WWF Coliseum Video Collection: Bloopers, Bleeps, & Bodyslams (1994)

 

WWF Coliseum Video Collection: Bloopers, Bleeps, & Bodyslams (1994)

Coliseum Video compilation. The front cover features Doink holding Bam Bam Bigelow in an STF, and promised unedited ‘mayhem’

Hillbilly Jim hosts from a gym, which feels like a deeply random choice given he’d barely been on TV for years and wouldn’t resurface as a manager until 1996. To his credit, Jim openly acknowledges that he’s an odd pick for the job. Self-awareness counts for something

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Razor Ramon v Crush: From Augusta Maine on December 15 1993. Sign in the crowd notes that Razor has 'MaCheesmo,' which feels like a missed sponsorship and marketing opportunity for the folks at Kraft. And speaking of missed opportunities, Fuji should have left the wrestling business and opened a karate dojo around this time. I mean, Crush went from novice to karate master over the course of just a few months under his guidance, right? Clearly Fuji missed his calling. Crush uses those newfound skills to dominate Ramon early on, and he works a bodyscissors until the Bad Guy manages the ropes. Crush responds by putting the boots to him until Razor falls out of the ring, and Crush dives off the apron with a flying punch after him. Crush with a backbreaker into a backbreaker submission as they head back in, but Razor throws a knee to the noggin to escape. Criss cross sees Ramon fight back with a kneelift and a facebuster, but Crush strikes him in the gut to avoid the Edge. Crush uses another backbreaker to set up a flying kneedrop, but Razor is in the ropes at two. Crush thinks he won it (despite absolutely no indication that he has), and Ramon capitalizes with a schoolboy at 7:06. Bad finish, bad match. ½*

We get a montage of Gorilla Monsoon bloopers as he tries to hype SummerSlam ‘93. And they’re very endearing 

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Steiner Brothers v The Headshrinkers: From Grand Rapids Michigan on August 31 1993. Gorilla notes that they’re in ‘Lowell Massachusetts,’ so I guess he’s getting a head start on the next montage. Scott Steiner starts with Samu, and Scott dominates some posturing exchanges. He hits a butterfly powerbomb for two, so Samu tags out. Scott postures with Fatu, but Rick Steiner wants in, so Scott obliges. Fatu manages to pound him down, but gets caught in a powerslam for two, and Rick adds a clothesline for two, so Fatu bails to break the momentum. Back in for a slugfest, won by Fatu throwing a superkick. That allows him a backbreaker to set up a 2nd rope dive, but he takes too long getting there, and Rick belly-to-belly suplexes him off for two. Tag to Scott, and a criss cross results in Samu throwing a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Fatu a superkick. That’s enough to allow the challengers to take control, and they work Scott over. Scott manages to catch Fatu with an overhead suplex, but Samu cuts him off before he can tag. Samu with a cross corner whip, but the charge in misses, and Rick gets the hot tag - Roseanne Barr the door! The Headshrinkers manage to isolate Rick, but Scott saves his brother from their finisher, and Rick manages a schoolboy at 12:03. These two teams know each other very well, and it shows. Not a barnburner, but solid. * ¼ 

Rick Martel v Owen Hart: From Worcester Massachusetts on September 28 1993, and aired on the October 24 1993 episode of All American Wrestling. Gorilla and Johnny Polo record new commentary for this, though. They feel each other out to start, as Polo runs through all of Jerry Lawler’s Stu Hart jokes. Owen catches him with a pair of dropkicks to get control, so Martel quickly bails to break the momentum. Inside, Owen gets an armbar, but Rick manages to drop him into the corner to escape. He tries to follow up, but Owen dodges him, and uses an armdrag into another armbar. The crowd is dead here. Owen with a cross corner whip, but Martel reverses, and side suplexes him on the rebound. Martel adds an elbowdrop, and a gutwrench suplex gets him two. Rick works a reverse chinlock, as Polo mocks the Dungeon, noting that Bret is the only successful brother, so how good of a trainer could Stu be. This is weird, because they’re referencing the Quebecers as former tag champions in their banter, so this would have been taped after WrestleMania X, but they’re still acting like Owen is a JTTS guy. Unless they taped it during that week when they dropped the belts to Marty Jannetty and 1-2-3 Kid in January, I guess. I get that none of this matters, but that kind of timeline stuff is my bag. Martel unloads in the corner before slapping on an abdominal stretch, as Polo moves on to mocking all of Martel’s former tag partners. Rick with a backbreaker, but Owen escapes, and makes a comeback. Hart with a spinheel kick, and he goes up with a flying bodypress for two. Charge, but Martel sidesteps, and Hart goes flying out of the ring. Owen looks to beat the count, but Lawler pops out to post him, and Hart is counted out at 8:21. Solid, but nothing special. *

Vince McMahon bloopers from the set of All American Wrestling 

Todd Pettengill bloopers from Mania, though these are clearly scripted. He wrecks some tape at one point, which was probably the one with the Bret Hart/Tom Magee match on it

WWF Title Match: Yokozuna v Tatanka: From Fayetteville North Carolina on January 11 1994. Tatanka charges in, but gets clobbered, as Yokozuna has the high ground. Well, that was his own fault there. Yokozuna goes to work, as even Gorilla is mocking Tatanka’s showing thus far. Yokozuna tries an avalanche, but Tatanka dodges, and throws tomahawk chops. Dropkick, but Yokozuna dodges. Legdrop, but Tatanka dodges, and grabs a standing side-headlock. Yokozuna escapes, and grabs a nervehold. For a long time. Tatanka finally escapes, and makes a comeback, so Yokozuna blasts him with the salt bucket for the DQ at 7:23. DUD

Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty v Irwin R. Schyster and Diesel: From Burlington Vermont on October 20 1993. Marty was never the same after he added the top. He starts with IRS, and they posture, as Gorilla makes the bold claim that Jannetty carried the Rockers. Marty with a bodyslam and a hiptoss, then a dropkick to leave Irwin begging off. Tags all around, and the crowd is very excited to see Razor face Diesel. Good thing, because they’re gonna get a lot of it. Diesel shoves him around, so Razor asks for a test-of-strength, but that proves to be a bad idea. Tag back to Marty, and he manages to stick and move a bit, but walks into a cheap shot, and the heels take control. They work Jannetty over, until he slips away from IRS for long enough to tag Razor. Ramon runs wild on Irwin, and he stops to deck Diesel for good measure. That draws the big man in, but Razor tunes them both up, so IRS grabs the briefcase to hit him with, drawing the DQ at 10:26. Good workers, but a lazy match. ¼*

Monsoon and Polo bloopers from All American. These are getting weaker by the minute 

Bam Bam Bigelow v Doink the Clown: From the February 6 1994 episode of Wrestling Challenge in Florence South Carolina (taped January 12 1994). Bigelow goes after Dink before the bell, and that distraction allows Bam Bam to get control. He delivers a shoulderblock, but a second one gets countered with a belly-to-belly suplex. Doink clotheslines him over the top, Luna Vachon tries a distraction, but Doink counters Bam Bam’s sneak attack with a drop-toehold. I got really excited that they were going to the STF from the cover art, but no such luck, sadly. Doink with another takedown, and there’s the STF. Unfortunately, Luna rakes his eyes to break it up. Bam Bam with a front-facelock, but Dink saves, and Doink grabs an armbar. Bam Bam escapes, and goes to work, in dull fashion. Doink manages a bodyslam and a kneedrop for two, and a Satio suplex is worth two. Doink with a pair of jumping clotheslines, but Luna trips him up on a third go, and Bam Bam drops an elbow. A bodyslam sets up a flying headbutt drop, so Dink comes in to prevent the pin. That draws Luna in to deal with Dink, but Bam Bam takes a headbutt to the groin, and falls out of the ring. That’s twice in a row that Dink put his hands on Bigelow, but no DQ is called. Instead, the idiot referee counts Bigelow out at 9:58! And Gorilla Monsoon, bastion of referee critiquing, thinks it’s great! These two usually have some pretty surprising chemistry, but this was boring as hell. And I’m a little stunned, since this was taped for TV, so it’s not like they were dogging it for a dark match. I’ve seen them have more lively house show matches than what they were doing here. ½*

Bret Hart v Crush: From March to WrestleMania X on March 13 1994 in Liberty New York (taped February 23 1994). They size each other up in the early going, with Bret doing his usual brilliant job of getting the little nuances of everything over. The more I watch of his work from this period, the more I really appreciate what an absolute genius he was in the ring. Crush goads him into a test-of-strength, but Bret wrestles to an advantage in the knucklelock, and Crush is forced to use the ropes to escape. He bails to the outside, and both of these guys are selling the absolute hell out of that test-of-strength spot, even a minute after it's over. Crush charges back in, but Bret dodges him, and uses a hangman's clothesline to take him down for one. Hart dives onto his back with a sleeper, so Crush snapmares him off, only to miss a fistdrop. That allows Bret to knock him to the outside with a running backelbow, but Crush blocks a rollup on the way back in, and blasts the Hitman with a superkick. Now firmly in control, Crush works the back, and uses a backbreaker for two. Cross-armbreaker grounds the Hitman, but Bret wrestles it into a cradle for two, so Crush corner whips him, and works a bearhug. He dumps him to the outside for Mr. Fuji to abuse, but the referee intervenes before the manager can, so Crush whips Bret into the steps instead for two. Backbreaker gets two, and a tilt-a-whirl version is worth two. Crush argues the count, allowing Bret to sneak up with a schoolboy for two, but Crush cuts off the comeback with a headbutt. Corner whip follows, but a charge hits boot, and Hart dives off the middle rope with a bulldog for two. Rollup gets two, and a Russian legsweep follows, but Bret takes a bad landing, and the cover is delayed. Hart guts out a 2nd rope pointed elbowdrop, but again bumps his head on the landing, and is slow to recover. Both guys stagger up, and Hart manages to corner him for a ten-punch, but Crush fights him off with an inverted atomic drop. Crush adds another backbreaker (that, like, four of those fuckers now) to set up a dive off the top, but Bret moves, and it's Sharpshooter time! He goes for the hold, so Fuji hops up onto the apron to distract him, and Bret takes the bait. That allows Crush to sneak up, but he accidentally nails Fuji, and Hart hooks a small package - only for Owen Hart to slide in and roll it over, giving Crush the pin at 14:37. Very effective match, as Bret made Crush look dangerous ahead of his match with Randy Savage for the big show, and it added more heat to the Hart brothers' match as well. I'm surprised we didn't get Bret/Crush for the title on TV after WrestleMania, honestly, as this set them up for it perfectly. **

Another variety of bloopers. Todd nearly getting killed by a falling sandbag while doing a King of the Ring Report was pretty terrifying 

WWF Intercontinental Title Cage Match: Shawn Michaels v Marty Jannetty: From White Plains New York on August 17 1993. Marty slugs away at the bell, and pinballs the champion around a bit, as Polo notes that Shawn looks a little ‘pudgy’ here. “He’s almost as big as the cage,” exclaims Monsoon. Jannetty with a standing dropkick, and a clothesline follows. Shawn is hitting the ropes so hard on the criss cross here that he’s hitting the cage on them. Jannetty tries sending him into the steel, but Shawn blocks, and hammers with punches. Shawn with a dropkick, and a backbreaker follows, but Jannetty blocks a second dropkick, and uses a catapult into the cage. Cover, and suddenly the referee decides that pinfalls count, and comes in to count two. Despite an earlier cover getting ignored. Jannetty tosses him into the steel and goes for the door, but Shawn stops him, and rakes the eyes. Shawn with a corner whip, but a charge in misses, so Marty goes for the door, but Diesel blocks his path. Jannetty dropkicks the door to knock Diesel back, but Shawn has used the time to recover, and grabs him. Shawn throws him into the cage, and they slug it out, as the announcers call out ‘Kerwin’ for not getting a wide enough angle. Man, they were just doing whatever the fuck they wanted with the commentary for these tapes, and I love it. Shawn tries to climb, but Marty gets him down, so Shawn goes to a sleeper, and here’s the idiot referee again to check for a submission. Marty sends him into the cage to escape the hold, and an atomic drop gives Shawn another helping of steel. Marty climbs, but he’s battered, and moving very slowly. That buys Shawn time to catch up, and Marty takes a bump down. That allows Michaels to go over the top, but Marty is after him. He manages to pull the champion back in, and they slug it out at the top. Shawn ends up getting slammed off, and Marty is heading out, but Diesel climbs up to block him. That allows Michaels to crawl for the door, and he makes it out at 13:11. These two had some amazing matches in 1993, but this was not one of them. It was a disappointing month for Michaels matches in general. Come to think of it, Shawn never really had any good traditional cage matches, even against top tier opponents like Marty or Bret. Maybe the psychology of them just wasn’t his thing. *

Randy Savage v Jerry Lawler: From Worcester on September 28 1993. Lawler offers Savage the chance to forfeit if he just kisses his feet, which Randy responds to in a calm and friendly manner. The King fights him off, and goes to work, hammering on Macho. Jerry with a 2nd rope fistdrop, and he feeds Macho the steps after they spill to the outside. Polo has been doing impressions of various classic wrestling commentators throughout the tape, and it’s been both great and hilarious. I’m honestly shocked at the things they were getting away with for this tape, clearly Vince wasn’t involved in the production at all. Lawler tries crotching him on the post, but Savage feeds it to him to block, and then adds a shot into the steps for good measure. Macho makes a comeback, but a flying axehandle gets blocked. That leads to the piledriver, but Savage backdrops him to block. Back up for the big elbow, but Jerry bails before he can dive. He decides to walk, but here’s Bret Hart to cut him off, and force him back in - Macho waiting with a schoolboy at 6:01. ¼*

BUExperience: There were a couple of matches that seemed like they’d be classics on paper, but unfortunately no hidden gems this time around. Still, it’s an easy watch. The real MVP is the Monsoon/Polo commentary team, completely unfiltered and clearly having the time of their lives. Sometimes that’s more entertaining than the wrestling itself.

A solid addition to your Coliseum Collection.