off. Ware shows no mercy, however, and the brainbuster finishes at 12:34. What is with everyone getting so much damn time tonight? Does Koko B Ware versus Dino Bravo’s manager really need thirteen minutes?! DUD

Jim Duggan v Earthquake: The star power is climbing, so this probably gets twenty five minutes. Jim sticks and moves early on, so Jimmy Hart distracts him, and Earthquake clobbers the man. Earthquake tries a suplex from the apron, but gets dumped over the top, and Duggan follows to unload, but gets sent into the post. Earthquake with a ropechoke on the way back inside, as Hayes declares Earthquake a “great, big, colossal, great, big man.” Almost poetic. Earthquake gets a bearhug on, but Hacksaw escapes, and makes a comeback. Cue interference from Hart, and Earthquake squashes him with an avalanche, before adding an elbowdrop at 6:33. Not great, but at least it was not great in under seven minutes. DUD

Bret Hart v Rick Martel: Hart is subbing for Roddy Piper here, and Hayes is talking about the time limit before they even tie up, so you can guess where this one is going. Bret gets a great reaction here, and it’s weird to hear them discuss them as if they’re on the same level, mentioning how both are former co-holders of the tag title. I guess at this point they were on the same level, but man, even a few years later that wouldn’t hold true any longer. Feeling out process to start, with Martel frustrating him with smooth blocks and dodges. That goes on until Bret nails him with a clothesline as he gloats, and the Hitman hooks a small package for two, so Martel bails. Inside, Hart gets an armbar on, so Martel tries a criss cross, but Bret uses a backslide for two. Bret with an armdrag back into the armbar, and he hangs on to that for a while, but a criss cross ends in the Hitman taking a bump to the outside. That’s enough to turn the tide, and Martel sends him into the post, then vertical suplexes him back into the ring for two. Rick with a corner whip ahead of an abdominal stretch, but a corner charge misses, and Bret schoolboys for two. Martel clobbers him to cut off the potential comeback, but Bret blocks the Boston crab, so Rick uses a backbreaker on him. He tries a slingshot splash, but Bret gets his knees up to block, and a criss cross ends in both men looking up at the lights. Both stagger up for a slugfest, and Bret wins it with an inverted atomic drop. A snap suplex sets up a pointed elbowdrop for two, and a bodyslam sets up a 2nd rope pointed elbowdrop for two. Hart with a Russian legsweep for two, so Martel bails to avoid this barrage. Hart drags him back in, so Rick tries begging off, but the Hitman continues to unload. A backbreaker gets him two, so Martel bails again, but Bret gets him inside once more. Hart with a standing dropkick to set up a stomp to the groin for two, and Rick gets out of dodge. Bret chases, so Martel rakes the eyes, but Bret reverses a smash into the apron on him. Hart with an atomic drop on the floor, but time expires at 21:05 before he can get him back into the ring again. I’ve covered this before on SuperTape II, but that version was clipped. The full version was pretty slow, but the last leg was great. **

Brutus Beefcake v Dino Bravo: Beefcake’s gear here makes him look like he’s angling for a tag team with Jake Roberts. One thing I really like about Monsoon… I’ve been listening to Michael Cole talk for twenty five years, and I still feel like I know him less than I do after listening to Gorilla call a single show. He got to your heart easily. Posturing to start, and Beefcake takes control, dumping him over the top. Dino comes in calling for a test-of-strength, which Beefcake accepts, but loses. Beefcake fights him off and tries a ten-punch, but Dino uses an inverted atomic drop for two, and goes to a bearhug. Beefcake quickly escapes, so Dino tries a turnbuckle smash, but Beefcake reverses. Beefcake tries a bodyslam, but Bravo topples him for two, and gets a bearhug on - properly this time. Brutus fights free, and he goes on the comeback trail. He gets the sleeper on, but Earthquake shows up, and pulls Beefcake out of the ring while Jimmy Hart distracts the official. That allows Earthquake to send Brutus into the post, and Beefcake is counted out at 11:14 - despite the fact that Bravo is still unconscious from the sleeper. That really should have been a double countout, no? DUD

Tugboat v Pez Whatley: You just knew it was only a matter of time before Tugboat and Earthquake would eventually feud and/or be a team. Whatley’s one of those guys I forgot was ever in the WWF. Not that his run was particularly memorable. Tugboat with a bodyslam after Pez gets in his face, as Gorilla starts fantasy booking Tugboat/Earthquake already. Like I said, matter of time. In this case, very little time. Pez tries a bodypress, but gets caught in a backbreaker, and Tugboat gets a bearhug on. Pez escapes, and catches him with a pair of 2nd rope headbutts for two - Whatley bumping into the middle turnbuckle on the kickout. Nicely done. Pez goes upstairs, but gets slammed off, and Tugboat adds a bodyslam ahead of a splash at 5:50. I really dislike this referee, his slow counting has been driving me nuts all night. ¼*

Main Event: Ultimate Warrior v Mr. Perfect: The WWF Intercontinental title is not on the line here. Warrior blitzes him, of course, and Perfect takes a bump over the top off of a chop before the music even stops playing. Perfect wisely stalls, but gets nailed with a facebuster when he gets in, and ends up crotched on the post. Warrior with a clothesline to send him over the top again, but Warrior misses his next trick, and Perfect takes control. He knocks Warrior out of the ring with a kick, but Warrior beats the count, so Perfect continues putting the boots to him. Warrior tries a slingshot sunset flip, but only gets two, and Perfect goes to work on the lower back. Perfect with a standing dropkick for two, and he works a reverse chinlock, but Warrior escapes, and makes a comeback. Warrior with a press-drop to set up a splash at 10:05. This was surprisingly dull. DUD

BUExperience: This was really terrible stuff almost across the board, but I enjoyed the commentary enough that it wasn’t punishing. Monsoon and Hayes had a great natural rapport, and Hillbilly Jim was smart enough to stay quiet.

DUD