ECW Barely Legal (April 1997)

Living in Upstate New York, I first came upon ECW while channel surfing one Saturday morning in 1997. Having only been exposed to the WWF and WCW at that point, ECW really caught my attention. It was billed as being ‘extreme’ and ‘hardcore,’ and while I was never a fan of gory matches, there was something about the slapped-together-looking production, and impromptu atmosphere that hooked me right away. While I never became true fan of ECW (my burgeoning fandom probably not done any favors by the fact that their programming seemed to change airtime from week to week), I still always casually followed the promotion – though never having the guts to attend any of their live events that came through my area (interestingly, in the same ‘arena’ my high school graduation would take place in) fairly regularly.

For 1997, ECW – which had been building a reputation as an ‘Extreme!!!’ alternative to mainstream wrestling since the day mainstay Shane Douglas threw down the NWA Title in 1994 – wanted to bring their brand of wrestling to pay per view. They had tried before, in late 1996, but concerns over the graphic nature of the product (not helped by wrestler New Jack nearly stabbing a guy to death while trying to blade him, and a controversial angle involving mock-crucifixion) had cable companies keeping their distance. It took a serious fan-campaign, promises to tone down the product, and literal begging from promoter Paul Heyman, finally attained ECW a limited pay per view spot for the Spring of 1997.

From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Your Host is Joey Styles.


Opening ECW World Tag Team Title Match: The Dudley Boyz v The Eliminators: I always loved the 'classic' ECW Tag and Television Titles, since they used the same design as the classic WWF Intercontinental and World titles. That was actually one of the big reasons the WWF changed all their title belts after WrestleMania XIV in 1998, as 'king of belts' Reggie Parks refused to agree only to make those designs for the WWF, so they had to find someone else (Joe 'J-Mar' Marshall - perhaps the biggest sleaze in all of wrestling) to produce their own, copyrighted designs. The Eliminators clear the ring, but get caught up with Sign Guy Dudley, and powerbombed. The Dudley's dominate with a suplex/bodypress combo, but get nailed with spinkicks. The Eliminators with stereo flying corkscrew moonsaults to clear the house, and set off an ECW chant. Saturn moonsaults out after the Dudley's, and then holds them in place for Kronus to follow with his own. Saturn with a well executed springboard spinkick on D-Von, as Kronus nails Buh Buh with a handspring moonsault. Saturn follows with a double springboard moonsault to take out Buh Buh and Kronus with a gorgeous 450 splash. Total Elimination (a visually impressive spinkick/legsweep combo) finishes at 6:11. Pretty much a total spotfest squash. Movie was like a summer action flick: lots of cool looking stuff, exciting, relatively short - but not too much thinking. * ¾

Lance Storm v Rob Van Dam: Van Dam is a sub for the injured Chris Candido - but that doesn't stop Chris from coming out to give the 'I'm the most loyal man in the company' speech. Guess he's hoping everyone forgot about that whole Bodydonnas thing. Actually, that would be nice. Candido looks, sounds, and acts like Charlie from It's Always Sunny, and if he were still alive, I could totally see him playing his father on the show today. With Tammy as Mrs. Kelly. Van Dam gets him in the corner early, but eats clothesline off of a monkey flip effort. Bodypress knocks Storm to the floor, and Van Dam immediately dives out after him with a somersault senton. Inside, RVD with a flying legdrop for two, so Storm dumps him with a dropkick, and tries a plancha - but hits the concrete. Van Dam with a springboard moonsault off of the rail, and unloads with a chair. He dropkicks it in Storm's face, and hits a forward-falling butterfly suplex. Five-Star Frogsplash gets two, so he whacks him with the chair again, but misses a blind charge, and gets suplexed onto the chair. Storm spinheel kick, and a handspring bodyblock set up a flying forearm for two. Boston Crab, but RVD won't give, and manages a legdrop across the apron. He brings another chair in for that stupid spot where he throws it to the other guy, then spinkicks it into his face - but Strom does the logical thing to do when an opponent hands you a weapon: simply uses it. That sets up a powerbomb onto the chair, and a flying legdrop onto it. German suplex, but Van Dam mule kicks him, and hits a botched springboard backelbow for two. Storm finds the German suplex for two, and grabs the chair again, but this time Van Dam spinkicks it into his face. Standing moonsault finishes at 10:10. Match was super spotty, but all the flipping and flopping didn't make psychological sense (as it did in a match like Pillman/Liger from SuperBrawl II, where they used it to distract the other man, and throw him off of his game), but rather just serving to make simple moves look overly complex, and choreographed. * ¼

Taka Michinoku, Dick Togo, and Men’s Teioh v The Great Sasuke, Gran Hamada, and Masato Yakushiji: Michinoku and Hamada start the match, and Hamada dominates. Masato in with a legdrop, then quickly tags to Sasuke to properly kill him with lightning kicks. Suplex, but Taka blocks, and drags him to his home corner for his partners to take turns doing sentons on. Great triple-team Boston Crab into a reverse chinlock into a dropkick spot, and Togo hits another senton for two. Masato in again, but Teioh drops him an a delayed vertical suplex held for so long, Davey Boy Smith would start marking out. They keep triple-teaming Masato, but he gets a quick armdrag on Taka, and tags Hamada. He gets Taka into an armbreaker, but realizes he's in the wrong part of town, and releases for a side suplex. Tag to Sasuke, and he gets into a somersault exhibition with Teioh. Hamada in with a rana on Togo for two, but Taka breaks it up - only to get cradled for two. Hamada takes him to his home corner for some retaliatory triple teaming, and Sasuke hooks an anklelock - only to have Taka impressively power up into an enzuigiri. Sasuke takes some triple-teams, including a great spot where they literally stop to pose on top of him to taunt the others. He finally gets a tag off to Yakushiji, but he gets obliterated with a brainbuster from Taka, and more triple-teaming. Hamada tries again, but gets spike piledriven. Sasuke is finally able to slow them down, but ends up springboard moonsaulting into the front row. Crazy six-way brawl breaks out - with the referee just casually staying out of the way – until Sasuke kills Michinoku with a Tiger suplex at 16:55 of just non-stop action. Another spotfest, but the spots were much more interesting, properly executed, and crisp - as well as building a nice story with the heels killing every single comeback in the cradle, before Sasuke finally found a way to breakthrough during the wild six-way brawl. *** ½

ECW Television Title Match: Shane Douglas v Pitbull #2: Pitbull charges right in, and backdrops Douglas to the heavens before grabbing a front-facelock. They blow a low blow spot, and Pitbull gives him a shoulderblock for two. Chokes follow, as Douglas manager Francine (who I met once, and was incredibly sweet - talking about life in ECW) starts crying. Likely of boredom, 'cause so far there is a distinct lack of intensity for a blowoff match in a promotion pretty much built around intense matches. Shane comes back with a rana, and hits three piledrivers - which also acts as a taunt, as their feud came about when Douglas broke Pitbull #1's neck. Hanging vertical suplex, and Shane goes to a reverse chinlock, but Pitbull powers up with an inverted atomic drop. Backdrop puts Shane over-the-top, and through the obligatory table, and Pitbull 1 (sitting in the front row) gets in his shots. Shane's rent-a-riot squad pull him off, but #2 isn't finished dumping on him. He brings the guardrail into the ring (give him credit, that's certainly outside the box), but they botch yet another crotch related spot: this time across the rail. To the floor, Douglas properly crotches him on the rail, as Francine looks on approvingly. Slugfest goes Pitbull's way, and they do a double knockout spot. Pitbull powerslam for two, and a backelbow gets two. Dropkick for two, so Francine passes Shane a pair of knux. He unloads with it, and then cracks him with a piece of the broken table for two. Chair shot gets two. Shot with the ring bell for two. Another piece of the table gets two, and finally he starts unloading with the title belt. Pitbull finally stops him with a lazy suplex to stop the effort, and he grabs a chain - but Chris Candido runs in to prevent any wallet chain related violence. Douglas with a belly to belly suplex to retain at 20:43. As per pre-match stipulations, the Masked Man who had been tormenting Douglas shows up to reveal himself, and comes out in Rick Rude's robe. It turns out to be Brian Lee, while Rude unmasks as one of the riot squad members, and they take out Douglas to keep the crowd happy. Match was far too long for what they were going for, and was really hurt by a major lack of intensity for a blood feud blowoff. It was also not particularly well worked, with a number of botches, repetitive or lazy spots, and poor transitions. ¼*

Taz v Sabu: These two were former partners, who had been feuding for the bulk of 1996 - quite literally waiting for a proper pay per view to blow the angle off at. Big staredown to start, and they both slap the other in the face - with Taz winning that game. He goes for the Tazmission early, but Sabu hits the deck - only to get caught in an anklelock, and ends up a bloody mess. Well, to be fair, Sabu has, at least, twenty fresh wounds at any given point, so a hug would likely open him up. He must be super popular at strip clubs. Brawl through the crowd, and back inside, Taz ties him up on the mat again. Hopefully that won't cause him to hemorrhage. Sabu with an enzuigiri, and a springboard somersault legdrop. He throws a chair at the fallen Taz, and then springboards off of it, but Taz dodges, and stunguns him onto the unfolded chair. Clothesline gets two - though that seems kinda anticlimactic after dropping a dude face first onto a chair. They spill outside again, and Sabu misses a springboard into the rail. Taz overhead suplexes him into the first row, and sets up a table - balanced between the rail and the ring apron. Sabu goes through that, but manages a rana off the top back inside. Long distance, very visually impressive flying legdrop follows, but Taz just suplexes him a bunch of times to shrug it off. Tazmission, so Sabu desperately throws a blockbuster, and tries the hold himself. That gets him suplexed again, of course, and Taz gets it properly hooked for the win at 17:49. Afterwards, they do the mutual respect thing, but suddenly Rob Van Dam shows up, and teams with Sabu to take Taz out - along with help from his own manager (Bill Alfonso), causing a full on double turn. Match wasn't too long for an intense blowoff, but was too long for the story being told in the ring - especially with Sabu's very limited, springboardy move set. There were points in the match where Taz was selling a shoulder injury like death, but Sabu didn't even bother to make a token effort to work it - instead just flipping and flopping around. * ¾

#1 Contender's 3-Way Dance: The Sandman v Terry Funk v Stevie Richards: Winner gets an ECW World Title shot immediately after. Richards brings the bWo (Blue World Order - a hilarious parody of the nWo, with Richards as a combination of Kevin Nash and Shawn Michaels) with him for moral support. And, also, to like, fuck guys up - if need be. Sandman offers Funk a beer as things get started, but he isn't interested. I never got the fascination with Sandman. Bad wrestler, and his whole 'come out and bash my own head with a beer can until I bleed' gimmick never appealed to me. Also, the stupid Zubaz pants. Everyone chops each other early, and Sandman forms a brief alliance with Stevie to double-team Funk. Funk comes back with a series of neckbreakers, so Sandman throws a ladder into the ring to spice things up. It's a real ECW ladder ladder, too - the kind you get at the hardware store that only has one 'climbable' side - not a standard 'wrestling' ladder. That always frustrated me as a kid. Every time I'd see a ladder in stores, it was never the 'right kind.' Everyone takes a proper trip to the hardware store, until Terry Funk plays airplane spin with the ladder, in a neat visual. Richards with a superkick on Sandman for two, and another one for Funk, but Sandman dumps him - then throws the ladder out onto him for good measure. Funk brings him back in with a suplex, so Sandman brings a trashcan in to really put the 'garbage' in 'garbage wrestling.' Stevie takes a suplex onto it, and a spike piledriver for extra neck breaking fun. Another ladder spot ends up ricocheting - nearly killing some poor guy in the front row - so, of course, the idiots start chanting 'ECW.' Right, 'cause nothing says 'fun' like the possibility of dying at a sporting event. That's what makes it EXTREME!!! Double-team powerbomb gets rid of Richards, and Funk starts lashing Sandman with barbed wire. Sandman responds in kind, but Stevie runs back in with another superkick, and Funk finishes with a flying moonsault at 19:10. Long, dangerous match - 'extreme' and 'hardcore' just for the sake of it, as opposed to playing that aspect to enhance a match - and lacking any real flow. *

Main Event: ECW World Title Match: Raven v Terry Funk: Raven runs right in to make his title defense, and immediately starts bashing the battered, bloody Funk with the title belt. Drop toehold onto a chair, but Funk is bleeding so badly, they literally have to stop the match for a medic to come in and check him out - and the fans love it. To the floor, Funk goes through a table, and Raven calls out his 'Flock.' They abuse Funk some, too, and then the match stops dead as Raven starts taunting guest commentator Tommy Dreamer. He lures him into the ring, but gets DDT'd for his troubles, and Funk hooks an inside cradle to win the title at 7:20. They were dangerously close to running out of airtime - not to mention Funk being near dead - and the match was noticeably disjointed, and rushed as a result. DUD

BUExperience: Certainly not what could be considered a ‘good’ show, but as certainly not a boring one – bolstered by an ultra-hot crowd that would literally take a ladder to the face, and then brag about it. Even if it didn’t feature any classic wrestling (and it didn’t), it was interesting to watch – especially as a comparison to the sanitized WWE version of ECW that aired during the late 2000s – and is well remembered by those who lived through and properly experienced everyone’s favorite glorified Indy promotion, back in the 90s. *