WWE Extreme Rules (April 2012)

 

Original Airdate: April 29, 2012

From Chicago, Illinois; Your Hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T

Opening Falls Count Anywhere Match: Kane v Randy Orton: Kane hustles him into the corner right away, but Orton fights him off, so Kane dumps him over the top. Kane follows to hook the leg on the floor for two, so Kane grabs a pipe, but Randy knocks it out of his hand on the way in. Orton unloads with the weapon and clotheslines Kane over the top, but gets decked as he follows, and they spill into the crowd. Randy gets control out there and covers for two, but Kane manages a slam on the concrete for two. Kane with a seated dropkick for two, and they brawl over to the entrance area, where Orton manages a dropkick for two. He tries an RKO on the floor, but Kane blocks for two, and they brawl backstage. It’s always funny to see all the random crew guys just casually standing around while two guys beat the hell out of each other with weapons. Zack Ryder pops out to attack Kane, allowing Orton an inverted headlock backbreaker (a staple in any street fight) for two, but Kane throws him into some equipment, and they keep aimlessly brawling around hallways. Back out to the arena, and Randy gets control as they head into the ring. He throws a series of rights, and a snap powerslam allows him to grab hold of a chair. Orton unloads, and a DDT on the floor gets him two, so Kane sends him into the post for two. Kane goes upstairs on the way back in, but Orton crotches him, and brings him down with a vertical superplex for two. RKO, but Kane counters with a chokeslam for two. Tombstone, but Orton counters to the RKO on a chair at 16:44. What dreck. ¼*

Dolph Ziggler v Brodus Clay: Clay bounces him around early on, so Jack Swagger distracts him, and Ziggler knocks Brodus to the outside. Inside, Ziggler uses a dropkick to the knee ahead of a rocker dropper for two, and a standing dropkick gets him two. Dolph goes to a sleeper, but Clay escapes, so Ziggler starts throwing fists. He tries a suplex, but Clay counters with a release gourdbuster, and Clay makes a comeback. Another distraction from Swagger allows Ziggler to try for the Zig Zag, but Brodus blocks, and splashes him at 4:16. This would have been at home as a feature match on Wrestling Challenge. ¼*

WWE Intercontinental Title Tables Match: Big Show v Cody Rhodes: Cody charges, but gets clobbered, and Show goes to work. Show sends him to the heavens with a backdrop, so Rhodes bails, but Show is on him with a big chop. Show sets up a table on the floor, but Cody blocks the attempt, and clips the leg. Show responds by shoving him into the barricade, and he brings a table into the ring, propping it up in the corner. He tries whipping Cody into it, but Rhodes blocks, and hits Show with a roundhouse kick. Rhodes tries a charge, but runs into a shoulderblock, and ends up on the outside again. Show drags him in, but Cody throws a dropkick while Show in on the apron, and Show’s foot crashes through the table he set up on the floor at 4:35. Seeing the once coveted Intercontinental title reduced to fluke comedy switches in four minutes depresses me. DUD

World Heavyweight Title Two-out-of-Three Falls Match: Sheamus v Daniel Bryan: They feel each other out to start, with Sheamus generally controlling, targeting the arm of his challenger. Sheamus with a rolling fireman’s carry slam for two, so Bryan tries a slingshot sunset flip, but Sheamus rolls through into a Texas cloverleaf. Nicely done, too. Bryan makes the ropes, so Sheamus drags him off, but Daniel hooks a cradle for two. Sheamus responds with a clothesline, and he dumps Bryan into the corner to unload on. Sheamus tries a cross corner whip, but Bryan blocks, and wins a criss cross with a hangman clothesline. Sheamus tries bailing, but Daniel is on him with a baseball slide, and he dives from the apron - only to get caught with a spinebuster into the rail! Sheamus goes upstairs on the way back in, but Bryan knocks him off the top before he can dive, and the challenger puts the boots to the champion. Daniel with a series of kneedrops for one, and he grounds Sheamus, cranking on the arm in vicious fashion. Bryan gets a hammerlock on, but Sheamus slugs free, so Bryan tags him with a knee, and a running dropkick for one. Daniel with a rollup for two, and he ropechokes the champion some. Daniel goes back to the hammerlock, but Sheamus escapes, and goes on the comeback trail. Bryan bails to the apron, but Sheamus is on him with forearm blows to the chest, and he uses a fallaway slam for two. Bodyslam, but Bryan escapes, and uses a schoolboy for two. Bryan puts the boots to him in the corner, and he takes Sheamus upstairs for a rana off the top, but Sheamus blocks. That allows the champion to dive with a flying shoulderblock for two, but Daniel ducks down to avoid a charge, and Sheamus takes a spill to the outside. Bryan tries a tope, but Sheamus punches him in the head to block, and comes back in for a crucifix powerbomb - only for Bryan to counter to a cradle for two. Bryan goes for the arm, but Sheamus keeps blocking the LeBell lock. Sheamus tries another charge, but Daniel dodges again, and Sheamus busts his shoulder into the post on the miss. Bryan is on him, sending the shoulder into the post a couple more times, and then starts relentlessly kicking at the arm until the referee calls for a lame DQ at 14:33. Bryan stays on him with a running dropkick to the shoulder, and the LeBell lock leaves Sheamus unresponsive at 16:38 to tie the score. Well, at least that negated the lameness of the first fall. Daniel leads a ‘YES’ chant in response, but Sheamus recovers, and blasts him with the Brogue kick for a dramatic two. Sheamus is still groggy, and throws rights, but Daniel responds with a series of kicks for two. Daniel goes upstairs, but Sheamus pounds him before he can dive, and he follows for a superplex - only for Bryan to block. That allows the challenger to leap with a flying headbutt drop, but Sheamus rolls out of the way. Daniel tries a running corner dropkick, but Sheamus dodges that as well, and throws a few clotheslines. Uranage backbreaker finds the mark, and the Brogue kick puts it away at 22:53. A very good match, with lots of excitement and drama, but without any bullshit. *** ¾ 

Handicap Match: Ryback v Aaron Relic and Jay Hatton: Relic and Hatton are two local workers who never did anything on the national stage (before or after). Not that it matters anyway, as Ryback just squashes the shit out of them, stacking them up for a double pin at 1:50. Not sure why this needed to be on pay per view. DUD

WWE Title Chicago Street Fight: CM Punk v Chris Jericho: Punk pounds Jericho down right away, and stomps a mud hole until Chris bails. Punk drags him right back in and goes to town with a kendo stick, so Chris runs away, but Punk wins a foot race, and clotheslines him. More abuse with the kendo, so Jericho hides behind the referee, and pokes Punk in the eye. That allows Chris a dropkick, and he gets some revenge with the kendo. To the outside, where Punk gets whipped into the rail, but manages chops on the way back in. A corner kneesmash misses, however, and Punk takes a bump over the top. Jericho follows, and exposes the steel underneath the barricade right where Punk’s family is sitting, and then bashes him into it. Punk’s sister is either a really bad actress, or in love with Jericho. Or both. She ends up slapping Chris, which allows Punk to recover, and go nuts on the challenger. Punk with a bodyslam on the floor, but an attempt at a piledriver ends in Jericho backdropping him. Chris nails him with a CRT monitor he borrows from an announce table, and then grabs the lid of the table to break over Punk’s back. Inside, that gets Chris two, so he puts Punk in a chinlock. Punk escapes, so Jericho goes to town with a kendo, but talks too much trash, and Punk cradles for two. Jericho quickly cuts him off with a dropkick for two, and he pours a can of beer over his head to play mind games. Unfortunately for him, Punk is playing violent games, and uses the kendo. Punk with a swinging neckbreaker, and a kneesmash in the corner sets up a bulldog. GTS, but Jericho blocks. Chris tries the Walls, but Punk blocks, and delivers a powerslam for two. Punk goes upstairs, but gets crotched, allowing Jericho to try for a superplex, but Punk blocks. CM dives with a flying elbowdrop for two, but Jericho counters the GTS with a bulldog of his own. Chris looks for a follow up, but Punk is ready with another GTS, only for Chris to shove him into a corner mounted chair to block, then schoolboy for two. Jericho lands a codebreaker to allow him the Walls, but Punk makes the ropes. That means shit in a street fight, however, so Punk reaches underneath the ring while in the hold, pulling out a fire extinguisher, and blasting Jericho in the face to force a break. I like it! Punk pops him in the stomach with the thing to knock Chris out of the ring, and the champion follows with a roundhouse kick to lay him out on an announce table. That allows Punk to dive with a flying elbowdrop to drive Jericho through the table, and Punk rolls him in to cover for two. Punk gets the anaconda vice on from there, but Chris gets holds of the kendo, and starts swinging to force a break. Punk grabs a chair, but Jericho uses a codebreaker on the chair to block him, though it only gets two. Chris is frustrated, and decides to use Punk’s own GTS against him to put this thing away, but Punk counters with a catapult into an exposed turnbuckle! That finally rattles Jericho enough for Punk to land the GTS, and it’s enough at 25:02. I had my doubts in the early going when they were doing all the cliche street fight stuff, but it got really good once they let the intensity take over. Like their WrestleMania match before it, these two take some time to find the right gear together. ***

WWE Divas Title Match: Nikki Bella v Layla: This is Layla’s surprise return from injury, back for her first WWE match since May 2011 (she did one FCW match the month prior, probably to shake off the ring rust), replacing original challenger Beth Phoenix. Layla schools her early, and uses a schoolboy for two. Nikki tries dumping her into the corner, but Layla shakes her off, so Brie Bella attacks. That allows Nikki to take control, targeting the challenger’s bad leg. Nikki tries a figure four, but Layla cradles for two, so Bella kicks at the leg again. Layla manages a springboard dropkick for two, so Brie tries a distraction, but gets nailed. It allows Nikki to recover, and they do an embarrassing pinfall reversal sequence. Brie switches in, but Layla blocks a facebuster from the fresh Bella, and nearly cripples Brie with a neckbreaker at 2:27. This was not good, but thankfully not long, either. DUD

Main Event: Extreme Rules Match: John Cena v Brock Lesnar: This is Lesnar’s first WWE match since WrestleMania XX in March 2004, and his first match anywhere since June 2007. Cena tries a charge at the bell, but Lesnar spears him down, and starts going to town with mounted punches. Lesnar with a clothesline that somehow draws blood from the top of Cena’s head, so John tries grabbing a waistlock to slow him down, but Brock shrugs him off. The referee separates them so the medical team can get a look at the cut, as Lesnar is looking at him like he’s made of glass, or something. ‘This is your big hero?’ kind of look. Cena tries charging again, but gets dropped, and Lesnar brutalizes him with mounted shots again. Cena ends up on the outside, where the doctor checks him out again, and John is a bloody mess. He tries an Attitude Adjustment on the way back in, but Brock shrugs him off, and delivers a pair of German suplexes. Another one, but Cena throws elbows to block, and a jumping shoulderblock puts Brock (and the official) down. Cena tries a second one, but Brock blocks, and keeps wrecking him with ease. John ends up on the outside, so Lesnar follows to chuck him into the rail, and Brock is basically wearing a mohawk of Cena’s blood now. Gnarly. With the referee still out, Lesnar grabs a chain (it’s Extreme Rules, you could have done that at the bell), and uses it to tie John’s ankles together. Brock dares him to get up, then steamrolls him with a clothesline when he does. Lesnar hangs him in a tree of woe on the apron for some abuse, and this referee is still down. He’s nearing Davey Boy Smith at Survivor Series ‘94 levels of brain damage here. Brock kicks the referee’s ass as a method of reviving him, and Cena is literally crawling around the ring now. He desperately tries an AA, but Lesnar easily counters to an F5 - bumping the barely recovered referee in the process! Cover, and another official runs in to count two. Brock responds by beating the second referee up, or maybe he’s just trying to invigorate him, I’m not sure. Lesnar brings the steps into the ring and puts Cena in the kimura lock while on them, which… makes it more painful…? Cena powers to a vertical base in the hold and drops Lesnar on the steps to break, and John goes upstairs for a flying rocker dropper, but he misses. Man, he came within inches of shish-kabobing his calf on the edge of the steps there. Brock with a big charge, but Cena dodges, and Lesnar goes flying over the top. Quite the bump there. Lesnar still recovers first, and tries another charge, but this time Cena bashes him with the chain to knock him silly. Makes me think the first miss was a botch, because the bump Brock took over the top was pretty out of character for him. Brock is busted open now, and Cena has caught a second wind. That allows him an AA on the steps, and Lesnar is pinned at 17:41. I enjoyed aspects of this. It told a good story, and you can’t knock the effort and willingness to go all in with the brutality, but it was a really plodding effort overall, and all the stopping for medical attention in the first leg didn’t help. ** ½ 

BUExperience: Like the main event, I enjoyed aspects of this. The two world title matches are both worth seeing, and the main event - even if flawed - is unique (especially for the time). The rest is… pretty bad. But the biggest and longest matches all delivered, so it’s still a passable effort, and their best overall show since WrestleMania XXVI in 2010.

**