WWF Royal Rumble 1997

By the time the calendar flipped to 1997, the increasing momentum WCW had a year before had swelled to the point of overtaking the WWF entirely in mid-1996, with their seemingly unstoppable nWo angle dominating both TV ratings and pay per view buyrates. The WWF was in limbo – not quite abandoning the failed ‘New Generation,’ and not quite turning into what would be the ‘Attitude Era’ – though signs of change were everywhere.

From San Antonio, Texas; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Jerry Lawler – live from the Alamodome, an arena that can hold over 60,000, though with the WWF’s plummeting appeal, only drawing a fraction of that – forcing them to give away some 20,000 tickets literally to random people on the street, just to fill seats.


Opening WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Hunter Hearst Helmsley v Goldust: Goldust's character had been toned way, way down over 1996, though both guys were still wrestling as heels at this point, with the angle being that Hunter had hit on Goldust's manager Marlena - inspiring a memorable interview with Jerry Lawler, where he asked Goldust why he would care, since he's, 'you know... queer.' Goldust jumps him in the aisle, and kicks his ass into the ring - only to throw him right back out, and into the rail. In again for a ten-punch, but HHH hits an inverted atomic drop to counter. He goes for the Pedigree early, but Goldust counters into a slingshot - firing Helmsley to the floor again. Goldust chucks the stairs at him for good measure, and then tries for the countout win. HHH beats it - snapping Goldust's neck across the ropes on the way, and blows him low. Goldust bails to regroup, but HHH is right on him with a flying axehandle to the outside. Into the post, but a blind charge into the rail misses. Goldust follows up by hammering the knee, and hooking a leglock. Figure four, but Hunter makes the ropes. The damage is done, however, so he tries to bail to the floor to regroup - only to get clipped by Goldust. Kneebreaker onto the stairs, but Goldust misses a bodypress, and throws him into the steps to return the favor. Hey, that's just good manners. He tries a chair, but the referee intervenes. Right, because the rail, the steps, the post - no problem. But a chair?! Are they defective?! Goldust with a jumping clothesline, and a nice backdrop, but he gets crotched on the top rope. Hunter tries a superplex off, but Goldust headbutts him - only to miss a flying elbowdrop. Hunter gets hold of the title belt, but Marlena gets involved, and Goldust clobbers him with it - only to have Helmsley's bodyguard, Mr. Hughes, pull him out. That distraction allows HHH the Pedigree, and he retains at 16:50. Not technically awful, but a long, dull match, where a hot one was needed. Especially when opening a show in front of a largely papered crowd. Also, how useless was Mr. Hughes? Sure, he helped Hunter get the eventual victory, but only after letting him get his ass kicked all over ringside for fifteen minutes while he stood idly by. No wonder he got traded for Chyna the next month. *

Ahmed Johnson v Faarooq: This was the long delayed payoff to Faarooq attacking Johnson when the former debuted in the WWF over the summer of 1996 - originally scheduled for SummerSlam, but delayed when Johnson was injured. Ahmed charges in with a spear, and beats the Faarooq in the corner like he owes him money. Eye rake tries to turn the tide, but Ahmed no-sells, and catches him with a diving shoulderblock. He unloads on Faarooq with a belt, and throws him into the stairs. Leave those poor steps alone! They had enough fun in the last match, and some poor schmo just had to set them back up! Dicks. Faarooq agrees, clobbering Ahmed with a chair to the injured kidneys, and dropping him onto it - kidney first. Inside, Faarooq continues to hammer the kidneys, as the action slows down. Reverse chinlock, but Ahmed powers up into an electric chair. Powerslam, but he runs into a spinebuster. Faarooq makes the mistake of jawing with the crowd ('hey, any of you guys seen Anthony? He's my little brother. If anyone sees Anthony, tell him I've got his weed.')  and Ahmed returns the spinebustering favor. The Nation of Domination (Faarooq's militant black faction) run in, however, and it's a disqualification at 8:48 - since this feud hasn't been dragged out enough already. Afterwards, Ahmed puts a random Nation member through a table to save face. He was doing a lot of cool shit like that around this period - including a memorable episode of the terrific Shotgun Saturday Night, where he powerbombed D-lo Brown on the hood of a car. This probably should have been the opener, as it wasn't a great match, but was quick, and had enough high impact stuff to engage the apathetic crowd. ½*

The Undertaker v Vader: Vader tries to jump him, but gets dodged, and choked in the corner. Vader responds with body shots (they're close to the border, he figured he'd work in a little vacation), but 'Taker no sells literally everything, and beats Vader into the aisle. Fameasser, and he slams the big man with ease. Legdrop gets two, but Vader crotches him during the ropewalk. Hey, he's just asking for it every time with that spot. Vader follows up with another ball shot, and takes 'Taker to the corner for some more body shots. Avalanche, and a 2^nd rope bodypress gets two. Nervehold, but 'Taker slugs his way out, and punctuates it with a side suplex. Vader responds by blowing him low again (what happens on vacation...), only to get powerslammed off of another 2^nd rope bodypress. He still manages a powerbomb for two, but 'Taker catches him with a jumping clothesline off of a criss cross. Proper ropewalk forearm, cues Paul Bearer (not aligned with Undertaker at this point, for those Bearer-tracking) to ringside, as 'Taker hits a chokeslam. Undertaker heads out to properly deal with him, but even that isn't enough distraction to allow Vader to properly take over. Not until 'Taker misses a leap onto the rail is Vader allowed to hit the Vaderbomb for the pin at 13:19. Vader was working notably loose for him, but I guess you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, and if you work for the WWF, you definitely don't risk injuring The Undertaker. Another dull match, though both guys were trying. ½*

Six-Man Tag Team Match: Jerry Estrada, Heavy Metal, and Fuerza Guerrera v Hector Garza, Perro Aguayo, and El Canek: One of the WWF's many ill-advised responses to WCW's dominance was to introduce a group of imports from Mexico's AAA wrestling group, in an attempt to compete with the Cruiserweight division, and add an international presence. Unfortunately, there was not a Rey Mysterio or Eddie Guerrero in the bunch, and it failed to catch on - finally being dropped after boring audiences (including twelve year old me, who would always change the channel to Nitro when these guys came on) for months. Everybody works 'Lucha style' to start - which is code for 'lots of cartwheels and rolls.' I have a hard time following, because I have no idea who these guys are (I took a bathroom break when it aired in 1997), and the commentators aren't making it especially clear. They go on for a while without anybody busting out anything particularly notable (especially for a 'cruiserweight match'), until Heavy Metal gets pinned by Perro Aguayo after a botched flying double stomp at 10:56. As noted, the introduction of AAA into the WWF was a reactionary move, though their booking on this show made more sense, as many of the locals were familiar with AAA wrestling, and they would have had some appeal. Match was certainly well paced, but didn't come off well. If anything, it made WCW look that much better for having 'all the good ones.' ½*

#1 Contender's Royal Rumble Match: After last years disaster, back to 90 second intervals. Crush and Ahmed Johnson draw numbers one and two, and Ahmed predictably takes his frustrations with Faarooq out on his buddy. 'Razor Ramon' gets #3, but makes the mistake of interrupting Ahmed's war with the Nation - getting tossed in short order. Faarooq shows up in the aisle as a distraction, so Johnson brilliantly dives over the top to chase him to the back - though, in previous years, 'self elimination' wasn't counted. Though, in previous years it wasn't a black guy who did it, so... really... racism eliminated Ahmed Johnson. Phineas Godwinn gets #4, and plays with poor, lonely Crush. Steve Austin gets #5, adding some intrigue, as audiences were getting more and more into him as each day passed. He gets hammered by Godwinn coming in (who tosses Crush on the way) before walking into a Stunner for mouthing off. Austin tosses him to clear the ring, as Bart Gunn gets #6. Austin tosses him without breaking a sweat, and does some pushups for good measure. He sits on the turnbuckle - miming checking his watch - as Jake Roberts enters at #7. Austin mocks his religion on the way in, so Jake locks him in a punishing armbar. For Jesus. Austin gets rid of him. For humanity. Meanwhile, Davey Boy Smith draws #8, and stomps a mud hole on Austin. Running Powerslam hits, as #9 draw Pierroth hits the ring. He takes a quick spinebuster from Bulldog, but he clearly wasn't briefed on working WWF-style, as he just keeps coming. The Sultan gets #10, and goes to Pierroth, as Austin gets Bulldog in a leglock. #11 is Mil Mascaras, and he goes right for Sultan - likely in a show of Mexican unity. Hunter Hearst Helmsley draws #12, and pretty much becomes everyone's bitch, as Davey dumps the Sultan. Owen Hart gets lucky #13, and helps Davey in his war with Austin, but 'accidentally' tosses Bulldog over. That would lead to months of teasing a breakup, before the Hart Foundation angle derailed that plan. Goldust gets #14, and wants Triple H - but gets Austin instead. #15 is Cibernetico - jackked to go all the way to WrestleMania! - but the other Mexicans kill his dreams. Marc Mero gets #16, as Mascaras dumps Pierroth - then makes the brilliant move of diving out after him. Goldust gets his revenge by tossing Triple H, as #17 entry Latin Lover tries to make his WrestleMania dreams come true. Owen's actually nice enough to work a little sequence, and sell for him, but no one else wants to play along. Faarooq gets #18, and quickly dumps his Lover. Clearly jealous, Ahmed Johnson runs back out with a 2x4 (WWF fans have learned that it's good for clearing Hooooooos), and gets rid of him. Meanwhile, Austin gets the ring to himself - and though he can't even stand, still motions for the next motherfucker to come through the curtain. Unfortunately, that motherfucker is Savio Vega. Austin dumps him before I even finish typing that sentence. #20 is a pre-Road Dogg Jesse James, and he, too, gets Austin'd, with the crowd now building support for his run of dominance - so he flips them off for it. His greatest nemesis, Bret Hart, gets #21 drawing a brilliant look of fear from Austin, which he quickly segues into rage. Hart destroys him, and locks the Sharpshooter as Jerry Lawler gets #22 – leaving the announce position to join in. In a fantastic bit, he leaves the announce table saying that it 'takes a king,' gets immediately eliminated by Hart with one punch, and adds 'to know a king' as soon as he gets the headset back on. 'Diesel' is #23, and he stays out of the way as Austin works Hart over. Considering how many people in the building are very casual fans (or not fans at all), I think it would be a reasonable notion that some of them actually think it's still Kevin Nash. Terry Funk draws #24, and has a Texas-shootout with Austin, as Hart time travels back two years - fighting Diesel. Rocky Maivia gets #25, and goes right for Austin. He was still a bouncing babyface newcomer at this point - a long way away from morphing into 'The Rock' - so it's a lot less exciting than it sounds. Mankind gets #27, whose entry continues to fill the ring with Legends and Hall of Famers - though, most of them hadn't done what they would go on to become legendary for yet, so it's less than captivating. In early 1997, the only real contenders in there are Hart and Austin, with Mankind as a dark horse possibility. Everyone slugs it out - Austin pairing with Hart, Mankind with Funk, and 'Diesel' with Rocky - until Flash Funk joins us at #27. Bret responds to the news by piledriving Austin, and Vader gets #28. He goes right for Hart, but Flash Funk intervenes! That goes about as well for him as you'd imagine. If you have no imagination, I'll just outright tell you he gets slaughtered. Henry Godwinn draws #29, and he spreads the love around. Everyone pairs off again - instead of doing the smart thing, and ganging up on big Vader - as The Undertaker rounds the field out at #30, complete with lights off entrance. He goes right at Vader and Mankind, of course, but chokeslams Steve Austin for good measure. Vader manages to break away long enough to blockbuster Flash over the top (robbing us of a Funk/Funk final), but Terry's busy enough trading chops with Austin. Godwinn's first to go (via Undertaker), as Mankind dumps Rocky. He goes off to continue his war with Funk, but they botch a Cactus Clothesline double elimination spot, so Mankind suplexes Funk out, then 'Taker finishes the sequence by booting Mankind. Hart dramatically dumps Austin, leaving himself, Vader, Undertaker, and 'Diesel' as the final four - but the referee didn't see Austin's elimination, as they were caught up trying to pull Mankind and Terry Funk apart. That allows Steve to sneak back in, and dump everybody for the win at 50:29. Afterwards, Bret throws a fit (like, a 'five' on the Montreal Scale), and would 'quit' the WWF the next night on RAW. That all led to a showdown between Vader, Undertaker, Hart, and Austin at the next pay per view, en route to the ill-fated WrestleMania 13. Not a great Rumble, but the best version in a few years, as the Austin storyline carried what was a well paced, well timed match, and it was well booked - pissing off fans like me who hated Austin at the time, and further elevating him to true main event status. ** ¾

Main Event: WWF Title Match: Sid v Shawn Michaels: This is the big re-match from Survivor Series - where Sid defeated Michaels for the title - though this time (in his hometown), Shawn gets an undisputed babyface reaction. Big staredown - with Sid shoving him around - so Shawn throws a bodypress, and dumps the champion. Sid tries a press slam in the aisle when Shawn follows out, but gets his eyes raked, and rolled back inside. Michaels with a flying bodypress, but Sid catches him with a powerslam on the way down. Reverse chinlock, but Shawn breaks free, only to get Flair flipped to the floor. Sid follows out to post him, and inside hooks another chinlock. After a night of sitting on their hands, the crowd is finally actually into a match, and Sid decides a chinlock exhibition is the way to go. Shawn must have said something, but I guess it got lost in translation, because his response is to switch to a bearhug. Sid actually turns it into a pinfall attempt, but when it fails, decides to go back to what he knows: the chinlock. Thankfully, Shawn pretty quickly escapes, and slams him. Diving forearm wakes the crowd up, and he drops a flying elbow. Superkick, but Sid dodges, and backdrops the challenger to the floor. Powerbomb out there, and a chokeslam back inside, but the referee gets bumped. That allows Shawn to grab a TV camera (as a receipt for Sid's use of it to win the title at Survivor Series), but even that only gets a dramatic two count. Superkick finishes for real at 13:49. Quite unbelievably, after that performance, Sid would get another run with the title going into WrestleMania. Match was filled with restholds, and nowhere near as good as the one that set it up, but short enough to avoid becoming offensively bad. Hindsight has shown that it probably would have been better to keep the title on Sid through WrestleMania, but at the time the booking made sense, before Shawn's unprofessionalism wrecked WrestleMania. ½*

BUExperience: I hated this show as a kid, and time has not been particularly kind to it – though now I dislike it for much different reasons. As a kid, I hated the fact that Austin screwed Bret Hart out of the Rumble, but today that’s probably the most interesting part of a show filled with dull matches, slow motion matches, in front of a large – but dead – crowd.  The Rumble itself takes up a good third of the show – which is certainly not insignificant – but the rest just can’t make up for it.

While stiff competition from WCW directly influenced many changes in the WWF throughout 1997 that would lead to the Attitude Era – things such as Degeneration-X, The Hart Foundation, the rise of Steve Austin, and more mature programming – this show serves more as an example of many of the WWF’s follies on the way to success. *