WWF Royal Rumble 1990

By 1990, with the Royal Rumble established as a part of the WWF’s pay per view calendar, the battle royal was once again booked to test the waters for what would be the WrestleMania main event – the much anticipated first meeting between Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior.

From Orlando, Florida; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura.


Opening Match: The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers v The Bushwhackers: Raymond Rougeau and Butch start, and Raymond makes the mistake of wrestling, which literally comes back to bit him in the ass. Butch throws a bite to referee Danny Davis' tushy for good measure - somehow not drawing a disqualification, though I would have loved to see that as an ending to a Bushwhackers match just once. Speaking of which, the fuck is Danny Davis doing officiating. I mean, I know they ran that angle where he gets reinstated under probation, but come on - that's like hiring a registered sex offender to run a daycare.  Jacques Rougeau and Luke go, and more biting follows. The Rougeau's finally manage to wrestle Luke out of rabies-fest, and cut the ring in half. Splash hits the knees, however, so Fabulous manager Jimmy Hart gets involved to give the Rougeau's the advantage again. Raymond hooks a Boston Crab, but the Bushwhackers break it up, and finish Jacques with the battering ram at 13:35. Way too long for what they were going for, and just generally bad - assaulting the referee, blatant double teams - it had no finesse. - ½*

The Genius v Brutus Beefcake: Oddly, Genius (Lanny Poffo, brother of Randy Savage) was playing the gay character, when it's Beefcake wearing bottom exposing tights, with pink accents, and hailing from San Francisco. Anyway, Genius tries to railroad Beefcake into the corner, but takes an inverted atomic drop, and bails to regroup. Back in, Genius rakes the eyes to win a collar-and-elbow tie-up, but misses a dropkick, and gets crotched on the ropes. Genius outsmarts him (hey!), and gets a schoolboy for two. To be clear, that's a rollup - Lanny did not have a young boy delivered to sexually assault in the middle of a WWF ring. 2^nd rope axehandle misses, however, so Beefcake locks the Sleeper - but the referee gets bumped along the way. Genius is out, but there's no referee, so Beefcake declares himself the winner (considering the other guy, and the referee are out cold - not too many people to protest), and starts cutting Genius' hair off. That draws Mr. Perfect out with a chair, and when the dust settles, it's a no contest at 11:07. Well booked - allowing Beefcake to look strong without winning, and bringing Perfect into things to set up his WrestleMania match with Beefcake. Match was better than the opener, but complete TV-fare. ¼*

Submission Match: Greg Valentine v Ron Garvin: Valentine tries to bail in protest of Garvin shin guard (an identical one of which is on Valentine's shin), but Garvin drags him back in. He beats him for a cover, but the referee reminds him it's submission only. Undeterred, Garvin keeps hammering away, but Valentine responds in kind, and we get a long slugfest. Valentine gets the best of it, but also goes for a pinfall, to establish for anyone still confused that it's SUBMISSION ONLY!!! Another slugfest leads to a Garvin piledriver, but Valentine backdrops to counter. Garvin counters into a sunset flip, stupidly trying for the pinfall again. Between the multiple slugfests, pinfall attempts, and total lack of submission holds, I'm not entirely sure these two were even informed that this was submissions only beforehand. Valentine finally hooks his figure four, but Garvin's shin guard his shin, and it has no effect. Well, after all those matches with Flair, it would be ridiculous if he didn’t come up with something. Valentine tries an overhead backbreaker next, but Garvin won't give, so Valentine straight up chokes him. It doesn't work, though, as Garvin SHRINKS UP!! Fists of Fury! Drop-toehold! Indian Deathlock! - but Valentine makes the ropes, and bails to regroup. Garvin follows, and tries a piledriver on the floor, but again, Greg backdrops to counter. Thankfully, this time Garvin doesn't try a sunset flip for the pin. Inside, Garvin gets tied in the tree of woe, and Valentine manager Jimmy Hart takes the time to tear away his shin guard. Valentine goes right for the kill with the figure four - even using the ropes – but he can't get the submission. He keeps after the leg, but Garvin again tries for the pinfall with an inside cradle. Shockingly, that doesn't work - but catching Valentine with a slam off of the top and tearing off his shin guard is a bit more effective. He nails Valentine with it, and hooks the Sharpshooter for the submission at 16:55. Garvin's selling of the leg was good, but really dull match otherwise - working more as an extended slugfest than a proper submission match - as well as a bit annoying with all the endless pinfall attempts. It had its moments, but too long for what they ended up doing. ¾*

The Brother Love Show: Brother Love has guests Sensational Sherri and Sapphire (managers of Randy Savage and Dusty Rhodes, respectively), and after much verbal abuse from Sherri, they get into a catfight. Well, really more of a dog fight, but I'll be nice. That leads to Savage and Rhodes running in, properly setting up the mixed-tag match for WrestleMania VI. Fine angle development, but like a lot of stuff on this show - didn't really belong on pay per view. Hell, I'd rather see Jim...

Jim Duggan v The Big Bossman: Ah, crap. Bossman was still technically a heel here, though he'd be turning face not long after. Slugfest to start, going Bossman's way, but Duggan catches him with a big shoulderblock to knock him to the floor. Bossman drags him out with him, and posts him, but misses a blind charge into the steps. Inside, Duggan keeps after the injured shoulder, but gets caught with a Stinger Splash. Bossman with an enzuigiri, and Bossman pounds him, as Jesse Ventura writes it off as simple interrogation, like he'd be using with any one of his inmates. I liked the Bossman character as a kid (as apparently a lot of other people did, as WCW blatantly tried to steal it when he jumped in '93), but what I never got: they didn't sell him as a former prison guard, but as a current one. How much vacation time did he save up, exactly? Bossman with a bearhug, but Duggan makes the ropes, and clotheslines Bossman to the floor. Bossman tries a flying splash back in - but misses - and we have a double knockout. Bossman grabs his nightstick in frustration, and it's a disqualification at 10:26. Both guys worked hard, but the crowd treated it as a bathroom break before the Rumble, literally shitting (some of them were pissed, I'm sure...) all over it from stalls around the arena. ½*

Main Event: Royal Rumble Match: Two minute intervals this time around. Ted DiBiase and Koko B. Ware draw numbers one and two - in a great bit of irony, after DiBiase tried to buy the match the year before. DiBiase jumps him on the way in, and absolutely destroys him, tossing him before the third man even enters the match. Well, he's making the best of his situation, gotta give him that. Marty Jannetty draws #3, but doesn't have any better luck – getting tossed before Jake Roberts comes in at #4. DiBiase intelligently jumps him on the floor, but gets posted when he tries for the Million Dollar Dream, and inside, Roberts hits the short-clothesline. DDT, but DiBiase backdrops him. Randy Savage draws #5, and helps DiBiase work Roberts over. #6 is Roddy Piper, and comes in a house of arson - going ballistic on Savage and DiBiase - and fighting back-to-back with Jake. Warlord enters at #7, and he tries to calm Piper down. The distraction allows DiBiase and Savage to double-team Roberts, as Bret Hart gets #8. He gets caught in DiSavage, but dodges a double-clothesline, and teams up with Piper to go after Warlord. Bad News Brown joins the chaos at #9, and goes right for the Hitman. Meanwhile, Jake tries the DDT on DiBiase, but Savage saves with a clothesline, and tosses Jake. Hmm, well, no wonder he crashed his wedding. Dusty Rhodes draws #10 and predictably goes right for Savage, dumping him in short order. There has to be some level of irony in Dusty Rhodes competing in a Royal Rumble, considering the event was born as a counterprogramming effort to Rhodes' own Bunkhouse Stampede idea. Bad News tries to avenge Savage, but not even he can lift Dusty Rhodes over the top rope. Andre the Giant gets #11, and immediately tosses Warlord. He destroys Piper and Rhodes next, as The Red Rooster comes in at #12. He gets quickly Andre'd, however. Meanwhile, Piper cleanly dumps Bad News, but Brown flips out (Bad News Brown? Angry? No!) and reaches back in to pull Piper out. They brawl to the dressing rooms, properly setting up their WrestleMania match. Ax gets lucky #13, and goes for Andre - who had (along with Haku) recently won the tag titles from Demolition. He manages to (along with Dusty Rhodes) do some damage – tying Andre in the ropes - but #14 draw Haku objects. Smash draws #15 to even the odds - though Andre manages to manhandle both of them with relative ease. Akeem gets #16, as Dusty dumps Bret, and the Demos team up to toss Andre. Rhodes and Akeem have it out, which should have been the proper feud - not Rhodes/Bossman - as The American Dream Dusty Rhodes v Akeem The African Dream would have been the best feud of all time. Unfortunately, Jimmy Snuka gets #17, and breaks up the money match by tossing Akeem. He helps Haku out against Demolition's double-teaming, but in classic Royal Rumble logic, gets decked for his efforts by everyone involved. #18 is Dino Bravo, and, not surprisingly, he doesn't do much. Earthquake draws #19, and quickly dumps Dusty. Ax goes next, and #20 draw Jim Neidhart decides enough is enough, and gets everyone (all six guys - even Earthquake pal, Bravo) to team up to dump 'Quake. The Ultimate Warrior gets #21, and quickly dumps Dino. He sets after Snuka next, but a Haku double-team slows him down. Rick Martel draws #22, and gets right into it with Smash. Haku lends a hand in dumping him, and Martel teases a close elimination from Neidhart. Tito Santana gets #23, and naturally goes right for Martel. #24 is the Honky Tonk Man, and he stupidly goes right for Warrior. Martel gets rid of Neidhart for interrupting his private war with Tito, as Warrior dumps DiBiase - who settles for the longevity record at 44:47. #25 is Hulk Hogan, and he dumps Snuka before even tearing his shirt off. Haku is the next victim of Hulkamania, as Warrior helps Martel dump Santana. Shawn Michaels draws #26, but gets tossed by Warrior before he even gets a look at the crowd. Martel is the next victim, and that leaves Hogan and Warrior alone. The roof nearly blows off of the place as they realize the showdown is coming, and they do a power stalemate off of a pair of shoulderblocks to start. Big criss cross leads to a double knockout, and third-wheel Barbarian gets #27. He beats both fallen champions, as Rick Rude joins at #28 - though way ahead of his mark, likely because the Barbarian dominating Hogan and Warrior for an extended period isn't the message they wanted to send. They double-team Hogan first - until Warrior saves - so he gets teamed up on next. Hogan doesn't return the favor with a save, however, instead helping to push him out. #29 is Hercules, running right in to help Hogan out of the jam. Mr. Perfect rounds out the field at #30, and goes right for Hogan - who he had been feuding with leading up to this. Herc dumps Barbarian off of a blind charge, leaving Hogan, Perfect, Hercules, and Rude as the final four. Herc's first to go after a Rude/Perfect double-team, and they turn to the Hulkster. A miscommunication sees Rude deck Perfect, so in retaliation, Perfect pulls down the top rope when Hogan whips Rude his way, eliminating him. Perfect with a Perfect-plex on Hogan, but he's full on HULKING UP!! Slingshot! Series of Clotheslines! And Hogan wins it all at 58:46. Really fun Rumble, with particularly good distribution of their excellent roster (lots of star-power towards the start, well timed use of the midcard guys coming in as filler, and then letting the main eventers finish up), as well as effectively setting up a bunch of WrestleMania showdowns. *** ¼

BUExperience: Dull card overall - with a lot of focus on TV-level midcard feuds - but a fun Rumble on top (which takes up a considerable amount of the show – over a third), and a generally fun atmosphere in front of a hot crowd tepidly saves the day. Very tepidly, as it still doesn’t justify sitting through the whole thing – but the Rumble itself was certainly entertaining, and set up one of the more memorable WrestleMania main events, as well as a lot of uppercard matches for that card.

I didn’t find this one interesting as a kid (the undercard bored me – particularly the involvement of The Bushwhackers, and Brother Love – who I hated), and unlike the 1989 version, time has not really effected my judgment. *