WCW World War 3 - 1996

After the complete and utter critical failure of the first World War 3 event in 1995, WCW did the only logical thing: run the show again! Heading into the 1996 card, the WCW World Title wasn’t vacant, so instead they did the very corporate thing, and offered the winner of the 60-man, 3-ring battle royal a World Title shot… at some undetermined point in the future.

From Norfolk, Virginia; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, and Bobby Heenan – with Mike Tenay, Lee Marshall and, Larry Zbyszko joining in to help cover the battle royal.


Opening J-Crown Title Match: Ultimo Dragon v Rey Misterio, Jr.: They do a couple of stalemates, and Dragon takes control with an armbar. Misterio counters into a wristlock, they do a bunch of flips and cartwheels to further establish that they're evenly matched. Dragon gets sick of him, and swats him down with lightning kicks, and a springboard dropkick puts Rey on the floor. Suplex back in, so Rey counters to a go-behind, but Dragon counters with a German suplex. Flapjack, and he destroys Rey with an impressive tilt-a-whirl into an airplane spin into a backbreaker spot. Standard backbreaker, and he hooks a half-crab. Rey won't give, so Dragon flattens him with a powerbomb - then hangs on, and dead lifts him into a stungun. Spinebuster, and he gives him a giant swing for getting pesky. Rey finally manages to bail to the floor to regroup, but gets caught with a well executed fisherman's buster on the way back in. Vertical suplex gets two, but Misterio counters a second with an inside cradle for two. That just serves to piss Dragon off, and he ties him up on the mat with a leglock. Vicious looking tombstone gets two, and a dropkick puts Rey out again. Dragon whips him into the rail out there, and then drops him with a tombstone on the floor for good measure. Plancha, and back inside, Dragon with a rana off of the top for two. Running sit-out powerbomb gets two, but a blind charge misses, and Rey throws a spinheel kick. Springboard moonsault gets the challenger two, and a springboard dropkick puts Dragon on the floor. Rey follows with a crazy springboard somersault bodyblock, and then flies in with a springboard sunset flip for two. Handspring rana gets two, but Dragon catches him with a Dragon suplex for two. Another powerbomb, but Rey counters with a sunset flip for two. Springboard rana, but Dragon catches him, and hits a slingshot sit-out powerbomb to retain at 13:48. Just fantastic. Fast paced, crisp spots (that actually made good use of flipping around, as they often used it to confuse the opponent, as opposed to just doing it to do it) throughout, with a nice little story of Rey getting slaughtered by Dragon for most of the match, and fighting to make a comeback - only to fall to the more 'experienced' grappler. Great choice for an opener - totally making up for their Hog Wild bout. **** ¼

Chris Jericho v Nick Patrick: Nick Patrick, doing the evil referee bit, had aligned himself with the nWo, and Jericho threatened to beat him with literally one arm tied behind his back. Which he actually followed through on. Nick Patrick comes out in a neck brace to really go for the cheap heat. Big staredown to start, and Jericho bitchslaps him with one hand tied behind his back. He actually pulls out a powerslam that way, and Patrick bails to the floor to moan about his neck. Test-of-strength goes Jericho's way when he turns it into a hammerlock, and he unloads lightning kicks in the corner. Hiptoss, and Patrick bails to bitch again - but Jericho can't properly fly out after him due to the arm gimmick. He does walk out after him, but ends up missing a shot to the post, and Patrick throws him back inside. Snapmare, and Patrick busts out the Hennig-necksnap. He unloads in the corner, but misses a blind charge, and gets backdropped. He intelligently lures Jericho into a chase to takeover, but gets slammed when he tries to go to the top, and a superkick finishes for Jericho at 8:02. The 'one hand tied' bit definitely limited what Jericho could do, but he certainly made a good go of it, and this was fun. ½*

Jeff Jarrett v The Giant: Jarrett goes right at him with fists of fury - but gets thrown clear across the ring for his troubles, and flattened with a clothesline. Giant blind charge misses, however, and Jarrett hits an avalanche. Second one meets boot, and Giant bodyslams him. Chopfest goes Giant's way, and he chokes Doubly J out in the corner - as the crowd notices Sting in the rafters. Big boot and a legdrop (he learned from the best), as Sting starts making his way through the crowd. Giant misses a Vaderbomb, allowing Jarrett a flying bodypress for two. Meanwhile, Sting hits the ring, and drops Jarrett with an inverted DDT, furthering speculation that he had joined the nWo (which Giant was a member of). Chokeslam finishes at 6:05. Better and peppier than their super-dull Halloween Havoc match, and thankfully kept short. ¾*

Contract Signing: After Roddy Piper showed up at the end of Halloween Havoc, he continued to challenge Hogan to a match, which was finally agreed to for Starrcade. They come out to sign the contract, but Hogan doesn't have time for legal shit (not 'til later...), and sends Eric Bischoff in his place. Piper won't have it, so Hogan finally joins us - along with the entire nWo for backup, which is kinda like a wrestling Tiananmen Square. Predictably, the nWo beats Piper down, taking shots at his artificial hip (which was from a motorcycle accident, but made him seem like an old man when presented as a guy with a bad hip), and Piper swears revenge at Starrcade.

The Amazing French-Canadians v Harlem Heat: This was an angle old as time: Canadians hate black people, and then they fight. I was always a huge Quebecers fan as a kid, and was totally excited about them coming into WCW. The poor Quebecers get booed for singing the damned Canadian national anthem - which is more than kinda ridiculous, considering Americans don't have an at all hostile relationship with our neighbors to the North. And this wasn't even an angle - like the Hart Foundation running down America, and then getting booed for their Canadian pride - this was just booing them for having Canadian pride. Jacques and Booker T start, and they trade kip ups. Booker gets a roundhouse kick to takeover, and tags Stevie Ray. He hammer Jacques, but gets caught with a backelbow, and Carl (Pierre - working under his real name) tags in.  He hits a quick avalanche, but gets nailed with a side suplex for two. Tag back to Booker for a kneedrop, as the Heat cut the ring in half. Booker gets caught in the wrong part of town, however, and the Canadians hit a nice legsweep/clothesline combo, as they take their turn at cutting the ring in half. Cheap shot allows Stevie to tag, and he's a house of arson, as a four-way brawl breaks out. The Canadians manage a spike piledriver in the chaos, but the referee gets bumped, so no count. They take the time to set up the ring steps on the top rope, and try a super elevated version of the assisted senton - but Stevie dodges, and Booker creams Carl with a flying somersault legdrop for the pin at 9:14. Dull match, though the ending was fun. ¾* As per pre-match stipulations, Heat manager Sherri now gets five minutes with Canadians (and former Heat manager/Sherri lover) Robert Parker.

Inter-Gender Match: Robert Parker v Sherri: Sherri is overjoyed at the prospect of getting five minutes with the man who 'left her at the alter,' and goes right to wrecking him. He tries to bail, but Sherri chases him into another ring, and hits a pair of lariats. Flying bodypress gets two, and he bails again, and they all run to the back - though the referee gives it to Sherri by countout at 1:30. Nice payoff for the angle, without having to have a proper match. ¼*

WCW Cruiserweight Title Match: Dean Malenko v Psychosis: Psychosis quickly wrestles him to the mat, but Malenko casually counters into an STF. Too close to the ropes, though, so Malenko takes him to center ring, and ties him up again with a bow-and-arrow. They go to a stalemate fighting over an armbar, so Dean switches gears and marvelously sweeps him into a leglock. Psychosis finally throws a spinkick to put Dean out, but misses a flying axehandle, and runs into the rail. Inside, Dean hooks a headscissors, but Psychosis makes the ropes, so Malenko goes to an elevated half crab. No-go, so he hits a double-underhook powerbomb, and locks the Texas Cloverleaf - but it's too close to the ropes again. He unloads in the corner out of frustration, and keeps after the knee, until Psychosis bails to regroup. Back in, Dean ties him in a tree of woe, then dumps him again. Baseball slide misses, however, and Psychosis hits a backbreaker on the outside. He follows with a flying corkscrew bodyblock, and rolls him in for a flying legdrop. It only gets two, so he dropkicks him into the corner for a rana off of the top for two. Hanging vertical suplex, but Malenko counters into a cradle for two. Psychosis tries to keep control with a tombstone, and they do a four-alarm reversal sequence ending in Dean hitting it for two. Standard rollup into a bridge finishes for the champ at 14:33. They really should have went with the tombstone spot as the finish. Decent cruiserweight match, but came off a bit slow and dull with all the tying up on the mat - a common problem in Malenko matches. **

WCW World Tag Team Title Triangle Match: The Outsiders v The Nasty Boys v The Faces of Fear: Big brawl to start, with the WCW-teams ganging up on the Outsiders. Once they clean house, naturally they turn on each other, as the champs patiently hang out on the floor and let them get it out of their systems. The Nasties try to cut the ring in half on Barbarian, but he dodges an elbowdrop, and gets choked in the corner, as the Outsiders hang out, politely applauding. Meng makes the mistake of tagging Kevin Nash in (despite his protests), and the Outsiders proceed in destroying everyone. Scott Hall finally falls to Barbarian, but a six-way brawl quickly breaks out - with the Outsiders again hanging back and letting the idiots pile onto each other. They force another tag to Nash, and he drops Barbarian with a sidewalk slam, but Hall gets side suplexed by Meng. Hall decides to tag out to Barbarian - making the Faces of Fear showdown - but they're not smart enough to realize one can just lay down for the other and win the titles then and there, instead tagging to Knobs to avoid fighting. The WCW guys finally get their shit together, and simultaneously tag Hall and Nash, and the crowd wakes up. They're not retarded, though, and Nash just lays down for Hall - though the pin gets broken up at two. Six-way brawl, and Nash finishes Knobs with a powerbomb to retain at 16:08. And no wonder, 'cause WCW's strategy sucked. Really punchy-kicky, and probably about a third too long, with only a few 'cute' spots from The Outsiders peppered in. Pretty much totally useless, actually. DUD

Main Event: #1 Contender's World War 3 Battle Royal: Same as last year, it's three 20-man battle royals going on simultaneously, until each ring is down to ten guys, and they migrate into one ring for a final battle royal. Participants: Arn Anderson, Marcus Bagwell, The Barbarian, Chris Benoit, Big Bubba Rogers, Jack Boot, Bunkhouse Buck, Ciclope, Disco Inferno, Jim Duggan, Bobby Eaton, Mike Enos, Galaxy, Joe Gomez, The Giant, Jimmy Del Ray, Johnny Grunge, Juventud Guerrera, Eddy Guerrero, Scott Hall, Prince Iaukea, Ice Train, Mr. JL, Jeff Jarrett, Chris Jericho, Kenny Kaos, Konnan, Lex Luger, Dean Malenko, Steve McMichael, Meng, Rey Misterio, Jr, Hugh Morrus, Kevin Nash, Scott Norton, Carl Ouellet, Diamond Dallas Page, La Parka, Sgt. Craig Pittman, Jim Powers, Robbie Rage, Stevie Ray, Lord Steven Regal, The Renegade, Scotty Riggs, Roadblock, Jacques Rougeau, Tony Rumble, Mark Starr, Rick Steiner, Ron Studd, Kevin Sullivan, Syxx, Booker T, David Taylor, Ultimo Dragon, Villano IV, Michael Wallstreet, Pez Whatley, and Alex Wright. Benoit attacks Kevin Sullivan on the floor before the match even starts, so the Faces of Fear intervene, and before you can say 'whatever' we have a full scale Horsemen/Dungeon of Doom gang brawl into the stands as the match gets underway. As for the others, standard battle royal going on, with the usual triple-split screens making it almost impossible to decipher. The nWo guys all stick together in their ring, and mostly just hang out in the corner, letting the retarded WCW guys eliminate each other instead of ganging together to outnumber the nWo guys, and clear the ring. By the time the WCW guys figure out basic battle royal (or, really, basic life) strategy, the ranks have thinned out, and The Giant tosses a bunch of guys for the mother-nWo. They finally settle into one ring, with the nWo still pretty much in full force, as we've got Hall, Nash, Giant, Syxx, Jarrett, Luger, Page, Eddie, Regal, and little Rey Misterio. Regal stupidly tosses fellow WCW-er Eddie Guerrero, and Giant impressively press slams Rey out - one handed! As awesome as the 'dart bump' into the trailer from earlier that year, though it hasn’t proven as memorable. The nWo clear everyone else in short order, and that leaves them alone against Lex Luger - four-on-one. Crowd gets right behind that, and Luger even gets Giant in the Torture Rack before the others break it up. He tosses Syxx and The Outsiders, but Giant pops over, and shoves him out to win at 28:21 - completely deflating the crowd. Complete and total DUD - just as expected. Since Hogan is WCW Champion, Giant was never given the vaguely promised title shot, until one day he outright asked for it, and was promptly thrown out of the nWo for his troubles.

BUExperience: WCW could do no wrong from a commercial standpoint during this period, with the superhot nWo angle doing record numbers everywhere. Still, this one definitely felt more like a ‘placeholder’ between Halloween Havoc and Starrcade than a proper pay per view – without anything of consequence happening. Pretty much a decent, if totally forgettable show, with a solid undercard propelled by a fantastic opener – then weighed down by a horrible main event. *