WWF Royal Rumble 1998

1997 had seen sweeping changes in the WWF. Throughout the year, the product had been becoming increasingly more violent, sexual, and generally adult. These changes – along with the rise of stars like Steve Austin, and Degeneration-X – helped make the WWF competitive with WCW again, as they had been badly losing the war for ratings and buyrates since the introduction of the nWo in the summer of 1996.

For me, this was a low point for my beloved WWF. Lower than the real ‘bad period’ of about a year before, as the WWF had forced Bret Hart out at the Survivor Series in Montreal, and I had become disinterested with their product as a result. While I did see the show live, my interest was mainly in WCW during this period – though they, too, were starting to lose me after botching Starrcade so badly.

From San Jose, California; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.


Opening Match: Vader v Goldust: This was during the odd (relatively...) period of Goldust's run where he went through an identity crisis, and started calling himself 'The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust,' - wearing different, loud, usually S&M-themed outfits every week. Goldust jumps him coming in, but gets reversed on an Irish whip, and thumped. He bails to the unloving arms of dominatrix Luna Vachon, so Vader responds by creaming them both. Into the stairs, but Luna distracts him, and causes the buttsplash to miss. Goldust with a series of low blows, and his own toss to the stairs. Inside, ten-punch count, but he makes the mistake of KISSING VADER!!! and has to do a 360 sell off of the clothesline that results in. Suplex, and a splash get two. Short-clothesline, but Goldust counters the Vaderbomb by blowing him low again. Geez dude, cool it. Guys need a little break in between. Vader responds with another buttsplash (successfully this time), so Luna runs in, and jumps on his back. The referee calls for the bell, but Vader waves him off, and finishes with a Vaderbomb with Luna riding him on the way down at 7:51. Solid power match, as Goldust (much like The Undertaker) got significantly better once the character stopped getting in the way, and he was allowed to wrestle. Vader still had legs at this point, too, but the WWF had lost interest completely, and he'd be out of the WWF before the end of 1998. * ¼

Six-Midget Tag Team Match: Max Mini, Mosaic, and Nova v Tarantila, El Torito, and Battalion: Sunny is the guest referee, keeping this from being completely lifeless. 'This' being my penis. Like most of the Midget Matches they aired during this period, tons of somersaults and cartwheels, very little actual contact made - though Torito does nearly launch Mosaic into the lights with a flapjack. Sunny sadly remains almost a non-factor, except for a cute spot where Max leapfrogs through her legs (thank God he wears a mask...), so she uses him as a weapon against the entire other team. Well, if you wanted impartial, you probably shouldn't have hired a literal crack whore who's going to use the combatants as props for 'say hello to my little friend' bits. Mini pins Tarantila at 7:48. Stupid, but inoffensive. Thankfully, this was pretty much the last appearance of the retarded midget 'division.' ½*

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: The Rock v Ken Shamrock: Shamrock throws a couple roundhouse kicks to scare Rock into the corner, and they fight over a few lockups - with Shamrock dodging all of the champs cheap shots. Criss cross allows him to hit the roundhouse, and Rocky goes to the floor to regroup. Back in, he nails Shamrock with a cross corner clothesline, and a sloppy stungun gets two. Couple of slugfests go Shamrock's way, but Rocky keeps raking the eyes, so he throws a bodypress for two. Fisherman's suplex for two, so Rock takes another cheap shot, and dumps him into the stairs for getting uppity. Tornado DDT, and Rock works a chinlock. He tries another DDT, but Shamrock counters with an overhead suplex. Slugfest goes Ken's way, and a powerslam gets two. Rana draws out The Nation, allowing Rock to deck him with a pair of knux - but it only gets two, so Rock slips them into Shamrock's tights. Go-behind, but Shamrock counters with a belly to belly suplex for the title at 10:52. Hold on... Rock bitches that Shamrock hit him with knux, and a referees check of his tights finds the knux around his nuts, leading to a decision reversal. Afterwards, Shamrock kills the referee - as much a response for cupping his nuts as the Intercontinental Title. Dull, repetitive match. Bad pairing, really, since both were still relative rookies, and neither could really carry the other. These two would go on to feud for the bulk of 1998 - with Shamrock only getting victories that didn't lead to him taking the title off of Rocky. ¾*

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The New Age Outlaws v The Legion of Doom: Big brawl to start, which settles with the Animal powerbombing Jesse James, and the LOD cleaning house. They consider bailing, and retaining by countout, but the LOD are too OLD for that trick, and drag them back. Hawk and James start out proper, with Hawk dominating. Animal tags in to hook a headvice, as we get a look at James' mouthful of blood - as he took one hardway during the brawl. Standing neckbreaker, so James bails to Billy Gunn - who gets hit with a Thesz press. Hairpull slam, side suplex, and a powerslam all decimate Gunn, and Hawk hooks an STF. Animal tries to finish, but James lures him to the outside, and forces him into the steel steps. They use the opportunity to double-team Hawk, but he gets uppity, so they handcuff him (they carry them around 24/7, 'cause you never know) to the turnbuckle to shut him up. Billy with a flying bodypress on Animal - but he gets powerslammed on the way down - so Jesse runs in with a chair for the disqualification at 7:57. Sure, 'cause using police grade weapons is totally fine, but a simple chair is just plain wrong. The Outlaws would develop into one of the more popular teams of the Attitude Era, but this was pre-DX, pre-opening shtick - and the crowd was pre-giving a fuck. Not much of a match, either - though kept short enough. ½*

#1 Contender's Royal Rumble Match: 90 second intervals this year - though they advertise it as two minutes. Austin winning was a forgone conclusion, so the big gimmick going in was that he'd pissed off the entire locker room - with a habit of making and then breaking alliances, getting involved in other peoples business, and generally not listening to reason. Basically, he was a metaphor for America - and that the others would all be gunning for him. Though, really, if they wanted to do a 'everyone hates this guy' angle, Shawn Michaels was still on the damn roster, and the level of method acting would have been off the charts. Cactus Jack and Terry Funk get numbers one and two, and pick up their rivalry, doing a dueling chairs bit right off the bat. Cute bit as Jack clobbers him with a chair, then passes it to Funk to return the favor. Tom Brandi gets #3, so the Hardcore Icons stop fighting long enough to toss him. Then go right back to hitting each other with chairs. The Rock draws #4, and has an easy time with the two battered fools, until they decide to stick him in a trashcan and abuse him with chairs. Mosh gets #5, and takes a sloppy moonsault from Funk. Phineas Godwinn draws #6, and predictably goes for Mosh. #7 is 8-Ball (they really missed an opportunity there), as Funk tosses Cactus Jack. Bradshaw ends up with #8, and he spreads the love around. Owen Hart draws #9, but Jeff Jarrett (doing the NWA revival gimmick) jumps him in the aisle, and beats him down. Man, Owen never has any luck making it into these things. He'd have been WWF Champion if he'd learned to stop pissing people off between November and January. #10 is Steve Blackman, and he tries to toss Terry. No go, so 8-Ball piledrives him for fun. Funk's the oldest guy in there, and he's the only one really ready to work - as everyone else just lies around, or throws punches. #11 is D-lo Brown, and he walks right into a lariat from 8-Ball. Kurrgan gets #12, and tosses Mosh to establish his presence. Blackman makes the mistake of getting in his way, so the big man sends him home, too. Meanwhile, Marc Mero draws lucky #13, as everyone decides to do the smart thing, and gang up to dump Kurrgan. Ken Shamrock gets #14, though he doesn't go for the obvious Rock-shaped target. Thrasher draws #15, and helps tag partner Mosh with Phineas, as D-lo chokes fellow Nation member, The Rock. #16 is Mankind, as Mick Foley schemed to enter the Rumble multiple times based on his multiple personality disorder. He gets right back into it with Funk, of course, but having had a breather - this time eliminates him. Rock teases a couple of eliminations from Shamrock, as Goldust (with a whole new S&M outfit, just for this) pulls #17. He manages to dump Mankind, as #18 draw Jeff Jarrett heads to the ring. He gets into it, but Owen Hart (who never made it to the ring earlier) shows up, and tosses him. Good strategy actually, as Jarrett jumping him gave him a later entry – Owen waited 'til he was in the ring to get revenge, and cost him his spot. The Honky Tonk Man gets #19, as Rock tossed Shamrock. Triple H and Chyna show up at ringside to 'observe,' and manage to pull Owen out - as he they had issues stemming from Montreal. #20 is Ahmed Johnson, but this is well past when anybody gave a shit. Even Ahmed himself. Mark Henry draws #21, and engages in some black-on-black violence with fellow Nation pal D-lo, dumping Johnson.  #22 doesn't make it out, as the announcers speculate that it's Austin's spot - and someone took him out backstage. We'd later find out it was Skull. Meanwhile Henry takes out Phineas, as Kama Mustafa (yet another Nation member) joins in at #23. He proves the continued stupidity of the Nation, brawling with D-lo instead of teaming up with the three other guys in the match in his stable to clear the ring. Fuck, even the Bushwhackers could have figured that bit of strategy out. #24 is Steve Austin, and literally the entire match stops to get ready to kick his ass. He comes through the crowd to get a sneak attack, and dumps Mero and 8-Ball right away. Everyone gangs up, but Austin manages to hold his own, as Henry Godwinn gets #25. He goes for Austin, too. More Nation stupidity, as Kama and Rocky get into a slugfest, as #26 draw Savio Vega heads in. He wants to destroy Austin so badly, he brings his entire gang (Los Boricuas!) with him for morale support (see: to hit Austin, while thinking nice thoughts), but Austin destroys them all. Faarooq gets #27 - filling the ring with five Nation members - but he goes for the Rock instead of focusing on WrestleMania. Considering he's number twenty Goddamn seven, that's horrible fucking strategy, as five guys ganging up at that point could have easily taken everyone out, and then fought as the final five. #28 is Dude Love - the last of Foley's personalities - and he gets rid of Bradshaw. Chainz draws #29, as Faarooq tosses D-lo. Vader rounds out the field at #30, and tosses Honky immediately, before getting back into things with Goldust. Austin gets rid of Thrasher and Kama, as the announcers finally clue into the fact that the Nation are a bunch of retards. Savio's next to get Austin'd, as Goldust gets rid of Vader. Down to five guys, and Faarooq still stupidly eliminates Mark Henry. That leaves Austin, Dude, Faarooq, and The Rock - though only Austin is a real contender, with Rock as an outside possibility. Dude is first to go (via Faarooq), but the remaining Nation members still can't get it together when it's down to two-on-one, with Rock tossing Faarooq. It bites him in the ass pretty quickly, though, as Austin gets ready for his date with destiny at 55:25. Not the greatest Rumble, but they distributed what star power they had well, and the ‘3 Faces of Foley’ bit was a cute way to disguise how thin the roster was. Still, a lot of dull portions with JTTS guys hanging around for far too long (Thrasher does a half hour? Bradshaw does near forty minutes, and doesn't even toss a single man?) to really become interesting. ** ¼ Afterwards, Mike Tyson (watching from a luxury box, with happy-to-not-be-an-outside-referee Shane McMahon) foreshadows his allegiance WrestleMania.

Main Event: WWF Title Casket Match: Shawn Michaels v The Undertaker: This is the rematch from their Hell in a Cell match in October, and the first time Shawn and 'Taker are tasked with trying to outperform themselves. After that match, Shawn is considerably scared of 'Taker, but uses his speed to stick and move. Undertaker no-sells it all, though, and backdrops Shawn over-the-top, sending him crashing into the casket - hitting his back on the way down. That last part became important, as Shawn took the bump incorrectly (which, upon first viewing, doesn't seem particularly crazy - especially when compared with previous Michaels bumps), and damaged his back so badly, most everyone in wrestling thought his career was over. He would, in fact, have to take over four years off after losing the title to Austin at WrestleMania due to complications from the injury, before returning to have a second, in many ways equally legendary career. 'Taker follows out with a press slam on the floor, and he literally kicks him into the casket - but Shawn runs. Back in, 'Taker lays him out, and then picks him up to knock him down again with the ropewalk forearm. Shawn takes a cross corner bump to the floor, and gets powerslammed coming back in - which had to be just great for his back. To the casket again, but Shawn throws some powder in 'Taker's eyes to slow him down. Flying moonsault, and a Cactus Clothesline puts them outside - where 'Taker tosses him into the rail. Shawn reverses one into the steps, and he piledrives him onto them. That allows Triple H to get some shots in (though, really, it's no DQ - he and Chyna should have just stormed the ring at the bell, and pulled a 1994), and Shawn creams him with a chair. Inside, Shawn with a jumping backelbow, and he tries for the casket, but 'Taker refuses to die. Shawn switches gears with a sleeper - looking to knock him out - but 'Taker fires a side suplex to break. He's still woozy, though, so Shawn hits a diving forearm, and his flying elbowdrop. Superkick, and he tries for the casket again, so 'Taker literally grabs him by the balls to stop the effort. Backdrop, and a Flair Flip, but Shawn knocks him into the casket, and follows in with an elbowdrop. They both escape, and 'Taker chokeslams him, then impressively Tombstones him into the casket. That draws out Los Boricuas, and the New Age Outlaws, and it's 1994 time! Kane (still a newcomer, in his first program against The Undertaker) shows up (taking everyone else out, since Kane don't do teamwork), then chokeslams 'Taker into the casket to give Shawn the win at 20:00. Then he lights it on fire. Guess losing that 'power of the urn' shit really fucked him over, 'cause 1994 'Taker would never job to only six guys. People have (what I’d like to imagine) are literal field days tearing apart the '94 Casket Match, but, really, this was the same shit - only with a better match before the craziness. He set the damn casket on fire! Sure, that freaked me out as a kid, but it's really only about a step above 'Undertaker dies and levitates to the heavens.' Okay... maybe two steps. Match wasn't anywhere near Hell in a Cell level - but was a solid brawl, with Shawn pinballing around, and a couple of neat spots – like the tombstone into the casket. **

BUExperience: The show is fairly well remembered historically – as the WWF finally started recovering from both Montreal and a long Turner ass-kicking – but it’s a pretty lousy show, otherwise. Much like many Attitude Era shows, they were fun live, but don’t hold up years later – even if they’ve become historically significant. Bottom line: tons of non-finishes, an average Rumble, and midgets don’t exactly make for a classic. DUD